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STARTIN’ ‘EM OFF YOUNG

A recent e-mail from the Raelian Movement, whatever that is, loudly announced, “RELIGIOUS LEADER THINKS THAT PARENTS SHOLD GIVE THEIR TEENS CONDOMS.” More specifically, Rick Roehr,the president of said movement, urged parents to leave condoms lying about in their children’s bedrooms with a message on them — on the condom, we mean, and taped on, not stapled, we hope — reading, “Make love not war.” After all, as he explained, “teenage sex is quite natural.” Now, if that’s true, then why did they send Uncle Billy to the state pen?