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News of the Weird: Week of 09/28/23

Police Report

In news from Paris, an “experienced climber” got to the top of the Eiffel Tower early on Aug. 17 and parachuted off before guards could stop him, The Guardian reported. The unnamed man landed safely after the leap from about 1,100 feet and was promptly arrested for endangering the lives of others. “This kind of irresponsible action puts people working at or near the tower in danger,” scolded SETE, the tower’s management company. [Guardian, 8/17/2023]

Least Competent Criminal

Sure, Mountain Dew has been compared to battery acid, but one suspect thought a can of the stuff could save her from being fingered as a killer. Fox35-TV reported that on Aug. 5, Nichole Maks, 35, was charged with first-degree murder in the death of her 79-year-old roommate, Michael Cerasoli. Cerasoli was discovered beaten and stabbed in the home they shared in Daytona Beach, Florida, on July 1. Officers tracked down Maks around 3:30 the next morning at a Krystal’s restaurant, where she had blood on the side of her leg and part of her shirt had been torn or cut away. As they approached, she dropped a knife and hammer she’d been carrying; she told officers she often carried such items. Police said that as they questioned her about her roommate, she became “agitated” and asked for a drink; they gave her a can of Diet Mountain Dew, which she poured over her body and hair, hoping to eliminate any evidence on her person. Unsurprisingly, that stunt didn’t work, and her DNA was found on the knife used to kill Cerasoli. She currently resides at the Volusia County Jail. [Fox35, 8/14/2023]

The Weirdo-American Community

TikToker Michaela Witter was on Day 20 of a series she was posting about “100 solo dates” — activities like reading in the park or buying herself flowers. On Aug. 7, as she browsed in Barnes & Noble in Burbank, California, Witter inadvertently captured a stalker on video as he followed her, kneeled behind her, and sniffed her (and another woman) repeatedly. Fox News reported that Witter’s post unleashed a torrent of similar experiences — even with the same stalker. “Bro that same man was crouching behind me and following me thru Marshalls today,” one commenter posted. “The same thing happened to me at Ralph’s in Burbank,” another said. One TikToker had the same experience in the same bookstore. Glendale police arrested Calese Carron Crowder, 37, on Aug. 11, but a judge placed him on probation and released him on Aug. 15. Los Angeles County Jail records show Crowder has been booked there 41 times. [Fox News, 8/16/2023]

Ummmmmm

• Street performer Lino Tomasen, 32, of Havana, Cuba, retired from boxing after a blow delivered to his opponent fractured the man’s skull and killed him instantly, he told Reuters. Tomasen gave all his fight winnings to that man’s family and took to the streets, where the “Ironman” now beats on himself and collects tips. He uses a sledgehammer to slam his wrists, elbows, and forearms for horrified onlookers, but seems to be unharmed by the abuse. “It’s all real, nothing fabricated,” said Edward Carbonell, who watched Tomasen’s “show.” “I want to be remembered as someone who pushed the limits of what was possible,” Tomasen said. [Reuters, 8/15/2023]

• At a sunset “furmeet” on Aug. 12 in Huntington Beach, California, one furry took offense when a man in street clothes started filming the spectacle on his phone, the Toronto Sun reported. Someone in a black wolf costume asked the filmer to stop, then amplified his message with a megaphone: “Leave or we will make you leave.” When the filmer didn’t budge, the wolf hit him over the head with the megaphone. Others jumped into the brawl, which was finally broken up by California State Parks officers. [Toronto Sun, 8/16/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

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Reprinted with permission.
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News of the Weird: Week of 09/07/23

Bright Idea

Pinecrest, Florida, has a peculiar problem: peacocks. The New York Times reported on Aug. 9 that the city has been overrun with the large, loud, destructive birds, which peck at roofs and cars and relieve themselves all over driveways. The solution? Peacock vasectomies. Dr. Don J. Harris, the veterinarian who will snip the feisty birds, said they’re “bona fide polygamists. We’re going to catch one peacock and probably stop seven females from reproducing. It’s going to have an exponential benefit.” County commissioners approved the plan, and city officials designated $7,500 a month to cover trapping and surgery. [NY Times, 8/9/2023]

