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Opinion The Last Word

Change Has to Come

Tyre Nichols (Photo: Family of Tyre Nichols)

The footage of Tyre Nichols being fatally beaten by Memphis police has haunted me.

Those five officers pepper sprayed, punched, kicked, and beat a defenseless Nichols with a baton. Those who vowed to protect and serve brutally killed the 29-year-old father.

Although I felt compelled to view the videos, I strongly disapproved of the manner in which they were made public. That everyone around the globe was anticipating the release of the horrific videos, treating it like a movie premiere, sickened me.

Five Black Memphis police officers were fired from the department and were given numerous charges following the death of Nichols, including second-degree murder, kidnapping, assault, official misconduct, and official oppression. That a Black man died at the hands of Black police officers was unfathomable to most.

Family members told reporters Nichols went into cardiac arrest and kidney failure due to the vicious beating. The question “Why?” keeps coming back to me. Why was this young, vibrant, creative soul taken so violently by those whose job it was to protect and serve the community? This was an act of terror. As Reverend Al Sharpton said at Nichols’ homecoming services, “You don’t fight crime by becoming a criminal yourself.”

Seeing this unfold in a city I’ve called home for 20 years was different for me. My husband was a Black officer for the Memphis Police Department for nearly 14 years, and I previously worked for another law enforcement agency for close to seven years. As my husband watched the videos, I could hear the sadness in his voice. Watching it hurt. He kept saying they didn’t have to kill him. He questioned the supervision, the training, and wondered if the officers had done it before. He was angry at the narrative the officers were trying to paint of the situation in the video. He wants them held fully accountable for their actions.

While on the force, my husband felt it was his duty to mentor young officers since he was older starting out. He advised them to approach everyone with the same degree of decency and respect, urging them to be careful how they treated citizens since it could come back on them. They wouldn’t be recognized as officers out of uniform or in other jurisdictions, but in or out of uniform the same would apply. He made it clear that he had a family to provide for and an account to God to keep, so he wasn’t going to put his career or freedom in jeopardy. He said some police officers go too far and it’s not worth it. There are some good officers out there. I’ve encountered them. They want to serve their communities and get home safely to their families. Officers like these are willing to sacrifice their lives to protect the public. The conduct of those who have no business being police in the first place has caused a significant loss of public trust of law enforcement. I’ve spoken to former co-workers and other officers since the release of the video. Many are hurt, angry, and appalled by what happened to that young man, especially the Black officers. Some are even questioning if they should continue in law enforcement.

As a mother to adult Black children, it terrifies me that this happened so close to home, literally. Both scenes are not too far from my home. And I can’t help but think it could’ve been one of my sons coming to our house. Or even my husband. I don’t believe I would have the grace of RowVaughn Wells, Nichols’ mother. She shouldn’t have to say her son was a good man. But even if Tyre Nichols had been a known criminal, he still didn’t deserve to be beaten to death. There’s no justification. It would have torn me to pieces if one of my children’s last words were calling for me like Tyre was calling for his mom as he lay there dying.

Were there no rational people around who could have said, “That’s enough”? The only “good” cop on that scene was the SkyCop. The most complete picture of the assault was revealed by that camera. It’s ironic that something constructed with public safety in mind will be instrumental in bringing these ex-cops to justice. Everyone on that scene should be held accountable.

Memphis Grizzlies head coach Taylor Jenkins said this prior to last week’s game against the Indiana Pacers: “Sadly, this is reminiscent of George Floyd back in 2020. We were all in Covid. We were all sitting at home and … had more time to think about it. Whereas now, the world’s still going, and I’m worried that people are going to take their focus off of making change, making positive impact in their city, in the country. When everyone’s clamoring for it, we can’t find distractions, we can’t forget, we can’t let this just be an afterthought in two weeks, in a month.”

This can’t be an afterthought. Change has to come, and it has to come within law enforcement. I don’t have all the answers and I don’t claim to. Like law enforcement tells citizens, if you see something, say something. I only wish someone had been there to stand up for Tyre Nichols.

Sharon Brown is a Flyer Grizzlies reporter.

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Opinion The Last Word

The Threat Business: Russia or China?

