Tag: horoscopes

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming days, your hunger will be so inexhaustible that you may feel driven to devour extravagant amounts of food and drink. It’s possible you will gain 10 pounds in a very short time. Who knows? You might even enter an extreme eating contest and devour 46 dozen oysters in 10 minutes! APRIL FOOL! Although what I just said is remotely plausible, I foresee that you will sublimate your exorbitant hunger. You will realize it is spiritual in nature and can’t be gratified by eating food. As you explore your voracious longings, you will hopefully discover a half-hidden psychological need you have been suppressing. And then you will liberate that need and feed it what it craves!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus novelist Lionel Shriver writes, “There’s a freedom in apathy, a wild, dizzying liberation on which you can almost get drunk.” In accordance with astrological omens, I recommend you experiment with Shriver’s strategy in the coming weeks. APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, Lionel Shriver’s comment is one of the dumbest thoughts I have ever heard. Why would anyone want the cheap, damaged liberation that comes from feeling indifferent, numb, and passionless? Please do all you can to disrupt and dissolve any attraction you may have to that state, Taurus. In my opinion, you now have a sacred duty to cultivate extra helpings of enthusiasm, zeal, liveliness, and ambition.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): At enormous cost and after years of study, I have finally figured out the meaning of life, at least as it applies to you Geminis. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to reveal it to you unless you send me $1,000 and a case of Veuve Clicquot champagne. I’ve got to recoup my investment, right?! APRIL FOOL! Most of what I just said was a dirty lie. It’s true that I have worked hard to uncover the meaning of life for you Geminis. But I haven’t found it yet. And even if I did, I would of course provide it to you free. Luckily, you are now in a prime position to make dramatic progress in deciphering the meaning of life for yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): For a limited time only, you have permission from the cosmos to be a wildly charismatic egomaniac who brags incessantly and insists on getting your selfish needs met at all times and in all places. Please feel free to have maximum amounts of narcissistic fun, Cancerian! APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit, hoping to offer you medicinal encouragement so you will stop being so damn humble and self-effacing all the time. But the truth is, now is indeed an excellent time to assert your authority, expand your clout, and flaunt your potency and sovereignty.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Michael Scott was a character in the TV sitcom The Office. He was the boss of a paper company. Played by Leo actor Steve Carell, he was notoriously self-centered and obnoxious. However, there was one famous scene I will urge you to emulate. He was asked if he would rather be feared or loved. He replied, “Um, easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” Be like Michael Scott, Leo! APRIL FOOL! I was half-kidding. It’s true I’m quite excited by the likelihood that you will receive floods of love in the coming weeks. It’s also true that I think you should do everything possible to boost this likelihood. But I would rather that people be amazed and pleased at how much they love you, not afraid.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Now would be an excellent time for you to snag a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Momma or Sugar NonBinary Nurturer. The astrological omens are telling me that life is expanding its willingness and capacity to provide you with help, support, and maybe even extra cash. I dare you to dangle yourself as bait and sell your soul to the highest bidder. APRIL FOOL! I was half-kidding. While I do believe it’s prime time to ask for and receive more help, support, and extra cash, I don’t believe you will have to sell your soul to get any of it. Just be yourself!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Happy Unbirthday, Libra! It’s that time halfway between your last birthday and your next. Here are the presents I plan to give you: a boost in your receptivity to be loved and needed; a constructive relationship with obsession; more power to accomplish the half-right thing when it’s hard to do the totally right thing; the disposal of 85 percent of the psychic trash left over from the time between 2018 and 2023; and a provocative new invitation to transcend an outworn old taboo. APRIL FOOL! The truth is, I can’t possibly supply every one of you with these fine offerings, so please bestow them on yourself. Luckily, the cosmic currents will conspire with you to make these things happen.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Now would be an excellent time to seek liposuction, a facelift, Botox, buttocks augmentation, or hair transplants. Cosmic rhythms will be on your side if you change how you look. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was a lie. I’ve got nothing against cosmetic surgery, but now is not the right time to alter your appearance. Here’s the correct oracle: Shed your disguises, stop hiding anything about who you really are, and show how proud you are of your idiosyncrasies.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I command you to love Jesus and Buddha! If you don’t, you will burn in Hell! APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. I was being sensationalistic to grab your attention. Here’s my real, true oracle for you: Love everybody, including Jesus and Buddha. And I mean love them all twice as strong and wild and tender. The cosmic powers ask it of you! The health of your immortal soul depends on it! Yes, Sagittarius, for your own selfish sake, you need to pour out more adoration and care and compassion than you ever have before. I’m not exaggerating! Be a lavish Fountain of Love!

