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Opinion The Last Word

The Rant (May 7, 2015) …

The GOP could open a haberdashery with all the hats that have been thrown into the ring for the 2016 presidential nomination. It looks pretty much the same as the last go-round, minus Mitt Romney and Ron Paul, but plus Rand Paul and Jeb Bush. The list is still in flux, but these are the folks who are most likely to entertain us all summer with their traveling vaudeville debate theater. The reviews for the last troupe were boffo. They brought down the house in every city. So what if that house was in foreclosure? Since there are so many candidates with such wonderful things to say, I thought a guide to the Republican presidential candidates might be useful.

That is, if Obama doesn’t rip up the Constitution, declare martial law, and run for a third term.

So without further delay, the prospective contenders for the office of president are:

Ted Cruz: Texas Senator and morality crusader Philosophy: Whatever Joe McCarthy said. Famous Quote: “I intend to speak in support of defunding Obamacare until I am no longer able to stand.” Spoken prior to an empty Senate chamber recitation of Green Eggs and Ham.

Rand Paul: Senator from Kentucky Philosophy: Neo-Libertarian. “I read all of Ayn Rand’s novels when I was 17.” Famous Quote: “A free society will abide unofficial, private discrimination even when that means allowing hate-filled groups to exclude people based on the color of their skin.”

Ben Carson: Neurosurgeon and narcissist Philosophy: I’m the Bizarro Obama. Famous Quote: “Obamacare is the worst thing that has happened in this nation since slavery.”

Jeb Bush: Former Florida Governor Philosophy: Please don’t blame me for my idiot brother torching the globe. Famous Quote: “Immigrants are more fertile, and they love families.”

Rick Perry: Texas Governor Philosophy: I got glasses this time to make me look smarter. Famous Quote: “Oops.”

Chris Christie: New Jersey Governor and bridge builder Philosophy: Sit down and shut up. Famous Quote: “Sit down and shut up.”

Scott Walker: Wisconsin Governor and union buster Philosophy: Whatever the Koch brothers tell me. Famous Quote: “Let ’em protest all they want. Sooner or later the media stops finding it interesting.”

Marco Rubio: Florida Senator and pitchman for Aquafina Philosophy: I’m really running for vice president. Famous Quote: “I do not believe that human activity is causing these dramatic changes to our climate the way these scientists are portraying it.”

Carly Fiorina: Former CEO of Hewlett-Packard Philosophy: Just because I drove HP into the ground doesn’t mean I can’t be president. Famous Quote: “If Hillary had to face me on the debate stage, at the very least she would have a hitch in her swing.” (I don’t know what it means either.)

Mike Huckabee: Former Arkansas Governor and future pitchman for reverse-loan mortgages Philosophy: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior? Famous Quote: “Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription.”

I suppose you could call the rest fringe candidates, since their views are so radical. Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal said that the GOP “must stop being the stupid party.” Anti-sex advocate Rick Santorum said, “Contraception is not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

These are all worthy topics for future hilarious debates, but for the most eloquent statement of qualifications, you have to give it up to grifter and perennial candidate Donald Trump, who said, “The only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.” In this tabloid culture, what more could you want in a president?

Categories
Letters To The Editor Opinion

What They Said (April 2, 2015) …

Greg Cravens

About the Flyer’s cover story, ”Spring Brews” …

Local craft beer is one of those rare issues that Memphians, regardless of political affiliation, can come together on. Right now, a David-versus-Goliath fight is brewing in Washington between two competing beer bills. The big guys are pushing the Small Brew Act, which essentially benefits four brewers by redefining the “small brewer” as 6 million barrels. On the other side is H.R. 767, the Fair Brewers Excise and Economic Relief (Fair BEER) Act, which cuts the federal excise tax to zero for brewers who produce less than 7,143 barrels.

The Fair BEER Act will help small craft breweries survive and grow and will make it easier for future entrepreneurs to pursue their craft-beer dreams. If you love local beer, then it is time to support your local breweries and encourage Tennessee’s delegation to co-sponsor and support the Fair BEER Act.

Brandon Chase Goldsmith

A terrific piece. Thanks, gang. A whole bunch of new reasons to day drink.

Dave Clancy

About the Flyer’s editorial, “No to Vouchers” …

I hate to keep beating a dead horse here, but people really don’t seem to grasp the point of education in the state of Tennessee. No one is getting properly educated because it costs too much. But that money still has to be spent. Do you really want to give it to all those unionized school teachers so they can teach (destroy the minds of Tennessee youth with) their socialism and evolution theory and feminazi tolerance fascism?

So if you’re not going to actually educate anyone, but you still have to spend the education money, why not give it to your pastor and his private school, or to your friends and retired mayors who are trying to get a piece of that sweet, sweet charter school grift? The money has to be spent. So spend it in the right places, not the wrong places.

