Tag: Dogs

Categories
At Large Opinion

Animal Instincts

Photo: Jarihin | Dreamstime.com

I’ve been sitting on this story for a bit, just waiting for a chance to work it into a column. That time has come, my friends. It’s the tale of one Reginald Cook, 26, who allegedly attempted to rob a Shell convenience store on Elvis Presley Boulevard — three times — on the night of April 14th.

The official Memphis Police Department report states that Cook went into the station around 2 a.m. and demanded money from the clerk. The clerk told police that Cook kept reaching into his clothing, indicating that he had a weapon. The clerk didn’t buy the ruse and told Cook to scram.

A few minutes later, Cook returned, again demanding money and again reaching into his clothes as though he might have a weapon. And again, the clerk was having none of it and told Cook to leave the store. This is where the story takes a turn.

At 3:05 a.m., Cook returned once again to the scene of his Kabuki Krimes. Only this time he had a live, five-foot-long snake wrapped around his neck. Emboldened, he shouted, “Gimme all your money or I’ll unleash my attack snake, you bastard!!!” Or words to that effect, one presumes.

By this time, the clerk was getting boa-ed by the whole thing and pulled out a handgun, taking Cook and his slithery sidekick into custody.

Only in Memphis (or maybe Florida). Seriously, Cook has to be one of the dumbest crooks of all time. Who did he think he was going to fool? Anyone could see that snake was unarmed. Heh.

The cops soon arrived and hauled Cook off to jail, charging him with attempted robbery and a reptile dysfunction. After letting the snake make one phone coil, the police let him slide on his own recognizance, mainly because they were unable to get cuffs on him.

Speaking of dumb crooks and animals … How about South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem, the evil creep who outed herself in her own book last week as a puppy killer. And a goat killer. And god knows what else, at this point.

Noem’s book — No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward — will be published next month, but Guardian.com obtained an advance copy and revealed the literal money shot: Noem shot and killed her 14-month-old dog, Cricket, because she was “untrainable.”

In her book, Noem describes taking Cricket, a wirehaired pointer, on a pheasant hunt with older dogs, hoping they would calm the young dog down. It didn’t work. Noem writes that Cricket was “going out of her mind with excitement, chasing all those birds and having the time of her life” and “ruining the hunt.” Little did Cricket know it would be the last “time of her life.”

On the way home, Noem writes that she stopped at a farm and Cricket got out of her truck and killed some of the farmer’s chickens. Noem writes that Cricket was “the picture of pure joy” during her spree. “I hated that dog,” Noem says, adding that Cricket had proved herself “untrainable” and “less than worthless … as a hunting dog.” So, when Noem got home, she led the unsuspecting (and probably still joyful) Cricket to a gravel pit and shot her. As one does, apparently, when one is a “farmer” from South Dakota. Or Hell.

Then, since Kristi was already in a killin’ state of mind, she went and got a goat that “smelled of urine” and had “knocked her kids down and ruined their clothes,” and executed it, as well. She had to go back to her truck and get another shell, she writes, since she only wounded the goat with the first shot.

Noem is angling to be Donald Trump’s running mate. She’s fond of posting pictures of herself with dead animals: bears, elk, deer, pheasant. I doubt that she posed with her dead pup but I wouldn’t be shocked. Noem says that she included the animal assassination story in her book to show her willingness to do “anything difficult, messy, and ugly” if it needs to be done. So far, she’s had plastic surgery, dental implants, and an affair with former Trump operative Corey Lewandowski, so she’s three-for-three. Kristi Noem is scum.

Categories
News The Fly-By

MEMernet: Dog Duets, Happy Birthday!, and Best of Memphis

Posted to Facebook by Opera Memphis

Memphis on the internet.

Dog Duets!

Opera Memphis continued its 30 Days of Opera series last week with some special guests. Singers duetted with some of the dogs at Memphis Animal Services.

Happy birthday!

Posted to YouTube by ABC24 Memphis

Sea Isle neighbors cheekily celebrated the birthday of a pothole on Dee Road last week.

Stories from ABC24 and Action News 5 apparently roused city leaders to action. After the broadcasts, maintenance crews threw away the balloons and other decorations and covered the hole with a metal slab.

Best Of Memphis?