The Ukraine war has been a boon to the war economy. (Photo: Pexels | алесь-усцінаў)

For those in charge of U.S. national security, the central challenge is identifying threats and determining how to counter them. The Biden administration has cast China and Russia, in that order, as the major threats to U.S. security.

China is a “pacing challenger”; whereas, Russia is an “acute” challenger. Those rather odd designations mean, in plain English, that the administration considers China, once called a “peer competitor,” an all-encompassing threat, not just military but also political, economic, and technological. Russia has been downgraded from the Trump years. It is a military threat, but not on par with China.

Here’s how the Biden-Harris “National Security Strategy” paper (October 2022) puts it:

“The People’s Republic of China harbors the intention and, increasingly, the capacity to reshape the international order in favor of one that tilts the global playing field to its benefit, even as the United States remains committed to managing the competition between our countries responsibly. Russia’s brutal and unprovoked war on its neighbor Ukraine has shattered peace in Europe and impacted stability everywhere, and its reckless nuclear threats endanger the global non-proliferation regime.”

At first glance, the Biden-Harris paper seems to say that the Russian threat is actually far more serious than the threat from China. Russia, not China, is carrying out a war of aggression, condemned as such by the United Nations. China requires managed competition; whereas, Russia is a belligerent that has “impacted stability everywhere” and poses a global nuclear threat. China, the paper says, seeks to “become the world’s leading power” and has both the intent and the capability to “reshape the international order.” Russia is said to be pursuing “an imperialist foreign policy with the goal of overturning key elements of the international order.” Is that a distinction without a difference?

Despite all the contentious issues between the U.S. and China, they are not at war; whereas, to all intents and purposes the U.S. is at war with Russia, which not only “has shattered peace in Europe” but has shown that destroying Ukraine is just part of its mission to undermine the Western alliance. Those are the reasons the U.S. is heavily invested in defending Ukraine: tens of billions of dollars in military aid, military training of Ukrainians, supply of advanced weapons capable of hitting targets in Russia, and sanctions on Russian officials and trade. In the Asia-Pacific, the U.S. strategy does not rest on war-fighting scenarios but on deterrence of China, marked by strengthening security partnerships, particularly with Taiwan, Japan, and Australia. Engaging either adversary, whether through negotiations or transactions, is not a priority. We worry that Russia will use a nuclear weapon in Ukraine. We don’t worry, according to the president, that China will invade Taiwan, much less deploy a nuclear weapon. The U.S. has brought NATO into the Ukraine war, with allies supplying arms, advisers, intelligence sharing, and financial and political support. But Russia’s supposed strategic partner, China, has not provided Russia with military assistance for the war.

As the war moves closer to its first anniversary, U.S. and NATO involvement gets deeper — more military assistance of all kinds, such as a reported doubling of Ukraine soldiers trained, Patriot missiles, and HIMARS rocket launchers — and prospects for a negotiated settlement with Putin become more remote. In fact, the more successful the Ukrainians are in prosecuting the war, the greater the outside aid to Ukraine — but also, the greater the risk of expansion of the war. If Ukraine’s forces succeed at ousting Russia from more of its territory, Putin might react by escalating the use of force, such as use of a nuclear weapon. An unidentified Biden administration official recently made just such a suggestion. That prospect would present the U.S. and NATO with an entirely new challenge, one that might make them full-fledged combatants.

In the U.S. Congress, one finds declining enthusiasm for supporting Ukraine, but plenty of enthusiasm for confronting China. With Republicans about to control the House of Representatives, its far-right members are anxious to reduce aid to Ukraine. Their line of argument closely follows Moscow’s narrative on the war.

But when it comes to dealing with China, a Cold War-style consensus has formed among House members across the political spectrum. Republicans are forming a Select Committee on China that will assuredly take a very hard line, going beyond what the Biden administration has already decided — such as banning TikTok.

Republicans want Democrats’ support, the committee’s chair (Mike Gallagher of Wisconsin) saying: “We want the Democrats to nominate serious, sober people to participate, because defending America from Chinese Communist Party aggression should not be a partisan thing.” You can bet plenty of Democrats will apply. After all, isn’t TikTok a greater threat to national security than Russian aggression and election interference?

