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Q&A with First Same-Sex Couple to Get Marriage License in Shelby County

Chris and Bradley Brower made local history on Friday by becoming the first same-sex couple in Shelby County to receive a marriage license.

Chris, a nurse, and Bradley, a teacher, have been together for two years, and they had held a commitment ceremony at Holy Trinity Community Church just two weeks prior to the U.S. Supreme Court’s landmark decision making same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states. On Friday, they made their marriage official with a visit to the Shelby County Clerk’s Office.

The news of the high court’s 5-4 ruling came down Friday morning, just after 9 a.m. The ruling overturned a November Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals decision to uphold gay marriage bans in Tennessee, Ohio, Kentucky, and Michigan. That court was the first federal appeals court to rule in favor of a marriage ban.

The split in decisions by appeals courts led the Supreme Court to take on the marriage issue in January, and their ruling finally came down last week.

The Flyer caught up with the Browers on Sunday afternoon at Tobey Park, where they’d just wrapped up their weekly softball game for the Bluff City Sports Association. — Bianca Phillips

Chris and Bradley Brower

Flyer: So you two had a formal wedding ceremony earlier this month?

Bradley: Our commitment ceremony was June 13th. We had a rustic theme. We had Ole Miss stuff [for decoration] at the reception, and our wedding [décor] was burlap.

Chris: We wrote our vows. I had eight groomsmen. He had eight bridesmaids.

Did you plan a June wedding because you were hoping for a favorable Supreme Court decision?

Chris: We’d heard [the decision would come down] sometime in June, so we thought, well, maybe it’ll come by June 13th. It didn’t happen, but we still had the wedding and went on a honeymoon. We went on a cruise, and we were hoping they’d have a decision by the time we got back.

How did you learn of Friday’s decision?

Chris: One of [Bradley’s] friends called and woke him up out of bed. I was out seeing patients. He called me, and he said, “It passed! We can get our license now.” So I went home.

I assumed you two were waiting outside the clerk’s office for the decision since you were the first couple to get your license.

Chris: We didn’t even try to be the first ones. I had a 9-o’clock patient, and I saw that patient. And then I was driving home when he called and said [the ruling had come down], so we went to the courthouse. They told us it’d be 2-o’clock before a decision would be made [on how the clerk’s office would be handling it], so they weren’t issuing licenses. So we ended up leaving.

And then somebody from Channel 24 [who was at the clerk’s office] called us and said they’d started issuing licenses. So we came back, and we were still number one in line at about 10:30. There were two couples coming in after us.

Bradley: If it wasn’t for Channel 24, we would have waited until Monday.

Were the clerks supportive?

Chris: They were awesome, very friendly. They made it easy for us.

Bradley: They were very respectful and willing to help.

Did they have gender-neutral forms?

Bradley: It was the same forms they use for straight couples. They said “groom” and “bride.”

Chris: He had to sign where it said “bride.” I figure they’ll correct that.

What marriage benefits are you most excited about?

Bradley: Taxes.

Chris: I’m just glad it’s legal now. We should have the same rights as any other couple. Being married should be our right.

How surprised were you by the ruling?

Chris: I did not expect this in my lifetime.

Bradley: I knew it would happen. Love is infallible. But we never worried about the marriage part, because [whether or not we could get legally married] it wouldn’t change anything between us.

Chris: But we are all one and equal now.

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Memphis Gaydar News

Scenes From the Memphis Marriage Equality Rally

About 50 people gathered on the front lawn of the Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center Monday night to celebrate the upcoming oral arguments in the U.S. Supreme Court same-sex marriage case that involves a couple from Memphis.

Memphians Ijpe DeKoe and Thom Kostura are plantiffs in the case, and they’re represented by local attorney Maureen Holland. They flew to Washington D.C. last week to prepare for oral arguments, which begin on Tuesday, April 28th. The Tennessee case is lumped with same-sex marriage cases from Ohio, Kentucky, and Michigan, all of which are on appeal after the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld marriage bans in the four states last year.

The Sixth Circuit’s decision was a split from other appellate courts, the rest of which have ruled to overturn marriage bans. Marriage equality advocates believe the Supreme Court’s decision in this case will decide the fate of marriage in the country. A decision is expected by June.

“This is history,” MGLCC executive director Will Batts told the crowd. “I’m not going to quote the vice-president, but this is a big effin’ deal.”

Same-sex marriage is legal now in about three-fourths of country, and only 13 states — including Tennessee — continue to ban it. So far, 65 courts have ruled in support of same-sex marriage, and only one court — the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals — has ruled to uphold a gay marriage ban. That’s the decision that involved Tennessee, Ohio, Michigan, and Kentucky that is being appealed to the Supreme Court.

