In the photograph to the right you can see an unnamed woman* holding onto a very special volleyball named Lauren Deaton. For those who don’t already know her, Lauren is a Harding Academy volleyball. Go Lions! She was very recently named “Volleyball of the Year” by The Commercial Appeal, Memphis’ once proud, now Gannett-owned daily newspaper.
Lauren’s father Wilson, the sports equipment whose life was famously celebrated in the Tom Hanks movie Cast Away, had nothing to say about his daughter’s achievement. He just sat there in silence, his crimson smudge of a face an infuriating enigma. It was almost like he was saying, “Why wouldn’t she be Volleyball of the Year?” So I got defensive and said, “What’s your point?” But he just kept his silence while somehow also asking, clear as day, “Are you saying my daughter Lauren’s not good enough to be Volleyball of the 
Wilson Deaton
Year?” And I said “no” and we went on like that for some time before Wilson finally thanked me and bounced down the sidewalk. I watched him roll to his Mini Cooper where Lauren had been patiently waiting, also not saying a thing.
As the pair drove off I couldn’t help but think I’d get better interviews if the CA would give awards to people instead of stupid balls. Maybe that’s racist of me. I just don’t know anymore.
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*Congratulations to the actual Lauren. Awesome job! We’re sorry the CA makes it sound like you’re gear.