Least Competent Criminal
• On Dec. 9, as first responders were assisting a person “experiencing an altered mental state” in Columbia County, Florida, Stanley Williams, 35, hopped into the waiting ambulance and drove away, ClickOrlando reported. But officers didn’t have to chase him down — Williams drove to the sheriff’s office operations center and stopped near the main entrance, where he was arrested and taken to a hospital for examination. Williams faces grand theft and evading law enforcement charges. [ClickOrlando, 12/12/2023]
• Leonard Thuo Mwithiga, 52, a Kenyan executive, followed his wife of 22 years to the United States, hoping to convince her to return home to him, Oddity Central reported. But when she refused, Mwithiga allegedly decided she must die. During an Uber ride, Mwithiga told the driver he was “very, very mad” and needed a hit man. The Uber driver got in touch with Connecticut State Police, who enlisted him as an informant. Between September and December, the two engaged in multiple conversations about the plot, all of which were shared with authorities. Mwithiga wanted his wife “injected with something to make her very sick, ‘like a cancer,’” and he wanted her to die a slow death. Finally, on Dec. 4, the informant introduced Mwithiga to a “hit man,” i.e., undercover cop, who was paid an advance on the job. Mwithiga asked that she be killed while he was away in Kenya, so he would have an alibi. Instead, he was arrested and held on $5 million bond. [Oddity Central, 12/13/2023]
Saw That Coming
Kathryn Tunison Smith, 67, of Midvale, Utah, already had five outstanding arrest warrants against her, two involving her neighbors, when she sealed her own fate, ABC4-TV reported. On Dec. 12, she was arrested after a TikTok video came to light depicting Smith making racist and crass comments to a neighbor. In one interaction, Smith came onto the neighbor’s property and “began ripping up [the neighbor’s] garden and continued … until the neighbor chased her away with a stick,” the charges allege. Mayor Marcus Stevenson posted on X, “I’m hopeful that this is a positive step for the healing of the targeted family, the affected neighborhood, Ms. Smith, and our entire community.” She was booked and released on her own recognizance, so … [ABC4, 12/13/2023]
Wait, What?
Sergey Vladimirovich Ochigava was arraigned on Dec. 5 in Los Angeles federal court after a bizarrely uninterrupted trip from Denmark to L.A., the Associated Press reported. The Russian flew in November without a ticket, passport, visa, or seat assignment. Flight crew members told investigators that he wandered around the plane and switched seats while talking with other passengers. When U.S. Customs and Border Patrol searched his belongings, they found “Russian identification cards and an Israeli identification card,” court documents outlined. Ochigava gave a variety of explanations, including that he hadn’t slept in three days and wasn’t sure how he got through security in Copenhagen. A trial is scheduled for Dec. 26. [AP, 12/13/2023]
Our Litigious Society
• Cynthia Kelly, 18, of Hillsborough County, Florida, has sued The Hershey Co. for $5 million because the Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins she bought in October didn’t have a jack-o’-lantern face on them as shown on the packaging. ClickOrlando reported on Dec. 29 that Kelly accused the company of “false and deceptive advertising,” and she “would not have purchased the Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkins product if she knew that it did not have the detailed carvings of the mouth and/or eyes as pictured on the product label,” the suit reads. She also pointed out that the White Ghost and Football candies were missing their own key details. One reviewer called the pumpkin a “monstrosity.” [ClickOrlando, 12/29/2023]
• Two years ago, Paul Kerouac stopped at a Dunkin’ Donuts in Winter Park, Florida, where he used the restroom, the New York Post reported. While he was indisposed, the toilet he was occupying exploded, leaving him “covered with debris, including human feces and urine,” according to a lawsuit filed on Jan. 3 in Florida’s 9th Judicial District. Kerouac claims the Dunkin’ workers knew there was a “problem with the toilet” and says he now “requires mental health care and counseling as a direct result of the trauma he experienced in the restroom.” [NY Post, 1/4/2024]
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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