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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis Is My Boyfriend: Enjoying the Mortgage

We are a family that absolutely loves Memphis! But sometimes, it’s best to enjoy our mortgage. I know that might sound a bit unusual, but it’s really quite straightforward. “Enjoying your mortgage” is just a Gen Alpha way of saying “appreciate your space” and embrace the joys of home.

This particular weekend, I woke up early, lit some soothing incense, opened the blinds, and poured myself a steaming cup of black coffee with a touch of honey. I cherished the peaceful moments before the kids woke up and my husband returned from his 16-mile run. But with kids aged 11, 12, 12, and 16, that quiet wouldn’t last long!

Photo: Patricia Lockhart

Laundry Day

Like most families, Saturdays are often reserved for chores (thankfully, now without the scent of bleach and old-school music blaring from ancient speakers). Each tween and teenager is responsible for tidying their own space, catching up on chores, and tackling laundry. And oh, laundry— what a beast it can be! Our kids have been doing their own laundry for the past three years, but we’re still very much in the learning phase. 

As adults, we might think laundry is simple, but just ask a tween or teenager, and you’ll hear a different story. “How many clothes make a full load?” “Do I really have to separate my whites from my colors?” “What temperature should the water be?” “Do detergent sheets work better than liquid?”

Honestly, those questions are valid! I stick to the basics: fill the machine two-thirds full and don’t forget the detergent. While washing and drying are straightforward, the real challenge is folding and hanging everything up. My husband enjoys putting on a good show and folding clothes until his heart’s content. Me? I’m more of a laundry mole, diving into the basket each morning to iron what’s needed. But with my husband’s high standards, the kids and I engage in a productive struggle every Saturday.

Grocery Shopping

Once the laundry is in a steady rhythm — wash, dry, fold/hang, and repeat six times — it’s time to tackle grocery shopping. In our family of six, everyone gets a night to cook dinner each week. On Fridays, we either cook together or indulge in oven pizza. To kick things off, we project our computer screen onto the TV so everyone can see the plan. With a grocery budget of $200 a week, we aim to make the most of it, enjoying a little bit of everything. We start by sharing our dinner ideas, keeping everyone’s preferences in mind. My 16-year-old has been a vegetarian since he was 6, while the younger twin prefers meat in every meal. Our 11-year-old isn’t fond of cheesy dishes, and I’m lactose intolerant. Thankfully, my husband and the oldest twin are pretty flexible with their choices. Next, we take turns adding ingredients to the Kroger Pickup list, ensuring we check what we already have on hand. At least once a month, we do a grocery inventory, which usually uncovers forgotten treasures like dried beans and random cans of tomato sauce. After finalizing our dinner items, we move on to breakfast and then lunch. If there’s any budget left, we treat ourselves to snacks, though that’s usually a rare delight!

Chilling Together

As adults, it’s easy for weekends to morph into extended workdays filled with tasks we didn’t have time for during our regular work hours. I want to teach my kids the importance of finding a healthy balance — not just by telling them, but by showing them. Chores can demonstrate appreciation for our space and future selves, but they aren’t the only way we enjoy our mortgage. Here are some fun activities we love to do together while “enjoying our mortgage”:

• Napping

• Playing video games

• Watching TV

• Baking delicious treats

• Playing library with my books (just me)

• Gardening and reviving my plants

• Building forts in the living room

• Movie marathon nights

• Doing absolutely nothing together

One twin typically engages in a social-battery recharge. Being at school all week takes a lot out of him, so he’ll often keep to himself most of the weekend. My daughter, on the other hand, is a social butterfly. She wants someone to enjoy all of her “chilling activities” with. My oldest bounces between baking and getting ahead of his studies. The other twin plays hard all day. As for me, I sit quietly with one child, do an activity with another, bounce ideas with the eldest, and play with the other twin. Sometimes I do none of the above and don’t feel guilty about it.

So enjoy your mortgage or rent, Memphis! Seek out activities with your tweens and teens that bring you closer together, foster relaxation, and spark creativity. Or recharge your own battery. 

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep. @memphisismyboyfriend