Categories
Editorial Opinion

Writers on Strike

Unless a settlement of the Hollywood writers’ strike emerges soon, you can expect to be watching reruns of many of your favorite television shows, starting this week.

The first casualties will be the late-night comedy shows, such as The Daily Show, Late Night With David Letterman, and The Tonight Show With Jay Leno. Those programs need fresh humorous takes on news events every day. Without writers coming up with new jokes, those shows are dead in the water.

At a time when writing is often considered by corporate media to be merely “content” to be monetized, it’s not surprising to see writers standing up and demanding their share of the pie. Without them, after all, there is no content. As funny as Jon Stewart might be, he’s nothing without a script, and those scripts come from a roomful of funny folks thinking up jokes and one-liners. As wonderful as that Macy’s sale may be, no one’s going to pick up the paper to read that full-page ad unless there’s something compelling to read.

It’s one of the ironies of this Internet and electronic age that writers — practitioners of one of mankind’s oldest forms of communication — have become more important than perhaps ever before.

Websites and television shows — and, yes, newspapers and magazines — have a never-ending need for material, content that provokes and amuses and challenges readers and viewers. No one goes to a website or a publication just to read the ads. The story is still everything. And the storytellers are beginning to realize it.

Football and ADA

From the Detroit News comes word that the University of Michigan has run afoul of the U.S. Department of Education for violating wheelchair access rules at its famous 109,000-seat football stadium.

The issue is compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) — the same issue that confronts Memphis at Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium.

According to the newspaper, the “scathing report” came eight years after an investigation was launched by the Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights. The so-called Big House was built in 1927 and has been expanded and renovated several times.

Are there similarities between the Big House and Our House? Michigan’s stadium has 88 wheelchair seats, far fewer than the 1 percent, roughly 1,000, that ADA compliance requires. But the university says it has accommodated every ticket holder who has required an accessible seat. The other U of M up north stands to lose millions of dollars in financial aid to students, according to the newspaper report.

Let’s hope the federal government takes a reasonable view of the Liberty Bowl. Michigan’s stadium is almost always sold out. The Liberty Bowl is almost always about half full. There would appear to be enough accessible seats or places to add them if there are not.

But ADA compliance should not be an excuse for tearing down a pretty good stadium and building a new one at taxpayer expense. How many people in wheelchairs are being turned away because of lack of access or seating? When that question is answered and the University of Memphis starts filling the house and tickets become scarce, it will be easier to take the worst-case view of ADA compliance seriously.

Categories
Sports Sports Feature

FROM MY SEAT: Empty Honors

Here’s a
great mind-bender to play the next time you attend a University of Memphis
football game at the Liberty Bowl. Ask those in your party — or perhaps the
entire seating section — to name the former Tiger players who have had their
numbers retired. And a dish of nachos to the fan who can actually identify the
numbers as well.

U of M
football may not be as tradition-rich as the BCS big boys, but the program has
actually honored four players, three for their exploits on the field and a
fourth as a memorial. But even if you’re a Highland Hundred lifer, in your seat
from kickoff to the final tick of the clock for every Memphis home game, you may
be unaware of these players’ names, much less the numbers they wore as Tigers.
Because, you see, there is no sign, no banner, no plaque, not so much as a
temporary flag displaying the honored names. Has to make you wonder how
“honored” the surviving stars really feel.

Associate athletic director Bob Winn clarifies that the players have had their
jerseys — but not the actual numbers on their jerseys — retired. And the
explanation is perfectly reasonable: with more than 100 players on a college
football roster, a team would simply run out of digits. (This, of course, makes
those nachos so terribly difficult to earn. You may see the “retired number” of
a former star prancing across the goal line for a touchdown.)

When I
asked Winn about the absence of a display — of any sort — at the Liberty Bowl,
he told me I was the first person he can remember even mentioning the perceived
void. “We’ve talked about [putting the numbers up],” said Winn. “We’ve just
never really progressed, and I don’t know why. We’ve discussed a ring of honor,
but just haven’t come up with the appropriate way to do it. It seems like
colleges these days will often honor a [current] player by giving him the number
of a former great, or a special locker, maybe.”

