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Letter From The Editor Opinion

Letter From the Editor: Gamecocks and Gay Rights

On occasion, I speak to journalism classes. One of the things I always say is that this profession, like few others, broadens you, opens you to new experiences. You meet fascinating people, you observe history unfolding in real time — judicial decisions, civic activism, crime and corruption, war, politics, sporting events, theater, art, music, food — you name it, and journalists cover it.

It’s senior editor Jackson Baker’s journalistic lot to have to occasionally trek to Nashville and cover the machinations of our Tennessee legislature (page 19). But I don’t tell students about this sort of assignment, because I don’t want to scare them off.

Imagine the fear it would strike in these eager young minds if I told him they might have to go to a Bizarro World where the inhabitants fear gays but love cockfighting; where mop sinks are seen as Muslim footbaths and guns are worshiped; where you can vote using an out-of-state hunting license but not with a state-issued student ID. Where parents whose children get bad grades are deprived of money that pays for food or rent. Where evolution is just another “theory,” like gravity and creationism. Where ideology and fear and allegiance to special interests trump common sense and the public welfare.

While history unfolds in the rest of the country, our lawmakers are refolding it. As gay marriage moves closer to reality, our legislators ponder a law prohibiting teachers from even saying the word “gay.” While the rest of the country comes to grips with Obamacare, our governor, unwilling to take on his party’s ideologues, minces around with “alternate” plans that will leave us picking up the health-care tab for thousands of uninsured Tennesseans. While Congress works on a bill requiring background checks for gun purchases, our legislature passes a bill requiring employers to let their workers have guns on their premises.

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the General Assembly’s push to give vouchers to thousands of people so they could send their kids to private and religious schools. I joked at the time about what would happen when they realized such a bill would allow Muslim schools to receive public funds. I was joking, because I thought surely they’d already considered this little complication.

Nope, it turns out they hadn’t, and that derailed the voucher bill til next year — until the good ol’ boys can figure out a way to end-run the Constitution and channel tax-payer funds only to schools that don’t have Muslim footbaths.

Bruce VanWyngarden

brucev@memphisflyer.com

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Opinion The Last Word

The Rant

“Oh … mmm. I know a place. Ain’t nobody cryin’. Ain’t nobody worried. Ain’t no smilin’ faces … Mmm, no no … Lyin’ to the races. Help me, come on, come on. Somebody, help me now … (I’ll take you there). Help me, y’all … (I’ll take you there). Help me now … (I’ll take you there). Oh!”

OR: “Ding Dong! The Witch is dead. Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead. Wake up, sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed. Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.”

I don’t know which one of these seems more appropriate to me after President Obama’s inauguration: the famous Staple Singers song or the Munchkins rejoicing when the Wicked Witch is killed in The Wizard of Oz. But when is the last time you’ve heard one good thing about being conservative and rigid and backward (not that all conservatives are, mind you), and when is the last time you heard anyone utter the words “Tea Party,” other than to comment that they lost, they are gone, and the country is moving right along on a new path that looks like all America might finally be dancing in the streets and trying to get along?

The president’s speech, which I watched him deliver with a lump in my throat the size of Luxembourg, was more than even I had expected. It was like some cloud of reelection angst had been lifted, and he spoke what he really feels in his heart about how every single person in this country deserves to be treated equally. Now, I am not naïve enough to think it’s going to happen in my lifetime or maybe even not that of the children I know, but at least he feels it and he said it.

For the first time ever, a sitting president talked about gay rights — or at least it was the first time a president has said they should have equal rights. He talked about the poor, immigrants, children who needed to be kept safe from guns. No wonder it was reported that Mitt Romney was relaxing at one of his many estates and didn’t plan to watch the inauguration. It just gave me the feeling that we have a chance now to experience a big-picture shift toward goodness and decency and fairness for a change, instead of let’s run out all the immigrants, treat gay people like lepers, and dismiss the 47 percent that won’t try to be responsible for themselves.

Now, I have a few more things I would like for him to address. One is this six-cat limit per household in Olive Branch, Mississippi, the efforts to take away two of a poor guy’s cats just because he had two more than they think he should have. And they are trying to make him choose which two. It’s Sophie’s Choice, only with cats. People can have 100 assault weapons and 1,000 magazines of ammunition in their garages and underground survivalist bunkers, but this man and his mother can’t have eight indoor cats? Who the hell came up with this?

That family in Arkansas that’s always on the Today show can have more than 20 children, and they are trying to take away this man’s cats, which are like children to him and don’t bother anyone? What kind of nonsense is this? The worst part is that one of the cat’s names is Mama Cat and I have one by the exact same name and if anyone tried to take her away from me they would return her as fast as they could because she is CRAZY and eats more than a teenage football player. I heard her meowing the other night on the front porch through my open window, when that big storm started crashing around, and when I looked out, there was a 17-foot raccoon staring right at me, moving toward the window. Mama Cat and the others mounted themselves like palace guards to keep the post-nuclear-war-sized beast from coming at me.

I shudder to think what might have happened if someone had taken some of my cats because I was over my “cat limit.” Please. Olive Branch, let the man keep his two cats.