Posted to Instagram by Memphis Flyer

Memphis Reddit users had opinions about our annual Best of Memphis campaign last week. The thread was rife with talk of shady business dealings, voting conspiracies, and disagreements about winners. It’s an annual reminder that people really do care about burgers, tacos, coffee shops, and more.

Our Best of Memphis party was a magical night in the Ravine last week. Check out party pics from the event and more in this issue.

Categories
At Large Opinion

A Digression

This layabout lacks ambition. (Photo: Bruce VanWyngarden)

I have been living by myself for the past week or so. My wife went to a legal convention in Minneapolis, and then went to visit our grandchildren in New York. In the old days, I would have said I’ve been “batching it,” meaning I’m living like a bachelor. But now, as I type it, I don’t understand why there’s a “t” in “batching.” Or is there? If I weren’t temporarily living alone, I’d ask my wife. She probably wouldn’t know, but she’d have an opinion, and that’s all you can really ask for in a relationship.

And now I’m reminded of the phrase, “confirmed bachelor,” which those of you of a certain age will remember. My favorite uncle was a confirmed bachelor. He lived for 30 years or so with his friend Richard, who was also a confirmed bachelor. That was some seriously confirmed batching it. My father always said he wished his brother would find a “nice gal” and settle down. I never knew if he was really that clueless or just trying to hide the truth from his children.

Anyway, I digress. But, to be honest, this column is beginning to look like a string of digressions in search of a point. I hope you’ll bear with me. I’m on my own here. Except for my dogs, who are both lying on the floor in my office. Their lack of ambition is appalling.

Sorry, another digression. My bad. I will find a point. I promise.

So, I read this week about the Sentinelese Tribe, who for 50,000 years have lived on one of the Andaman Islands in the Indian Ocean. They are the most isolated group of people in the world. They violently reject all visitors, firing arrows and slinging spears at any who dare approach their beaches. They killed the last person who tried to land, in 2018. It is thought that they are so violent against visitors because whenever an outsider has made contact in the past, the tribe was exposed to diseases that wiped out large segments of the population. After decades of various attempts at contacting them, the government of India has determined that no further attempts shall be made to communicate with the Sentinelese and that they should be left alone. Like me. So I can finish this column.

A friend recently sent me a video of a compelling commencement speech at Northwestern University by Illinois Governor JB Pritzker. It addressed the subject of kindness: “When we encounter someone who doesn’t look, live, love, or act like us,” he said, “our first thought is rooted in fear or judgment. It’s an evolutionary response. We survived as a species by being suspicious of things that we aren’t familiar with.”

The governor went on: “In order to be kind, we have to shut down that animal instinct, that fear, and force our brain to travel a different pathway. Empathy and compassion are evolved states of being that require the mental capacity to step past our basic instincts. … When someone’s path through this world is marked by acts of cruelty, they have failed the first test of an advanced society. They never forced their animal brain to evolve past its first instinct.”

I disagree somewhat with the governor on this latter point. Yes, there’s an instinctual cruelty that comes from fear — like that of the Sentinelese — but there is also rampant in our society — and our politics — an intentional cruelty that uses weak and disadvantaged people for personal gain, that weaponizes the fear in others, that mocks their disabilities, body shape, and speech, that demonizes skin color, religion, gender, and sexuality, not because of some primordial fear, but for selfish ambition.

Governor Pritzker ended his speech by saying that in his experience, “the smartest person in the room was often also the kindest.” In my experience, the reverse is also true. Dumbasses are often mean. Avoid them. Don’t vote for them.

So, all of this digression needs a finish. Maybe this quote from Kurt Vonnegut will work: “And how should we behave during this Apocalypse? We should be unusually kind to one another, certainly. … Jokes help. And get a dog, if you don’t already have one.” Or two. At least. You’ll never be alone. Or cruel.

