April Fools – Memphis Flyer

The city of West Memphis has petitioned President Donald Trump to rename a portion of the Mississippi River, West Memphis River.

“We’re tired of Mississippi getting all the credit,” said Mayor [Marco] McClendon. “It’s time to put West Memphis on the map — literally.”

McClendon said the rebranding would come with new signage, tourism campaigns, and possibly a West Memphis River cruise port.

NAH! Those West Memphis folks were just having a laugh on April Fool’s Day. And they weren’t alone. The MEMernet was filled with all kinds of people, businesses, and organizations having a good time on social media Tuesday.

Here are a few:

Akbari what?!

Credit: Sen. Raumesh Akbari via Facebook

Zoo what?!

“ANNOUNCEMENT: We’re expanding our Memphis identity in a bold new way.

“Memphis Zoo. Memphis, Egypt. Memphis, Tennessee. A pyramid at our entrance. It only made sense. We’re (very unofficially) launching Bass Pro at the Zoo. A concept that would bring a satellite Bass Pro Shops location right into our front plaza.

The idea? A one-of-a-kind experience. Guests could grab a camping stove, pick out the perfect tackle box, and then stroll straight into the heart of the Zoo. Maybe even roll a few frames in a tiny bowling alley near the tortoises.

“We mentioned the idea to Bass Pro. They haven’t responded. At all. So, for now, it remains a vision. But we’re putting it out into the world… because it’s April 1, and that’s what visionaries do.”

Nacho what?!

Posted to Facebook by Memphis Made Brewing Co.

“You know we had to do it big for BBQ season! 🐷 Introducing “If You Smoke It, They Will Come.” A one-of-a-kind Imperial BBQ Nacho Stout, this is a creation that could only be Memphis Made!

“Brewed with corn chip malt and smoky pork shoulder puree, this porker of a stout packs a punch at 11.3 percent ABV (Be careful over the pit when you’re smashing these bad boys!) Available on tap every Tuesday at The Ravine and in 4-packs at all Memphis Publix locations, this conversation piece is sure to make a splash at one or both of our local May BBQ Competitions!

#memphisinmay #smokeslam #bbqfest #memphismade”

Sausage what?!

Posted to Instagram by Crosstown Concourse

“Before Monogram Foods even unpacks at Crosstown Concourse, they’re already bringing the heat — literally. To celebrate their upcoming move, they’ve teamed up with us to introduce a Circle B Smoked Sausage-Scented Candle inspired by the bold flavors of Memphis and the vibrant energy of Crosstown.⁠

⁠“Founded in Memphis in 2004, Monogram Foods is a leading producer of meat snacks, hot dogs, bacon, and other packaged foods, supplying some of America’s most beloved brands. Their move to Crosstown Concourse will bring their innovative spirit and hometown pride to the heart of our community.⁠

⁠

“🔥 The Circle B Smoked Sausage Candle – Smoky, savory, and guaranteed to make you crave a classic smoked sausage.⁠

⁠“This limited-edition candle will be available for purchase throughout Crosstown Concourse, including at @milisflowersandgifts

⁠”Stay tuned for more updates as Monogram Foods settles into Crosstown!”

GTA what?!

”Super pumped about the new GTA!”

Comment by u/readforhealth

“Side Quest Southaven Rendezvous

“Rico heads south of the border to grab 12kilos from the Chesteridge apartment complex. Little does he know, Brunnie B is also en route; and he hasn’t forgotten about the mess you made of his shop during the bust up. Meanwhile, Kitty Lee preps and wraps freshly packed powder for your arrival. This could get messy.

“Car 2018 Dodge Challenger Gauntlet

“Weapons Two Sig 365Ls and a sawed-off 12

”Objective Grab cargo and get back above the line by 5 O’clock”

Duck tour what?!

Posted to Facebook by Meeman-Shelby Forest State Park

“Special April 1st Tour!

“Plunge into the silliness this April Fool’s Day with Meeman-Shelby Forest State Park’s one-of-a-kind, one day only, Submarine Tour of Poplar Tree Lake!

“Hop aboard with Ranger Chuckles as he steers through the stump-filled shallows in our cutting-edge, pedal-driven submarine — equipped with snorkels for quick getaways and a periscope that moonlights as a selfie stick.