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you gave me permission, I would cast a spell to arouse in you a case of ergophobia, i.e., an aversion to work. I think you need to take a sweet sabbatical from doing business as usual. APRIL FOOL! I was just joking about casting a spell on you. But I do wish you would indulge in a lazy, do-nothing retreat. If you want your ambitions to thrive later, you will be wise to enjoy a brief period of delightful emptiness and relaxing dormancy. As Buddhist teacher Sylvia Boorstein recommends, “Don’t just do something! Sit there!”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In accordance with current astrological omens, I suggest you get the book Brain Surgery for Beginners by Steven Parker and David West. You now have the power to learn and even master complex new skills, and this would be a excellent place to start. APRIL FOOL! I was half-kidding. I don’t really think you should take a scalpel to the gray matter of your friends and family members — or yourself, for that matter. But I am quite certain that you currently have an enhanced power to learn and even master new skills. It’s time to raise your educational ambitions to a higher octave. Find out what lessons and training you need most, then make plans to get them.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the religious beliefs of Louisiana Voodoo, one God presides over the universe but never meddles in the details of life. There are also many spirits who are always intervening and tinkering, intimately involved in the daily rhythm. They might do nice things for people or play tricks on them — and everything in between. In alignment with current astrological omens, I urge you to convert to the Louisiana Voodoo religion and try ingenious strategies to get the spirits to do your bidding. APRIL FOOL! I don’t really think you should convert. However, I believe it would be fun and righteous for you to proceed as if spirits are everywhere — and assume that you have the power to harness them to work on your behalf.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus artist Salvador Dali was prone to exaggerate for dramatic effect. We should remember that as we read his quote: “Mistakes are almost always of a sacred nature. Never try to correct them. On the contrary: Rationalize them; understand them thoroughly.” While that eccentric advice may not always be 100 percent accurate or useful, I think it will be true and helpful for you in the coming weeks. Have maximum fun making sacred mistakes, Taurus! Learn all you can from them. Use them to improve your life.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The professional fun advisors here at Free Will Astrology International Headquarters have concluded that your Party Hardy Potential Rating for the coming weeks is 9.8 (out of 10). In fact, this may be the Party Hardy Phase of the Year for you. You could gather the benefits of maximum revelry and conviviality with minimal side effects. Here’s a meditation to get you in the right mood: Imagine mixing business and pleasure with such panache that they blend into a gleeful, fruitful synergy.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian author and psychotherapist Virginia Satir (1916–1988) was renowned as the “Mother of Family Therapy.” Her research led her to conclude, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” That 12-hug recommendation seems daunting to achieve, but I hope you will strive for it in the coming weeks. You are in a phase when maximum growth is possible — and pushing to the frontiers of hugging will help you activate the full potential. (PS: Don’t force anyone to hug you. Make sure it’s consensual.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you been genuinely amazed anytime recently? Have you done something truly amazing? If not, it’s time to play catch-up. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you need and deserve exciting adventures that boggle your soul in all the best ways. You should be wandering out on the frontiers and tracking down provocative mysteries. You could grow even smarter than you already are if you expose yourself to challenges that will amaze you and inspire you to be amazing.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I invite you to perform a magic spell that will help prepare you for the rich, slippery soul work you have ahead of you. I’ll offer a suggestion, but feel free to compose your own ritual. First, go outside where it’s raining or misting, or find a waterfall. Stand with your legs apart and arms spread out as you turn your face up toward the falling moisture. As you drink it in, tell yourself you will be extra fluid and flowing in the coming weeks. Promise yourself you will stimulate and treasure succulent feelings. You will cultivate the sensation that everything you need is streaming in your direction.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You are gliding into the climax of your re-education about togetherness, intimacy, and collaboration. The lessons you’ve been learning have deepened your reservoir of wisdom about the nature of love. And in the coming weeks, even further teachings will arrive; even more openings and invitations will be available. You will be offered the chance to earn what could in effect be a master’s degree in relationships. It’ll be challenging work, but rewarding and interesting. Do as best as you can. Don’t demand perfection from yourself or anyone else.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Now is not a favorable phase to gamble on unknown entities. Nor should you allow seemingly well-meaning people to transgress your boundaries. Another Big No: Don’t heed the advice of fear-mongers or nagging scolds, whether they’re inside or outside your head. On the other hand, dear Scorpio, the coming weeks will be an excellent time for the following actions. 1. Phase out attachments to alliances and love interests that have exhausted their possibilities. 2. Seek the necessary resources to transform or outgrow a frustrating fact about your life. 3. Name truths that other people seem intent on ignoring and avoiding. 4. Conjure simple, small, slow, practical magic to make simple, small, slow, practical progress.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Falling in love is fun! It’s also exciting, enriching, inspiring, transformative, world-shaking, and educational. Wouldn’t it be fabulous if we could keep falling in love anew three or four times a year for as long as we live? We might always be our best selves, showing our most creative and generous sides, continually expanding our power to express our soulful intelligence. Alas, it’s not practical or realistic to always be falling in love with another new person. Here’s a possible alternative: What if we enlarged our understanding of what we could fall in love with? Maybe we would become perpetually infatuated with brilliant teachings, magical places, high adventures, and great art and music. The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to cultivate this skill.