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Blister Christian

Several years ago, while cheerfully performing my filial duty, I attended a morning service with my mother at the First Baptist Church in Euless, Texas. It is a monolithic megachurch in the sprawl of Dallas/Ft. Worth and features a replica of Jesus’ tomb — complete with a roll-away stone. At one point during the service, stewards in ornate robes and tall white hats brought out a replica of the Ark of the Covenant. I whispered to my wife, “If the lid falls off that thing, avert your eyes. Bad face-melty things will happen.”

During the sermon of this already memorable church visit, the pastor began talking about his daughter, who had recently started college. After bemoaning the high cost of textbooks, he stated that all college students, or any of us for that matter, need to read one book, and one book only. (I’ll give you a hint: It wasn’t the vegan advice book Skinny Bitch.) I left the church feeling miffed, silently crafting a defense of Western literature. However, there was still a part of me that wanted to peek inside that faux Ark and try to roll the replica stone away.

As I Lay Dying

The Christian church has been aware of the value of entertaining the masses ever since Michelangelo got a crick in his neck painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. It may seem a long way from the art of the High Renaissance to the concussive sounds of Christian metalcore, but the bands of today understand the evangelical value of theater and, more importantly, how to appeal to that most desirable of demographics: the kids. 

Thankfully, two of the more popular Christian metal bands of the moment have not followed the bibliophobic advice of the goodly pastor from Euless. In fact, they’ve both taken their names from works of fiction. Other than cribbing the title from Faulkner, As I Lay Dying seem to have little connection to Yoknapatawpha County. I suppose that it just sounded hard, heavy, and suitably morose. The San Diego quartet’s fourth full-length, An Ocean Between Us, debuted at #8 on the Billboard 200 chart. That’s impressive for any metal band, much less a Christian one. 

Without prior knowledge that As I Lay Dying is a Christian band, it would be difficult to determine their beliefs. The word “Christian” doesn’t appear once on the band’s promotional materials. The closest we get is the fact that “the band always has something thoughtful and positive to say while still playing a combustible, aggressive style of music.” They’ve played the decidedly not-Christian Ozzfest and Sounds of the Underground tours. No offense to vocalist Tim Lambesis, but his indiscernible words could just as easily be espousing a belief in the Baha’i faith. Even the addition of a visual element doesn’t necessarily help clarify As I Lay Dying’s faith. The video for the album’s lead single, “Nothing Left,” features a sci-fi dystopian theme but no overt symbols of Christianity. 

Thank God, then, for printed lyrics in CD booklets. “Nothing Left” contains the lines, “If all my sorrow has led me here/Then I would cry all of my tears/To have this chance again/And know there’s more than this.” It’s a little clearer that As I Lay Dying is talking about the limitations of the material world and Christianity’s promise of a life beyond. If that’s still not overt enough for you, try these lines: “For what use is there in praying/If you only hear what you want to hear?” from “The Sound of the Truth.” The words, though simple, are actually thoughtful and profound, careful to sidestep the pitfall of preachiness. Those who continue to doubt As I Lay Dying’s devotion are directed to the liberal use of the reverentially capitalized second person “You” in the album’s last song, “This Is Who We Are.” 

The music on An Ocean Between Us is leaner and more direct than on previous releases. Gone are the galloping, Maidenesque twin-guitar solos. However, there is a sense of urgency in the new, stripped-down sound. The two guitarists, Nick Hipa and Phil Sgrosso, still get to showcase their chops on occasion. “Forsaken” has a brief, drama-building intro before the pair of ax-men launch into a propulsive riff. Lambesis alternates between singing and growling, with more emphasis on the latter. Those qualities are certainly nothing new in the world of metalcore, but Lambesis does it well and knows when to get out of the way of the rest of the band. 

As I Lay Dying’s motivational lyrics offer a faith-based twist on the positive words found in many emo, screamo, and metalcore songs. It’s easy to see the band’s appeal to kids who feel isolated, as if there were, indeed, “an ocean between” themselves and others. Judging from record sales and all the young folks in As I Lay Dying T-shirts, it seems that they have found a perfect formula of understated Christianity and musical severity. 

The Devil Wears Prada took their name from Lauren Weisberger’s 2003 novel, not necessarily the resulting blockbuster movie. (We can only suppose that another band had dibs on The Nanny Diaries.) Plagues, the band’s second album, comes less than a year after its debut. To be fair, the Devil Wears Prada also had a respectable showing on the Billboard 200 chart, debuting at #58 with Plagues.

The members of the Dayton, Ohio, sextet are barely out of their teens, but they have shown considerable musical growth in the short time between their first and second releases. However, in comparison to As I Lay Dying’s professionalism, the Devil Wears Prada are amateurs. Song structures are random and cobbled together. Chugga-chugga guitar solos get ambushed by James Baney’s epic, swooshing keyboards. Andy Trick’s bass licks trip over themselves. On “Goats on a Boat” and the following songs, the band uses two vocalists to achieve the scary-screaming/anthemic-singing dynamic. Primary lyricist Mike Hranica is the bad cop, and guitarist/vocalist Jeremy DePoyster is the good one. 