That’s the whole point of charter schools and school vouchers. The longer we continue to pretend the voucher proponents and the representatives of charter schools have a legitimate desire to educate the children of Tennessee and that we merely disagree on the best method to accomplish this goal, the quicker they will accomplish their goal of destroying public education altogether. Because that is their goal. Jeff

I don’t know that you will get much agreement that “no one is getting properly educated.” We are sure that a lot of our suburban children are getting educated pretty well. At least standardized testing says so, and they do seem to succeed when they move on to college.

Teachers are not allowed to unionize in Tennessee, either. They can have educational associations, but without the possibility of striking, these are pretty much advisory rather than adversarial relationships with their school boards.

The legislature is determined to fix the educational system in Tennessee. So far, they have tried the ASD which, let’s face it, has produced mixed and uneven results. Charter schools have been tried, with perhaps more success. We shall see as time passes whether the charter school experiment will pan out.

I think the voucher bills in the legislature are headed for passage, and we shall see what comes of it. Proposing an ulterior motive for all these efforts is just wrong. Ill conceived, foolish, wasteful, (add your adjective of choice here), maybe. But an intentional effort to enrich some at the expense of public education? Nah.

Arlington Pop

About Jackson Baker’s Politics column, “Bobby Jindal Talks Tough on Islam” …

After reading this, I have to wonder if Bobby Jindal has ever been to Louisiana.

Autoegocrat

Categories
Politics Politics Feature

Jindal Talks Tough on Islam

One of the problems faced by each of the last two American presidents — George W. Bush and Barack Obama — has been how to discriminate rhetorically between Muslims in general, who constitute 23 percent of the world’s population and encompass many countries that the United States is allied with, and the kind of militant Islamic movement that America has been struggling against on a variety of battlefronts since at least September 11, 2001.

Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, a potential presidential candidate and one of several who are likely to appear in Memphis before the GOP nomination is decided in 2016, was in town on Friday to address local Republicans at a closed “Leadership Event” fund-raiser at the Racquet Club.

He told reporters at a preliminary press conference at the Signature Air terminal that the dilemma was less real than it seemed, and, further, that the Obama administration, in particular, was guilty of mincing words in the struggle against radical Islam.

“You’ve got an administration whose officials, like [Attorney General] Eric Holder, saying things like ‘We’re not in a type of war.’ You’ve got a State Department saying, ‘We’re not going to kill our way to victory,” said Jindal. “This is nonsense. This is ridiculous. These are terrorists who are beheading and killing. … They’re Muslims. They’re not a religious minority. … The reality is that this is an enemy we must defeat. We must hunt them down and kill them.”

Jindal prides himself on being outspoken. He made headlines last week by announcing here and elsewhere that he had asked to sign the famous (or notorious) letter addressed by 47 Republican Senators to the Ayatollah of Iran, cautioning that country’s leader against signing a nuclear-freeze agreement with President Obama.

At his Memphis press conference, he recalled some other recent remarks of his. “I gave a speech in London. I called on Muslim leaders to condemn these men by name, make clear they’re not martyrs. And then finally … here in the West, we need to insist on assimilation. We must teach American exceptionalism in our classrooms.”

Reminded by a questioner that not all Muslims are Jihadists opposed to the West, Jindal seemed to relax his rhetoric a bit before ramping it back up.

“The reality is, I think the vast majority of Muslims don’t agree with the terrorists. … But I do think that Islam has a problem. [Muslims] should not just condemn acts of violence but condemn the individuals who commit these acts of violence.

“They can’t use the freedom we give them to undermine those same freedoms for other people. … If they want to treat women as second-class citizens, they have no room in our country. We shouldn’t allow them here.”

Jindal scoffed at what he saw as the moral relativism of President Obama’s recent comparison of Islamic radicals to Christian fanatics in previous centuries. “You want to talk about the Crusades, you want to talk about medieval Christians, I can deal with them. I’ll keep an eye out for medieval Christians if he’ll keep an eye out for Islamic terrorists, the enemies we face today.”

Jindal himself is of Indian parentage. He was raised a Hindu and at birth bore the name Piyush (pronounced “PEE-yoosh”) Jindal. Asked if he thought he could have been elected in Louisiana with that name rather than “Bobby,” he answered, “Absolutely,” and defended his state’s tolerance of ethnic diversity. “In Louisiana we don’t look at people by the color of their skin or by how they spell their names but by the content of their character.”

The governor drew some chuckles when he explained how he got the name “Bobby.” He described himself as a devotee of television growing up, including programs like The Brady Bunch, The $6 Million Dollar Man, and Gilligan’s Island. He said he identified so much with the youngest Brady family member, Bobby, that he ended up being called that. He added, “It’s a good thing I didn’t identify with Gilligan.”

Jindal explained that when he converted to Christianity and was baptized, he took on the name “Robert” legally. He milked the name game for a few more laughs when he noted that he had an 8-year-old son who had developed a fascination for a product called “Boudreau’s Butt Paste” and had earned the nickname “Boudreau” around the household — something, said Jindal, that might be hard to explain to outsiders.

