Jamie Griffin – Memphis Flyer

Kuiana Butler’s voice is a soft monotone. She can’t pose for a photo because she’s too busy blushing and shying away from the camera. Finally she gets focused long enough to complete the assignment. Snap. Picture taken. That sums up the 14-year-old boxer to this point, reticent, yet all about business.

She loves to box. No one would know it, however, unless they saw her in action. Ashlee Frazier certainly didn’t think so when she first met Butler. Frazier is a boxer herself, and administrative assistant at Prize Fight Academy in Southaven, Mississippi. Frazier was the very first person Butler encountered when she entered the facility.

“I thought to myself, she will never make it,” Frazier said of her first impression of Butler. “Her demeanor was just … let’s just say she didn’t have a ‘go get it’ attitude. She was really shy and quiet.”

What Frazier didn’t know is that Butler had already won her first fight, which was convincing her dad to let her try boxing. She had watched boxing on television with him for years. It was their bonding time. She told him she wanted to give it a try. Hoping she was caught up in the moment he ignored her. But she came back again.

So Butler’s father suggested she play softball, a sport where she was less likely to get hurt. But his daughter was persistent. He finally made a deal with her. He wanted to know if her actions would speak louder than her soft words. He told her if she would find a gym then he would let her give it a try.

The DeSoto Central eighth-grader hopped online and found Prize Fight. Butler had some more convincing to do. When she and her father arrived at the gym, Frazier was not the only member of the staff not impressed with Butler, gym owner and boxing promoter Brian Young had concerns also.

Butler was 12, yet she weighed nearly 230 pounds. “I thought she would be a project,” said Young. “Most kids don’t stick with the program.” It is particularly true of ones with slow hands like Butler.

The experiment was awkward from the start. Butler wouldn’t talk unless she was asked to do so. Being one of a short supply of girls at the gym proved to be problematic as well. “She had to learn to take a punch,” said Frazier. “But the guys were afraid to hit her.” Frazier had to figure out a way to calm their fears of hurting Butler.

Although she was about 100 lbs lighter than Butler at the time, Frazier decided to get into the ring with the silent warrior. Butler took her share of lumps from Frazier, who is 15 years her senior. But more importantly, Butler began to learn to defend herself, and to throw punches as well, hard punches. No talking needed. Now the boys had to hit her back in self defense.

Still there was more work to be done. Losing weight took a lot of work: sit-ups, pushups, and running. She changed her eating habits, cutting out foods high in fat. During the process she also began to improve her fighting technique. “When she got her pivot and hip movements down, the hand speed came immediately,” said Frazier. Butler continued to quietly go about her business. The pounds began to disappear. Still something was missing. Unbeknownst to Young, he possessed the missing piece.

Young noticed that Butler’s favorite color was pink — pink shoes, pink boxing gloves, pink boxing trunks. So he started calling her “Pinky.” The nickname not only stuck, it was a game-changer. “When she got the name, that did it,” said Young. “It took a year for to feel comfortable with us. But it finally happened after she got the nickname.”

Butler began to open up. “They are like family to me,” Butler said of Young and Frazier. “I can talk to them about anything.” And that she did. She became more comfortable talking to others, too, and answering questions about her love for the sport of boxing.

Did you fight as a kid?

“I attended a Memphis School in elementary. Oakhaven. I got into several fights there.”

Did you get in trouble?

“No because we didn’t get caught. We would fight in the hideaway spot on the playgrounds near the swing sets.”

If you fought 10 times at Oakhaven, what would you say was your record?

“Probably 8-2, but I didn’t fight that much. Plus I fought kids older than me.”

Did you ever start these fights?

“No I never started them. But I always finished them.”

What were you all fighting about?

“I don’t even remember. Probably nothing. Just being bad kids, I guess.”

Did you fight at home?

“Yes. I have four sisters. I fought with the three that were older than me.”

Did they beat you down?

“(Laughter) Yeah they did.”

You pattern your boxing style after who?

“When I work on foot movement it’s (Muhammad) Ali. Strength it’s Mike Tyson. Defense it’s Floyd (Mayweather). Speed, again it’s Ali.”

She was more Tyson than anyone in her very first fight, which ended in victory before the first round was over. “I wasn’t nervous at all,” she said of the experience. The momentum of the win carried over into the summer. In June, Butler won the Title National Championship amateur series in Holly Springs, Arkansas, in the 178-lbs lightweight 15-and-under division. She followed that up with a title in Atlanta, winning the Paul Murphy Invitational in September.

Butler now weighs 175 lbs and has her eyes set on another championship. She will box in an amateur event in Jackson, Mississippi in November.

She understands she has a lot more work to go and more weight to lose to get achieve her ultimate goal as a boxer. “I plan on being in the Olympics,” she said.

“I’ve never been so happy in my life,” she said while smiling. And never as talkative either.

You can follow Jamie Griffin on Twitter at @FlyerPreps.

