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Music Music Blog

Ponderosa Stomp Recap: 24 Hours in NOLA

Alex Greene

Andria Lisle, Vaneese Thomas, and Carla Thomas

Although Ponderosa Stomp, the New Orleans-based love letter to lesser-known soul, blues, rockabilly, and garage artists, was cut short by the fizzled Hurricane Nate, the festival was hopping last Friday. Many of the performers and audience alike stayed at the Ace Hotel, where the daytime hours were filled with panel discussions and interviews as part of the event’s Music History Conference. While vinyl junkies perused the record bins in a side room, and that evening’s bands rehearsed in a closed space near the lobby, hundreds more filed through the hotel’s main event hall to hear some history.

For those eager to hear personal tales of the music world, it was an embarrassment of riches. An early highlight was the panel dedicated to the late Billy Miller, visionary co-founder of Norton records. The label has released many Memphis treasures, from archival re-issues of rockabilly and Big Star to more recent works by the Reigning Sound. Miller passed away last year at the young age of 62, making this memorial panel an emotional one. His wife and partner, Miriam Linna, said that she was especially proud of his last labor of love, a collection of lost Dion tracks from 1965. The panel was moderated by the unflappable Michael Hurtt, of Royal Pendletons fame, also a musicologist in his own right.

Another Memphis panel featured Reggie Young, guitarist extraordinaire with Hi Records and American Studios. Young was not in the best health, but certainly of sound mind and body as he exchanged comments with moderator Red Kelly on the landmark singles and albums of his career, beginning with his first encounter with Jack Clement and Bill Black at the Memphis “Home for Incurables” in the 1950s. The success of the Bill Black Combo (who were known to wear “BBC” suit coats) led to tours with the Beatles, Kinks, and Yardbirds. When Kelly cued up James Carr’s “The Dark End of the Street,” featuring Young’s guitar work, the crowd gave the record a standing ovation. Similarly, upon hearing just the guitar break in Joe Tex’s “Skinny Legs and All,” the crowd once again rose to applaud. Young also recalled taking a lunch break while recording with King Curtis. At the local diner, Curtis picked up a menu and began riffing on menu items in musical terms, including some “boiling Memphis guitar.” The group loved it so much, they skipped lunch and returned to the studio to cut “Memphis Soul Stew.”

Another fine panel tied to Memphis was Andria Lisle’s discussion with Carla and Vaneese Thomas. They recounted their early love of the Teen Town Singers, and the pride they felt when Dave Clark, being dubbed “The World’s Oldest Teenager” at an award ceremony, turned to kneel before Rufus Thomas as he looked on, saying that honor could only go to him. Carla also recalled writing songs just for fun as a teen, as her father recorded on a home reel-to-reel tape deck. One of these was a little tune called “Gee Whiz (Look at his Eyes),” the recording of which Rufus took down to Stax on a whim, launching her career.

When dusk settled on the Crescent City, festival goers migrated over to the Orpheum to see that evening’s full roster of bands. It all kicked off with Billy Boy Arnold, who delivered a soft-spoken “I Wish You Would,” along with other blues. A swamp pop revue followed, featuring T.K. Hulin and G.G. Shinn, and the latter’s “Harlem Shuffle” was galvanizing. Some fine, funky soul followed with Warren Storm and Willie West, but it was Winfield Parker who really brought the house down with his voice, an under-appreciated treasure of the soul genre.

It should be noted that a perplexing audio mix plagued much of the night, but every performer rose above it with aplomb. Barbara Lynn, a Stomp regular by now, was in fine voice and demonstrated some sublime guitar work. Archie Bell whipped the house into a frenzy, both with his “Tighten Up” and the lesser-known “Strategy,” which had him screaming “I’m soaking wet! I’m soaking wet” at the song’s climactic chorus, perhaps in sympathy with the Gulf Coast being on the receiving end of Hurricane Nate.

Roy Head carried on over the full horn section rave up during “Treat Her Right,” another Stomp favorite. And then came the abrupt shift to cajun stomping music with Doug Kershaw, who was a little out of it, but sang with gusto every word of his hit that he could recall. “He’s got Muskrat hides hanging by the dozens/ Even got a lady Mink, a Muskrat’s cousin/ Got ‘em out drying in the hot, hot sun/ Tomorrow papa’s gonna turn ‘em into money.” It had the floor shaking with knee-slapping joy, and Kershaw’s freestyle fiddling over the chord changes made the band sound almost psychedelic.

