Redneck Chronicles
At the Walmart in Eunice, Louisiana, police were called around 3:30 p.m. on June 22 about a group of women who were fighting, KADN-TV reported. They arrested Brionka Benjamin, 38, and her niece, Makatelynn Benjamin, 20, for simple battery, but Brionka got an additional charge: When the fight began, police discovered on surveillance video, she allegedly tossed her baby into a trash can near the entrance to the store so her hands would be free to slug another woman. She was charged with cruelty to juveniles; the baby was unharmed and released to relatives. [KADN, 6/24/2024]
It’s Good to Have a Hobby (Horse)
Some 260 riders from 22 countries showed up to the 11th annual Finnish Hobby Horse Championships in Seinajoki, Finland, on June 15, AFP reported. We could stop right there, but why would we? Hobby horsing involves people riding stick horses through a series of jumps, intricate dressage moves, and Western riding events. While hobby horsing is not recognized as an official sport in Finland, participants take it seriously. “We have faced so much bullying and judgment,” rider Nara Arlin, 24, said. Even so, the sport “is growing every year,” said Julia Mikkonen, chair of the Finnish hobby horse association. She notes the athleticism involved in some of the events: “If you jump over obstacles, your hip mobility has to be absolutely insane,” she said. She estimates there are about 10,000 hobby horsers worldwide. [AFP, 6/26/2024]
Awesome!
Fans of 1960s kitschy TV show Batman will not be surprised to learn that trusty sidekick Robin (also known as Burt Ward) has received the President’s Lifetime Achievement Award for rescuing more than 15,000 pets. WTOP-TV reported on June 26 that at the same ceremony, Ward and his wife received the United Nations Association of the United States of America Humanitarian Award for their work saving 45 different breeds of dogs. The former Boy Wonder said he and his wife “want to leave this planet better off than when we found it.” (We must have missed the episode when Robin found Earth.)
News That Sounds Like a Joke
• On June 24 in a federal by-election in Toronto, Canada, candidate Felix-Antoine Hamel, 45, made history: He received zero votes. The CBC reported that Hamel was approached by a friend to add his name to the ballot, one of the longest in Canadian history, as part of a protest against Canada’s electoral system. “Well, I am the true unity candidate,” Hamel said. “Everyone agrees not to vote for me.” Hamel couldn’t even vote for himself, as he is from Montreal, not Toronto. “I’m one of the last people that would be expected to make Canadian history in any way,” the musician said. [CBC, 6/27/2024]
• Jillian Uygun, 22, of Seminole, Florida, just wanted a cuddle from her boyfriend on June 29, The Smoking Gun reported. But when he refused her, they argued about the “victim’s disinterest,” police said. The next morning, Uygun repeatedly tried to snuggle with the boyfriend — then allegedly took it up a notch, grabbing his chest hair, scratching his face, biting him on the forehead, and breaking his phone. She was arrested for domestic battery, and a judge ordered her to have no contact with her cuddle-resistant boyfriend. [Smoking Gun, 7/1/2024]
Saw That Coming
Rolling Stone reported on July 2 that prolific baby daddy and host of The Masked Singer Nick Cannon has recently insured his “most valuable assets” for $10 million. “You hear about, like, all these different celebrities insuring their legs … so I was like, ‘Hey, well, I got to insure my most valuable body part,’” Cannon said. Even better, the “Ball-to-Ball” policy was taken out with Dr. Squatch, a men’s grooming company that invites users to find the “value of their balls.” The father of 12 (with five different mamas) said he’s “doubling down on … my future kids.” [Rolling Stone, 7/2/2024]
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NEWS OF THE WEIRD
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