In Which The Hand of God Is Felt (Truly)

from our friend The Freedonian [Rick Maynard]:

My Conversation With God

Someone hit me at the
Freedonian Mailbag… to
tell me this:

“You’re a disgusting person. You need to worry about your relationship
with God.” – Name withheld by request

So I was thinking “You know, despite the asshattery expressed elsewhere in
the email, maybe this irate man of letters (A few of which were actually in
the proper order to spell words) is onto something.

As it so happens, I am a resourceful, well-connected man. So I called God up
on my cell phone (I got the number from Isaac Hayes, who was obviously under
divine inspiration when he wrote “(The Theme From) Shaft”. The following is
a transcript of our conversation….

To get right to the whole of this illuminating dialogue, go here. We command you!