Categories
Food & Drink Hungry Memphis

Meal Deals for Father’s Day

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Who’s your daddy? Does he like steak? Well, the man’s gotta eat …  

Here are some of the things going on for this Father’s Day. 

• On Sunday, June 19th, eighty3 is having a Father’s Day special with New York strip steak and grilled asparagus and mashed potatoes ($42)

• bleu is having a two-day Steak, Suds & Spuds special, Friday and Saturday, 5-10 p.m. Includes a number of different steak options (plus lamb and a pork chop!), beers, and potatoes prepared in a variety of ways. 

Owen Brennan’s is having a special Sunday Father’s Day Brunch, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. with plenty of fresh seafood, Cajun options, and lots to drink, plus the usual buffet fare ($44, $18 for kids 6-10). 

• Dad who dine at Corky’s Friday, Saturday, or Sunday can get a copy of the Cookin’ with Corky’s cookbook, with the purchase of two entrees. The offer must be claimed though Corky’s Facebook page

• Also, Hickory Tavern is doing a “King of the Day” deal on Sunday with steak, baked potato, salad, and cheesecake for $25.50. And, at Shoney’s, Dads get a free slice of pecan pie, and all dads love pie — that’s a real-true fact. 

Categories
News The Fly-By

A Father’s Day Lament

Our eyes met for only a second or two. Throughout the court hearing, I had stared at 15-year-old Jonathan Ray. I wanted to get a sense of what he was thinking. Like most news reporters, I have a fascination with the criminal mind. But, with this African-American teenager, it was more like: What if it had been one of my sons who was doomed to decades in prison for the heinous crime of murdering his mother and setting fire to their home to cover up the dastardly act?

Could it somehow have been avoided? Could someone have sensed his silent pain and the depressive state that led up to the moment when he decided to take the life of the one person whose only apparent fault was her unconditional love for him?

Don’t get me wrong. Whether in the spur of the moment or intentionally planned, Ray consciously made the decision to become a killer. We, as a society, and through us, our judicial system, shouldn’t mollycoddle such people. Ray is the latest example of the legal conundrum: What is the right thing to do when “tweeners” — adolescents — who commit brutal crimes come before the bar of justice?

The day before I covered Ray’s trial, I’d done a story on an event called the International Fatherhood Conference. It was a three-day workshop aimed at bringing together fathers, predominately African American, to exchange views and techniques on assuming leadership roles in their own households. Presented by a “think tank” that had done years of study on the subject, there were plenty of statistics on how the absence of a father figure in the home has a detrimental effect on children: They don’t do well in school. They often run away. The male children tend to go toward fathering out-of-wedlock babies. The girls gravitate toward being “baby factories.”

I kept thinking, tell me something I don’t already know. The thing I found curious about the scheduling of the seminars and workshops was that nearly all of them took place during the day. If you’re a hard-working father, when would you have time to come to such an event? Besides, those who desperately need this kind of manly therapy in Memphis aren’t going to get anywhere near the East Memphis hotel where it was held. It reminded me of what my grandfather once lamented: “Do-gooders often drink the mother’s milk of fools.”

These two seemingly disparate stories have been gnawing at me as we approach another Father’s Day. With all due respect to the fine folks who put on that conference, as a father, I didn’t need somebody to tell me how I needed to assume a leadership role with my children. That is a given. If you’re man enough to have them, then you should be man enough to take care of them. That applies as well to the children you might inherit if you marry into an existing family. My biological father died of tuberculosis when I was 2 years old. My mother married my stepdad when my brother Larry and I were 4 and 5, respectively. He never made us feel anything less than his children, even though three other sons would follow. My mother was a strong woman. But there was never any doubt who the “leader” of our family was, like it or not.

That’s what made the testimony given at Ray’s court hearing so soul-wrenching for me. James Wallace, Ray’s stepfather, who married the victim, Gwendolyn Wallace, when Ray was 9, said under cross-examination by Ray’s defense team that he clearly remembered someone had read his then 14-year-old son his Miranda rights before he was grilled for hours without a bathroom break by criminal investigators. However, four hours of videotape dispelled Wallace’s testimony. No one read the teen his rights.

