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News of the Weird: Week of 12/28/23

Psychedelic strength, alarming headlines, and bright ideas.

Inexplicable

Two unsuspecting visitors to Wortham Park in Houston, Texas, on Oct. 26 were the victims of a teenager’s scream for attention, KHOU-TV reported. Alford Lasean Lewis, 19, and 18-year-old Kingston Miker cooked up a scheme wherein Lewis first tried to rob a man, and then sucker-punched another man in the back of the head, as Miker filmed the actions. “They did this for fun and posted it on social media, which is simply unacceptable,” said Ashlea Sheridan, a prosecutor in the Harris County District Attorney’s office. Lewis was contrite: “You know, I just made a mistake, and everybody makes mistakes,” he told KHOU. “What people don’t see is that I shook his hand after and gave the man a hug.” Oh well, then. Case closed. [KHOU, 10/30/2023]

Buried the Lede

Joshua Dillon, 37, went on a drug-fueled rampage early on Oct. 29, forcing his way into two homes in Rush Township, Pennsylvania, WTAJ-TV reported. Dillon told homeowners he had been shot and was in danger. After barging in at the last house, he threw a television to the ground, dumped a CD rack, threw a lamp, BROKE THE HANDLE OFF A CAST IRON SKILLET (our emphasis), and rubbed frozen meat on his chest. Dillon had allegedly consumed a quarter-ounce of hallucinogenic mushrooms and now faces felony charges of burglary and criminal trespassing. But let’s talk about that skillet handle! [WTAJ, 11/1/2023]

Recent Alarming Headlines

• On Nov. 7, David Lassiter, 74, of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, left his wallet behind when he voted, PennLive.com reported. Lassiter returned to the polling place and found his wallet, but $100 was missing. Police said he “made a scene inside … [and] made threats to come back with a firearm.” At home, he called police to report the alleged theft, but then said he would get a gun and handle it on his own. Officers arrived at the polling station before Lassiter arrived; in his car, they found seven firearms with ammunition. “Mr. Lassiter became aggressive and hostile toward the officers on scene,” police said. “He was detained for his safety as well as that of everyone on the scene.” [PennLive.com, 11/8/2023]

• Well, this escalated quickly. A man in Malaga, Spain, called a plumber on Nov. 4 to fix a broken pipe in his home, Oddity Central reported. After assessing the project, the plumber gave the homeowner an estimate, which sent the homeowner into a rage. He produced a firearm and threatened to kill the plumber; neighbors heard the disturbance and called police, but when they arrived, the homeowner would not release his hostage. Police got a glimpse of him and the plumber/hostage through a window and began negotiations; they asked the man to slightly open the front door so they could see that the plumber was all right. That’s when special forces stormed in and rescued the hostage. The homeowner is in police custody. [Oddity Central, 11/8/2023]

It Doesn’t Work That Way

On Nov. 1, at Canberra Airport in Australia, a woman who seemingly missed her flight ran past security and onto the tarmac, trying to attract the attention of the pilot, 9News reported. The QantasLink flight was headed to Adelaide. Witness Dennis Bilic said it was “weird” that no one stopped her: “People were a bit flat-footed … that was the weird part.” Another witness said the pilot was “warned or spotted her and killed the engine.” Flights were delayed for about 10 minutes after the incident. [9News, 11/2/2023]

Bright Idea

Workers at Arlington Auto Wrecking in Akron, Ohio, had had enough of 26-year-old Alexander Funk, who had broken into the facility three times, Fox News reported on Nov. 5. In the most recent incident in October, Funk broke into an SUV on the lot, but before he could drive away, a forklift driver hoisted the car about 20 feet off the ground with Funk inside. When they explained the situation to the 911 operator, they said, “Wonderful, that is the greatest thing I’ve ever heard.” Officers arrived and Funk was lowered to the ground and handcuffed. He was charged with criminal trespassing and possessing criminal tools. [Fox News, 11/5/2023]

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
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