And let’s not forget the bread and butter of the threat business: the weapons and money for the Pentagon and military contractors. The New York Times reports: “Military spending next year is on track to reach its highest level in inflation-adjusted terms since the peaks in the costs of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars between 2008 and 2011.”

In a spirit of bipartisanship that national security always prompts, Congress has voted for a record $858 billion in military spending. That’s $45 billion more than the president requested.

The war in Ukraine has been a boon to the permanent war economy. One specialist finds that U.S. military contractors will receive about 40 percent of the latest round of military aid to Ukraine (about $47 billion). Please note: All these spending decisions have been made with virtually no debate.

Mel Gurtov, syndicated by PeaceVoice, is professor emeritus of political science at Portland State University and blogs at In the Human Interest.

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Opinion The Last Word

Take a Side

A single act can have a tremendous effect. (Photo: Krasimiranevenova | Dreamstime.com)

I grew up in Memphis in a Jewish neighborhood. I’m embarrassed to say that it wasn’t until I was in high school when I realized that other cities in the South did not have as sizable a Jewish population as Memphis. Matzo ball soup and fresh challah bread were staples in my home. My grandparents lived in a well-established Jewish neighborhood of East Memphis. My grandfather would turn the lights off for his Rabbi neighbor on the Sabbath. Some of his neighbors were Holocaust survivors. I remember seeing the numbers tattooed on their arms when I was a child. At Christmas every year, dear family friends who were Jewish, the Segals, would make the entire Christmas dinner for my extended family so that we could spend more time with each other and not worry about cooking. It was an incredible act of kindness and generosity. This was just the wonderful community in which we lived.

Each day I see the rising anti-Semitism in the U.S., and I am horrified. Recently, Kanye West has spoken publicly praising Hitler, supporting neo-Nazi white supremacists, and speaking negatively about Jews. In November, Dave Chappelle hosted Saturday Night Live and opened with a monologue giving Kanye advice on how to buy himself some more time by just saying that he denounces anti-Semitism. Then there is Whoopi Goldberg’s constant denial that the Holocaust had anything to do with race, for which she was suspended from her television show, The View, back in February of 2022, yet still went on to make the same comments in December.

In 2018, we saw an even greater level of hate with the mass shooting at the Pittsburgh synagogue where 11 lives were taken. This is not the only mass shooting targeting Jewish people in the United States. It doesn’t help to have elected officials such as Georgia Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene promoting anti-Semitic conspiracy theories which supported the story that the Rothschild family used “Jewish space lasers” to purposefully ignite the wildfires in California to make way for a high-speed rail system. This is as ridiculous as it sounds. It seems that people have no fear of speaking negatively about Jewish people, no matter how outrageous or ignorant it may be. They sadly have some constituency or fan base that is listening. This sort of hatred is sickening and should worry us all.

Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor and well-known author of Night, won the Nobel Peace Prize on December 10, 1986. In his acceptance speech he said, “We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere.”

We have a tendency not to care about things until they personally affect us, but this is not how it should be. It is easy to think that as an individual, we cannot make a difference with regards to anti-Semitism. We may not be able to change the whole world, but we can make a difference to our Jewish neighbors and friends. In the sacred Jewish teachings of the Talmud it says, “He who saves one life, saves the world entire.” This is a reminder that a single act can have a tremendous effect.

Memphis is the chosen home of a healthy Jewish population. Speak out against anti-Semitism. Stand up for your Jewish neighbor.

Here are some simple tips to show solidarity with your Jewish friends, coworkers, and neighbors:

• Support local Jewish-owned businesses.

• Don’t plan important events, meetings, rehearsals, classes on Yom Kippur.

• Don’t know when Rosh Hashanah or Yom Kippur are? That’s okay. Look them up and add them to your calendar.

• Having a party? Make sure you have acceptable foods for those who keep Kosher.

• Don’t support politicians, celebrities, restaurants, or other businesses that are anti-Semitic.