As far
as which players are honored, Winn says the U of M leaves the decision in the
hands of its coaches. Which begs the question: How does a coach in 2007
legitimately consider the impact of a player in, say, 1977? A panel of boosters,
it would seem, might be better equipped — and with longer memories — to define
and recognize a past player’s greatness.

The
city-owned Liberty Bowl has layers of protocol when it comes to decor that the
university wouldn’t have to accommodate if it had complete control of the
facility. (Another arrow in the quiver of the on-campus stadium movement.) But
even with approval needed for any permanent paint display, Winn feels like city
authorities would be receptive if a movement for the display was strong enough
and it didn’t defame the stadium in any way.

“When it
was named Rex Dockery Field,” explains Winn, “there was so much emotion about
Rex being killed in that plane crash, that some of his friends just went
straight to the City Council, and it was done. There was not much of a process.”

Here’s a
cheat sheet for your Tiger Football Legends game:


Charles Greenhill, #8
(played for Memphis in 1983) — A defensive back and
former star at Frayser High School, Greenhill was killed in the plane crash that
also killed Tiger coach Rex Dockery on December 12, 1983. He was the first Tiger
to have his jersey retired.


Dave Casinelli, #30
(1960-63) — Casinelli was the first Tiger player to rush
for 1,000 yards in a season (1,016 in 1963). He was the program’s career rushing
leader for 41 years and was honored posthumously after being killed in a 1987
car accident.


Isaac Bruce, #83
(1992-93) — In 1993, Bruce caught 74 passes for 1,054
yards, records that stand to this day (and really haven’t been challenged). With
more than 900 receptions and over 13,000 yards for the NFL’s St. Louis Rams,
Bruce could become the first former Tiger to reach the Pro Football Hall of
Fame. His jersey was retired in 2003.


DeAngelo Williams, #20
(2002-05) — A member of three bowl teams with
Memphis, Williams became only the fourth player in NCAA history to rush for
6,000 yards in his career. He established NCAA records for all-purpose yards
(7,573) and 100-yard rushing games (34). His number was retired in 2006, his
first season as a Carolina Panther.

Categories
News News Feature

Herenton’s Stadium Proposal: A Brief History

On January 1st, Mayor Willie Herenton surprised those attending his traditional New Year’s Day prayer breakfast by proposing that Memphians consider tearing down Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium and replacing it with a new stadium at the Fairgrounds.

On Tuesday, the Memphis City Council received a consultant’s report on the feasibility of a new stadium and promptly voted to delay further discussion of it until December.
Here is a “progress report” on the stadium proposal for the last nine months.

January 1, 2007

Theme: “On the Wall,” the title of the mayor’s breakfast speech.

Venue: Press conference after breakfast at Memphis Cook Convention Center.

Handout. Six stapled-together pages of color pictures of pro and college football stadiums in Charlotte, Detroit, Nashville, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Louisville.

Cost estimate: $63 million (Louisville) to $300 million (Detroit)

Research/Professionalism: College student hoping for a C grade.

Supporting cast: UM’s R. C. Johnson and CVB’s Kevin Kane.

Big idea: Replace rather than refurbish the Liberty Bowl.

Reaction: Say what?

February 20, 2007

Theme: “Project Nexus: Fairgrounds master plan and new stadium proposal.”

Venue: Lobby of City Hall

Handout: Four-page press release and 40-page plastic-covered report.

Cost estimate: $150 million to $185 million.

Research/Professionalism: Five-figure consulting job, Power-Point style.

Supporting cast: Various directors and mayoral staff.

Big idea: Economic development with fiscal restraint. No property taxes.

Reaction: Harold Byrd and other UM boosters push for on-campus stadium.

September 18, 2007

Theme: “Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium Development Options.”

Venue: City Council committee room.

Handout: 136-page report.

Cost estimate: $21 million for renovation to $217 million for new stadium.

Research/Professionalism: Six-figure consulting job, with footnotes.

Supporting cast: Chief Financial Officer Robert Lipscomb.

Big idea: Report covers all the bases, but was “edited” before release.

Reaction: Put it away until December, two months after election.