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’m perplexed by spiritual teachers who fanatically preach the doctrine that we should BE HERE NOW as much as possible. Living with full enjoyment in the present moment is a valuable practice, but dismissing or demeaning the past is shortsighted. Our lives are forged from our histories. We should revere the stories we are made of, visit them regularly, and keep learning from them. Keep this in mind, Capricorn. It’s an excellent time to heal your memories and to be healed by them. Cultivate deep gratitude for your past as you give the old days all your love. Enjoy this quote from novelist Gregory Maguire: “Memory is part of the present. It builds us up inside; it knits our bones to our muscles and keeps our heart pumping. It is memory that reminds our bodies to work, and memory that reminds our spirits to work, too: it keeps us who we are.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Controversial author William S. Burroughs was a rough, tough troublemaker. But he had some wisdom that will soon be extra useful for you. He said that love is the best natural painkiller available. I bring this to your attention not because I believe you will experience more pain than the rest of us in the coming months. Rather, I am predicting you will have extra power to alleviate your pain — especially when you raise your capacity to give and receive love.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The planet Saturn entered Pisces in March 2023 and won’t depart for good until February 2026. Is that a bad thing or good thing for you Pisceans? Some astrologers might say you are in a challenging time when you must make cutbacks and take on increased responsibility. I have a different perspective. I believe this is a phase when you can get closer than ever before to knowing exactly what you want and how to accomplish what you want. In my view, you are being called to shed secondary wishes that distract you from your life’s central goals. I see this period as a homecoming — your invitation to glide into robust alignment with your soul’s code.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I suspect you will soon have far more beginners’ luck than you ever thought possible. For best results — to generate even more wildly abundant torrents of good luck — you could adopt what Zen Buddhists called “beginner’s mind.” That means gazing upon everyone and everything as if encountering it for the first time. Here are other qualities I expect to be flowing freely through you in the coming weeks: spontaneity, curiosity, innocence, candor, and unpredictability. To the degree that you cultivate these states, you will invite even more beginner’s luck into your life.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I will never advise you to dim the flame of your ambition or be shy about radiating your enthusiasm. For the next few weeks, though, I urge you to find ways to add sap, juice, and nectar to your fiery energy. See if you can be less like a furnace and more like a sauna, less like a rumbling volcano and more like a tropical river. Practically speaking, this might mean being blithely tender and unpredictably heartful as you emanate your dazzling glow.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Some spiritual traditions tell us that the path to enlightenment and awakening is excruciatingly difficult. One teaching compares it to crossing a bridge that’s sharper than a sword, thinner than a hair, and hotter than fire. Ideas like these have no place in my personal philosophy. I believe enlightenment and awakening are available to anyone who conscientiously practices kindness and compassion. A seeker who consistently asks, “What is the most loving thing I can do?” will be rewarded with life-enhancing transformations. Now I invite you to do what I just did, Taurus. That is, re-evaluate a task or process that everyone (maybe even you) assumes is hard and complicated. Perform whatever tweaks are necessary to understand it as fun, natural, and engaging.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do you have a relative your parents never told you about? If so, you may find out about them soon. Do you have a secret you want to keep secret? If so, take extra caution to ensure it stays hidden. Is there a person you have had a covert crush on for a while? If so, they may discover your true feelings any minute now. Have you ever wondered if any secrets are being concealed from you? If so, probe gently for their revelation, and they just may leak out. Is there a lost treasure you have almost given up on finding? If so, revive your hopes.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian poet Pablo Neruda wrote this to a lover: “I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” That sounds very romantic. What does it mean? Well, the arrival of spring brings warmer soil and air, longer hours of sunlight, and nurturing precipitation. The flowers of some cherry trees respond by blooming with explosive vigor. Some trees sprout upwards of 4,000 blossoms. Maybe Neruda was exaggerating for poetic effect, but if he truly wanted to rouse his lover to be like a burgeoning cherry tree, he’d have to deal with an overwhelming outpouring of lush beauty and rampant fertility. Could he have handled it? If I’m reading the upcoming astrological omens correctly, you Cancerians now have the power to inspire and welcome such lavishness. And yes, you can definitely handle it.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Speaking on behalf of all non-Leos, I want to express our gratitude for the experiments you have been conducting. Your willingness to dig further than ever before into the mysterious depths is exciting. Please don’t be glum just because the results are still inconclusive and you feel a bit vulnerable. I’m confident you will ultimately generate fascinating outcomes that are valuable to us as well as you. Here’s a helpful tip: Give yourself permission to be even more daring and curious. Dig even deeper.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Unexpected mixtures are desirable, though they may initially feel odd. Unplanned and unheralded alliances will be lucky wild cards if you are willing to set aside your expectations. Best of all, I believe you will be extra adept at creating new forms of synergy and symbiosis, even as you enhance existing forms. Please capitalize on these marvelous openings, dear Virgo. Are there parts of your life that have been divided, and you would like to harmonize them? Now is a good time to try. Bridge-building will be your specialty for the foreseeable future.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Many of you Libras have a special talent for tuning into the needs and moods of other people. This potentially gives you the power to massage situations to serve the good of all. Are you using that power to its fullest? Could you do anything more to harness it? Here’s a related issue: Your talent for tuning into the needs and moods of others can give you the capacity to massage situations in service to your personal aims. Are you using that capacity to its fullest? Could you do anything more to harness it? Here’s one more variation on the theme: How adept are you at coordinating your service to the general good and your service to your personal aims? Can you do anything to enhance this skill? Now is an excellent time to try.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Psychologist Carl Jung said, “One of the most difficult tasks people can perform is the invention of good games. And this cannot be done by people out of touch with their instinctive selves.” According to my astrological assessment, you will thrive in the coming weeks when you are playing good, interesting games. If you dream them up and instigate them yourself, so much the better. And what exactly do I mean by “games”? I’m referring to any organized form of play that rouses fun, entertainment, and education. Playing should be one of your prime modes, Scorpio! As Jung notes, that will happen best if you are in close touch with your instinctual self — also known as your animal intelligence.