But the psychedelia was just beginning. Roky Erickson, who’s reprise of 13th Floor Elevators cuts has been known to be spotty at other festivals, was completely on point this night, and the band supported him mightily. The chemistry in this band led “Dr. Ike,” festival organizer Ira Padnos, to exclaim that it was the closest thing he could imagine to seeing the Elevators themselves.

Finally, show closers the Gories hit the stage fast and furious, building a glorious wall of noise with minimalist, primitivist swagger. Again, the ferocious music rose above the sound mix and the house was gyrating to Mick Collins’ blasts of noise guitar, soaring over the wiry groove of guitarist Dan Kroha and drummer Peggy O’Neill. For those Memphians who have long adulated this stunning band, it was a fine, gritty apotheosis to the night and the perfect melding of R&B, blues, punk, and unclassifiable parts and grease off the garage floor.

Alas, though Nate was a fizzle in the Big Easy the next day, a city curfew forced the cancellation of the second night’s show. Although there was an impromptu concert in the Ace Hotel on Saturday afternoon, this did not include performances by Don Bryant or the Thomas sisters. Indeed, the Bo-Keys, crack soul band of the current era in Memphis music, didn’t even make it to New Orleans due to bad weather or the threat of it.

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Music Music Blog

Reigning Sound Rule Gonerfest Thursday Night

If you want to get cheered up quick, try Gonerfest. 

Memphis punks Nots open Gonerfest 13 in the Cooper Young Gazebo

I had had a pretty crappy Thursday, and was in a pretty foul mood as I headed to the corner of Cooper and Young for the kickoff of Gonerfest 13. The fresh air, idyllic weather, and flurry of faces, both familiar and unfamiliar, loosened me up a bit, and then Nots rocked away the remnants of my darkness. As Goner co-owner Zac Ives said in his brief introduction to the band, it’s been a real privelage watching this band of Memphis women grow and evolve from raw, explosive talent into the finely honed outfit that confidently kicked off the world’s greatest garage punk festival. Even more heartening was the gaggle of little girls who gathered transfixed before Nots frontwoman Natalie Hoffman. The rest of Gonerfest may not be kid-friendly, but for a few minutes yesterday afternoon some Midtown kids got a glimpse of what a powerful, talented, and determined bunch of women can do. 

The show moved to the considerably less kid-friendly environs of the Hi-Tone for the evening’s festivities, led off by Memphis newcomers Hash Redactors. Half the fun of Gonerfest (well, maybe not literally half) is discovering new acts, and between the psychedelic Redactors and Chook Race from Melbourne Australia, I had joined two new fandoms before 10 PM. As the night’s MC, the legendary Black Oak Arkansas frontman Jim Dandy, explained “Chook Race” is Aussie slang for chicken racing, which is apparently a thing in the Outback. But aside from their accents, the three piece didn’t sound like they were from down under. I got a distinct vibe of Athens, Georgia circa 1981 from the jangly sound and twisty songwriting. Some songs sounded like Pylon, while others could have been outtakes from REM’s first EP “Chronic Town”. 

Chook Race from Melbourne, Australia

The crowd shoehorned into the Hi Tone mingled all kinds of accents and looks. I noticed as I entered the show that passports were being offered as IDs as often as American driver’s licenses. Yes, people really come from outside the states to Gonerfest. Lots of them. 

Reigning Sound

The rest of the evening offered various shades of garage rock, from Ohioans Counter Intuits to the Gonerfest veterans now based in San Francisco Useless Eaters. Guitar heroes Fred and Toody—Oregonian legends who fronted Dead Moon and Pierced Arrows—played a noisy set to a reverent room. Then it was time for a return of some Memphis favorite sons, Reigning Sound. Greg Oblivian Cartwright formed the band in the early 2000s with Alex Greene on keys, Greg Roberson on drums, and Memphis import Jeremy Scott on bass and backup vocals. The original lineup stayed stable for two of the best records created in Memphis since the heyday of Stax, and their live shows are legendary. When the original lineup reunited, with the occasional addition of John Whittemore on pedal steel and guitar, they proved the legends true for those who didn’t get the opportunity to see it go down the first time. There wasn’t a bad band on the first night of Gonerfest 13, but the Reigning Sound were head and shoulders above the rest. No one else had the width and depth of Cartwright’s songwriting, or the telepathic group cohesion that can sound both haphazard and incredibly tight at the same time. These guys are, and have alway been, the real deal. 

Now to get rehydrated for today’s shows. 

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Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Music Video Monday: Angry Angles

This Music Video Monday is moving at a breakneck pace. 