In the course of his session with reporters, Jindal defended his record as Louisiana governor, acknowledging he had to cope with a serious deficit of $1.6 billion but boasting that he had been able to reduce the state budget and the number of state employees while raising the per capita income average in his state.

The press conference was too brief to allow any discussion of how Jindal dealt in his state with Medicaid expansion under Obamacare, an issue that remains controversial in Tennessee, but, for the record, the Jindal administration has rejected it in Louisiana. Some years ago, when the issue was fresh, Jindal put forth several objections to Medicaid expansion, among them that “we should not move people from private insurance onto government-run programs” and that “we should design our policies so that more people are pulling the cart than riding in the cart.”

Jindal’s views on both health care and foreign policy are significant in that he is known to be considering a race for the presidency. Asked about that at the press conference, the governor gave a stock answer — that he was “thinking about it and praying about it seriously.” He promised to “make that decision in a couple of months.”

At his Memphis press conference, Governor Jindal was flanked by state Republican Chairman Chris Devaney, originally a Chattanoogan, and Shelby County Republican Chairman Justin Joy.

Ironically, neither chair will be holding office for very much longer. Devaney made a surprise announcement this week that he is resigning his chairmanship, effective April 1st, to become executive director of the Children’s Nutrition Program of Haiti, “a faith-based nonprofit” headquartered in Chattanooga.

Joy’s departure was less surprising, in that this coming weekend will see a long-scheduled changing of the guard for both local political parties.

The Shelby County Democrats will hold their biennial convention on Saturday, March 28th, at First Baptist Church Broad, beginning at 10 a.m., with registration of the delegates who were selected from each state House of Representatives district in the party caucuses held at the same venue on March 14th.

Shelby County Republicans will also be choosing a new chair for the next two years. Their convention will be held at 2 p.m. on Sunday, March 29th, in the Bartlett Station Municipal Center banquet hall. The party caucuses, which selected delegates for the convention, were held in the same building last month.

Jackson Baker

Women of Achievement honorees

Honored last Sunday with “Women of Achievement” awards at Holiday Inn University of Memphis were (l to r) Nadia Matthews (Initiative); Amerah Shabazz-Bridges (Courage); Bettye Boone (Vision); Sheila Williams (Determination); Dr. Owen Phillips (Heroism); and Barbara C. King (Steadfastness). This was the 31st year that the awards have been presented. Presiding over the event was Deborah M. Clubb, WA president and Memphis Area Women’s Council coordinator.

Categories
Letter From The Editor Opinion

“I’m Not a Scientist … ”

I was reading a story the other day about the Senate race in Kentucky. That’s the one where Rhodes College grad Alison Lundergan Grimes, a Democrat, is taking on incumbent Republican, Mitch McConnell, the Senate minority leader.

In an interview with the Cincinnati Enquirer, McConnell was asked his views on climate change, and specifically whether he agreed with the overwhelming scientific consensus that it’s real. McConnell went straight to the standard line from the GOP playbook on this issue: “I’m not a scientist,” he said, deflecting the question.

Well, duh. That’s why we have scientists: to tell us the scientific evidence for one thing or another. McConnell is well aware that global climate change is happening. Only a fool could read the hundreds of articles about warmer temperatures world-wide, the loss of our polar ice caps, the rise of sea levels, the increasing power of storms, long-lived droughts, and massive floods, and not conclude that the scientists might be on to something.

But McConnell knows that to admit that he believes in the scientific consensus will lose him votes among know-nothing voters who still see global climate change as a plot for scientists to get grant money. In this Limbaugh-esque worldview, scientists are like welfare queens, gaming the system for profit. McConnell knows that if a large part of your base is ignorant, you’ve got to act ignorant, too, or risk chasing them off. He also needs to keep his big-oil donors happy.

Though I’m not a huge fan of Senator Lamar Alexander, he is at least on record as being sensible on this issue: “Eleven academies in industrialized countries say that climate change is real; humans have caused most of the recent warming,” Alexander said in 2012, adding: “If fire chiefs of the same reputation told me my house was about to burn down, I’d buy some fire insurance.”

Sadly, Alexander is an exception among GOP leaders. Florida’s Governor Rick Scott and Senator Marco Rubio both have repeatedly used the “I’m not a scientist” dodge, as has Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, whose state has already lost 2,000 square miles to rising ocean water. House Majority Leader John Boehner is also “not a scientist.”

The weird thing is that by using this line, these GOP leaders are admitting that scientists know more about, well, science, than they do, but that they’ve decided to ignore the scientific consensus. Imagine extending this “logic” to other areas. It would mean you could have no opinion on anything in which you were not an accredited expert. The economy? Sorry, I’ll leave that to the economists. War in the Middle East? I’m not a general, so I can’t have an opinion. Ebola? I’m no doctor. It’s beyond absurd.

I have a suggestion: The next time you hear one of these clowns use the “I’m not a scientist” line, mentally insert the word “rocket” in front of “scientist.” It makes total sense that way.