Meanwhile, the University of Memphis Tigers defeated Jacksonville State Saturday before an estimated 28,000 fans at the 62,000-seat stadium.

Categories
News The Fly-By

The Home Dome?

In the continuing discussion over whether Memphis should build a new stadium or renovate the aging Liberty Bowl, local realtor Sonny Bauman presented an interesting alternative at last week’s Fairgrounds re-use meeting: the original architect’s designs for a Liberty Bowl dome.

After a heated public-comment period in which many citizens expressed concern over the cost of tearing down the Liberty Bowl and building a new stadium, Bauman displayed a picture of a Liberty Bowl model and an orange dome.

Bauman, who served on the Liberty Bowl board in the 1970s, says the dome would protect a renovated stadium from inclement weather.

“I know there’s a tremendous resentment for the mayor wanting to tear the stadium down,” says Julie Gaskill, widow of late Liberty Bowl architect William H. Gaskill. “The feeling [among citizens] seems to be, here we have this stadium that’s known for its great sight lines. Why don’t we see if we can save it?”

William Gaskill originally designed two dome options — one with open sides for natural ventilation and one closed to the outside elements, with heating and cooling systems. In 1989, Gaskill estimated the open dome would cost $15 million and the closed dome $20 million. At last week’s meeting, Bauman added a 2 percent cost increase per year, estimating the new figures at $28 million and $35 million, respectively.

City chief financial officer Robert Lipscomb contends that those estimates are too low.

Currently, Dallas-based consulting firm Convention, Sports, & Leisure and Nashville firm HOK Sport are studying cost and design issues involved with building a new stadium. Their study is expected by July, but city officials have estimated that a new stadium could cost roughly $185 million.

Another firm, the local SSR Ellers, is exploring what it will take to make the existing Liberty Bowl comply with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Though that study will not be complete until June 1st, city officials estimate ADA improvements could cost $15 million.

Part of the argument for a new stadium hinges on how ADA improvements will affect the seating capacity in the Liberty Bowl. The stadium currently seats 62,000, but estimates differ on how many standard seats will be lost for wheelchair access.

Currently, there are only 102 seats for the disabled, but the ADA requires that 1 percent of seating be reserved for the disabled. Each disabled seat must be accompanied by one companion seat, meaning about 1,200 seats in the Liberty Bowl. However, city architect Mel Scheuerman has estimated the ADA improvements will result in the loss of 10,000 to 12,000 seats.

“Wheelchair seating has impacts on the seating behind and in front of it,” says parks services director Cindy Buchanan. “When you put in a disabled seat, it takes multiple numbers of standard seats out.”

Another $18 million has been budgeted for general non-ADA improvements to the Liberty Bowl, such as extra women’s restrooms, upgraded press boxes, and more concession stands.

Asked whether the city might consider Gaskill’s dome option, Lipscomb says it’s too early to tell.

“[A dome] might be a wonderful idea, but we haven’t gotten to that yet. We’re still working on the ADA seating issue,” Lipscomb says. “I’ve put everything on hold until we know. If we’re going to lose 6,000 seats, that’s one thing, but if we’re going to lose 14,000, that’s another.”

Regardless of the seating issue, cost estimates for a renovated, domed Liberty Bowl are still considerably lower than the $185 million price tag on a new stadium. There are no estimates available for the cost of demolishing the Liberty Bowl.

“Memphis has a virus,” says Julie Gaskill. “They seem to think new is always better than old. Tear it down. Put something else up. They need to understand that historic buildings bring dollars and tourists to the city.”

Categories
Cover Feature News

Damn the Torpedoes!

Harold Byrd, suited up to the nines, his mane of gone-white hair crowning his tanned, smiling face, is being hit on by two matrons who recognize him from the Bank of Bartlett commercials which he, the bank’s president, is spokesman for. The three of them are standing in line at Piccadilly cafeteria on Poplar near Highland, waiting to pay their lunch checks.

“Oh, he looks just like he does on television,” coos one of the women, while the other nods with what is either real or mock mournfulness. “And his wife came and took him away from us! Isn’t that a shame?”

At 56, Byrd is unmarried, but he does not correct this misapprehension. He merely keeps the smile on — the characteristically toothy one which, together with his quite evident fitness, a product of daily runs and workouts, makes him look younger than his age — and says, “Thank you.”

