Staying up late at night, worried about your children is a common occurrence for all parents. What are they watching on their phones? Who are they chatting with? Who was that my kid just drove off with? Standard parental anxiety. However, now there is a new fear that has taken over my nightly worries and has manifested into actual terror. No, I am not being dramatic, this fear is real. I am speaking about our Gov. Bill Lee and the smug way he just made it impossible for queer and trans youth to exist safely in our state.
I am a mama, a proud one. My children do not seem to want to conform to gender-assigned clothing, never have and probably never will. Because my oldest likes to wear clothes bought on the “boys” side of Target, has always been a little advocate for the LGBTQ community, and prefers they/them pronouns, I am terrified that the governor has just given permission for narrow-minded and frighteningly armed people to target and bully my beautiful and brilliant kiddo.
A slew of anti-trans legislation poured out of our state capitol building like the pink slime in Ghostbusters. Just oozing with hate, really bad science and information. The Tennessee Equality Project works so hard to fight this “slate of hate” and try to keep our youth safe. Yet, that train left the station and instead of working on pandemic relief and healthcare needs for our suffering state, the state government dug in and went full bully on our most vulnerable.
When I watched Gov. Lee sign some of the cruelest anti-trans legislation, with his giant smug smile slapped across his face, I wanted to pack up and leave. I wanted to find that progressive utopia, where my children could learn freely about American history without it being sliced into slivers of white bread. My husband and I could raise our children in peace, free from the fear of being targets. We were going to find that location, move, and let Tennessee be a distant memory. There was only one problem — that place does not truly exist in America. Sure, there are more “tolerant” cities and states, but we are not looking to be “tolerated.” We just want to live our lives, safely and free of fear.
I have seen so many posts from friends and acquaintances saying it is time to leave Tennessee. They, too, are living in a world where their fears are becoming realities. We are making national and international headlines, where people are commenting that they never plan on coming to Tennessee because we are so hateful. Well that sucks for our tourism industry, our ability to recruit new business and wealth. Who will invest in us now? Trust me, these hateful bills will come back to bite Gov. Lee, straight in his dad jeans.
After a week of thinking about a lot of things — mainly how to keep my children safe from bigots and bullies — I decided the best thing to do is stay, be brave, and protect all our children. Leaving is what those knuckle-draggers want, so they can slowly create a Tennessee where everything is homogenized and covered in mayonnaise. Well, this Latinx mama, who wants her children to live freely and safely, is not going anywhere. (Although, it is always good to have a backup plan, like a godfather in NYC.)
I want nothing but safety and protections for my child and yours. I want dignity restored, and I want these East Tennessee Republicans to get the heck out of my business because I am a Memphian and I am willing to get in the mud to make their ability to pass outrageous and bigoted laws more difficult. I will take up more space. I will be louder and more visible, and I will not allow them to make a weird white pseudostate because they feel like their “culture” is being threatened. I know it is tempting to start the process of moving to a more tolerant place, but for now let’s stay and try to right the wrongs of this last year. As a mama, a Memphian, and your neighbor, I will always be on the side of dignity for all. I hope you will stay and fight that fight with me. Donate to your local LGBTQ organizations, be your child’s first champion, not their first bully. Memphis is our home; let’s keep it safe for all.
Liz Rincon is a political consultant.