“Now is the time for the Supreme Court to finish the job on marriage,” said the Tennessee Equality Project’s Jonathan Cole.

Gwendolyn Clemons, co-founder of Relationships Unleashed (an LGBT radio program on KWAM 990), told the crowd that, in order to win equal rights, they must make their voices heard.

“We have to be visible. We can’t hide anymore,” Clemons said. “The only thing that belongs in a closet is clothes.”

“And shoes,” added her wife Shawn. 

“We’re in our civil rights movement. If you’re ready to march, we need soldiers,” Clemons added.

[slideshow-1]

Categories
Memphis Gaydar News

Memphis Marriage Rally

Maureen Holland, Ijpe DeKoe, Thom Kostura

Advocates of marriage equality will gather at the Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center (892 S. Cooper) Monday evening at 5:30 p.m. for a rally kicking off the marriage equality case before the U.S. Supreme Court. The nation’s high court will begin hearing oral arguments in the case on Tuesday, April 28th.

Memphians Ijpe DeKoe and Thom Kostura are plantiffs in the case, and they’re represented by local attorney Maureen Holland. They flew to Washington D.C. last week to prepare for oral arguments. The Tennessee case is lumped with same-sex marriage cases from Ohio, Kentucky, and Michigan, all of which are on appeal after the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld marriage bans in the four states last year.

The Sixth Circuit’s decision was a split from other appellate courts, the rest of which have ruled to overturn marriage bans. Marriage equality advocates believe the Supreme Court’s decision in this case will decide the fate of marriage in the country.

Monday’s rally, hosted by the Tennessee Equality Project, will feature a performance by the Neshoba Unitarian Universalist show choir. Attendees are encouraged to bring signs and posters showing support for equality.

Categories
Memphis Gaydar News

Memphis Couple Will Travel to D.C. for Supreme Court Same-sex Marriage Case

The Memphis couple and their attorney involved in the same-sex marriage case that will be heard by the U.S. Supreme Court were honored in a ceremony hosted by Freedom to Marry on Tuesday afternoon at the Memphis Gay & Lesbian Community Center.

MGLCC Director Will Batts, Southerners for Freedom to Marry Campaign Manager Amanda Snipes, attorney Maureen Holland, plaintiffs Ijpe DeKoe and Thom Kostura, and Tennessee Equality Project’s Anne Brownlee Gullick and Skip Ledbetter

Ijpe DeKoe and Thom Kostura, plantiffs in the Tennessee same-sex marriage case, and attorney Maureen Holland are flying to Washington D.C. this week. The high court will hear oral arguments in the case on April 28th. The Tennessee case is lumped with same-sex marriage cases from Ohio, Kentucky, and Michigan, all of which are on appeal after the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals upheld marriage bans in the four states last year.

The Sixth Circuit’s decision was a split from other appellate courts, the rest of which have ruled to overturn marriage bans. Marriage equality advocates believe the Supreme Court’s decision in this case will decide the fate of marriage in the country.

“We come together today as hopeful that soon the harmful marriage ban and all of the marriage bans across the country are struck down, and the days of married couples being treated like strangers will be relegated to the history books,” said Amanda Snipes, campaign manager for Southerners for Freedom to Marry, which hosted the ceremony Tuesday afternoon.

Holland said there are 48 lawyers working on this case, and she expects the Supreme Court to issue a decision by the end of June.


“My greatest wish for you is that by June, you are as married in this building as you are on the base,” said Tennessee Equality Project’s Anne Brownlee Gullick, addressing DeKoe and Kostura. DeKoe is on active duty in the Army Reserves, and since the federal government recognizes same-sex marriages, the couple is considered to be married when they visit a military base. DeKoe and Kostura married in New York in 2011.


DeKoe said they realize that they’re at the center of what could be a ground-breaking case that has potential to end marriage discrimination across the country once and for all. 


“We’re at the center of this giant hurricane,” DeKoe said. “We realize how big it is. It’s going to be a crazy day in Tennessee and across the country when this decision comes down in our favor. And I’m excited for it.”

Although the high court is expected to rule in favor of marriage equality, Holland said that, in the case that it does not, there is a back-up plan.

“The lawyers don’t stop. We’ll continue to bring cases,” Holland said. “We’ll continue our fight, but we’re hopeful that we will join the 36 other states that recognize same-sex marriage, so Thomas and Ijpe won’t have to continue to engage in ‘Are we married? Are we not?’ when they cross a state boundary.”