Categories
Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 07/13/23

Some Things Beg Certainty

Relatives were mourning Bella Montoya, 76, at her wake in Ecuador on June 9 when they heard strange sounds coming from the coffin. “There were about 20 of us there,” the woman’s son Gilberto Barbera said. “After about five hours of the wake, the coffin started to make sounds.” The supposedly deceased had been declared dead in the Martin Icaza Hospital in Babahoyo earlier that day, but that evening, “my mom was wrapped in sheets and hitting the coffin, and when we approached we could see that she was breathing heavily,” Barbera said. Montoya was rushed back to the hospital, but the Associated Press reported that she was intubated and was not expected to recover. Ecuador’s Health Ministry launched an investigation into the incident. [AP, 6/12/2023]

A Bear’s Gotta Eat

Workers for American Plate Glass in Sunapee, New Hampshire, learned an important lesson about locking up their valuables on June 14, but it wasn’t at the hands of the typical thief, and the valuables weren’t the usual tools or construction materials. Curtis Fidler was working on-site when he noticed movement in his peripheral vision: “I turn and it was a bear nonchalantly just having lunch in the front seat of the truck.” The bear enjoyed all of the snacks it could find, left the truck, and disappeared into the woods. Fidler FaceTimed his mother-in-law Melinda Scott, who watched the encounter live and later told WHDH-7 News that “[t]here is not a single scratch on the box truck. He did no damage. He just had lunch and took a nap.” [WHDH-7, 6/15/2023]

The Agony of the Heat

The hopes of Hong Kong residents were slightly deflated on June 9, as a long-awaited art installation in Victoria Harbour lost steam. Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman’s giant rubber ducky installation, which tours cities around the world and captured the affections of Bangkok residents when it visited there back in 2013, returned to the city last month, this time with two giant rubber duckies, which the artist said would bring “double luck.” Unfortunately, Yahoo News reported that rising temperatures put one ducky — and residents — at risk. The “rubber duck skin had become strained because the hot weather has caused air pressure to rise,” organizers said in a statement. They deflated the duck as a precaution. [Yahoo News, 6/3/2023]

Two Paws Up, Way Up

Theatergoers in Thailand have a new pet-friendly place to bring their furry friends. Yahoo News reported that the country’s largest movie theater chain, Major Cineplex Group, started offering weekend showtimes for patrons who want to bring Fluffy or Fido with them. Of course, there’s a catch: Pets must weigh under 11 pounds and either wear a diaper or be kept in a carrier. Visitors turned out in droves for a pets-welcome showing of The Little Mermaid, cosplaying their creature companions as Sebastian the crab and Ariel the mermaid. Not everyone’s a fan, however; as one former resident said, “It’s so ridiculous dogs are not allowed in [most Bangkok] parks but they can go to a movie or cafe. What comes next, you bring your dog or cat to a massage parlor?” [Yahoo News, 6/10/2023]

I Hope That Someone Gets My …

Almost exactly 34 years after it was thrown into the sea in Newfoundland, a message in a bottle was recovered in Quebec. “I was so excited. I mean, what I’m looking for all the time is a note in a bottle,” Trudy Shattler told SaltWire of her discovery. After some social media sleuthing, she learned that the bottle belonged to one Gilbert Hamlyn, who was known for writing messages on cigarette packs, stuffing them in bottles, and setting them to sea. Sadly, Hamlyn passed away two years ago, but his son Rick was all too happy to hear of the bottle’s recovery, and intends to place it at his father’s grave. [SaltWire, 6/13/2023]

Money Movers

Police in Clintonville, Ohio, are on the hunt after brazen thieves used a U-Haul truck to rip a safe out of a drive-thru ATM in the early hours of June 15. WCMH-TV reported that the suspects used a chain secured to the truck to pull the safe free of the machine, then absconded in a getaway vehicle, leaving the U-Haul behind. Authorities had no description of the other vehicle or how much money the thieves stole, but they believe at least two suspects were involved. [WCMH-TV, 6/15/2023]

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
News The Fly-By

MEMernet: Mass Band, To the Dogs, and the Skull

(Posted to YouTube by Smash Time Productions)

Mass Band

Do not sleep on the Memphis Mass Band and its Memphis Blue Heat dancers. The band brings young people and professionals together to showcase their skills and develop their talents. 

The group recently competed at the Mayhem in the MECCA event in New Orleans. Check out the video if you’re a bandhead or just want to see another way Memphis is represented out in the world.

(Posted to Reddit by u/Professional-Ad4061)

To the Dogs

We can’t resist a cool dog photo, especially this one. The Harbor Town environs prompted one to comment, “We get it, you’re rich.” To which the OP responded, “I’m a dog sitter. So no.” 

(Posted to YouTube by Unnameable Media)

The Skull

Thinking of the Pyramid seen above, another Reddit user asked the real question last week in a post titled “Monkey Skull in the Pyramid.” 

