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News of the Weird: Week of 05/18/23

Bloody cocktails, middle-school fight club, and interstate loot.

Recent Alarming Headline

KOKH-TV reported that on March 12, a woman in Dickson, Oklahoma, was attacked by her neighbor’s pet monkey, Jack, resulting in her ear being ripped “almost completely off my head,” the victim, Brittany Parker, said. “He started grabbing handfuls of my hair and just ripped it out,” she added. Dickson police were called, and as they looked for the monkey, two shots were fired. “The shots came from the area of the victim’s residence. Officers went back to the house and found that a family member of the victim shot and killed the primate,” police said. Parker said she will need plastic surgery to fix her ear. P.J. Carter, Jack’s owner, is distraught: “I lost my best friend and pet due to it all,” he said. “He was my super monkey. I feel sorry for [Parker] and her injury. My friend and pet Jack lost his life over a massive misunderstanding and the lack of knowledge and education with an exotic animal,” Carter added. The district attorney has declined to file charges. [KOKH, 3/17/2023]

Creme de la Weird

The Mondaiji Con Cafe Daku (loosely translated: Problem Child Concept Cafe) in Sapporo, Japan, was forced to fire one of its waitresses in April after she was discovered to be adding her own blood to cocktails, the Daily Mail reported. The cafe owner called her actions “absolutely not acceptable” and said the establishment would close while every drinking glass was replaced. “We will hire a contractor to clean the store, change glasses, and dispose of alcoholic beverages that may have been contaminated,” he said. He called her actions “part-time job terrorism.” A local doctor said anyone who had patronized the cafe should visit a doctor and have a blood test. [Daily Mail, 4/13/2023]

It’s a Mystery

Over the last several months, Don Powell and his wife, Nancy, have been puzzling over uninvited inhabitants of their fancy mailbox in Orchard Lake, Michigan. USA Today reported that in August 2022, two small dolls, a miniature couch, and a small table appeared in the mailbox, which is custom-built to resemble the Powells’ home, with windows and a solar-powered interior light that comes on at night. The dolls were accompanied by a note: “We’ve decided to live here. Mary and Shelley.” Powell thought a neighbor might be spoofing him, but after exhaustive investigatory work, he’s no closer to knowing the source of the figures. Over time, the home gained a four-poster bed, a dog, a rug, and art for the wall. “The whole thing got rather whimsical,” Powell said. At Halloween, Mary and Shelley were replaced by two skeleton dolls dressed in black, and at Christmas, tiny, wrapped gifts appeared. Now, Powell is thinking of writing a children’s book about the mailbox mystery. “I think it creates a novel story,” he said. [USA Today, 4/13/2023]

The Continuing Crisis

Angel Footman, 23, a teacher at Griffin Middle School in Tallahassee, Florida, was arrested on April 7 and charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, the New York Post reported. The charges came after school administrators learned Footman was allegedly hosting violent brawls between students in her classroom. Naturally, she set down rules: no recordings, and no pulling hair. No screaming (draws attention). Fights must be limited to 30 seconds each. However, several sixth-grade girls alerted administrators, and video turned up showing Footman at her desk while students fought each other. She’s scheduled for arraignment in May. [NY Post, 4/10/2023]

Bright Idea

Drivers along Interstate 5 near Eugene, Oregon, were startled on April 11 to see $100 bills floating through the air, Fox News reported. In fact, many cars stopped along the highway to grab the loot. When the Oregon State Police tracked down the source, it was Colin Davis McCarthy, who told them he’d been throwing the money out of his car to “bless others.” He said he thought he’d dispersed around $200,000. The OSP later revealed that McCarthy’s family had been in touch; he had depleted a shared family bank account for his Robin Hood moment. [Fox News, 4/14/2023]

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
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