Nature Gone Wild

Peggy Jones, 64, of Silsbee, Texas, got a little too close to nature for comfort on July 25 as she and her husband did yard work on their property. The New York Times reported that out of the blue, a snake fell from the sky, wrapped itself around Jones’ forearm and started to squeeze. “I immediately screamed and started swinging my arm to shake the snake off,” she said. “I was screaming, ‘Jesus, help me, please, Jesus, help me!’” But the snake hissed and struck at her face, sometimes hitting her glasses. Then, as Jones struggled, a hawk swooped down and tried to grab the snake, which it had dropped from on high, from her arm. As it wrestled with the snake, its talons slashed into Jones’ arm. Finally, the hawk got hold of the snake and flew off. She said the whole incident probably took only 15 or 20 seconds, but afterward, “I looked down at my arm and it was totally covered in blood.” Jones’ husband, Wendell, saw his wife screaming and running in a zigzag pattern: “By the time I got to her, she was pretty hysterical,” he said. Doctors said most of her wounds were caused by the hawk rather than the snake. Jones says that she is healing physically but is still having nightmares about the incident. [NY Times, 8/9/2023]

Irony

An instructor at a driving school in Lakewood, Colorado, won’t be getting a passing grade after crashing a car into the school’s front window on Aug. 8 — just under a sign that says “Learn To Drive.” KDFW-TV reported that the driver, who was trying to park a Hyundai Tucson in front of the Community Driving School, was cited for a traffic violation. Police said there was only one minor injury. [KDFW, 8/9/2023]

Field Report

Divers Ken Fleming and Doug Bishop were searching for clues in missing persons cold cases on Aug. 6 in Doral, Florida, when they stumbled upon an investigatory treasure chest, WSVN-TV reported. “We realized we had 32 cars underwater,” Fleming said. The divers work as volunteers and have a huge database of missing persons. “We have 40 that we’re targeting right now of folks that disappeared, anywhere from two or three months ago to 30, 40 years ago,” he said. Statewide, Fleming said they have found 60 submerged cars that may be linked to crimes. They’ll work with the county to get the vehicles removed and collect and deliver any pertinent information from them. [WSVN, 8/6/2023]

But, Why?

A mysterious man is taking pacifiers out of the mouths of babes in Harlow, England, Sky News reported. The incidents started in February, with the most recent one taking place on Aug. 7. One of the children was also assaulted. The suspect is a young, slim white man with brown eyes and yellow teeth, police said; they are soliciting information from anyone who has any knowledge of the cagey Dummy Bandit (our moniker, not theirs). “As a parent myself, I understand the level of concern,” said chief inspector Paul Austin. [Sky News, 8/9/2023]

Americans Abroad

Sigh. Security guards at the Eiffel Tower in Paris discovered two American tourists sleeping near the top of the structure on Aug. 14 as they prepared to open to visitors, Yahoo! News reported. Paris prosecutors said the two dodged security the night before and “appear to have got stuck because of how drunk they were.” Firefighters were dispatched to collect the men, who were questioned by police; Eiffel Tower management company Sete said it would file a criminal complaint, although the pair didn’t “pose any apparent threat.” [Yahoo! News, 8/15/2023]

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News of the Weird: Week of 08/17/23

It’s Come to This

Cedric Lodge, 55, and his wife, Denise, 63, of Goffstown, New Hampshire, were indicted in federal court on June 14th after it was revealed that they allegedly were stealing and selling human body parts, the Associated Press reported. Lodge was the manager of the Harvard Medical School morgue until May 6th, when he was fired. He and his wife offered a shopping opportunity at the morgue, where buyers could pick which donated remains they wanted. The Lodges would then take the items home and ship them through the mail. The parts included heads, brains, skin, and bones. Three others were indicted: Katrina Maclean, 44, of Salem, Massachusetts; Joshua Taylor, 46, of West Lawn, Pennsylvania; and Matthew Lampi, 52, of East Bethel, Minnesota. Prosecutors say they were part of a nationwide network of people who buy and sell human remains. Harvard called the actions “morally reprehensible.” [AP, 6/15/2023]

Smooth Reaction

When Martin Trimble, 30, tried to rob a convenience store in Durham, England, in May, the shop owner got the best of him: He lowered the store’s steel shutter, trapping Trimble on his back half in and half out, and waited for authorities to arrive. Once Trimble realized he was pinned to the ground, Fox News reported, he popped open one of the beers he’d tried to steal and drank it as he waited to be arrested. Trimble pleaded guilty on June 16th to attempted robbery and possession of a knife and was sentenced to three years in jail. [Fox News, 6/18/2023]