“Alright, which one of y’all messed with the monkey skull?” asked u/Brocboy. “I don’t care about names, just put it back. This weather is insane.”

Now is a good time to find our May 2021 story (in “The ?s Issue”) on the skull, which was real but crystal, not a monkey. Ours is the realest, weirdest, fullest version of the skull story ever done. 

It’s also a good time to watch Alex Jones’ insane InfoWars video about the Pyramid. Go for the skull curse story. Stay for the demon monkeys.

Categories
At Large Opinion

Wink: A Dog’s Tale

Wink (Photo: Bruce VanWyngarden)

A couple weeks ago, on a day when the temperature was in the low 20s, I decided to take my dogs on a walk at Overton Park. They were acting antsy and I figured I could handle the cold for a half-hour or so.

We usually hit the Overton Bark dog enclosure first, so my dogs can get their ya-yas out with other dogs before walking the trails. On this cold day, however, there was only one dog there — a shivering white pup with no collar or tags. She was standing on an icy patch of ground and her eyes were wide and fearful. An older couple walked by in thick parkas and said, “That dog’s been here for a while. Do you think her owner’s taking a walk?”

No, I thought. I think some asshole dumped this innocent pup at a dog park on a freezing winter day, hoping someone would rescue her. I took my dogs for a walk, resolving that if the pup was still there when we got back, it was my karma to save her.

A half-hour later, as I put her in the back of my car, there was a little grumbling from my two, but nothing serious. The pup looked like a pitbull mix, female, and sported one sassy eye that looked like it had been made-up by RuPaul. She was rib-skinny but affectionate and trusting. When we got home, I put food in a bowl for her. She inhaled it like oxygen, then lay down on a dog bed and slept for four hours without moving, recovering from the cold, exhaustion, and whatever she’d been through on the streets of Memphis.

I named her Wink because of that eye, and I called my daughter Mary, who works with Blues City Animal Rescue. She’s a pro at this stuff. We put out some feelers on social media and, after a couple of days, found a foster home for Wink. But it didn’t work out, so I got Wink back a day later. To be honest, I was becoming fond of her. She was gentle, non-aggressive, high-spirited, and didn’t run to the door and bark every time a delivery person came onto the porch — like my two idiots do six times a day. She was also a great TV-cuddler and would sleep through anything once she conked out.

There were a few suitors. One young couple brought their dog, but it didn’t like Wink. Another guy said he’d get back to me. Another had a family emergency. These things take time, Mary said.

My wife and I noticed that Wink was very independent. She’d snuggle, loved to play and fetch, but wouldn’t come when called. She was quirky. Something seemed off.

The next night, it clicked. I was prepping the dog bowls in the kitchen, my two hounds at my feet, excited, waiting for the nightly miracle. Wink was in the next room, snoring in a chair. When the bowls were ready, I hollered at her. No response. I whistled. I walked over to her and clapped my hands over her head. No response.

Wink was deaf as a stone.

Everything suddenly made sense: the deep sleeps (she was basically in a sensory-deprivation tank); the lack of response to sweet-talk or calls to “come” or attempts to give her a name. How this deaf dog survived out on the streets, I have no idea. How she survived and retained such a loving nature toward humans and other dogs is nothing short of a miracle.

In a couple of days, she began to respond to hand signals. I’ve ordered a sub-sonic whistle, in hopes she’ll be able to hear it. Wink is going to make it. She’s going to find her true home. We’re patient, and she’s a survivor. You heard it here first.

Email me if interested: brucev@memphisflyer.com.

Categories
News News Blog

Four Locals Look to Make Pawsitive Impact at Puppy Bowl XVII

CREDIT: Charlie's Crusaders Pet Rescue

On Sunday, February 7th, four local competitors will line up on one of the grandest stages to compete for one of the biggest prizes of them all.

Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue

(l to r) Puppy Bowl competitors Pluto, Vinnie, Tank, and Jiffy

That’s right; Memphis will be represented by some talented and furry friends aiming to emerge victorious in this year’s Puppy Bowl XVII. Jiffy, Vinnie, Pluto, and Tank of Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue will go paw-to-paw with other dogs from animal shelters around the nation for a chance to lift the CHEWY “Lombarky” trophy.

Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue squad will see its representatives lining up for two separate Puppy Bowl teams. Jiffy will suit up for Team Fluff, while Vinnie, Pluto, and Tank will compete for Team Ruff. Tank will also be repping Memphis in the PUP-ularity contest, and is counting on some Bluff City support to do his hometown proud.

Every year, the Puppy Bowl brings together canine competitors to celebrate adoptable pups and showcase rescues, shelters, and the staffers who dedicate their lives to helping animals find homes. So far, the Bowl has a winning record in its previous 16 iterations, with 100 percent of featured puppies (and halftime show kittens) having been adopted.

This year’s three-hour event will air on the Discovery+ streaming service, and Animal Planet, at 1 p.m. Central. Puppy Bowl XVII will see some changes to the format with the inclusion of special “Adoptable Pup” segments (hosted by rufferee Dan Schachner, overseeing his 10th consecutive Bowl), spotlighting available pups from 11 shelters around the country.

More information about participating shelters, rescues, and organizations can be found on the Puppy Bowl website.

Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue has been operating out of Germantown and North Mississippi for a little over four years, and so far has placed more than 1,000 dogs into forever homes.

Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue

Tank

Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue

Vinnie

Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue

Jiffy

Charlie’s Crusaders Pet Rescue

Pluto

Categories
Opinion The Last Word

I Want to See Your Dog!

CREDIT: Shara Clark

“Y’all still baking bread or are we all just sad now?”

I saw this on a meme recently. It was actually a screenshot of a tweet, but anyhow, the sentiment resonated with me. I spent much of March and April baking — not bread, but cookies, coffee cakes, bundt cakes, brownies, muffins, all from scratch. Food is a major serotonin stimulator for me, and the process of measuring, mixing, following the recipe instructions to a T (should the butter be cold or room-temp?) helped occupy my time and brain space, to quell the ever-present anxiety of current conditions. I guess I got bored with baking. There hasn’t been a homemade cake in my house in months. Now I’ve got a pretty heavy case of the sads. And social media surely doesn’t help.

I get it. Everything is terrible. And I’m constantly reminded every time I log on to Facebook. Coronavirus has gotten out of hand. Our “leaders” can’t get their shit together and lead. Sex trafficking is a very real problem. Pedophilia is absolutely sick. Black lives do matter. The state of our nation is downright embarrassing. I think we can agree on all of this.

Since we’re not baking anymore, can I make a suggestion? Could you post more photos of your dog? Even though I’m not really a cat person, let me see them, too.

Shara Clark

Doogie

Shara Clark

Steve

Shara Clark

Frances

At the end of most work days, I settle in — wrapped in soft blankets like a burrito to soothe me from all the insanity of recent months — and scroll through social media. I totally understand that many of you want to bring awareness to all that’s wrong with the world: bad people, dumb decisions, morons, and injustices. And that is well within your rights. Keep fighting the good fight!

But for the love of 8-pound, 6-ounce, newborn infant Jesus, can I see more photos of your pets? The fuzzy, cuddly puppers. The feisty little kitties. Hell, show me your guinea pig. And, brace yourselves: (I never thought I’d say this, but) what did you eat for dinner? Let me see that fancy plate of grilled salmon and risotto! I’m actually to the point of missing daily “here’s something I ate” pics. Tell me about your meal prepping. Give me the recipe for mawmaw’s chocolate pie, dangit!

Share those funny “everything is cake” videos. Or the ones of parrots dancing to MC Hammer. Don’t we need a small break from all this gloom and serious stuff? Fight the sadness, Artax! Yes, I saw that Poppy doll has a button on her behind. I saw that employees at retail outlets across the nation have been assaulted by anti-maskers. I’ve seen protesters being gassed and arrested. I’ve seen the Epstein flight logs. Things are horrible. It seems we’re in a sinking boat on a raging, endless sea. It’s enough to drive a person mad. Have you all gone mad yet?

I could disconnect from social media to avoid much of this, to be sure. But I do remember a time when my Facebook feed was mostly good news, family portraits, food, and pets — the more social side of social media. The “snooze” option works well to get the constant dose-of-doomed-reality posters off your page for a while (bless them; they’re just standing up for what they believe in), and I’ve taken advantage of that. My newsfeed without that stuff is still sad, though. There’s not enough fluff, literally and metaphorically. And I think we could all use a little more fluff right now.

