Advice – Memphis Flyer

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Egon Schiele, ‘Sleeping Woman (Wally Neuzil)’

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Dear Bianca,

I recently began dating a woman whom I met through a friend. She’s really cool, and we have plenty of common interests. Every time we go out, we have a blast.

She has a daughter who lives with her ex-husband in California. And that’s fine. I like kids. But there’s one weird thing that’s really been creeping me out. Apparently, up until a few months ago, she’d believed her daughter was dead.

Her ex-husband told this woman that her daughter had died in a car accident over a year ago, and rather than drive there for a funeral or even to verify the story, she took him at his word.

I think that’s weird. And did I mention creepy? What kind of mother doesn’t attend her child’s funeral? Does she have no moral compass? Or am I just overreacting?

— Mr. Morality

Dear Mr. Morality,

I agree with you on this one. The whole scenario is completely eerie. However, I’m more concerned with the ex-husband’s moral compass than the mother’s.

Rather than asking what kind of mother doesn’t attend her daughter’s funeral, you should be asking what kind of dad makes up a story that his daughter his dead? I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.

When the father told the mother that her daughter died in a car wreck, perhaps he made up some lie about the body being burned and therefore he wasn’t planning a funeral. Or maybe he told her months after the supposed accident, after a funeral would have already taken place. He’s obviously not on good terms with this woman, so I doubt she’d be surprised if he failed to mention funeral plans. I mean we are talking about a man who told his ex-wife their daughter was dead.

If you’re really into this woman, try not to let her past affect the good thing you two have now. You’re probably overreacting and you’ll learn more about her character (and possible flaws) if the relationship lasts. But since her daughter and ex live across the country, I doubt they’ll be playing a big part in any relationship you pursue with this woman.

Got a problem? Bianca can solve it … or least give you crappy advice that you can choose to ignore. Send advice queries to bphillips@memphisflyer.com.