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Opinion Viewpoint

Kardashian Politics

There once was an America that cared about great things, important things that affected people’s lives. We once believed that selling arms to a hostile nation so as to funnel money to Central American death squads was at least as important as whether or not a president lied about an affair.

Once upon a time, there had to be some actual wrongdoing before we declared something to be a scandal. Some moral or ethical lapse, some illegal behavior. Maybe even a victim, if it wasn’t asking too much. That was before our taste for scandal grew so insatiable that we started seeing scandals that weren’t even there.

Is it scandalous that Anthony “Carlos Danger” Weiner seems incapable of replying to a text message without sticking the phone in his pants at some point? Yes, by any definition. There are victims of his behavior. Not every woman he has sent pictures to consented to receive them, making him the high-tech version of the creepy guy wearing a trench coat in the park on a warm, sunny day.

The woman in the most recent scandal has said that she always thought of Weiner as one of her heroes. Did this inspire him to redeem himself and become the man, the leader that she deserved? No, he asked if she wanted a picture of his penis. On a side note, I’ve never been so glad not to be on someone’s Christmas card list. I can’t imagine what the holiday tidings would look like.

Mayor Bob Filner of San Diego is a fast worker. Despite only having become mayor in January, he has managed to sexually harass three women to the point that they are suing him, and four more have come forward to say that he harassed them during his tenure in Congress. They tell stories of unwanted advances, involuntary kisses, groped bottoms and breasts. But it’s all okay, because he plans on getting two weeks of therapy — two whole weeks — that he believes will make him a changed man worthy of the office he refuses to resign from.

Filner lives in a fantasy world where women see groping and sexual advances as just a routine day in the office. It’s all in good fun. They come back to work every day not because they need to earn a living but because he’s just such a charming guy. That is a scandal.

No less than Gail Collins of The New York Times dropped the recent events in the life of our own Representative Steve Cohen into her July 20th column about sex scandals, even while admitting it wasn’t much of a scandal.

Here’s the summary of events, in Reader’s Digest form: Cohen’s former girlfriend tells her daughter that Cohen is her biological father. The former girlfriend then tells Cohen the same thing. Cohen bonds with the young woman in question and is “caught” sending her messages from the State of the Union address via Twitter. The man who always believed he was her father does not know about Cohen, so Cohen has to wait a few days to tell the whole story, during which time he is portrayed in the media as a dirty old man, usually while a slideshow of the young woman in a bikini played in the background.

Cohen announces what he believes to be true at the time, that he is her father. The media runs the story. (And reruns the bikini pictures.) A recent DNA test says that he is not the young woman’s father after all. The media runs the story (along with the bikini pictures) again.

If you’re looking for a victim in this and not finding one, you are not alone. A private family drama was unfortunately played out in the public eye. It is not scandalous. It is sad. There is neither victim nor villain nor vice in this story. Collins even points this out in the Times, writing, “Now, Representative Cohen’s constituents in Memphis no doubt had a lot to discuss over the dinner table. Otherwise, their lives went on exactly the same as they did before.”

There is no impropriety, no illegal behavior, and no victim. Which begs the question: Did Collins just add it to pad her word count? Would that this nation had so few real problems and real scandals that a gossip item like the Cohen saga could be worthy of the attention it has already received.

Have we Kardashianed our politics enough for this year?

Rick Maynard is a political consultant and communications specialist.

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Opinion The Last Word

The Rant

In the future, when you google the word “chutzpah,” after the definitions of “unbelievable gall” and “crass, vulgar, nerve,” there will  be a footnote that says, “See Anthony Weiner.” This man defines public humiliation, and yet still he stands, mast to the wind. It’s now public knowledge that JFK had a sexual addiction he satisfied with a variety of young sycophants and prostitutes, but it was kept private in a world of press discretion. If not for the internet, Weiner would be the guy walking around the schoolyard naked but for a raincoat. Kennedy might have been a conscienceless horndog, but Weiner is a pervert.

Hey, kids! Let me give you some advice: Nothing stays private on the web, so unless you’re a twisted exhibitionist or a porn star, don’t take pictures of your genitalia and post them on the internet. And stay away from the creepy man running for mayor of New York City. When news of the former congressman’s serial exhibitionism was revealed, sources claimed Weiner’s pics were posted on a website called TheDirty.com under the name “Carlos Danger.” So just for journalistic integrity, I logged on, so to speak, and sure enough, there was Anthony Weiner, clutching his schvantz. 

I’ll admit to enjoying Weiner’s performances on the House floor, when he was the only Democratic representative besides Alan Grayson who would show genuine indignant wrath at the Republican Party’s iron-curtain legislative strategy, but I had no idea what he was doing back in the cloakroom. The incredible thing is that this man has no shame. So what if he resigned in 2011 over sending inappropriate photos over social media and lying about it? He seems to believe that his talents are so invaluable to the city of New York, his little hobby will be discounted by voters.

More tawdry than Weiner’s online exploits was dragging his wife into this ungodly mess. But Huma Abedin, Weiner’s wife of three years, said she agreed to a joint press conference of her own accord. Abedin, a Hillary Clinton staffer since 1996, said she forgave Weiner his indiscretions and supported his mayoral candidacy.

I wonder what Mrs. Clinton thought about Abedin’s decision to “stand by her man,” since Hillary was confronted with exactly the same circumstance in Bill Clinton’s presidential campaign of 1992. Pundits as varied as Maureen Dowd and Rush Limbaugh have speculated that the two women’s motives for staying with their lying husbands were similar: the desire for fame and power. Although Rush added racistly, “Huma is a Muslim. In that regard, Weiner ought to be able to get away with anything.” Both women’s forgiveness enabled their husbands to continue their aberrant behavior as if they would never get caught — Clinton in the White House and Weiner after he resigned from Congress. And as with Monica Lewinsky, a University of Indiana co-ed with the porn-appropriate name of Sydney Leathers has come forward with sexually explicit text messages and pictures that she exchanged with Weiner last summer. “I thought I loved him,” Leathers said when it was revealed that Weiner offered to buy her a condo in Chicago and get her a job with Politico.

Over the weekend, Weiner’s campaign manager, Danny Kedem, resigned over the latest batch of tasteless texts, but Weiner pledged to remain in the race because “it’s about the middle class.” It’s actually about the no class. “We knew this would be a tough campaign,” explained Señor Danger in one of the understatements of the year. Promising that his twisted tweets were “behind him” somehow oddly made it sound worse. Weiner explained that he returned to his pet perversions “during a rough time in our marriage,” seemingly placing the blame on his spouse for his nasty conduct. But now Abedin is on board as Weiner’s dinghy drops like a stone in the polls.

This walking punch-line of a person may have a strategy. If no one in the mayoral primary gets 40 percent of the vote, a runoff is mandated between the top two candidates. If Weiner continues to stonewall his critics, he stands the chance of getting in the runoff, where he can attempt to distract attention from his penis by attacking his opponent. I don’t believe he’ll last that long. The same massive ego that allowed him to believe that strange women wanted to see pictures of his schlong will carry him until the full weight of public revulsion wears him down.

Also, the longer Huma Abedin supports this fool, the worse it looks for Hillary Clinton, and 2016 is just around the corner. Abedin is supposed to be one of Hillary’s closest advisers. How much can her future advice be valued if she continues to campaign for a pervert for mayor? The stench of Weiner’s preposterous campaign is beginning to infest those around him. Carlos Danger may say he’s in the race to stay, but the one person who could make him drop out in a New York minute is Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Randy Haspel writes the “Born-Again Hippies” blog, where a version of this column first appeared.