Alex’s – Memphis Flyer

Community organizer Bing Hampton knows his audience. “Big Development’s not gonna get their grubby paws on Alex’s Tavern,” he shouts into his trusty bullhorn. There’s no reason to believe developers of any size are looking to acquire the Jackson Avenue institution, but that did not allay the concerns of roughly two-dozen Midtowners who waved signs with all-cap messages like “THE DIVE MUST SURVIVE,” and answered back, “Hell no.”

“We’ve started a GimmeGimme fund to build a wall around this treasured drinking establishment,” says Hampton, whose career in activism began when he organized protests to prevent a new Taco Bell from being built over the old Taco Bell that was built over the even older Taliesyn Ballroom where British Punk band the Sex Pistols played on their disastrous 1978 American tour. Hampton says he’s still sore about losing that fight but counts his campaign to prevent the Union Avenue Kroger from being built in Germantown as a total win.

“I’ve shown the power of getting out in front of a problems that don’t yet exist,” Hampton told the crowd, recalling how he was shocked at first by news that his favorite Midtown bar, Zinnie’s, was closing as the result of neighborhood gentrification. Then he was disgusted when he heard it probably had nothing to do with gentrification. Then he was dismayed when he learned that sometimes stories are complicated with many shifting perspectives and no discernible hero or villain.

“The big takeaway for me was, we’ve got to save Alex’s,” Hampton announced to even greater applause. “And Murphy’s too,” he added. “But not right now because you’ve got to start somewhere and Alex’s seems doable. Besides, the Murphy’s guy heckled my band once, so whatever, dude.”

Hampton told Fly on the Wall he’d already raised $80 toward erecting “a substantial

Bing Hampton

fence,” but won’t be able to move forward with his multi-phase plan until he hears back from tavern owner, Rocky Kasaftes, whom he’s yet to contact.

“We want to do a crocodile moat too, or maybe a snake pit,” Hampton said, in his address. “Snakes. Snakes. Snakes,” the crowd chanted.

“It would be nice to see a developer eaten by either crocodiles or snakes,” says former Midtown resident and dive bar enthusiast Chelsea Lamar. “I miss all these shithole places I used go to before I moved,” she adds. Lamar, who swears “shithole” is a term of endearment, now lives in Cordova. “Even if I can’t patronize any of these bars anymore, it comforts me just knowing that they’re there,” she says.
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Yes, this is a parody. Didn’t you see the black and yellow tab up top?

So, apparently, one night or day (who knows?) somebody up and left their shoes at the Buccaneer. Interestingly enough, the shoes abandoned at the Bucc are Bucks, in classic taupe. The owner may have been drunk. Maybe he had flip flops on and was going to change into the Bucks. Maybe he was the one who brought the pillow in and left his bike helmet, too. Justin Fox Burks suggests that the pillow was for a drum set, but I like to imagine something far less logical.

All of this, of course, is mere speculation, gathered from the beery anthropology pit of the bar’s lost and found box, which in this case is a lost and found booth as well as a lost and found closet/office (“cloffice,” we are told).

Justin Fox Burks

Candice Corum at the Buccaneer in the “cloffice”

A couple weeks ago I lost my wallet, and then I found my wallet. Somewhere in between, I called the Blue Monkey where I had lunch and am told they don’t have it. Desperately, I described the wallet, as if mere adjectives will conjure it up. “Oh, honey,” the woman on the phone told me, “all we’ve got are sunglasses and car keys.” This made me laugh because I figured this was true of all lost and found boxes. So I decided to check.

And, yes indeed, there are a lot of glasses (the Bayou has the most stylish) and car keys. (We even had reports of cars “lost” at two places.) Somebody left meds at Alex’s (nothing fun, we checked) and yet another person left a full cosmetics bag. If you can’t find your phone charger or music stand, you might check Murphy’s.

Justin Fox Burks

Benny Carter at Murphy’s

But mostly, it’s clothes — an array of shirts and jackets and sweaters and scarves. There is a swell tie with whales on it at Alex’s. At the Buccaneer, beyond the shoes, we unearth sweaters and jackets and a sweet-looking scarf. At Murphy’s, there’s a cool vintage leather jacket, a North Face jacket, and tons of sweaters and shirts.

It was also at Murphy’s where we witness an amazing reunion. “That’s my umbrella,” a man says. But then he comes over to the pile of lost and found stuff and picks up the umbrella, looks it over, and decides, “That’s not mine.”