The late king of Memphis garage rock Jay Reatard was notoriously prolific—even his side bands had side bands. He formed the Angry Angles in 2005 with his then-girlfriend, rocker/model/DJ Alix Brown, and Ryan Roussau of Phoenix, Arizona psych rockers Destruction Unit. On May 20, Goner Records will release a compilation album with 17 songs recorded during the band’s 2-year tender. This video for the first single, a previously unreleased version of “Things Are Moving”, is by New Orleans video artist 9ris 9ris. It was created by combining footage shot at a pair of Angry Angles live shows with various gifs and video loops. Check out the crunchy video feedback action! 

Music Video Monday: Angry Angles

If you would like to see your video featured on Music VIdeo Monday, email cmccoy@memphisflyer.com

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Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Music Video Monday: Guitar Wolf

Wake up! Its Monday, and that means a new Memphis music video to stuff in your eye-holes. 

Japanese garage punk madmen Guitar Wolf have a deep connection with Memphis. Their first album Wolf Rock was also the first record release by Goner Records, and the band made their film debut in Mike McCarthy’s 1997 movie The Sore Losers. McCarthy incorporated clips from The Sore Losers into the video for “Invader Ace”, a kamakazi blast of punk that will definitely get the blood flowing this Monday morning. Special bonus rock: Jack Oblivian, star of The Store Losers, draws down and gets the girl.  

Music Video Monday: Guitar Wolf

If you want to see your video on Music Video Monday, email cmccoy@memphisflyer.com. 

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Film/TV Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Music Video Monday: Nots

For 4/20 we have a psychedelic blast of color from Memphis garage punks Nots

The clip for the Goner Records artists latest single “White Noise” comes ahead of their upcoming tour with New Orleans’ organ maniacs Quintron and Miss Pussycat, who appear in the video (in drag, in Mr. Quintron’s case). Shot at the Saturn Bar and directed by New Orleans video artist 9ris 9ris, the fixed-camera video cranks up the chroma and exploits analog video distortion to create a warm, shifting color palette.

Music Video Monday: Nots

If you would like to see your video featured on Music Video Monday, email cmccoy@memphisflyer.com.

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Sing All Kinds We Recommend

Gonerfest 11: Blood, Sweat, and Beers

The 11th edition of Gonerfest roared into Midtown last weekend, with punk, garage, power pop, noise, and just plain weird bands from all over the world converged on the Bluff City in an annual gathering of the tribes that has gotten bigger and more exciting each year. Festivities kicked off in the Cooper-Young Gazebo with New York’s Paul Collins Beat

Gonerfest 11: Blood, Sweat, and Beers

I spent the weekend embedded with the Rocket Science Audio crew, who were live streaming the performances to people from as far away as Australia watching on the web. I’ve done this for several years, formerly with Live From Memphis, and this year we brought the full, multi-camera experience to the audience. It’s a lot of fun, in that I get to be up close and focused on the music, but also quite grueling. 

The Rocket Science Audio van outside Goner Records.

The highlights of Thursday night at the Hi Tone were Ross Johnson, Gail Clifton, Jeff Evans, Steve Selvidge, Alex Greene, and a host of others playing songs from Alex Chilton’s chaotically beautiful 1979 solo album Like Flies On Sherbert. The mixture of old school Memphis punks who had played on the album and the best of the current generation of Memphis music made for an incredible listening experience.

The Grifters’ Dave Shouse on the Rocket Science Audio livestream.

Thursday night’s headliners were 90s Memphis lo-fi masters The Grifters. Recently reunited after more than a decade of inactivity, Dave Shouse, Scott Taylor, Trip Lamkins, and Stan Galimore have their groove back. At the Hi Tone, they even sounded—dare I say it—rehearsed. 

I couldn’t make Friday night due to another commitment, but Friday afternoon at The Buccaneer hosted a great collection of bands, starting off with a blast from Memphis hardcore outfit Gimp Teeth

Cole Wheeler fronts Gimp Teeth at the Buccaneer.

Next was one of the highlights of the festival: The return of Red Sneakers. Back at Gonerfest 5, the duo from Nara, Japan showed up unnannounced wanting to play the big show. When Jay Reatard cancelled, they got their chance and blew the roof off of Murphy’s in front of an unsuspecting crowd. This year, they did it again, only they were invited, and they substituted a soulful “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” cover for the smoking “Cold Turkey” they did five years ago. 

Yosei of Red Sneakers about to take the stage.