• Educate yourself about Judaism and anti-Semitism. If you need somewhere to start, Memphis has an incredible resource in the Bornblum Judaic Studies Department at the University of Memphis. A great resource that covers what is going on worldwide is The Tel Aviv Institute (check them out on Instagram or visit their website at tlvi.org), and check your local library for books by Elie Wiesel, Primo Levi, Simon Wiesenthal, and other Holocaust survivors.

Melanie W. Morton is a high school Spanish teacher originally from Memphis.

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Opinion The Last Word

If We Lose the Oak Court Mall

If not repurposed, the Oak Court Mall will be torn down, causing environmental harm. (Photo: Shara Clark)

When it was announced that the Oak Court Mall was to be auctioned in December, I was saddened but not surprised. Malls in general have been on a slow death march for years, and every shooting at Oak Court has made it more of a ghost town than it already was. No amount of marketing lipstick was ever going to return it to its former beauty-queen status. And if not repurposed, it will be torn down like the Mall of Memphis and others throughout the country. Amazon has destroyed the retail landscape, and the pandemic helped to make office space less necessary, so those two adaptive reuse options are off the table.

Whatever will replace the mall is guaranteed to harm the environment. Massive amounts of pollutants spewing into the air as it’s razed, thousands of truckloads to remove the debris, causing gallons and gallons of diesel to be emitted, and a landfill devoted to what is an unnecessary exercise in demolishing a perfectly good building. And it is almost certain that anything resembling green space will be destroyed in the name of increased density.

What I am proposing would save Oak Court and create prime real estate that developers would rush to buy: Move White Station High School to the mall and tear its campus down for residential use. This solution would allow both entities to reach their highest and best use.

As a bonus, developing the WSHS campus would not run afoul of the usual neighborhood association concerns related to height, density, and traffic. That’s because on its west are two high-rise apartment buildings; on its south, commercial development and a church; and on the north, Pecan Grove Condominiums. I’m certain there isn’t a single developer who would miss the endless rounds of neighborhood meetings that delay their projects.

Pecan Grove residents would have few concerns if a thoughtful configuration were created along their southern perimeter. Examples could include things such as making the main entrance run along the northern edge where the parking lot is now, and locating a dog walking area there. In other words, no tall buildings towering over their homes. On the east where the current football practice field lies might make a good location for green space, a pool, tennis courts, clubhouse, etc., so that the owners in Wellington and the lone house behind the eastern edge of the property could be assured of the same privacy as residents of Pecan Grove.

As for traffic, I can attest that having once picked up my own children from WSHS, there will be no grieving by the residents at the Embassy, who would love not having traffic blocked twice a day for 180 days of the year, not counting baseball and basketball games.

What I am not suggesting is another zero lot development or one of single-family homes. What I am envisioning is a Lexington-style complex that would answer the need for one-story homes that offer a garage. If one wants to downsize and remain in East Memphis, there are few options. Zero lot homes might reduce yard maintenance, but there are still gutters to be cleaned, trim to be painted, and stairs to be climbed. Yes, there are plenty of condominiums available, but almost none with garages. And since many of the developments are two stories, you’re back to the stair question.

Downsizing at my stage in life, however, doesn’t mean living in 1,200 square feet and two bedrooms. So I’m hoping that were it to be developed, more square feet would be part of the plan

Many questions remain about the existing anchors of the mall, but there are plenty of adaptations elsewhere in the country that could be used as models. Perhaps the upper parking deck adjacent to Dillard’s could be resurfaced for a baseball field, while the area closest to the tracks, if there were room, could be turned into a football stadium where games could actually be played on campus, with no residents to be bothered by lights. And unlike the current site, there is ample parking for students and faculty. The existing food court could function as a cafeteria, and since the mall interior is already green, gray, and white, no loss of school identity would occur.

And with the ubiquity of school shootings, proper design decisions could make the existing mall virtually impregnable.

So here’s to preserving the mall. And building my old-age dream home.

Ruth Ogles Johnson is an occasional contributor to the Flyer.

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Opinion The Last Word

Dancing on the Edge of Hell

B-21 Raider (Photo: Northrop Grumman)

Two dogs walking. One of them says to the other: “I bark and I bark, but I never feel like I effect real change.”