“Be amazed by underwater spectacles like the rare migration of freshwater rubber ducks and the mysterious Poplar Tree Lake Kraken (spoiler alert: it’s just a giant bass).

“Secure your pretend tickets today for a laugh-out-loud journey that’ll leave you soaked in fun — metaphorically speaking!

“Stay tuned for more April Fool’s Day events that don’t really exist! 😂 “

River what?!

Credit: City of West Memphis via Facebook

“🚨 BIG ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MAYOR MCCLENDON 🚨

“Mayor McClendon has officially requested federal approval to rename a portion of the Mississippi River to…The West Memphis River.

“’We’re tired of Mississippi getting all the credit,’ said Mayor McClendon. ‘It’s time to put West Memphis on the map — literally.’”

The proposed section would span from the I-55 Bridge to the I-40 Bridge.

Posted to Facebook by City of West Memphis

“‘We’re not trying to take the whole river,’” Mayor McClendon said. “’Just the best part.’”

“The rebranding would come with new signage, tourism campaigns, and possibly West Memphis may soon be home to a West Memphis River cruise port! Passengers can board for scenic tours newly renamed West Memphis River, taking in the sights, and sounds of the Delta in style.

”The petition has been submitted to the U.S. Board on Geographic Names and is now in the hands of President Trump. Stay tuned.”

Sauce what?!

Posted to Facebook by Rotolo’s Craft & Crust – East Memphis, TN

“B.Y.O.B 🪣

“What’s the elite pizza dipping sauce? 🍕

Ranch lovers, this is your moment! For ONE DAY ONLY we’re filling up your bucket with our creamy ranch. No limits.”

Elwood’s what?!

“All sandwiches buy one get 3 free. One day April special. Today Only.”

It is, as anybody with a calendar — or a sense of humor — can tell, the first week of April. We should explain on the front end that we went to press on April 1st, and, though the great majority of entries in this issue of the Flyer are

straight as the gate and, in any case, reliable as news and information, we are not above a jest or two in the spirit of April Fool’s Day.

The problem we have discovered, however, is the same one that the illustrious novelist Philip Roth hit upon way back in the 1960s when he realized that his trade — that of writing fiction, and glorious fiction at that — was in danger of becoming obsolete because the nature of “reality” itself had turned so surreal. So it was that Roth noted the expedient of writing satire and essays for a spell. We are, however, grateful that he finally turned back to writing novels, composing in the process several masterpieces or near-masterpieces to go with the rest of his quite considerable canon.

Still, we too, have noticed that the line between truth and fiction has begun to dissolve, as, indeed, so has the boundary between farce and reality. Several instances of the phenomenon have reminded us of those facts this week, and — surprise! — they come from the world of politics.

Nevermind the email that Steve Mulroy, a candidate for county mayor, sent out to the media on Tuesday, claiming to be quitting his campaign for the opportunity to become “regional director of corporate public relations for the Kellogg’s corporation.” Mulroy, for the record, has been actively involved in supporting the locked-out workers of that very corporation, as anybody who has paid attention knows. That did not stop several local media from taking the “release” seriously and checking it out (in one case, actually posting it online) as legitimate news.

It is easy, in a way, to understand their confusion. After all, only last Thursday night, a county Commission candidate, Taylor Berger, presided over a packed and, to the impartial observer, fully successful fund-raiser, climaxing the event with a rousing and positive address. On Monday of this week, however, came a press release from Berger. He was out; personal reasons.

Then there was veteran Democratic operative Del Gill making bold statements recently to publicly advise the NAACP as to how they should construct forums involving political candidates this year: by “separating” candidates from the two parties, he explained, into two discrete groups. Failing that, Gill advised, Democratic candidates might reconsider their participation in the forum. That the venerable NAACP is entitled to present candidate forums however it pleases and candidates, likewise, can make up their own minds about appearing at such events seemed beside the point.

And, finally, there was Judge Joe Brown, the erstwhile Criminal Court judge and TV star, staging a confrontation in Juvenile Court that ended with his temporary arrest and a cameo jail appearance. That was quickly followed by an impromptu “press conference” at which a Brown campaign staffer posed as a reporter and asked several softball questions of the candidate.

Mr. Roth — who has indeed finally retired from writing novels — didn’t know the half of it.