Afterwards, returning to the Rocket Science Audio van, we found that one of Red Sneakers’ drum sticks had flown over the fence and embedded itself into the earth. No one dared touch it. 

 

Red Sneakers drum stick, fully erect.

Buldgerz

Hardcore Memphis vets Buldgerz played a sweaty and confrontational set of hard and fast punk nuggets, followed by Mississippi’s Wild Emotions

The weather cooperated again the next day for a memorable afternoon show at Murphy’s. Two stages, one inside and one outside, alternated throughout the afternoon. 

Roy from Auckland, New Zealand’s Cool Runnings plays the indoor stage at Murphy’s under the old Antenna sign.

Goner Records co-owner Zach Ives sings with Sons Of Vom, as seen from the Rocket Science Audio webcast monitor.

There were many great performances on Saturday afternoon, but the most incredible was Weather Warlock, an experimental heavy noise act centered around a light-controlled synthesizer custom built by New Orleans’ mad genius Quintron. The cacuphony rose and fell as the light changed with the sunset, and Quintron and co-conspirator Gary Wong swirled around it with guitars and theremin, while a plume of smoke rose over the stage. 

Photographer Don Perry, AKA Bully Rook, dressed for Gonerfest.

Gonerfesters stumbled into the Hi Tone Saturday night, a little bleary from three days of rock, but with a lot of amazing music ahead of them. 

DJ Useless Eater keeps the crowd hopping at the Hi Tone.

Obnox

The highlight of the show for me was Nots. Fronted by steely-eyed, ex-Ex-Cult bassist Natalie Hoffman, the four piece arrived with something to prove. And prove it they did, with punishing, athletic songs delivered amid a shower of balloons and waves of reverb. 

The Nots, Charlotte Watson, Natalie Hoffman, Allie Eastburn, and Madison Farmer, backstage at the Hi Tone.

Austin, Texas No Wavers Spray Paint on the monitor Saturday night.

Detroit, Michigan’s Protomartyr on the Hi Tone stage.

English guitarist, songwriter, and ranter The Rebel delivers a solo set to a packed house.

Ken Highland and Rich Coffee of The Gizmos get bunny ears from their drummer after a celebratory closing set at Gonerfest 11.

The crowd, the largest I’ve ever seen at the Hi Tone, never flagged throughout the night, which ended with a reunion of The Gizmos, a seminal American band that developed something like punk in 1977 in the isolation of Bloomington, Indiana. The playing was loose, the mood buoyant, and the band vowed to not stay away for so long. And after a Gonerfest as great as this one, next year can’t come soon enough. 

[Ed Note: The first edition of this story incorrectly identified The Nerves “Hanging On The Telephone” as being written by Blondie.]

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Opinion

Flagrant Foul

“No harm, no foul” is no more.

For 20 years the Memphis Area Transit Authority has been a conduit for millions of dollars of federal funds for downtown projects like the trolley and Central Station. If they were wasteful and underused, they were also pretty to look at, welcoming to tourists, and catalysts for development. And they could always be rationalized by saying that if Memphis didn’t take the money some other city would.

But the FedExForum parking garage, funded with $20 million in Federal Highway Administration funds, has produced a scathingly critical state audit, a demand that the city of Memphis repay $6.3 million, and an FBI investigation. Key players in the deal could be disciplined, fired, or indicted.

What’s different about the parking garage? Three things.

• Deception, negligence, and carelessness at the local and state levels caused funds to be approved. The audit repeatedly uses the words “misrepresentation,” “ineligible,” “tailored to qualify,” “contrary to regulations,” “questionable,” “did not notify,” or “regulations not properly followed.” A free-parking garage for downtown workers and bus patrons became a gift to the Memphis Grizzlies, earning them profits of $2.7 million in 2005 alone. So complete was the transformation of the garage from public to private that a card-carrying federal transportation inspector was denied permission to park for free in the facility by an attendant who insisted “everybody had to pay.”

• The FedExForum garage makes no pretense of being an intermodal transportation facility (ITF). MATA doesn’t even list it on its Web site, and the small MATA office on the south side of the garage has never been used. An alley behind Beale Street that was supposed to be a bus lane is a pedestrian walkway, and the plaza on the west side of the arena serves basketball fans, not bus passengers. An adjacent building houses basketball offices and a music museum. Central Station, on the other hand, is an Amtrak station, a police precinct, and sheltered waiting area where MATA buses make regular laps around an empty parking lot. MATA’s east-west trolley on Madison Avenue is also little used, but it is undeniably a public trolley, as advertised. In the Alice in Wonderland world of federal transportation funds, the distinctions are important.