Bright Idea

Self-pitying Belgian TikToker David Baerten, 45, has a morbid sense of humor — or a fragile ego. According to Sky News, Baerten and his family decided to “prank” his friends by faking his own death because he felt “unappreciated” by them. The funeral, which took place in early June near Liege, drew a crowd of friends and family, who were shocked when a helicopter landed nearby and Baerten stepped out. “What I see in my family often hurts me. I never get invited to anything. Nobody sees me,” Baerten said. “That’s why I wanted to give them a life lesson.” [Sky News, 6/14/2023]

Weird Science

KTVX-TV reported on June 21st that snow in the mountains of Utah is turning pink, red, and orange — what scientists call “watermelon snow.” Experts said the colored snow results from blooming green algae, which is found in mountain ranges. “The snow algae produce a pigment that basically darkens their cells,” said Scott Hotaling, an assistant professor at Utah State University’s department of watershed sciences. Basically, the algae turn colors to protect themselves. One young visitor said the snow turned his shoes orange. “I thought that was pretty cool,” he said. [KTVX, 6/20/2023]

You Had One Job

The town of Stuart, Iowa, needed a new water tower to handle its growing population, according to KCRG-TV. But when residents saw the name painted on one side, they cringed. Rather than STUART, the tower was painted with START. Mayor Dick Cook called the social media attention about the misspelling “hilarious,” and the tower has been repainted. [KCRG, 6/21/2023]

Maybe the Dingo Did Eat Your Baby

On K’gari beach (formerly Fraser Island) in Australia, a 10-year-old boy was bitten and dragged under the water by a dingo on June 16th, The Guardian reported. Not two weeks earlier, another dingo was euthanized after biting multiple tourists, including a French woman who was bitten on her posterior as she sunbathed. In the most recent event, the boy’s older sister rescued him, and he was treated for puncture wounds to his shoulder and arms. “These animals are capable of inflicting serious harm … some are quite brazen and are not fleeing when yelled at or when someone brandishes a stick,” said ranger Danielle Mansfield. “Children and teenagers must be within arm’s reach of an adult at all times.”
[Guardian, 6/21/2023]

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

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Reprinted with permission.
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News of the Weird: Week of 08/03/23

Aquaman, Is That You?

A Florida scientist who calls himself “Dr. Deep Sea” resurfaced on June 9th … after spending 100 days underwater. CNN reported that Joseph Dituri, 55, a biomedical engineer who teaches at the University of South Florida, began his research mission on March 1st, when he dove to the bottom of the Emerald Lagoon in Key Largo, Florida. Dituri stayed in Jules’ Undersea Lodge, an underwater hotel, during his record-setting stint below the surface, and he hopes that the data gleaned from all that time underwater will help researchers understand the effects of compression on the human body. “My greatest hope is that I have inspired a new generation of explorers and researchers to push past all boundaries,” Dituri said in a news release. [CNN.com, 6/11/2023]

Time To Buy a Lottery Ticket

Ripleys.com (of “Believe It or Not!” fame) claims that orange lobsters are even more rare — to the tune of 1-in-30-million — than the blue variety. So one can imagine the surprise of Captain Peter Pray, a lobsterman working in Casco Bay near Portland, Maine, when he caught his third orange lobster in a week on June 15th. WGME-13 reported that Pray, who is one of the lobster suppliers for Harbor Fish Market, made his latest catch, a female, using the same trap with which he caught the others, which were male. A tweet from Harbor Fish Market asked the question on everyone’s mind: “What’s up Casco Bay? What kind of lobster magic is happening in your waters?” [WGME-13, 6/15/2023]

Awesome!

Visitors to the Rembrandt House Museum in Amsterdam can now bring home a new, and permanent, souvenir of their visit. The Associated Press reported that tattoo artist Henk Schiffmacher and others are doing a residency within the museum called “A Poor Man’s Rembrandt,” where tourists can get inked with sketches by the famous artist. Schiffmacher calls it “highbrow to lowbrow. And it’s great that these two worlds can visit one another.” The tattoos cost between $54 and $270. [AP, 6/19/2023]

Wait, What?