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Can Sagittarians ever really find a home they are utterly satisfied with? Are they ever at peace with exactly who they are and content to be exactly where they are? Some astrologers suggest these are difficult luxuries for you Centaurs to accomplish. But I think differently. In my view, it’s your birthright to create sanctuaries for yourself that incorporate so much variety and expansiveness that you can feel like an adventurous explorer without necessarily having to wander all over the earth. Now is an excellent time to work on this noble project.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You picked Door #2 a while back. Was that the best choice? I’m not sure. Evidence is still ambiguous. As we await more conclusive information, I want you to know that Door #1 and Door #3 will soon be available for your consideration again. The fun fact is that you can try either of those doors without abandoning your activities in the area where Door #2 has led you. But it’s important to note that you can’t try both Door #1 and Door #3. You must choose one or the other. Proceed with care and nuance, Capricorn, but not with excessive caution. Your passwords are daring sensitivity and “discerning audacity.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My second cousin has the same name as me and lives in Kosice, Slovakia. He’s a Slovakian-speaking chemical engineer who attended the Slovak University of Technology. Do we have anything in common besides our DNA and names? Well, we both love to tell stories. He and I are both big fans of the band Rising Appalachia. We have the same mischievous brand of humor. He has designed equipment and processes to manufacture products that use chemicals in creative ways, and I design oracles to arouse inspirations that change people’s brain chemistry. Now I invite you, Aquarius, to celebrate allies with whom you share key qualities despite being quite different. It’s a fine time to get maximum enjoyment and value from your connections with such people.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Piscean friend Jeff Greenwald wrote the humorous but serious book Shopping for Buddhas. It’s the story of his adventures in Nepal as he traveled in quest of a statue to serve as a potent symbol for his spiritual yearning. I’m reminded of his search as I ruminate on your near future. I suspect you would benefit from an intense search for divine inspiration — either in the form of an iconic object, a pilgrimage to a holy sanctuary, or an inner journey to the source of your truth and love.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads.” So wrote Aries author Erica Jong. Is that true? Is it hard to access the fullness of our talents? Must we summon rare courage and explore dark places? Sometimes, yes. To overcome obstacles that interfere with ripening our talents, there may be tough work to do. I suspect the coming weeks and months will be one of those phases for you, Aries. But here’s the good news: I predict you will succeed.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In October 1879, Thomas Edison and his research team produced the first electric light bulb that was viable enough to be of practical use. In September 1882, Edison opened the first power plant on the planet, enabling people to light their homes with the new invention. That was a revolutionary advance in a very short time. Dear Taurus, the innovations you have been making and I hope will continue to make are not as monumental as Edison’s. But I suspect they rank high among the best and brightest in your personal life history. Don’t slack off now. There’s more work to be done — interesting, exciting work!

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I watched as the Thai snake charmer kissed a poisonous cobra, taming the beast’s danger with her dancing hands. I beheld the paramedic dangle precariously from a helicopter to snag the woman and child stranded on a rooftop during a flood. And in my dream, I witnessed three of my Gemini friends singing a dragon to sleep, enabling them to ramble freely across the bridge the creature had previously forbidden them to traverse.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The horoscopes you are reading have been syndicated in publications all over the world: the U.S., Italy, France, Japan, Canada, Mexico, Australia, Netherlands, Russia, Cambodia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Venezuela, Ireland, and Finland. Yet it has never appeared in a publication in the U.K., where there are over 52 million people whose first language is English — the same as mine. But I predict that will change in the coming months: I bet a British newspaper or website will finally print Free Will Astrology. I prophesy comparable expansions in your life, too, fellow Cancerian. What new audiences or influences or communities do you want to be part of? Make it happen!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Author Jean-Dominique Bauby wrote, “Today it seems to me that my whole life was nothing but a string of small near misses.” If you have endured anything resembling that frustration, Leo, I have good news: The coming months won’t bring you a string of small near misses. Indeed, the number of small near misses will be very few, maybe even zero. Instead, I predict you will gather an array of big, satisfying completions. Life will honor you with bull’s eyes, direct hits, and master strokes. Here’s the best way you can respond to your good fortune and ensure the arrival of even more good fortune: Share your wealth!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo advice expert Cheryl Strayed wrote some rather pushy directions I will borrow and use for your horoscope. She and I say, “You will never have my permission to close yourself off to love and give up. Never. You must do everything you can to get what you want and need, to find ‘that type of love.’ It’s there for you.” I especially want you to hear and meditate on this guidance right now, Virgo. Why? Because I believe you are in urgent need of re-dedicating yourself to your heart’s desire. You have a sacred duty to intensify your imagination and deepen your willpower as you define what kind of love and tenderness and togetherness you want most.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Author Adam Alter writes, “Perfect success is boring and uninspiring, and abject failure is exhausting and demoralizing. Somewhere between these extremes is a sweet spot that maximizes long-term progress.” And what is the magic formula? Alter says it’s when you make mistakes an average of 16 percent of the time and are successful 84 percent. Mistakes can be good because they help you learn and grow. Judging from your current astrological omens, Libra, I’m guessing you’re in a phase when your mistake rate is higher than usual — about 30 percent. (Though you’re still 70 percent successful!) That means you are experiencing expanded opportunities to learn all you can from studying what doesn’t work well. (Adam Alter’s book is Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most.)