• Finally, to use a basketball expression, the refs are calling them closer these days. Former state senator Roscoe Dixon faces prison time for accepting less than $10,000 in bribes from a fake company in an FBI sting. Former school board member Michael Hooks Jr. is charged with taking a share of $60,364 in allegedly bogus consulting fees. And the feds also prosecuted football booster Logan Young Jr. on the theory that recruiting can be a criminal enterprise and a high school football coach is a public official. In this context, Mayor Willie Herenton’s claim that a $20 million misrepresentation is not a big deal rings hollow.

Herenton supporters suggest the FBI investigation is pre-election posturing. Some of the City Council members who demanded an investigation might run for mayor in 2007. U.S. attorney David Kustoff is new to the job and a former Republican activist and friend of Shelby County district attorney Bill Gibbons who is on the August ballot.

But the Flyer has learned from sources that government officials in Nashville were aware of the FBI investigation at least two weeks before it was publicly acknowledged. In this context, the “Special Report” by the Tennessee Department of Transportation (TDOT) Office of Internal Audit, released in June and “conducted in anticipation of litigation,” looks like a forerunner to firings and indictments. (No lawsuits have been filed so far. Attorney Duncan Ragsdale, who sued in 2001 to prevent public funds for the arena, said he has not filed anything.)

Details of the 22-page report, along with public comments and other documents, indicate which of the players in the parking garage story might be at risk.

Herenton has a better chance of knocking out Joe Frazier than separating himself from the city’s $250 million signature project. His special assistant, Pete Aviotti, attended all the important Public Building Authority (PBA) meetings and is chairman of a MATA advisory committee on regional rail. Aviotti was absent from the City Council’s session in June.

Herenton appointed Will Hudson as general manager of MATA in 1993. Hudson did attend the council meeting, but he wasn’t grilled. It’s impossible that Hudson was unaware of details of a $20 million building with MATA’s name on it. MATA customers were getting the shaft when the Grizzlies took over the garage minus free parking, bus lanes, and shelters. If Hudson called a foul, nobody heard him.

The audit says Tom Fox, MATA’s general manager of planning and capital projects, decided it was unsafe to send buses down Beale Street alley but apparently did not notify TDOT and the feds. Fox told auditors he noticed the PBA had made changes in garage drawings but he “did not feel strong enough about it to fight about it.”

Robert Spence was city attorney until 2004. Spence suggested that the city could not profit from the garage, but the Grizzlies could. The audit doesn’t support that view. Spence also told auditors that David Bennett, the former director of the PBA who is now dead, was responsible for executing an operating agreement for the garage with the federal agency.

But Charles Carpenter, the attorney who succeeded Bennett, said the PBA had no role in garage operations and its job was merely to “build it.” Carpenter, who ran Herenton’s 1991 mayoral campaign and has earned hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees for city business, assured City Council members last November that the city had “little or no exposure” if money had to be paid back for the parking garage. In June, Carpenter told the council that “for TDOT to say someone duped them” is inaccurate.

An engineer interviewed by auditors said Bennett ordered schematics or rough drawings to be used only at meetings and not for actual construction because they differed from the final drawings. Auditors called this “misrepresentation.”

Sara Hall, the current city attorney, told council members last month she could not help them much because the garage was not built on her watch. But last November, Hall told a council committee she had reviewed Bennett’s records “in detail.”

HOOPS L.P., which owns the Grizzlies, signed an agreement with the city of Memphis on June 29, 2001, that gave them the parking garage 16 months before the TDOT agreement and before federal funding was approved. The audit says HOOPS made $2,773,237 on the garage in 2005, reserved 630 parking spaces (43 percent of the total) for employees and players and others, and made sure no one else — including a federal investigator — used them.

In Nashville, Don Sundquist, a former Memphian and congressman, was governor when the arena’s complicated financing package was approved and, on October 30, 2002, when TDOT signed a contract with the city for an ITF. State assistance of some kind was seen as equitable treatment for Memphis because the state helped the Tennessee Titans build a new stadium in Nashville. The audit does not name Sundquist or his transportation commissioner, Bruce Saltsman.