Later, as he is leaving the restaurant, Byrd observes, with evident sincerity, “They made my day.” And just in case his companion might have missed it, he notes with a wink the greeting he got from another, younger woman.

All this attention and well-wishing has to be a welcome consolation for Byrd, given the predicament he now finds himself in: Horatio at the Gate against what he sees as Mayor Willie Herenton’s expensive and ill-conceived scheme to develop the Fairgrounds, with a brand-new football stadium as the pièce de résistance.

Justin Fox Burks

Byrd is on a mission to demonstrate that a better solution is at hand, one long overdue — namely, the long-deferred construction of a quality football stadium on campus at the University of Memphis, one which he says would cost no more than $100 million, as against the vaguely calculated sums, ranging from $125 million upwards, associated with the mayor’s plan.

Byrd is more than just another citizen with an opinion. He is a member of the university’s Board of Visitors, he is a former president of its Alumni Association, and he was the first president of the Tiger Scholarship Fund. More than all of that, Byrd — the holder himself of undergraduate and graduate degrees from the University of Memphis — has been, for decades now, one of the best-known public faces associated with university causes, athletic and otherwise.

His annual bank-sponsored pre-game buffets, held at the Fairgrounds before every Tiger home opener, draw huge crowds, teeming with the high and mighty and hoi polloi alike. He is either the host or the featured speaker at literally scores of university-related occasions each year, and there is no such thing as a fund-raising campaign for the university in which he does not figure largely.

Byrd’s prominence on the University of Memphis booster scene rivals that of athletic director R.C. Johnson or U of M president Shirley Raines and precedes the coming of either.

It must be painful, Byrd’s companion suggests, as they head for an on-campus tour of the site Byrd favors for a new stadium, that he now finds himself somewhat at loggerheads with both of these figures.

He agrees. He expresses what sounds like sincere regret that he doesn’t have the kind of impressively remote bearing that he associates with a variety of other civic figures — cases in point being Michael Rose, the longtime local entrepreneur and new chairman of First Tennessee Bank, and Otis Sanford, editorial director of The Commercial Appeal.

“I wish I could play my cards closer to the vest,” he laments. “I guess I’m too Clintonesque. I tell everybody everything!”

Byrd admits, “I may make people nervous,” but, as he says, by way of reminding both himself and his companion, “I think people are still talking to me, I think people still like me.”

Byrd is doubtless correct in that assumption, though there is no doubting that he does, in fact, “make people nervous” — and will continue to, so long as Athletic Director Johnson maintains his public stance of support for a Fairgrounds stadium (one, however, as Byrd notes, that has undergone some modification of late) and President Raines keeps her cautious distance from any particular proposal.

Harold Byrd’s diagram of his preferred site for an on-campus football stadium at the University of Memphis. All facilities are shown as they currently exist except for the stadium itself, which would occupy an expanse now filled by four dormitories all due for demolition, according to U of M officials.

At a recent meeting of the university Board of Visitors, Byrd laid out his vision for an on-campus arena — specifying no less than five acceptable sites.

Site Number One, which Byrd prefers, is a terrain adjoining Zach Curlin Drive on the eastern fringe of the university’s main campus. It would stretch from an open parkland in the vicinity of the Ned R. McWherter Library on the north down to the area of the old University Fieldhouse on the south. As Byrd notes, four dormitory buildings which now occupy the land are shortly to be razed.

“There’s our Grove!” he says excitedly of the available open expanse near the library — evoking the pre-game gatherings of fans on the campus of the University of Mississippi before games at the school’s on-campus Vaught-Hemingway Stadium.

Site Number Two, “which I like almost as much,” Byrd says, is a roomy area along Southern Avenue south of the university’s main administration buildings. Adjacent to an existing athletic complex and athletic dorms, the area consists mainly of parking lots right now.

Site Number Three is the large area that stretches from Patterson west to Highland and northward to Central. “The university owns most of the houses in this area,” says Byrd, and a tour of the zone indicates that, just as he says, most of the edifices, some now used as fraternity houses, many rented out to students, have seen their better days.

