Categories
Opinion

TV Minus Zombies, ESPN, and Food Channel

espn.jpeg

Six months ago I switched to basic cable, the cheapskate option in my AT&T U-verse package. I did it to save a little money, gain a little quality time, and make a symbolic protest against AT&T and ESPN, which I blame for jacking up my monthly bill to $174 and ruining civilization as we know it.

Resolutions are easy in January. Most of the football bowl games I wanted to watch were on broadcast stations ABC, NBC, CBS or FOX. There were Christmas gift DVDs to enjoy instead. Then it got harder. ESPN has fought back against people like me by capturing exclusive rights to more and more events. Here is my report.

Total Savings: The difference between my old 280-channel package and my new 15-channel package is $40 a month, or $240 for six months. The savings should be more than that, but AT&T charges cheapskates and Luddites $15 a month for equipment that is “free” with other packages. Offsetting expenses: Netflix subscription for $7.99 a month, $4 beers at sports bars.

Most Grief Taken: My wife loves the AMC zombie show “The Walking Dead.” She reminds me about once a week. Offsetting factor: The Brad Pitt movie helped, but the zombie appetite is not easily sated. If I break it will be due to zombies.

Second biggest loss: Who knew the Grizzlies would go so far in the Playoffs, and that several of the games would only be on ESPN? Or that Michigan would beat Kansas in a thrilling game on TBS? Offsetting factor: Mooching off neighbors.

Third biggest loss: Watching people cook on “Chopped.” Offsetting factor: Actually cooking.

Other regrets: French Open and Wimbledon early rounds. Offsetting factor: ABC highlights and replays, if you don’t mind knowing Federer and Nadal lost.

Worthwhile discoveries on basic cable stations: None. The major networks are a wasteland and appear to have given up on everything except reality shows and copycat crime shows. Offsetting factor: Black Hawks and Bruins in NHL Playoffs and WKNO documentary on Henry Ford.

Best rented movies I would not have seen otherwise: “Sherlock Holmes” and “In Bruges”.

Worst rented movie I would not have seen otherwise: “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”.

Long books I probably wouldn’t have read otherwise: “Blue Latitudes” by Tony Horwitz and “11/22/63” by Stephen King.

Smug moment: Pointing out newspaper stories about Evil ESPN and viewers cutting cable and asking people “Does Paula Deen have a show?”

Sick moment: ESPN ends sharing agreements with broadcast stations for major events. AT&T comes up with more fees.

Guilty pleasure: Surfing 200 stations while on vacation and watching Paula Deen and Matt Lauer on “Today” on NBC.

Categories
Opinion

How Do You View U-Verse?

ATT-Uverse-logo-2009.png

I had AT&T’s U-Verse installed in my house last week. If that old saying about only using ten percent of your brain is true, then I am probably also only using about ten percent of U-Verse so far, but I don’t have buyer’s remorse either.

AT&T and Comcast seem to be waging a war for dominance of Memphis, or at least the part of Midtown where I live. For months, our mailboxes have been stuffed with three or four mailers a week from each company plugging their bundled service packages of Internet, land line, and television.

Before last week I had AT&T (Bell South) Internet service and land-line service and Comcast cable, for a combined monthly bill, including taxes, of about $125.

In a moment of weakness, curiousity, or longing for wireless, I took a cold call from an AT&T representative pitching U-Verse one evening about a month ago. Some 45 minutes later, I signed up. I was sold by the salesman’s pitch on the benefits and the competitive price of about $125 a month for the first year.

Several months ago we signed up for U-Verse but AT&T’s techs, despite working at our house for half a day, were not able to install it. This time the two technicians finished the job in about five hours. You have to be in the house the whole time. It happened to be my birthday so I was off work, but this was no party. The techs sure earned their money, especially the one who had to crawl into the basement crawl space.

I’m a first-grader when it comes to technology and a cheapskate when it comes to household finance. I asked the tech guys here at the office of Contemporary Media what they thought of U-Verse, and they said, unconditionally, “go for it.”

So far, my wireless connection has been flawless and has allowed me to move my laptop computer from upstairs to downstairs. Speed is noticeably faster, especially on videos, even though I did not order the fastest package. I have not yet figured out how to reconfigure my printer.

As for television, there are now not two but three remotes on my living room table, or four if I misplace the one for the stereo tuner. Of course I get more TV garbage than ever, but it is easy enough to find the 10-20 channels my wife and I watch regularly. We spent a little time last weekend watching the Tennis Channel, which we did not get in our Comcast package. We also watched the “fart mask” segment from Jackass. Yes, we are living on a doomed planet. We don’t have the desire or patience so far to record programs but I suspect we will sooner or later. I like the music channel and played around with it for a while. Surfing one click at a time now wastes even more time than before and leaves me muttering to myself “Get a life.”

Telephone service is the same, except for the pause and hiccup of a few seconds before there is a dial tone. I wonder how many other fogeys can’t give up their land lines.

Canceling Comcast was simple enough. One phone call, no argument, no hassle, no balance due. I got a $50 Visa credit from AT&T, which took about 15 minutes to register and will activate in 30 days.

I guess if I ever sell my house or rent it to boarders I can brag about the “free wireless” like a Hampton Inn. I expect to have to go to the mat with AT&T a year from now over new taxes and higher rates, but that was probably coming anyway with my old combo package.

Any suggestions welcome, but remember, speak slowly and use one syllable words if possible.

Categories
News The Fly-By

Channel Change

Last week, a group of Germantown High School students traveled to Nashville to accept student Emmys in the Arts & Entertainment, News, Sports, and Writing categories, as well as eight honorable mentions.

But the students in charge of GHS-TV were in no mood to celebrate. If the Competitive Cable and Video Services Act (CCVSA) passes in Tennessee, the station will be forced to cease operations.

A state bill filed by AT&T in February would allow cable and video companies to bypass the local franchising process and seek franchising rights at the state level. According to AT&T, the local process makes it difficult for new cable companies to enter the market. AT&T says the changes from the proposed bill would create more competition and thus lower prices and create more options for consumers.

But Germantown mayor Sharon Goldsworthy and the city’s Board of Aldermen disagree.

At a town hall meeting last month, the mayor explained that Germantown’s franchise with Comcast (formerly Time Warner) is non-exclusive, meaning any company is welcome to make an offer. In fact, Goldsworthy said that she has not heard any more proposals from AT&T since an initial version of the bill was filed more than a year ago.

Opponents of CCVSA contend that a local franchise is best suited to the needs of the community and that lower-income areas of Germantown may lose access to channels. They also contend that AT&T would have an advantage at the state level over other companies. But it’s the fine print that’s deadly for GHS-TV.

Germantown charges companies such as Comcast for use of its public right of way, the strip of land between the sidewalk and the street, for underground cables and equipment. Revenue from that fee helps fund the city and public channels such as GHS-TV. If the CCVSA passes as is, revenue from the right-of-way usage fee will decrease and GHS-TV will be forced to make crippling budget cuts.

Additionally, the bill would require local stations to produce eight hours of new programming per day, something GHS-TV founder Frank Bluestein says is far more than what most major cable networks produce. That change alone would spell death for the 25-year-old television network.

Many citizens of Germantown have spoken against the bill, including Germantown High School faculty, Jack Parnell, father of former Saturday Night Live regular Chris Parnell (and a graduate of the GHS-TV program), and a long line of concerned students.

“Students around the world don’t get an opportunity like we do,” said Archie Mitchell, anchor for Wake Up, Germantown! “This [bill] is not going to help our future.”

The Memphis City Council is also considering a resolution opposing the bill.