This is the caption of a New Yorker cartoon by Christopher Weyant from several years ago. It keeps popping up in my head — I mean, every day. Like everyone else, I want what I do to matter, to “effect real change.” What I do is write. Specifically, I swim in the infinity of possibility. Humanity can kill itself or it can learn to survive. Most people (I believe) prefer the latter, which is all about discovering how we are connected to one another and to the rest of the universe. This is what I try to write about.

Then Congress passes another military budget. And once again, there’s the New Yorker cartoon.

“An emerging compromise on annual defense policy legislation will endorse a $45 billion increase to President Joe Biden’s defense spending plans,” Politico reports. “… The deal would set the budget topline of the fiscal 2023 National Defense Authorization Act at $847 billion for national defense.”

You know, more than the world’s next nine defense budgets combined. We have more than 750 military bases around the world. We’re sending billions of dollars’ worth of weapons to Ukraine to keep the war going, in the wake of our two decades of war in the Middle East to rid the world of terrorism … excuse me, evil. As a result, the planet is bleeding to death. Not to worry, though. We still have nukes. How safe and secure can we get?

And here’s Northrop Grumman, presenting to the world the B-21 Raider, an updated nuclear bomber, aka the future of Armageddon. No need to worry. When Armageddon is ready to happen, it will happen smoothly, at the bargain cost of $750 million per aircraft.

Northrop Grumman itself puts it this way: “When it comes to delivering America’s resolve, the B-21 Raider will be standing by, silent and ready. We are providing America’s war-fighters with an advanced aircraft offering a combination of range, payload, and survivability. The B-21 Raider will be capable of penetrating the toughest defenses to deliver precision strikes anywhere in the world. The B-21 is the future of deterrence.”

We’re dancing on the edge of hell.

Is it possible for humanity to evolve beyond this? Prior to Armageddon? Advocating that humanity’s collective consciousness must transcend militarism, and an us-vs.-them attitude toward the planet means lying on a bed of nails. Consider the weird and mysterious act of violence that took place recently in Moore County, North Carolina, which may — or may not — have been triggered by a drag show. Somebody opened gunfire at two electric substations in the central North Carolina county over the weekend, causing multi-million-dollar damage to the power grid and leaving some 40,000 households without power for half a week. While the perpetrator and motive remain a mystery to law enforcement officials, one person wrote on Facebook: “The power is out in Moore County and I know why.” She then posted a photo of the Sunrise Theater, in downtown Southern Pines, along with the words “God will not be mocked.” The theater had a drag show scheduled that night, which, prior to the power grid attack, had been vehemently opposed by many right-wingers.

The Facebook claim that the power outage was meant to stop the drag show may have been totally bogus (and also a failure, by the way, with spectators lighting the show with their cell phones so it could go on). Maybe we’ll never know for sure. But even if the poster, furious about the scheduled show, had simply co-opted a motive for the criminal act, essentially ascribing it to God, it’s still indicative that there’s a lot of poison in the air. If you hate something, don’t try to understand it. Go to war. There was, after all, a mass shooting at an LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs several weeks ago — indeed, mass shootings directed at multiple targets are, good God, commonplace.

I fear that war remains the logical terminus of collective human consciousness. Indeed, war is sacred, or so surmises Kelly Denton-Borhaug, citing as an example a speech delivered by George W. Bush on Easter weekend in 2008. She noted that W. “milked” the Easter story to glorify the hell the country was in the process of wreaking in Iraq and Afghanistan, throwing a bit of Gospel into his war on evil: “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

She writes: “The abusive exploitation of religion to bless violence covered the reality of war’s hideous destructiveness with a sacred sheen.”

But perhaps even worse than war’s pseudo-sacredness is its normalcy, à la that never-questioned trillion-dollar budget that Congress tosses at the Pentagon every year without fail. And the total pushes up, up, up every year, bequeathing us, for instance, that Northrop Grumman B-21 Raider, ready to deliver Armageddon on command.

Short of Armageddon, we simply have armed hate-spewers, ready and ever so willing to kill an enemy at the grocery store or a school classroom or a nightclub.

Understand, love, heal … these are not simple words. Will we ever learn what they mean? Will we ever give them a budget?