Site Number Four is the area just north of Central, partially university-owned, partially requiring some eminent-domain clearance. “I think that one would be more complicated,” Byrd says, though he notes that other university figures, who for the moment are keeping their own counsel, are more keen on it.

And Site Number Five, lastly, is the relatively sprawling area of the university’s South Campus, bordered on the north by Park Avenue. “That wouldn’t be as good as one located directly on the main campus, where most of the students are, but even it would be better by far than the Liberty Bowl.”

Byrd’s enthusiasm for the on-campus sites — especially for the Zach Curlin Drive alternative — is somewhat contagious, but when he made two elaborate presentations recently, one to a meeting of the Board of Visitors, another to an alumni group, there were few among his hearers who were willing to put themselves on the line as being in agreement with him.

“But you wouldn’t believe how many people came up to me afterward and said they thought I had the right idea,” Byrd says. He provides a list of influential people, both on and off campus. “I have no right to speak in their name,” he says, but they are likely to concur.

The first two contacted are much as advertised. Lawyer Jim Strickland, a member of the university alumni group who has launched a campaign for the City Council, is almost as keen on the Zach Curlin site as Byrd is, and Jim Phillips, president of the biometric firm Luminetx, takes time out from a meeting of his board to extol Byrd’s thinking in general terms.

At a recent gathering, prominent developer Henry Turley and University of Memphis professor David Acey were in conversation and were asked what they thought of Byrd’s proposals. “He’s passionate!” Turley exclaimed appreciatively, but the developer, who has interests of his own in the university, wondered where the money would come from. Acey’s concern had to do with space.

Justin Fox Burks

Apprised of this, Byrd noted that the same objections might apply, to greater or lesser degree, to the Fairgrounds site, and he insisted that better solutions were at hand at the university once people began to join him in thinking in that direction. Only a dearth of leadership has kept that from happening so far, Byrd says.

Byrd expresses admiration for both Herenton and his Shelby County mayoral counterpart, A C Wharton, though he finds the former figure a bit imperious and the latter one inclined to be more a “moderator” than a leader per se. He still hopes that both can be converted to a vision something like his own for a regeneration of the university campus that becomes the springboard for progress in the community at large.

“Every other university in the state has on-campus football and basketball sites,” Byrd notes, and he reels off a list of universities in the nation that have in the last few years constructed such facilities: “Louisville, Connecticut, Missouri, Central Florida, Florida Atlantic, North Texas, University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, Minnesota, Gonzaga … Those are just a few. There have to be 20 or more of them. Have we done it right or has everybody else done it wrong?”

It is the experience of the University of Louisville, in particular, that most animates Byrd. As he points out, that school had, until a generation ago, been primarily an urban-based commuter school with an athletic reputation in basketball. As Memphis fans well know, in fact, the Louisville Cardinals were the basketball Tigers’ chief rivals until recently — when they left Conference-USA for richer pickings in the more prestigious Big East conference, where the Cardinals now figure as a power in both basketball and football.

And there, Byrd contends, but for the aforesaid lack of vision on the part of university and civic officials, would have gone the Tigers and their supporters and the larger community served by the university. As Byrd sees it, Louisville launched its Great Leap Forward in 1992 when Howard Schellenberger became football coach and declared that his goal was for Louisville to play for a national championship.

“For $63 million — that’s all — they built a 40,000-seat stadium on campus. It replaced an old one several miles away, kind of like the Liberty Bowl. They’ve just made a quantum leap, and now they do contend for the national championship!”

How much would it cost for the University of Memphis to build a facility that might lead to the same result? Byrd reflects. “As a banker, I contend that we could build a first-rate collegiate stadium seating something like 50,000 people on campus for $100 million.” He contrasts that figure to estimates as high as $150 million for the facility Mayor Herenton envisions for the Fairgrounds.

And how would an on-campus stadium be financed?

Obligingly, Byrd does the arithmetic. There will be so much for naming rights (à la Louisville’s Papa John’s Stadium or, for that matter, FedExForum). So much from student fees. (“They’re building a new $45 million University Center right now on the basis of a modest increase in student tuition,” Byrd says. “Don’t you think students would be totally excited to walk to an on-campus facility? And our fees would still be the lowest in the state.”) So much from signage and from sale of suites and from organized fund-raising campaigns of the sort Byrd is a seasoned veteran of.