Gerald Nicely, commissioner of TDOT, told The Commercial Appeal “there’s plenty of blame to go around.” The audit is more specific. TDOT’s parking garage overseer was Dennis Cook. Like Nicely and Sundquist, Cook knew the Memphis powers-that-be wanted a basketball arena, not an ITF. He could follow the letter of the law and possibly delay the project or go with the flow. Cook told auditors he “did not ensure the plans were reviewed in detail to verify the garage contained features necessary to operate as an ITF but that he probably should have.” Cook also said he reviewed payment requests but “did not notice” they included unallowable reimbursements.

At the federal level, Mark Doctor and Gary Corino were responsible for oversight. TDOT and the feds blamed each other. Doctor told auditors “we were looking for ways to say yes rather than to say no,” and Corino said they “backed into eligibility” for the project. Doctor said he was unaware of the profit angle, but auditors said he “had access to knowledge” about it.

The next step proposed in the audit is, by TDOT’s own admission, illogical: turn FedExForum’s garage into an ITF, thus preserving its “public transportation purpose” and justifying the $14 million of the $20 million that does not have to be repaid. A few pages earlier, however, auditors state that an ITF so close to downtown and just five blocks from the “underutilized” Central Station ITF is useless and would increase congestion.

“Parking at the garage, walking to the bus stop while crossing streets and being exposed to the elements, waiting for a bus while minimally if at all shielded from the weather, and boarding a bus to travel a few blocks to the downtown area may not appeal to many customers,” the audit states.

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Opinion

Intermodal Madness

See if you can follow this.

Central Station downtown used to be a busy train station back when lots of people rode trains. But it’s not about trains any more. Now it’s an apartment building with a small Amtrak office, and the waiting room is often used for parties and wedding receptions. Since a few months ago, Central Station has also been the South Main Station of the Memphis Police Department, with 200 officers and scores of police cars in the parking lot that was ostensibly built for Amtrak passengers. The upper level of the parking lot is one of the weirdest things downtown — an outdoor waiting area under a metal roof the length of a football field. The benches are empty, usually. The parking lot is empty, usually (except on Saturdays, when there is a farmers market). But every few minutes a MATA bus headed south on Front Street makes a left turn into the parking lot, takes a lonely and utterly pointless lap around the outdoor waiting area the length of a football field, exits the parking lot, turns back north, and goes on its way.

Welcome to the intermodal transit facility, envisioned 15-20 years ago by delusional federal officials as a hub where buses, cars, trains, and taxi cabs would load and unload passengers for God knows what reason and bring prosperity to downtown Memphis. Which it did, sort of, although not at all in the way it was supposed to. In fact, Central Station is a party room, apartment building, police station, art gallery, and parking lot where Amtrak’s City of New Orleans makes its daily departure headed south at 6:50 a.m. Between the train station boondoggle and the river, the South Bluff and South End neighborhoods have brought more than 1,000 new residents downtown. They don’t ride buses or trains, but they’re there. Would they be there if the train station was still the spooky wreck it was 20 years ago? Maybe, maybe not.

Most of this was paid for with federal funds available for mass transportation, the same funding that was used for the parking garage at FedExForum that is suddenly in the news. Or, rather, suddenly in the news in a big way because it was in the news a little bit four years ago when Shelby County commissioners John Willingham and Walter Bailey were squawking and demanding an audit that never happened.

Federal funds for mass transit were also used 20 years ago to landscape and repave the crumbling bricks of the downtown Main Street Mall, formerly the Mid-America Mall, and to put in trolleys that were supposed to carry working passengers but actually carry tourists and people going to special events. Again, the result was more positive than negative, although not in the way that was intended.

About $70 million in federal transportation funds were also used for the east-west trolley extension along Madison Avenue to Cleveland. It is hardly used at all, but if the medical research park at the old Baptist Hospital site comes to pass, part of it could serve a useful purpose some day.

Federal transportation funds paid for the Bluff Walk downtown, thanks to a wrinkle in the law that requires some expenditures for pedestrian and bicycle transit. The benefits have been more toward beautification than bikes.

And federal transportation funds paid for the bus terminal at the north end of downtown. This project actually functions as a bus terminal, with real passengers sitting in a real waiting room to ride real buses to get to real places.

So, let’s review. We have Central Station for parties, faux farmers, and apartments; the parking garage at the FedExForum for the Memphis Grizzlies; the downtown trolley for tourists; the east-west trolley for bus drivers and, possibly, future medical researchers; the Bluff Walk for pedestrians; and the bus terminal at the north end of downtown for people who ride the bus. Six federally funded mass-transit projects, one of which actually provides and promotes regular mass transit. One for six, or about the same probability as Shaq hitting a free throw in the NBA playoffs. Your tax dollars at work.