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EZ Weaves

After years of chasing recognition, Memphis officially became a World Class City ™ last week when a large, purple vending machine for hair weaves arrived at Wolfchase Galleria.

The Diamond Dynasty weave machine offers a variety of fancy hair options ranging in length and style and priced from $55-$80. TV newscasters said the vending machine will be a convenience for people who may need to change their look on the go. Like spies, maybe?

We’re #2…

In a story about the city’s declining murder rate, the Associated Press ran with the headline, “Killings Down in Tennessee’s Second Most Populous City.” It seems unnecessarily baroque and maybe a little shady even.

Verbatim

“Late at night and into the early morning hours, customers engage in so-called ‘money wars.’ The stacks of bills Dennis is bundling will be sold out of a duffel bag at the edge of the stage, minus 10 percent. In other words, $900 singles will cost you $1,000. In order to show off who has the most money to burn, customers will shower the girls with bills, competing with each other to make it rain money the hardest.” — Excerpted from “Money Wars at a Memphis Strip Club,” Forbes.

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Misery Loves Company

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If Memphis is “most miserable,” we’d hate to see what “most desirable” looks like. At least that’s the attitude many locals seem to have regarding the Bluff City’s placement on the annual Forbes “Most Miserable Cities” list.

This weekend, the Hi-Tone is throwing a “Misery Loves Company” Ball, both as an excuse to celebrate the good things about Memphis and as a way to give the Forbes list the proverbial middle finger. The event goes down on Saturday, February 12th at 9 p.m. and features DJ Buck Wilders and the Hook-Up.

Memphis came in at number six in the 2011 list of the top 20 U.S. cities with the highest crime, taxes and unemployment rates, the worst weather, the longest commute times, and the least successful sports teams. According to Forbes, high sales tax plus a still-high crime rate are responsible for Memphis’ miserable status. The article fails to mention new crime statistics that show a 24 percent drop in violent crime in Memphis since 2006.

On a more positive note, Memphis also just ranked number six on CareerBliss.com’s list of the happiest cities to work in.

“We can’t take these rankings very seriously, especially given how we were ranked on the Most Miserable list and the Happiest Cities to Work list,” said Mary Cashiola, the city’s brand manager. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with them. Or at least prove them partly wrong.”

For more on the “Misery Loves Company” Ball, check out the event’s Facebook page.

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Memphis is America’s Fattest City!

Here we go again. Yet another magazine with yet another city-ranking survey in which Memphis looks embarrassingly bad. This time, it’s Forbes Magazine, and it’s fat. Yep, according to Forbes, Memphis is “America’s Fattest City.”

According to Forbes: “Researchers have found that [Memphis] residents are aware of the area’s obesity problem, currently affecting 34 percent of its population. Among the causes they blame: high rates of poverty and a culture of Southern hospitality and food that values certain types of dishes–many of them fried–over healthier choices. Memphis actually sits on the western edge of a web of Southern cities along with Birmingham, Ala., and Atlanta, that also landed on our list.”

To read more about the survey’s methodology (hanging out at Tops Barbecue?) and to see a list of America’s fattest cities (in pictures, yet), check out Forbes.com.

For a more serious look at the problem, see Preston Lauterbach’s story from June’s Memphis magazine.

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We’re Number 1!!!! Memphis Named “America’s Most Sedentary City”

Forbes Magazine set out to find America’s Most Sedentary City, and guess what? It’s US! Good ol’ Memphis, Tennessee.

Memphis’ perfect combination of high obesity, high television-watching rate, urban sprawl, poverty, and relative lack of parkland, landed us the top spot.

It sounds sort of silly, but the article is quite serious, well-researched, and well worth a read.