The Devil Wears Prada is much more obvious about its Christianity than As I Lay Dying. Apart from the biblical wrath of the album’s title, the band’s Web site and MySpace page are very up front about the band’s beliefs. Hranica has defended the band’s much-derided name by stating that the band rails against the rampant, un-Christian materialism of our culture. Hranica really does have it out for the fashionistas. On “Number Three, Never Forget,” he yells, “You’ve surrendered yourself to fashion/Come back to your faith/Come back to grace.” I hate the thin and rich ones too, but a lot of people deserve Old Testament wrath more than Vogue’s readership. Remind me not to invite the dudes from the Devil Wears Prada over for a Project Runway marathon.

Chalk it up to youth, but the lyrics of “The Scorpion Deathlock” are straight out of Teenage Self-Pity 101. It’s hard to imagine anyone being converted by this lyrical gem: “In this moment I am helpless/Why is it so difficult to see ourselves?/No poem I’ve wrote, nor song I have sung/Can halt the army of wrath.” 

The religious spectacle of these bands may pale when compared to a replica of the Ark of the Covenant, but at least they are promoting literacy, and, no matter what your faith is, that’s a good thing.

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News The Fly-By

Fly on the Wall

Oh My God

It came to pass that St. Matthew took up his gospel pen and wrote of the Lord Jesus, who is called the Christ, and Jesus charged his apostles, “Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me.”

Two thousand years later, someone at Pastor Kenneth Whalum’s New Olivet Baptist Church interpreted this line somewhat differently.

And for our Spanish-speaking friends …

And lo, when the Lord’s best donkey-driver experienced some minor difficulties while parking his furry ride, Jesus blessed him, saying, “Yo, Apostle. Back that ass up.”

Animal Husbandry

It’s good to live in Tennessee, a place where our wise elected officials have crushed poverty under their mighty heels, eradicated all of man’s inhumanities to man, and created an educational system that is the envy of a nation. On Monday, our state senators turned their inerrant attention to the last great ill plaguing the Volunteer State.

Let it be known that the following activities are criminal offenses and punishable to the fullest extent of the law: engaging in sexual conduct or contact with any animal living or dead; aiding or causing another person to engage in such contact; permitting such activity on any premises under his or her control; and photographing or filming, for sexual gratification, a person engaging in sexual activity with an animal.

A fortunate amendment to the bill specifies that the prohibition against sexual activity with an animal applies to “any animal other than man.”

Categories
News The Fly-By

Moral Mystery Revealed

“It ain’t about how hard you hit. It is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward,” says Bellevue Baptist Church pastor Steve Gaines, quoting Rocky Balboa in his Sunday-night sermon.

Gaines tells the packed house that trials and tribulations teach maturity and endurance. Minutes later, the church’s investigative and personnel committees release a report detailing one tribulation that has plagued the church since last December, a decades-old sexual-abuse case involving former staffer Paul Williams and his son.

According to the report, Williams engaged in “perverse, sexual activity with his adolescent son over a period of 12 to 18 months” more than 17 years ago. The report states that Williams, himself a victim of sexual abuse, did not abuse anyone else.

The “moral failure,” as it has been labeled by the church, was first reported to the congregation December 17th, and Gaines initiated an investigation three days later. On January 22nd, Williams was fired from his position, which involved interviewing lay ministry volunteers and planning church events.

A staff member for 33 years, Williams told Gaines about the abuse last June. He also confessed to two other members before telling Gaines. But the abuse was not reported to church members until Williams’ now-adult son confronted Gaines in early December about Williams being allowed to remain on staff.

“We could have learned about this six months ago and headed things off at the pass,” says church member James Manning. “But the church seems to continually demonstrate a lack of willingness for accountability and transparency.”

Sunday night, Gaines admitted responsibility for not dealing with the issue sooner. He labeled the situation “uncharted waters,” claiming no church policies were in place to deal with sexual abuse by a staff member.

According to the report, the Department of Children’s Services (DCS) will be training the church’s human-resources department in how to handle such situations, and human resources will pass that knowledge onto all other staff.

Manning and other church members believe the investigation, which was conducted by church leaders and an attorney, should have been handled differently.

“This was a closed-door investigation, where membership really didn’t know what was going on,” says Manning. “I think the key in dealing with these situations should be transparency.”

David Brown, of the Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) and a former Bellevue member, believes the church should have included an abuse victim on the investigation team. After learning of the abuse on a Bellevue-oriented blog, Brown reported it to the DCS. The agency is now conducting a separate investigation.

In response to the church’s handling of the situation, Manning and

SavingBellevue.com founder Jim Haywood have launched an independent group — Integrity Does Count, Inc. — to “instill accountability” into Bellevue’s church leadership.

“I don’t have my finger on the pulse of 30,000 people,” says Manning, referencing Bellevue’s large membership. “But the people who follow current events in the church are pretty irritated.”