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Sometimes you Scorpios are indeed secretive, as traditional astrologers assert. You understand that knowledge is power, and you build your potency by gathering information other people don’t have the savvy or resources to access. But it’s also true that you may appear to be secretive when in fact you have simply perceived and intuited more than everyone else wants to know. They might be overwhelmed by the deep, rich intelligence you have acquired — and would actually prefer to be ignorant of it. So you’re basically hiding stuff they want you to hide. Anyway, Scorpio, I suspect now is a time when you are loading up even more than usual with juicy gossip, inside scoops, tantalizing mysteries, taboo news, and practical wisdom that few others would be capable of managing. Please use your superpowers with kindness and wisdom.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Here’s a little-known fact about me: I am the priest, wizard, rabbi, and pope of Parish #31025 in the Universal Life Church. One of my privileges in this role is to perform legal marriages. It has been a few years since I presided over anyone’s wedding, but I am coming out of semi-retirement to consecrate an unprecedented union. It’s between two aspects of yourself that have not been blended but should be blended. Do you know what I’m referring to? Before you read further, please identify these two aspects. Ready? I now pronounce you husband and wife, or husband and husband, or wife and wife, or spouse and spouse — or whatever you want to be pronounced.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “You don’t have to suffer to be a poet,” said poet John Ciardi. “Adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.” I will add that adolescence is enough suffering for everyone, even if they’re not a poet. For most of us, our teenage years brought us streams of angst, self-doubt, confusion, and fear — sufficient to last a lifetime. That’s the bad news, Capricorn. The good news is that the coming months will be one of the best times ever for you to heal the wounds left over from your adolescence. You may not be able to get a total cure, but 65 percent is very possible. Seventy-five percent isn’t out of the question. Get started!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A psychic once predicted that I would win a Grammy award for my music. She said my dad and mom would be in the audience, smiling proudly. Well, my dad died four years ago, and I haven’t produced a new album of songs for over 10 years. So that Grammy prophecy is looking less and less likely. I should probably give up hope that it will come to pass. What about you, Aquarius? Is there any dream or fantasy you should consider abandoning? The coming weeks would be a good time to do so. It could open your mind and heart to a bright future possibility now hovering on the horizon.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I invite you to entertain the following theory: Certain environments, companions, and influences enhance your intelligence, health, and ability to love — while others either do the opposite or have a neutral effect. If that’s true, it makes good sense for you to put yourself in the presence of environments, companions, and influences that enhance you. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to test this theory. I hope you will do extensive research and then initiate changes that implement your findings.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In my astrological estimation, the coming weeks will be an ideal time for you to declare amnesty, negotiate truces, and shed long-simmering resentments. Other recommended activities: Find ways to joke about embarrassing memories, break a bad habit just because it’s fun to do so, and throw away outdated stuff you no longer need. Just do the best you can as you carry out these challenging assignments; you don’t have to be perfect. For inspiration, read these wise words from poet David Whyte: “When you forgive others, they may not notice, but you will heal. Forgiveness is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves.”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Many of you Tauruses have a robust capacity for doing diligent, effective work. Many of you also have a robust capacity for pursuing sensual delights and cultivating healing beauty. When your mental health is functioning at peak levels, these two drives to enjoy life are complementary; they don’t get in each other’s way. If you ever fall out of your healthy rhythm, these two drives may conflict. My wish for you in the coming months is that they will be in synergistic harmony, humming along with grace. That’s also my prediction: I foresee you will do just that.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Many people choose wealthy entertainers and celebrity athletes for their heroes. It doesn’t bother me if they do. Why should it? But the superstars who provoke my adoration are more likely to be artists and activists. Author Rebecca Solnit is one. Potawatomi biologist and author Robin Wall Kimmerer. The four musicians in the Ukrainian band DakhaBrakha. Poet Rita Dove and novelist Haruki Murakami. My capacity to be inspired by these maestros seems inexhaustible. What about you, Gemini? Who are the heroes who move you and shake you in all the best ways? Now is a time to be extra proactive in learning from your heroes — and rounding up new heroes to be influenced by.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Your homework assignment is to work on coordinating two issues that are key to your life’s purpose. The first of these issues is your fervent longing to make your distinctive mark on this crazy, chaotic world. The second issue is your need to cultivate sweet privacy and protective self-care. These themes may sometimes seem to be opposed. But with even just a little ingenious effort, you can get them to weave together beautifully. Now is a good time to cultivate this healing magic.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you don’t recognize the face in the mirror right now, that’s a good thing. If you feel unfamiliar feelings rising up in you or find yourself entertaining unusual longings, those are also good things. The voice of reason may say you should be worried about such phenomena. But as the voice of mischievous sagacity, I urge you to be curious and receptive. You are being invited to explore fertile possibilities that have previously been unavailable or off-limits. Fate is offering you the chance to discover more about your future potentials. At least for now, power can come from being unpredictable and investigating taboos.