I also want President Obama to start enacting some grammar laws for people on television who get paid enough that they should know better than to constantly butcher the English language. In my last column, I mentioned the cooking show Chopped! and its awkward premise, and I can now barely make it through Unique Eats without losing my voice from yelling at the television. The entire premise of this show is that chefs and other foodie celebrities talk about foods they love from various restaurants and what makes the dishes unique. And all the way through every episode they say things like “so unique” and “very unique” and “sort of unique” and “kind of unique.” Damn them to hell. If something is unique, it is unique! Period. A thing can’t be “kind of unique.” It is not only bad grammar, it is just not possible considering the definition of “unique.” The show’s producers probably spend $100,000 to film each episode, and they can’t get this right? It drives me crazy. Give me that money so I can defend that man in Olive Branch in court so he can keep his cats.

Categories
Letters To The Editor Opinion

Letters to the Editor

The MLGW Cover

Getting to the supermarket, DVD store, or Peanut Shoppe to get my copy of the Flyer is a weekly priority. Seeing the cover of the March 8th issue? Priceless!

S.G. Long

Memphis

Edmund Ford

City councilman Edmund Ford, awaiting trial on numerous charges brought forth by the FBI — not to mention his MLGW problems — berated every city councilperson and the media in a committee meeting two weeks ago (“Power Play,” March 8th issue). He pointed fingers and threatened some by name. And like a kennel of whipped puppies, they were laid to rest by the “undertaker.”

Ford says the MLGW charges are false and the bills are not entirely his. So what is the connection between Willie Herenton, Joe Lee, and Edmund Ford? Try this on for size: When Herenton nominated Lee to be president of MLGW, Ford praised him for his choice. And why shouldn’t he? According to his own statements, Ford is the one who married Joe Lee to his wife Mona!

Joe Mercer

Memphis

Let Them Eat a Stadium?

In 1789, a crowd of poor women marched into the Palace of Versailles and tried to petition their king for a fairer form of government. They were shouting that they had no bread and were hungry. To this, Marie Antoinette famously replied: “Let them eat cake.”

This is similar to the issue of a new football stadium raised by Mayor Herenton. Instead of educating our children or hiring enough probation officers to monitor sex offenders or dealing with our many other problems, we are told to “eat cake,” in the form of a new football stadium.

Frank M. Boone

Memphis

General Pace

Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman General Peter Pace recently offered his opinion that homosexuality was “immoral.” I would first like to thank him for at least being honest and clear about his beliefs. However, I am one of the millions of “immoral” individuals he has insulted. I will not try to explain the natural connections and the human emotions involved. It is said best in biblical terms: After God created the earth and looked at what he had done, he saw that it was good. He said nothing about perfect.

So let us no longer pass judgment on one another but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. You are okay; I am okay — which means we’re both okay.

Gregory Vassar

Memphis

Agrees With Blackburn

I have finally found something about which I agree with my congresswoman. Representative Marsha Blackburn is right on when she targets banks that issue credit cards to those who are in our country illegally. This is a serious example of American business interests being put above our national security.

I encourage Congress to adopt Blackburn’s idea and make it the law of the land. I also encourage Blackburn to review her support for all those bank and credit-card fees and the sky-high interest rates banks have been allowed to charge. 

Only the payday loan companies are allowed to charge higher rates, and they have been like sharks in targeting our stressed military families. The last Congress passed some relief but not enough to provide help to those who are sacrificing the most.

Jack Bishop

Cordova

Playhouse Kudos

I’m a young actor, and I made my first trip to Memphis for the Southeast Theatre Conference auditions. Playhouse on the Square was the host, and I had the chance to see its production of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Whatever that theater is doing, it is doing right! The actors were top-notch, and the production values exquisite. Who needs to pay the prices of Broadway, when great theater is happening right there in Memphis!

Charles Milton

Watertown, Massachusetts

Categories
Letter From The Editor Opinion

Letter from the Editor: Do Say Gay

I’ve been thinking a lot about my Uncle Don this week. He was born in the 1920s, served honorably in World War II, then came back to civilian life and became a succesful pediatric dentist in St. Louis.

He lived a long and prosperous life, almost 30 years of it in the same elegant bluff-top home with his “roommate” Richard. When Richard died in the 1990s, Don started drinking too much. He died a few years later, sick and depressed, in a VA hospital in our small Missouri hometown.

He was a sophisticated man — a concert pianist in his spare time and an inveterate traveler. His presents were always fascinating, and the best thing I unwrapped most Christmases was usually something from his travels.

As was the custom with his generation (and with my Midwestern family), Don’s sexuality was never acknowledged. His brother (my father) often would say, “I wish Don would find a nice woman and settle down.”

By the time I was 16, I knew the score. And I’ve never figured out if my father was really clueless or just trying to protect me from the truth. I didn’t care. Don was cool.

I took my college girlfriends to St. Louis to stay at his groovy “bachelor pad.” He and Richard hosted dinner parties for us with artists and professors and bohemian types. I loved him. He was a wonderful uncle and a good man.

That’s why it infuriates me to hear the hypocrisy that came out of General Peter Pace’s mouth last week. The chairman of the joint chiefs of staff called homosexuality “immoral,” adding: “I do not believe the United States is well served by a policy that says it is okay to be immoral.”

This guy is the military equivalent of my father — clueless or ignoring the obvious. Recent estimates put the number of gays serving in the U.S. military at around 65,000. Imagine if all those “immoral” folks decided to “tell,” without being “asked.”

What is immoral is asking people to fight and die for this country without letting them be who they truly are.

Bruce VanWyngarden

brucev@memphisflyer.com