In a group therapy session this winter at the Oxford Treatment Center, two individuals — one a military veteran, the other a civilian deeply skeptical of the military — sat across from each other. They shared the same space, but the emotional distance between them was vast. Each felt the other embodied everything they feared or resented about the world. The veteran saw in the civilian a person who didn’t understand the sacrifices he’d made. The civilian saw in the veteran a symbol of a system that had caused harm. Yet, through shared vulnerability and open dialogue, a remarkable shift occurred. Over time, they began to see beyond their differences and discover the common humanity that bound them together. Connection trumps division, every time. And this same principle applies not only in therapy but across our increasingly polarized society.
As a psychiatrist, medical director, and complex emergencies operator, I’ve spent over two decades working with individuals in crisis, seeing firsthand how relationships can transform even the most entrenched perspectives. One of the most striking lessons I’ve learned — often in high-pressure situations where the stakes couldn’t be higher — is that when we take the time to truly understand each other, even the deepest divides can be overcome. I’ve experienced this in the Central Plateau of Haiti during the cholera epidemic, where aid workers, government officials, and community members — despite their differing priorities — came together to save lives. In these intense moments, I learned that relationship was the bridge, even when the world seemed to be on the edge of collapse.
This principle is glaringly absent in our current media landscape. Algorithms, designed to provoke outrage, have woven a narrative that promotes division at every turn. The result? We find ourselves more polarized, angrier, and increasingly unable to see the humanity in those we disagree with. But there is another path. When we engage in face-to-face dialogue, when we have conversations grounded in mutual respect, the walls of division begin to crumble.
Consider the diverse group of veterans and civilians I’ve had the privilege of working with. These individuals — some from vastly different backgrounds, some having lived lives that could not seem more divergent — eventually found common ground. Over shared stories, common experiences, and even the same love for certain foods, their dogs, or childhood memories, they began to see each other not as “other,” but as human. The differences were still there, but they were no longer insurmountable. Instead, the connections they formed allowed them to thrive, both as individuals and as a group.
In this fractured moment in history, we are bombarded by voices that encourage us to dig deeper into our entrenched views. We’re told to pick a side — but at what cost? That cost is the loss of connection, of shared humanity. And the reality is, the differences that feel so stark on our screens are often far less significant in person. We’ve been led to believe that our ideological divides are so vast, but when we meet each other face-to-face, we often find that the space between us is not as wide as we thought.
It’s crucial to acknowledge that some differences will never disappear. People will always have deeply held beliefs, some of which may never align. But perhaps the true challenge is not to change the minds of others, but to see that the cores of our humanity — our desires for love, respect, and belonging — far outweigh the ideological labels we’ve attached to each other. We are not defined by our differences. Rather, we are united in our shared experiences, in the joy of connection.
Research consistently supports the power of in-person dialogue to break down barriers. Whether in controlled settings or informal spaces, people who engage face-to-face are often able to hear one another in ways that digital interaction simply can’t replicate. They begin to see past the headlines, the algorithms, and the echo chambers that seek to keep us apart.
As someone who has witnessed the effects of isolation and division — both in the context of addiction treatment and in conflict zones around the world — I can say with certainty that human connection is the antidote. Whether we are talking about veterans and civilians or Democrats and Republicans, we all share the same essential need: the need to be understood, to be seen. Let’s choose connection over division, dialogue over outrage, humanity over algorithm. In 2025, this is perhaps the most courageous choice we can make.
Lucas Trautman, MD, MPH, ABPN, is a board-certified psychiatrist, medical director at Oxford Treatment Center, and contributor to the BBC, Washington Post, and Vice News, specializing in mental health and addiction treatment.