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I invite you to study the fine art of sacred intimacy in the coming weeks. Life’s rhythms will redound in your favor as you enjoy playing tenderly and freely with the special people you care for. To aid you in your efforts, here are three questions to ponder: 1. What aspects of togetherness might flourish if you approach them with less solemnity and more fun? 2. Could you give more of yourself to your relationships in ways that are purely enjoyable, not done mostly out of duty? 3. Would you be willing to explore the possibility that the two of you could educate and ripen each other’s dark sides?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Creativity teacher Roger von Oech tells how bandleader Count Basie asked a club owner to fix his piano. It was always out of tune. A few weeks later, the owner called Basie to say everything was good. But when Basie arrived to play, the piano still had sour notes. “I thought you said you fixed it!” Basie complained. The owner said, “I did. I painted it.” The moral of the story for the rest of us, concludes von Oech, is that we’ve got to solve the right problems. I want you Libras to do that in the coming weeks. Make sure you identify what really needs changing, not some distracting minor glitch.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Most of us have received an inadequate or downright poor education about love and intimate togetherness. Given how much misinformation and trivializing propaganda we have absorbed, it’s amazing any of us have figured out how to create healthy, vigorous relationships. That’s the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you are cruising through a sustained phase of your astrological cycle when you’re far more likely than usual to acquire vibrant teachings about this essential part of your life. I urge you to draw up a plan for how to take maximum advantage of the cosmic opportunity. For inspiration, here’s poet Rainer Maria Rilke: “For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test, and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation.” (Translation by Stephen Mitchell.)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The myths and legends of many cultures postulate the existence of spirits who are mischievous but not malevolent. They play harmless pranks. Their main purpose may be to remind us that another world, a less material realm, overlaps with ours. And sometimes, the intention of these ethereal tricksters seems to be downright benevolent. They nudge us out of our staid rhythms, mystifying us with freaky phenomena that suggest reality is not as solid and predictable as we might imagine. I suspect you may soon have encounters with some of these characters: friendly poltergeists, fairies, ghosts, sprites, or elves. My sense is that they will bring you odd but genuine blessings.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Some studies suggest that less than half of us have best friends. Men are even less likely to have beloved buddies than the other genders do. If you are one of these people, the coming weeks and months will be an excellent time to remedy the deficiency. Your ability to attract and bond with interesting allies will be higher than usual. If you do have best friends, I suggest you intensify your appreciation for and devotion to them. You need and deserve companions who respect you deeply, know you intimately, and listen well. But you’ve got to remember that relationships like these require deep thought, hard work, and honest expressions of feelings!

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Among all the zodiac signs, you Aquarians are among the best at enjoying a bird’s-eye perspective on the world. Soaring high above the mad chatter and clatter is your birthright and specialty. I love that about you, which is why I hardly ever shout up in your direction, “Get your ass back down to earth!” However, I now suspect you are overdue to spend some quality time here on the ground level. At least temporarily, I advise you to trade the bird’s-eye view for a worm’s-eye view. Don’t fret. It’s only for a short time. You’ll be aloft again soon.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In old Hawaii, the people loved their deities but also demanded productive results. If a god stopped providing worshipers with what they wanted, they might dismiss him and adopt a replacement. I love that! And I invite you to experiment with a similar approach in the coming weeks. Are your divine helpers doing a good job? Are they supplying you with steady streams of inspiration, love, and fulfillment? If not, fire them and scout around for substitutes. If they are performing well, pour out your soul in gratitude.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In accordance with astrological omens, I would love you to experiment with blending the sacred and mundane. Bring your deep self into the daily routine and imbue ordinary rhythms with tender care. Here are a few fun rituals to get you in the groove: 1. Say prayers or chant ecstatic poems while you’re shopping. 2. Build a shrine in a parking lot. 3. Stir up an inspired epiphany while doing housework. 4. If you find yourself in a confusing or awkward situation, dance like a holy person to conjure a blessing. 5. Commune with the Divine Creator during crazy-good sex.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’ve met many people who feel their love lives are jinxed. Often, they believe this nonsense because a creepy fortune teller declared they will forever be denied a satisfying intimate relationship. I hate that! Any astrologer who delivers such crippling bewitchments should be outed as a charlatan. The good news for you, Taurus, is that you are in a grace period for all matters regarding romance, intimacy, and togetherness. If you have ever worried there is a curse, obstruction, or bad habit inhibiting your love life, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to free yourself from it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini comedian Drew Carey says, “If I didn’t run from my fears, I wouldn’t get any exercise at all.” Let’s discuss his approach in relation to you. After analyzing the astrological omens, I believe that as 2023 draws to a close and 2024 unfolds, you will feel less and less motivated to run from your fears. In part, that’s because you will face them with more courage and poise; they won’t have the same power over you. In addition, I suspect your fears will become objectively less scary. They will be less likely to come to pass. More and more, your fine mind will see how they trick you into imagining they’re more threatening than they truly are. Congratulations in advance, Gemini!