One of the investigators admitted to lying to the boy about evidence authorities didn’t even have in order to wrangle a confession out of him. Wallace admitted he was in a room adjacent to where the interrogation was taking place and watched it all without any interference. Where was Ray’s biological father during all this? He was nowhere to be seen; he lives in Detroit.

All of this made those brief seconds of eye contact with Jonathan Ray all the more sad. Yes, he’s been sentenced to 25 years in prison. Yes, he is a convicted killer. But he is somebody’s son, too.

Categories
From My Seat Sports

A Checkpoint for Dad

A man becomes a father in the delivery room, and few moments in life present so many questions, profound observations, and new instructions at once. But they don’t warn you about broken noses in the delivery room. And they sure don’t prepare you for the travails of hitting from your weak side.

Father’s Day has been my favorite holiday for 16 years now. I appreciated this particular June Sunday as I grew into adulthood, my own dad being a primary standard for the right way to live and the importance of a father actually performing that role, day in and day out, one year after the other. It wasn’t until I became a father myself, though, that the holiday became an annual gift, one that had nothing to do with boxes in wrapping paper or even a trip to the ballpark. Father’s Day has become my annual checkpoint, a midyear day to remind myself how very good life has been to me, largely because of the two daughters who grow in beauty every 12 months and, not incidentally, their mother who first defined the quality for me.

The checkpoint always presents surprises. An evaluation of a year in my life as a dad is never without, for lack of a better metaphor, curve balls. This year, they happened to actually be sports-related, physical trauma for one child, emotional (primarily mine) for the other.

In late April, my younger daughter came charging in from centerfield during warm-ups for her middle-school softball game … and charged about three inches too far. The fly ball she intended to land in her glove instead, in her words, “landed on my nose.” Her mom and I witnessed the mishap and, thankfully, were both with her for the ride to the emergency room and initial treatment. This was my worst nightmare since I first tossed a wiffle ball to Elena’s older sister: “Try and catch the ball, but no matter what, don’t let it hit your face.” On the drive to the hospital, I felt as though I had personally delivered the damaging blow. I’m guessing this feeling doesn’t hit swim dads or golf dads. (Though surely there is unanticipated trauma with those sports, too.)

Among the first things Elena told me from her hospital bed — as we awaited the next in a series of nurses and doctors — was, “I’m not afraid of the ball, Dad.” However afraid I may now be of a softball (it ain’t soft) near my child, the fear is a father’s only. Less than three weeks after her accident, Elena started in centerfield and helped her team win the middle-school city championship. She insists the face-guard she wore was temporary.

As for my firstborn, Sofia tried out for her high school softball team in February, having played the sport since she first slammed a ball off a tee as a 6-year-old. She felt prepared to show her skill set, hoping to find some playing time even as a freshman. When the softball coach saw her run during a P.E. class, though, Sofia was told she’d be welcome at tryouts, but only as a left-handed hitter. She was told her speed is too great an asset in softball and could only be maximized if she switched from her natural side as a right-handed batter.

Hitting a thrown ball with a round stick is the hardest thing to do in sports. And knowing the difficulty I had hitting from my natural side, this “curve ball” tested my resolve to avoid meddling with my daughters’ teams. But again, the anxiety was a father’s only. Sofia turned around and not only won the leftfield job, but batted second in the order all season, starting every game for a team that went 17-5. Surely her coach will soon recognize the asset of a sophomore switch-hitter.

“I don’t think I am a great man, but I have been able to do most of what I wanted, in large part because I married your mother. I can tell you this for sure: the most important thing I can associate with my name is raising you and your sister.”

My dad wrote those words in a note he sent me shortly after I became a father in May 1999. They’ve rung true ever since. Trauma is around the corner for every dad, hopefully mild. It’s never easy to endure, not when our children are in the mix. But witnessing them overcome life’s stray curve balls? That’s pure inspiration, flavored with awe.

Happy Father’s Day.