naked – Memphis Flyer

Bath Bombs, Bourbon In the Buff

“My husband went back to our carriage house tonight and walked in on a completely naked man just hanging out there. We called the Crisis Intervention Team of the MPD to come convince the guy that he does not belong there and to please leave.

“He had apparently been there for several days and helped himself to some good whisky and a soak in the tub with some new bath bombs. He even rearranged the speakers to listen to some Elvis CDs.

“No harm done, but it gave my husband a good scare. If anyone has a guest house, please check to make sure he has not moved into yours next!”

Posted to NextDoor by Elaine Kerr

The Top Comment Award on this post goes to Bill Denton:

“Headline: Bourbon-Loving Bum in the Buff Bathes with Bath Bombs to Burning Love!”

Bummer Food News

“Onix, at the corner of Madison and Belvedere, has closed permanently. There are now ‘For Lease’ and ‘Space Available’ signs all over the property, which seems to be a pretty good indicator that they will not be reopening.”

Posted to Reddit by u/toftr

“Midtown Crossing Grill on Watkins in Crosstown is closed permanently, effective [August 5th]. Going to miss our little neighborhood watering hole.”

Posted to Reddit by u/de_via_nt

Bartlett Man

According to WREG, “A Bartlett man is behind bars after allegedly giving his neighbors the shock of their lives.”

It’s hard to know what’s sadder about this story, that poor 65-year-old Martin Centobie was out riding his bicycle in the buff — something that’s never comfortable for anybody — or that this was the shock of anybody’s life.

The report went on to note that “after his afternoon ride, the suspect reportedly went behind a wooden fence where he put on his clothes.” Because dressing in front of people would be immodest.

Hello, Boris

Speaking of WREG, Channel 3, in a party-line vote last Thursday, the FCC altered the rules to allow the unabashedly right-wing media company Sinclair Broadcast to acquire Tribune Media.

That means WREG, a Tribune property, will soon be a Sinclair station. That also means several times a week Mid-Southerners will be subjected to the political opinions of former Trump staffer Boris Epshteyn, a man whose informed commentary can sound an awful lot like paraphrased versions of a POTUS tweet-storm. Oh goody.

Neverending Elvis

Last week the Guardian, a British news and media website, ran with this terribly subtle headline: “Constipation killed Elvis — here’s how to avoid his fate.”

Folks who want to know more about that can either Google it on their own or just eat more fiber.