Robert Koehler, syndicated by PeaceVoice, is a Chicago award-winning journalist and editor. He is the author of Courage Grows Strong at the Wound.

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Opinion The Last Word

Memphis is My Boyfriend: A Stanky Retreat

Nesbit Park, where you don’t have to make a decision or review a budget. (Photo: Patricia Lockhart)

Sometimes my days are hectic. I’m a wife, mother of four, sister, writer, librarian, fitness instructor, and friend. My calendar is color-coded and full. Once I showed my therapist my calendar, she bluntly replied, “What am I looking at? What is this?” When I told her it’s my calendar that shows how my days are constructed, she was flabbergasted. I literally make hundreds of decisions a day. I’m emotionally, physically, and intellectually present at every job and every endeavor. I listen with enthusiasm to my kids about their days. I even follow up from the previous day’s conversation. I laugh at my husband’s jokes and the reels he sends me on Instagram. And I love every minute of it. I have a good life! No, seriously. I have the life I’ve always dreamed about! But sometimes, my days get so filled and busy that I’m too tired to enjoy the life that I’ve built. Crazy, isn’t it? To work so hard at something only to pass out from exhaustion before you can even marvel at its existence.

In the times where everything seems so heavy, I find myself wanting to be lost, just so I can find myself again. I want to wander around without a serious thought in my head. I want to walk at a “grocery store” pace without any pep in my step. Nowhere I gotta be and no one I gotta see. I don’t want anyone calling my name or tapping me on my hip. (IYKYK … especially if you work with little kids.)

In other words, I don’t want to be bothered by the life I’ve created. I know … First World Problems1.

Photo: Patricia Lockhart

So I go to where time feels like it’s standing still. I go where I can lose myself only to remember what it is that I love so much. Where I can go listen to the birds chirp, the squirrels scramble around, and maybe get stared at by the occasional deer. I take a walk through Nesbit Park2, aka Stanky Creek. Where the only thing required of me, taken in exchange, is CO2.

Nesbit Park is located in Bartlett, Tennessee3. (5760 Yale Road to be exact.) It has some amazing bike and walking trails. It’s a place of peace and adventure. During my first Nesbit Park, aka Stanky Creek, experience, I learned how strong I truly am. It was during a Memphis Runners Club Winter Off-Road Race Series. I’d never ventured inside the park before, so this was a completely new experience. During this 8K race, I struggled through narrow paths, hills, and ravines where I had to use my non-existent upper-body strength to pull myself up. (There was a lot of cheering and several attempts before I accomplished it.) Somewhere along the marked path, I started listening to the birds. At some point, I looked up and around at the trees. I realized that I hardly ever look up anymore. Eventually, I looked down to find that I couldn’t see any of the race markers. I couldn’t hear anyone. I couldn’t see anyone. So I stopped moving, put my hands on my hips like Forrest Gump, and I took a deep breath in and exhaled. And I wandered. I skipped. I frolicked. I jogged. I walked. I didn’t think. I didn’t worry. I just existed. With no requirements, I just existed and lived in that moment. Or moments, if I’m honest.

(Don’t fret. I was never truly lost during this race. An earlier runner had knocked a race marker down and I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t see or hear anyone because I was dead last and very far behind.)

But in the end, I came out better and stronger than I was before. And most importantly, my mind was so clear. Like that breath of fresh air I was gasping for because they cheered for me to run up a hill and cross the finish line.

So now, when I step inside of Nesbit Park, I promise it’s like stepping into another world. I don’t hear any loud music or the steady hum of cars on the streets. I’m not being asked to make a decision, run an errand, review a budget, or even be considerate of anyone other than myself.

Sounds selfish? Well, it’s my truth. As much as I love being around the public and people, I find peace in being alone. I love the way my heart beat feels in my chest. I love the way silence and soft nature sounds press against my ears. I love it as a breeze grazes my cheeks like a soft kiss. I love me and don’t mind my own company.

While in Nesbit, I simply breathe … exist … move forward …

And eventually the heaviness wears away and I’m left with a solid foundation of peace.