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I would love to see you intensify your devotion to your masterpiece — however you understand “masterpiece.” It could be a work of art or an innovation in your job or business. It could be a new baby, an adopted pet, a redefinition of what family means, or an invigorated community. Might even be a beautiful alliance or enhanced connection with the divine or a refinement of the best gift you give the world. Life will conspire to help you in unexpected ways during the coming months if you rededicate yourself to this treasure.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Dear Sun, our one and only star: We love you and appreciate you! It’s amazing that you consume five million tons of yourself every second to generate the colossal energy you send in our direction. Thank you, beloved Sun! Is it okay with you if we think of you as a god? You are a superpowered genius of nourishment! And by the way, do you know who adores you the best? I’ll tell you: The Leo people here on Earth. They comprehend your grandeur and majesty better than anyone else. Would you consider giving them extra rewards in the coming weeks? They need and deserve a massive delivery of your bounty. Please fill them up with even more charisma, personal magnetism, vitality, and generosity of spirit than usual. I promise they will use it wisely.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo musician and actor Shirley Manson has a message for you. She testifies, “I say embrace the total geek in yourself and just enjoy it. Life is too short to be cool.” This will be especially helpful and inspirational counsel for you in the coming months, dear Virgo. The wish to appear chic or trendy or hip should be so far down on your list of priorities that it drops off the list entirely. Your assignment is to be passionately devoted to your deepest truths, unique desires, and imaginative experiments.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you’re given a choice to advocate for either a dull, mediocre truth or a beautiful, invigorating truth, give your love to the latter. If you wonder whether you should ask a polite question that engenders harmony or a provocative question that pries loose agendas that have been half hidden, opt for the latter. If you feel nostalgic about an old tradition that stirs up little passion or fresh insight, let it go. Instead, dream up a new tradition that moves you emotionally and excites your mind.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Icelandic singer Björk is a triple Scorpio, with sun, moon, and ascendant in your sign. Neptune is there, too, giving her even more Scorpionic intensity. It’s not surprising that she describes her daily practice like this: “I have to re-create the universe every morning when I wake up and kill it in the evening.” In another quote, she places greater emphasis on the rebirth: “To wake up in the morning and actually find the day exciting is the biggest victory you can have.” In accordance with current astrological omens, I invite you to exalt and celebrate the post-resurrection aspects of your life’s work. It’s time for you to shine and sparkle and shimmer and bedazzle.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I prophesy that what has been lost will be found. What was last may not catapult all the way into the first spot, but it might — and will at least be close to the first. Here are more zingers for you as you move into the climactic stages of the Season of Turnarounds and Switcheroos: A difficult test will boost your intelligence; a rut will be disrupted, freeing you to find a smooth new groove; an unsettling twist will ultimately bring you delightful support. To get the best out of the upcoming challenges, Sagittarius, welcome them as opportunities to expand your understanding of how the world works.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Many cultures throughout history have staged rites of passage to mark the transformation from childhood to puberty. In ancient Greece, for example, kids formally relinquished their toys, symbolizing the intention to move into a new phase of their destinies. In accordance with astrological omens, I want to tweak this custom for your use, Capricorn. I propose that you embrace your second childhood. Fantasize about how you might refurbish your innocence, curiosity, playfulness, and spontaneous joy. Then select an object that embodies a burdensome or unpleasant aspect of adulthood. Discard it. Find an object that signifies the fresh young spirit you’d like to awaken within you. Kiss it, sing to it, and keep it in a prominent place.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): For advice about money, I talk with a banker who sometimes analyzes financial trends using tarot cards. To keep abreast of politics on the ground level, I consult with a courtesan who has a Ph.D. in political science and cultivates intimate relations with governmental leaders. For guidance about rowdy ethics and etiquette, I seek input from an activist singer in an all-women punk band. How about you, Aquarius? Now is a favorable time to take an inventory of your posse of teachers, helpers, and counselors. Make sure it’s serving you well and providing maximum inspiration and support. Hot tip: It may be time to add a new facilitator or two to your entourage.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Now and then, you glide through a phase I describe as Freedom from Cosmic Compulsion. During these grace periods, fate has a reduced role in shaping your destiny. Your past doesn’t have its typical power to limit you or entrance you. According to my astrological analysis, you are now enjoying such a chapter. That’s why I predict that an infertile status quo will soon crumble. A boring, inflexible rule will become irrelevant. These and other breakthrough developments will give you extra leeway to innovate and invent. You will have a big, bright emptiness to work and play around in.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov says war is “more like a game of poker than chess. On a chess board, the pieces are face up, but poker is essentially a game of incomplete information, a game where you have to guess and act on those guesses.” I suspect that’s helpful information for you these days, Aries. You may not be ensconced in an out-and-out conflict, but the complex situation you’re managing has resemblances to a game of poker. For best results, practice maintaining a poker face. Try to reduce your tells to near zero. Here’s the definition of “tell” as I am using the term: Reflexive or unconscious behavior that reveals information you would rather withhold.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Raised in poverty, Taurus-born Eva Perón became a charismatic politician and actor who served as first lady of Argentina for six years. The Argentine Congress ultimately gave her the title of “Spiritual Leader of the Nation.” How did she accomplish such a meteoric ascent? “Without fanaticism,” she testified, “one cannot accomplish anything.” But I don’t think her strategy has to be yours in the coming months, Taurus. It will make sense for you to be highly devoted, intensely focused, and strongly motivated — even a bit obsessed in a healthy way. But you won’t need to be fanatical.