Employees of Taqueria Garibaldi restaurants in northern California got an unusual — and unorthodox — perk during work hours, USA Today reported. Employees testified in court that a person who identified as a priest was called in to hear workers’ “confessions.” “The priest urged workers to ‘get their sins out’ and asked if they had stolen from the employer, been late for work, had done anything to harm their employer, or if they had bad intentions toward their employer,” according to a release from the U.S. Department of Labor. But the Catholic Diocese of Sacramento said it could find no connection between the alleged priest and the diocese. An investigation found that the restaurants had denied overtime pay and threatened employees with retaliation, among other “sins,” and the owners were ordered to pay $140,000 in damages and back wages. [USA Today, 6/21/2023]

The Tech Revolution

In an office building in Durham, North Carolina, nine scientists are hard at work in Duke University’s Smart Toilet Lab, The News & Observer reported. Sonia Grego told the paper that she and her colleagues “are addressing a very serious health problem” — gut health. The toilets in the lab move poop into a specialized chamber before flushing it away. There, cameras are placed for image processing, and the resulting data can give doctors insights into a patient’s gut health. Startup Coprata is testing pilot versions of the smart toilets in a few dozen households; after the data is gathered, users can access it themselves on a smartphone app. “The knowledge of people’s bowel habits empowers individuals to make lifestyle choices that improve their gut health,” Grego said. [News & Observer, 6/15/2023]

Insult to Injury

Mark Dicara of Lake Barrington, Illinois, allegedly shot himself in the leg on June 12th while dreaming of a home invasion, Insider reported. Dicara grabbed his .357 Magnum and fired — which instantly brought him to consciousness. There was no intruder in the home. Police found him in bed with a “significant amount of blood.” He was charged with possession of a firearm without a valid Firearm Owners Identification card and reckless discharge of a firearm. [Insider, 6/15/2023]

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

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News of the Weird: Week of 07/13/23

Some Things Beg Certainty

Relatives were mourning Bella Montoya, 76, at her wake in Ecuador on June 9 when they heard strange sounds coming from the coffin. “There were about 20 of us there,” the woman’s son Gilberto Barbera said. “After about five hours of the wake, the coffin started to make sounds.” The supposedly deceased had been declared dead in the Martin Icaza Hospital in Babahoyo earlier that day, but that evening, “my mom was wrapped in sheets and hitting the coffin, and when we approached we could see that she was breathing heavily,” Barbera said. Montoya was rushed back to the hospital, but the Associated Press reported that she was intubated and was not expected to recover. Ecuador’s Health Ministry launched an investigation into the incident. [AP, 6/12/2023]

A Bear’s Gotta Eat

Workers for American Plate Glass in Sunapee, New Hampshire, learned an important lesson about locking up their valuables on June 14, but it wasn’t at the hands of the typical thief, and the valuables weren’t the usual tools or construction materials. Curtis Fidler was working on-site when he noticed movement in his peripheral vision: “I turn and it was a bear nonchalantly just having lunch in the front seat of the truck.” The bear enjoyed all of the snacks it could find, left the truck, and disappeared into the woods. Fidler FaceTimed his mother-in-law Melinda Scott, who watched the encounter live and later told WHDH-7 News that “[t]here is not a single scratch on the box truck. He did no damage. He just had lunch and took a nap.” [WHDH-7, 6/15/2023]

The Agony of the Heat

The hopes of Hong Kong residents were slightly deflated on June 9, as a long-awaited art installation in Victoria Harbour lost steam. Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman’s giant rubber ducky installation, which tours cities around the world and captured the affections of Bangkok residents when it visited there back in 2013, returned to the city last month, this time with two giant rubber duckies, which the artist said would bring “double luck.” Unfortunately, Yahoo News reported that rising temperatures put one ducky — and residents — at risk. The “rubber duck skin had become strained because the hot weather has caused air pressure to rise,” organizers said in a statement. They deflated the duck as a precaution. [Yahoo News, 6/3/2023]

Two Paws Up, Way Up

Theatergoers in Thailand have a new pet-friendly place to bring their furry friends. Yahoo News reported that the country’s largest movie theater chain, Major Cineplex Group, started offering weekend showtimes for patrons who want to bring Fluffy or Fido with them. Of course, there’s a catch: Pets must weigh under 11 pounds and either wear a diaper or be kept in a carrier. Visitors turned out in droves for a pets-welcome showing of The Little Mermaid, cosplaying their creature companions as Sebastian the crab and Ariel the mermaid. Not everyone’s a fan, however; as one former resident said, “It’s so ridiculous dogs are not allowed in [most Bangkok] parks but they can go to a movie or cafe. What comes next, you bring your dog or cat to a massage parlor?” [Yahoo News, 6/10/2023]

I Hope That Someone Gets My …

Almost exactly 34 years after it was thrown into the sea in Newfoundland, a message in a bottle was recovered in Quebec. “I was so excited. I mean, what I’m looking for all the time is a note in a bottle,” Trudy Shattler told SaltWire of her discovery. After some social media sleuthing, she learned that the bottle belonged to one Gilbert Hamlyn, who was known for writing messages on cigarette packs, stuffing them in bottles, and setting them to sea. Sadly, Hamlyn passed away two years ago, but his son Rick was all too happy to hear of the bottle’s recovery, and intends to place it at his father’s grave. [SaltWire, 6/13/2023]