The problem, as Byrd sees it, is that the university has historically let itself get sidetracked from the clear and evident duty of completing its on-campus presence, which is what the fact of self-contained athletic facilities would amount to. Memphis’ state-supported university, he notes again, is the only facility in Tennessee so deprived.

With some chagrin, he acknowledges that he himself, both as chairman of the Shelby County delegation during his service as a state representative in the 1970s and later as an active university booster, acceded to the series of athletic structures and arenas built elsewhere — the Liberty Bowl (then known as Memorial Stadium) and the Mid-South Coliseum in the mid-’60s and, more reluctantly, the Pyramid downtown.

“Downtown was always the only other location for putting a first-class facility, where there was an infrastructure in place that could profit from it, but the Pyramid was NBA-unacceptable from the inception, and I told them so.”

Byrd sighs. “The leaders of government at that time were fearful of the taxpayers and more worried about that rather than building the facility like it should have been built. The result was that it ended up costing us more rather than less.”

And the irony, Byrd says, is that the university was then, as it would be now under Herenton’s proposed Fairgrounds development, the prime source of revenue support for all these city facilities — up to as much as 90 percent, and 50 percent even for FedExForum, which is totally under the control of the NBA’s Grizzlies.

“Flying into Memphis, you notice the Pyramid, the Liberty Bowl, and the Coliseum,” says Byrd. “They represent over $500 million in today’s dollars if you had to replace those facilities, and they’re all about to be either mothballed or destroyed. They’re not in imminent danger of encountering footballs or basketballs — they’re in danger of the wrecking ball! They must not have been in the right place to begin with if they need to be torn down now.”

Why, then, repeat that error by rebuilding something else new and shiny and expensive, but doomed to obsolescence, at the Fairgrounds? Byrd recalls city councilman Dedrick Brittenum saying, in a discussion about the proposed new venues, that whatever went in at the Fairgrounds should be built to last 30 or 40 years.

“Thirty or 40 years! That’s no time at all. What we need is to create a traditional site — like Neyland Stadium at the University of Tennessee. That goes all the way back to the 1920s!”

Byrd recalls that the old University Fieldhouse, adjacent to his preferred site for a stadium on the eastern edge of the U of M campus, once served as an on-site facility for Tiger basketball games during the period in the late 1950s and early 1960s when the university was coming of age as a national power in that sport. “What if they’d kept on going and expanded it and built a state-of-the-art facility there?”

He acknowledges having signed off as a state legislator on construction of both the Mid-South Coliseum as a replacement for the fieldhouse and the Liberty Bowl.

“If we’d put them in the right place, on campus, 20 million people would have visited that campus in the years since 1965. What would be the effect of having 20 million on the University of Memphis campus during that time?”

He ticks off several imagined consequences — increased donations, an enlarged study body, a developed social-fraternity infrastructure, a better-paid and more prestigious faculty. In short, a big-league university instead of the perpetually hand-to-mouth institution that is the University of Memphis today.

“We’ve got wonderful programs there. A speech and hearing center, a new school of music, a beautiful library.” He lists several other glories of the university, all, he contends, hidden more or less under a bushel. “When I talk to my fellow members of the Board of Visitors or the other university groups I belong to, I ask them, how many times have you actually visited the university when it wasn’t in the line of duty? It’s almost always very seldom or never.”

Byrd is realistic. He knows it’s too late to create a basketball arena on campus. FedExForum, which, as he sees it, has its own virtues, will serve that purpose. But football is another matter. Not only would it have enormous impact on the university itself with eight football dates a year, including the annual Southern Heritage Classic and Liberty Bowl events, plus innumerable concerts. “As a state facility, the stadium would be exempt from all those restrictions the Grizzlies put on other facilities,” he says. “Altogether, we should attract a million people the first year alone.”

As for the surrounding community, says Byrd, “The mayor talks about using tax-increment financing to redevelop the area around the Fairgrounds. Why not use it instead to build up the area around the university? The only thing that’s been built around the Fairgrounds in recent years is Will’s Barbecue, and it closed years ago. There are lots of existing businesses in the university area. They’ve paid their dues, and they deserve the support this would give.”