Start baking bread again. Tell me what you’ve learned. How’s that art project going? Are you making music? Have you had any epiphanies? What are your pets’ names, ages, and favorite toys? Lemme see ’em! Show them to me!

The thing about dogs is, for one, they don’t have social media, and they can’t comprehend pandemics, politics … they just want to be fed and loved. Me too, little buddies, me too. Now if you’d all be so kind, provide a little soul food and love to your Facebook friends or Instagram followers. Share the bright spots in your world — they’re there, even if you don’t see them right away. Look harder.

And you can send your dog pics directly to my email inbox.

Shara Clark is managing editor of the Flyer.

Categories
News News Blog

Memphis Ranked on Dog Parks

CREDIT: Justin Fox Burks

Justin Fox Burks

Memphis lands on a lot of rando lists.

Best bluff cities. Best ursine sports mascots. Most-affordable alternative weekly newspapers. (These are fake, people.)

And lots of those lists come from really rando sources. UrbanYurt.com. LendingClownPenguin.org. The Hotdog-Is-Not-A-Sandwich Foundation. (These are also fake, people.)

But when the Trust for Public Land (TPL) talks dog parks? Sounds legit.

That San Francisco-based group is filled with experts on city parks. It issues a report each year that ranks the largest cities, “centered around our vision that everyone deserves to live within a 10-minute walk of a quality park.”

TPL said Thursday that Memphis ranks 72nd out of the nation’s biggest 100 cities for dog parks. The group divided the city’s population of 662,038 among its four dog parks and found there were .6 dog parks for every 100,000 people. Corpus Christi, Anaheim, and Jacksonville had the same number per capita but were ranked lower then Memphis.

[pullquote-1]

“Dog parks are built for dogs, but are fantastic resources for people,” said Diane Regas, president and CEO of the TPL. “As anyone who has chatted with a neighbor while taking their four-legged friend to the dog park knows, community is created there. Having places to meet our neighbors can help us find common ground and encourages everyone to get outside.”

America’s 100 largest cities have 810 off-leash dog parks, according to TPL New York has the most dog parks (145).

But here are TPL’s top cities for dog parks:

1. Boise, Idaho, with 13 total dog parks, or 5.7 per 100,000 residents.
2. Portland, Oregon, with 35 total dog parks, or 5.4 per 100,000 residents.
3. Henderson, Nevada, with 15 total dog parks, or 5.0 per 100,000 residents.

Other cities in the top 10 include Norfolk, Virginia (4th place); San Francisco, California, and Tampa, Florida (tied for 5th place); Las Vegas; Nevada, and Madison, Wisconsin (tied for 7th place); Oakland, California (9th place); and Arlington, Virginia (10th place).

See the full list for yourself here:

[pdf-1]

Categories
Opinion

About You and Your Dog

Dog-Poop-You-Scoop-Sign-S-5615.gif

Mr. Cranky has really stepped in it this time. Not bike lanes or old buildings or racial politics. I am talking about dog shit, and I don’t mean s***, doo-doo, poop, excrement, or mess. The right word matters sometimes.

The scene of the crime was the Overton Park playing field, which has over the years become an unofficial dog park. I was walking toward Rainbow Lake when I got distracted by — what else? — a dog running toward me, stepped carelessly, and, bingo.

This is not the crime of the century. That would be when your dog shits in my yard and you don’t clean it up. And I admit I once owned large dogs that ran free when they escaped or I let them off the leash.

But times change. We used to have unprotected sex with strangers, smoke unfiltered Camels in indoor public places, drive without seatbelts, and double-size our fries.

WE ARE LIVING IN A CIVILIZATION HERE PEOPLE!!!!!!

Dog parks like the ones at Shelby Farms and behind the board of education are wonderful things. So are bags and the stations that provide them in places like the Bluffwalk and Greenbelt Park, although plastic bags do present another set of problems. Otherwise public playing fields like the one at Overton Park become practically useless for Ultimate, catch, flag football, or walking unless you don’t mind close encounters with dog shit.

So clean up. Don’t shout “it’s ok, he’s friendly” or “Gee, he’s never been a fighter/biter before” or pretend you didn’t see it. Walk over and bag it. Or go to a dog park. Which the Overton Park Conservancy should put on its “to do” list.

I feel better now, and am going to clean my shoe.