The video of former Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice knocking out his soon-to-be wife in an elevator has forever changed the rules in the NFL as it relates to domestic violence. Rice was suspended indefinitely by the league. His was just one of several incidents in the NFL recently.

The prevailing thought is that the NFL was not prepared to deal with these recent crises and, as a result, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s reputation and the league’s image have suffered severely.

Duron Sutton

Other major sports leagues have taken notice of what is going on with the NFL and are trying to be proactive in dealing with domestic violence. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver said he is looking at changing his league’s policy on domestic violence. Ditto for Commissioner Bud Selig and Major League Baseball.

College programs are wrestling with their own issues as it relates to DV. For example, Georgia football coach Mark Richt dismissed defensive tackle Jonathan Taylor over the summer after Taylor was arrested for allegedly choking his girlfriend. Tennessee Vols’ freshman running back Treyvon Paulk was kicked off the team after being accused of hitting his girlfriend, although she did not press charges.

High Schools coaches in the Shelby-Metro area are also now on high alert and for good reason.

A 2011 nationwide survey conducted by the Center for Disease Control and Prevention found 9.4 percent of high school students reported being hit or harmed by their boyfriend or girlfriend within a year of the survey. Their research found that 1 in 5 women, who had experienced sexual or physical violence by a partner, first experienced some form of violence from a dating partner between the age of 11 and 17.

According to the Tennessee Bureau of Investigations, 247,069 incidents were reported across the state between 2011-2013. The City of Memphis reported 59,000 cases in 2012 alone. Juveniles accounted for 10 percent of the domestic violence victims in the state. Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships were noted in 43 percent of all reports, regardless of age.

Several area high school coaches are aware of these disheartening numbers which is why some coaches have used the Ray Rice incident as an opportunity to teach beyond the x’s and o’s in their respective sport. Although situations they deal with may not always be technically considered domestic violence by definition, they feel it is close enough.

Ridgeway football coach Duron Sutton addressed his team after watching the Rice video and reiterated a message he had shared with them in the past. “You’re an athlete,” he told them. “If you’re in a situation like that, run. They can’t outrun you. Your little push or shove could be worse than you think.”

Sutton, who also coached at Kingsbury as a head coach, and Craigmont as an assistant, recalled having to talk to a former player about being too aggressive with a girl. “I dealt with a situation with a guy holding a girl’s arm, holding her against a wall. Fortunately it did not escalate into anything more but I got on him hard because you can not put yourself in a situation where you are using physical force.”

“I have two daughters,” Sutton continued, “It’s not right for anyone to put their hands on my child or any child.”

Chris Michael

Yet domestic violence is a reality for many according to Millington Central football Coach Chris Michael. He believes several teens witness it in their households while growing up. Some have seen it while others have been victims of it. He says it is important for people in his position to understand they are more than just coaches. They are role models who can help counter those past volatile experiences.

“You hope you are a model of good behavior, a father figure, a good representative of what a man should be. Someone that helps combat (abusive) pasts.” said Michael.

Mitchell basketball coach Faragi Phillips can relate. Domestic violence is very personal for him. His parents are best friends and happily married now, but that was not always the case for Phillips while growing up. “I grew up in a home where my mom and dad were violent to one another,” he said. “And it motivated me to not do the same. Plus I didn’t ever want my kids to see me behave that way.”

Phillips said he not only broke the cycle of violence in his own life, but has tried to help others do the same. So when the Rice video was shown repeatedly on television and the internet, he knew he had an opening to drive home his message. He brought his team together to begin dialogue on the topic.

“I talked to them and told them it’s never ever okay to put your hands on a female,” said Phillips. “Never, even if you are pushed. It’s just never the right thing. Remove yourself from the situation. Remember Rice had a chance to leave. He didn’t have to go into the elevator with (his then fiancé).”

The message resonated with his players. Kylan Phillips, the coach’s son and Mitchell’s senior guard summarized the discussion. “As a man putting your hands on a woman is never okay. The strength of a woman doesn’t compare at all to a man’s. And there are so many consequences and trouble that could come from it.”

Sutton echoed Phillips’ thoughts. “Guys have girlfriends and they don’t always get along. I’ve been with my wife for 14 years and it’s never gotten physical despite our disagreements. You just have to agree to disagree.”

The Rice situation also offered other teaching opportunities for coaches with their players. “With so much geared toward social media, everything is magnified especially when you start to get a bit of celebrity,” noted Phillips. “And with (Mitchell) winning the state championship, my guys are more recognized in the community now. I told them people will record more video of you, take more photos, and tweet things about you.”

Michael agreed. “It’s probably something to consider in the future when it comes to off the field stuff. Awareness is always important. And it gives young people an avenue to talk a lot about how things should be handled going forward.”

As for the present, Sutton has advice for how young athletes should deal with situations to alleviate any physical confrontations. “Build your vocabulary. Let your words help make your point. Use your brains not your hands.”