Like someone reluctantly confiding a secret, Byrd says, “Most people think the university is operating on a plan, but they’re not. They don’t have the kind of Teddy Roosevelt, damn-the-torpedoes, full-speed-ahead outlook that we had under Sonny Humphreys [university president during its major expansion era in the 1950s and 1960s]. We’ve had a dearth of leadership. R.C. and President Raines are waiting on Herenton. They should have their own vision, to get everybody together … .”

He takes a breath and continues:

“If that were allowed to happen, it would be amazing.”

Harold Byrd makes it clear that he is prepared to damn the torpedoes and go full-speed ahead and to keep on recommending, and seeking, that kind of amazement. And, sooner or later, he fully expects to have some serious company in that endeavor.

Categories
Opinion

Cheaper, Better, Sooner

1) Go to some football games at Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium. Buy a ticket at the gate. Don’t use your parking pass. Haggle with the guys on East Parkway instead. Sit with the ordinary fans at a Conference USA game. Use the public bathrooms at least twice even if you don’t have to go. Buy something to eat and drink but don’t send someone else to get it. Walk all the way around the stadium from the inside and the outside.

2) Go to a special game that draws a bigger crowd. Sit in a skybox. Eat the food. Talk to the other people. Visit the locker room and the press box. Say hi to the poor, suffering reporters in their terribly cramped quarters and see if you can honestly generate one ounce of sympathy for them. Talk to the coach of the visiting team. If you are not a football fan and never go to games, that’s fine, but of course you don’t advertise that. Uh, right?

3) Watch a game on television, which is where most of the revenue comes from. Notice how the cameras are focused on the players and the field, not the empty seats, locker rooms, concessions, or bathrooms.

4) Go to a high school football playoff game at the field on Central Avenue in the Mid-South Fairgrounds. Stand in line for 20 minutes with 100 other people while a single ticket-seller in a cage behind a window collects your $6 and a single ticket-taker lets you through the single four-foot-wide gate that is open. Watch most of the first quarter through the fence behind the end zone while standing in this line. Imagine you rode three hours from Brentwood on a bus. Then ask yourself what the hell is wrong with this picture.

5) If you’re not going to football games, watch Trading Spaces on television. A designer and some carpenters with more creativity and energy than money ($1,000) turn an ordinary room in an ordinary house into a cool room. The owners cry when they see it. Usually they’re glad, sometimes they’re mortified, but either way, they get a makeover on the cheap.

6) Get the University of Memphis and promoter Fred Jones to choose half a dozen architects and designers to play Trading Spaces with the skyboxes. Give them each $10,000 and free publicity. Then get the U of M to hire half a dozen caterers to compete for the title of Best Caterer for the skyboxes. Give them each $1,000 and free publicity. Total outlay: $66,000.

7) Spend $1 million to buy up blighted property near the stadium. It’s a start. Hire a landscape architecture firm to demolish the old cattle stalls outside the stadium and replace them with something that looks nice. Now. Remember, it’s just a start. Then tear down the Coliseum, which has nothing to do with the stadium. This will take a little longer, but it’s worth it. Tell anyone who complains that they can have a free ticket to The Pyramid.

8) Instead of trashing it, try the adjectives “historic” and “different” on for size when describing the stadium and its graceful curves. At 41 years old, it’s younger than Soldier Field, the Big House in Ann Arbor, the Coliseum in L.A., the Rose Bowl, and thousands of perfectly good buildings and houses in Memphis. Think trash into treasure. Make sarcastic remarks about “cookie-cutter” stadiums built on the cheap. Then ask why this stadium isn’t just fine for eight or nine games a year against the likes of Chattanooga and Tulsa and Central Florida.

9) Imitate AutoZone Park and have too many concessions and staff people at games instead of too few.

10) After you do this, invite Memphians to come to the “New and Improved Liberty Bowl Game” and see the results for themselves and decide whether they really need a new stadium in the same location as the old one. Give everyone a free hot dog and a Coke to make them feel good. It worked for Boss Crump.