Verbatim
“The only people at the park on Mud Island at 4 a.m. were Memphis police and the media.” — from The Commercial Appeal‘s report about how media and police were punked by a mysterious group calling itself the “Black Revolutionary Organization.” Earlier reports suggested that a protest would shut down traffic on the Hernando DeSoto Bridge at 4 a.m.
Listed
Mandatory.com, AOL’s man-brand site, made a list of America’s sluttiest states. Mandatory used Centers for Disease Control numbers related to “the three loveliest sounding STDs — chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis” to determine the likelihood that “you will catch something when you bring someone home from the bar.” By this standard, Tennessee turns out to be America’s 11th sluttiest state while Mississippi takes the pole position.
“So Much Money”
“‘I’m very sad to see Juicy J go,’ [Kayce Myers] said, wiping tears from her eyes. ‘We’ve been enjoying the last two days together. I gave him a bath, water to drink, and hay to eat, then let him lay around and be happy.'” So reported The Sentinel, a daily newspaper based out of Carlisle, Pennsylvania, when Myers’ 1,320-pound junior beef steer won the grand championship at the Pennsylvania Farm Show. Juicy the steer, named for Memphis rapper and producer Juicy J, sold for $15,000.
Hell on Wheels
Last week, Fly on the Wall commented on a WMC story about a woman who was outraged because local school bus brake lights remind her of an upside down pentagram.The ridiculous story spread far and wide, as ridiculous stories will. Wonkette’s story was headlined, “It’s the Black Magic School Bus,” while The Huffington Post claimed “Satan’s School Bus Makes Mom Mad as Hell.” It even made MSNBC’s “This Week in God” segment, where it was described as the week’s most “off the wall religion story.”