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini author Ben H. Winters has useful counsel. “Every choice forecloses on other choices,” he says. “Each step forward leaves a thousand dead possible universes behind you.” I don’t think there are a thousand dead universes after each choice; the number’s more like two or three. But the point is, you must be fully committed to leaving the past behind. Making decisions requires resolve. Second-guessing your brave actions rarely yields constructive results. So are you ready to have fun being firm and determined, Gemini? The cosmic rhythms will be on your side if you do.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Journalist Alexandra Robbins was addressing young people when she gave the following advice, but you will benefit from it regardless of your age: “There is nothing wrong with you just because you haven’t yet met people who share your interests or outlook on life. Know that you will eventually meet people who will appreciate you for being you.” I offer this to you now, Cancerian, because the coming months will bring you into connection with an abundance of like-minded people who are working to create the same kind of world you are. Are you ready to enjoy the richest social life ever?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Author Kevin Kelly is a maverick visionary who has thought a lot about how to create the best possible future. He advocates that we give up hoping for the unrealistic concept of utopia. Instead, he suggests we empower our practical efforts with the term “protopia.” In this model, we “crawl toward betterment,” trying to improve the world by 1 percent each year. You would be wise to apply a variation on this approach to your personal life in the coming months, Leo. A mere 1-percent enhancement is too modest a goal, though. By your birthday in 2024, a 6-percent upgrade is realistic, and you could reach as high as 10 percent.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In honor of the Virgo birthday season, I invite you to be exceptionally distinctive and singular in the coming weeks, even idiosyncratic and downright incomparable. That’s not always a comfortable state for you Virgos to inhabit, but right now it’s healthy to experiment with. Here’s counsel from writer Christopher Morley: “Read, every day, something no one else is reading. Think, every day, something no one else is thinking. Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do. It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.” Here’s a bonus quote from Virgo poet Edith Sitwell: “I am not eccentric! It’s just that I am more alive than most people.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Do you sometimes wish your life was different from what it actually is? Do you criticize yourself for not being a perfect manifestation of your ideal self? Most of us indulge in these fruitless energy drains. One of the chief causes of unhappiness is the fantasy that we are not who we are supposed to be. In accordance with cosmic rhythms, I authorize you to be totally free of these feelings for the next four weeks. As an experiment, I invite you to treasure yourself exactly as you are right now. Congratulate yourself for all the heroic work you have done to be pretty damn good. Use your ingenuity to figure out how to give yourself big doses of sweet and festive love.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio novelist Kurt Vonnegut testified, “I want to stay as close on the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge, you see all kinds of things you can’t see from the center. Big, undreamed-of-things — the people on the edge see them first.” I’m not definitively telling you that you should live like Vonnegut, dear Scorpio. To do so, you would have to summon extra courage and alertness. But if you are inclined to explore such a state, the coming weeks will offer you a chance to live on the edge with as much safety, reward, and enjoyment as possible.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Where there is great love, there are always miracles,” wrote Sagittarian novelist Willa Cather (1873–1947). In accordance with upcoming astrological aspects, I encourage you to prepare the way for such miracles. If you don’t have as much love as you would like, be imaginative as you offer more of the best love you have to give. If there is good but not great love in your life, figure out how you can make it even better. If you are blessed with great love, see if you can transform it into being even more extraordinary. For you Sagittarians, it is the season of generating miracles through the intimate power of marvelous love.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Capricorn author Alexander Woollcott (1187–1943) could be rude and vulgar. He sometimes greeted cohorts by saying, “Hello, Repulsive.” After he read the refined novelist Marcel Proust, he described the experience as “like lying in someone else’s dirty bath water.” But according to Woollcott’s many close and enduring friends, he was often warm, generous, and humble. I bring this to your attention in the hope that you will address any discrepancies between your public persona and your authentic soul. Now is a good time to get your outer and inner selves into greater harmony.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1963, Aquarian author Betty Friedan published The Feminine Mystique, a groundbreaking book that became a bestseller crucial in launching the feminist movement. She brought to wide cultural awareness “the problem that has no name”: millions of women’s sense of invisibility, powerlessness, and depression. In a later book, Friedan reported on those early days of the awakening: “We couldn’t possibly know where it would lead, but we knew it had to be done.” I encourage you to identify an equivalent quest in your personal life, Aquarius: a project that feels necessary to your future, even if you don’t yet know what that future will turn out to be.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: All of them make me laugh.” Piscean poet W. H. Auden said that. After analyzing the astrological omens, I conclude that laughing with those you love is an experience you should especially seek right now. It will be the medicine for anything that’s bothering you. It will loosen obstructions that might be interfering with the arrival of your next valuable teachings. Use your imagination to dream up ways you can place yourself in situations where this magic will unfold.