1 First World Problems — A term used when First World Nations complain about something that is perceived as small in comparison to global problems.

2 Nesbit Park — Once upon a time, it was the farm of Katherine Nesbit. Now it’s a public trail. It’s also called Stanky Creek due to the smell that comes from a creek. (But it smells just fine to me.)

3 Bartlett, Tennessee — Incorporated in 1866 and named after Major Gabriel Bartlett. Now known as the place where Memphians don’t dare speed.

Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. Her days are filled with laughter with her four kids and charming husband. By day, she’s a school librarian and a writer, but by night … she’s asleep. @realworkwife @memphisismyboyfriend.

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Opinion The Last Word

Mystical Steps

Running had an almost mystical power over the author. (Photo: Courtesy Izzy Wollfarth)

Step. Step. Pause. Breath. Step. Step. Sprint. While wearing only a thin tank top and shorts, I recently found myself running a three-mile race in nearly 30-degree weather. For fun. My lungs felt like a floating icebox in my chest. In my ears, I could only hear my heavy breaths reverberating from side to side. I remember looking straight ahead at the trees and dirt path in front of me, not really comprehending what I saw. My head and thoughts were frozen in time, although my legs were still moving forward. All my body knew in that moment was that I was running. Running seemed to have this power over my body: My brain no longer controlled my movements, and my legs took their own course.

Upon finishing the race, I felt like my legs simply said, “You can stop now,” so I stopped. I was suddenly thrown back into reality, one that escaped me for the past 22 minutes. I had blurry vision and a hazy understanding of what my body just went through. Tears fell from my eyes and my forehead was cold with dried sweat. A doctor might think I was going to pass out, but this feeling was something beyond medical explanation. I didn’t realize it at the time, but running had an almost mystical power over me.

I felt something I never thought I could feel. I steadily came to realize that running has some power over people. This is the power to rise above human limitations and defy the notion that we humans are flightless.

Our species tends to assume we are the strongest and smartest creatures in the room. While scientifically we are the most intellectual of creatures, the notion that we are the strongest is far-fetched. The truth is, humans are fragile, not only physically, but mentally. Physically, we have several limitations on our bodies. We couldn’t even lick our own elbows if we wanted to.

While being physically restricted, people are also mentally fragile and have complex emotions that are hard to fully understand. One feeling that incapacitates us is fear. It can paralyze us in a matter of seconds. Like that feeling when running, when feeling fear, the brain and the body separate. Running, however, offers a relief from that fear, a way that our body can rise above the things that hurt and hinder humans. Limitations are left behind, somewhere among the trees and that dirt path.

Running for pleasure is often misunderstood. I’m often asked, “Why do you run for fun? Are you crazy?” Having more than a few miles under my belt, I am acutely aware and have been on both sides of this question. The “fun” runner usually answers this with a mixture of modesty or the casual, “Well, good exercise, I guess.” Sure, running is a great exercise, but really, running is an escape. When you run, you might not realize it, but you are pushing yourself both mentally and physically. When I ran in high school, I would tell people that running was the hardest sport. There’s no real equipment involved and no teammate that you are face to face with. You are running against yourself. There are actually moments in running where reality’s problems become the driving force in your speed and your endurance. It’s a chance to escape.

Forces that once held you down and challenges that once seemed impossible simply disappear when you run. You can focus on where your legs are going and where they will take you. In this way, you are embodying what it means to take control and make your body move even when your brain might resist. This power, this conquering of limitation is attainable when you run. This is why running seems so crazy to people. When you run, you are attaining a seemingly impossible feat.

While not physically running all the time, I feel like I am constantly being outrun by the high standards and goals of perfection I set for myself. Trying to reach these standards is a constant race I may never finish. Somehow, I’m a minute too late, a few steps short, or too slow to start. The way I escape this is through the long stride, and the push I feel when I run. The feeling that my mind will finally release the white-knuckle grasp it has on me. Instead, the green grass and pavement cushion each heavy step. With each stride, my feet create a rhythm for my body to follow. With this rhythm, I feel strong, empowered, and secure in my own skin.

Izzy Wollfarth is a Rhodes College student and intern at Contemporary Media, Inc.