Money Movers

Police in Clintonville, Ohio, are on the hunt after brazen thieves used a U-Haul truck to rip a safe out of a drive-thru ATM in the early hours of June 15. WCMH-TV reported that the suspects used a chain secured to the truck to pull the safe free of the machine, then absconded in a getaway vehicle, leaving the U-Haul behind. Authorities had no description of the other vehicle or how much money the thieves stole, but they believe at least two suspects were involved. [WCMH-TV, 6/15/2023]

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News of the Weird: Week of 07/06/23

Awesome!

Ethan Brown, 16, a junior at Jericho High School on Long Island, New York, is a hero among his classmates, the New York Post reported. Brown argued before the school board in March that his highly ranked school had 186 days in session — six more than the state’s required 180 — and that summer vacation ought to begin on Friday, May 26. “I was nervous, especially at first,” Brown said. “I almost sat back down before speaking but I’m glad I didn’t.” He noted that on a stormy day in February, the school did not close, and not a single snow day was used during the year. Superintendent Hank Grisham said Brown “did an absolutely incredible job. There is no requirement to give … snow days back to staff or the kids.” But the board was moved, and a day off was granted — dubbed the Ethan Brown Snow Day. “I’m getting a lot of thank-yous,” Brown said. In his upcoming senior year, he’s in line to take over the editor-in-chief position at the school newspaper. [NY Post, 5/25/2023]

Thong and Cheek

Protesters at the Massachusetts Statehouse bared more than their souls as they demonstrated against climate change on June 15, according to an NBC-10 Boston report. Shouts began to rain down from the public gallery just after 1 p.m. from eight members of Extinction Rebellion, an international environmental movement, followed by a warning: “We are going to be mooning you. … You can look away if you wish.” At that point, the octet turned their backs on the senators and dropped trou, revealing pink thongs and bare buttocks emblazoned with the words “stop passing gas.” The protesters continued with chants of “You’re a senator, not an ass, why are you still passing gas,” and “Butts out for climate” for about an hour before they were arrested and escorted out of the chamber. [NBC 10 Boston, 6/15/2023]

Reunited and It Feels So Good

• A first edition of George Orwell’s 1984 has been returned to the library … 65 years late. UPI reported that the Multnomah County Library in Portland recently received the return from an 86-year-old patron. The patron attached a note to the book, explaining that they meant to return it in 1958 after checking it out as a Portland State University student — they just “never got around to it.” But talk about excellent timing: The library just went fine-free. [UPI, 6/14/2023]

• Sheriff’s detectives in Kanawha County, West Virginia, made an odd discovery while executing a search warrant on an impounded vehicle in February: a 1965 class ring from Needham B. Broughton High School in Raleigh, North Carolina, bearing the initials “M.P.” Their investigation determined the owner was one Michael Pedneau, who told the Charleston (West Virginia) Gazette-Mail that he only vaguely recalls losing the bling some 50 years ago, perhaps on a trip to Princeton, West Virginia. “There’s probably 40 or 50 of us [classmates] who get together monthly for lunch,” Pedneau said. “We’re all old, so we enjoy swapping stories, and this is one I’ll share with them. I’ll show them the ring and we’ll have some fun around it.” [Charleston Gazette-Mail, 6/13/2023]

Up in Smoke

A dispensary in Baltimore faces fines for blowing smoke … literally. WMAR-2 in Baltimore reported that the Cookies dispensary opened May 27, only to be shut down less than a week later after a surprise inspection revealed a laundry list of violations, including “large plumes of medical cannabis smoke being blown from a large gun apparatus into the mouths of persons outside the dispensary,” according to the suspension notice. Cookies is part of a franchise, and Cookies San Francisco was the first to utilize a “Flame Thrower” smoke blower, created by Jeff Dick of Colorado. The blower has since become part of the Cookies brand. [WMAR-2, 6/15/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
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News of the Weird: Week of 06/29/23

Weird Science

Spring weather can be unpredictable, but a man in Ankara, Turkey, got an up-close glimpse of exactly what intense winds can do on May 17, Metro News reported. As Onur Kalmaz looked out his window, trying to check on his car during the storm, he captured on video a sofa flying from a balcony of a 35-story block of apartments nearby. Kalmaz said the sofa crashed into other buildings before falling to the ground. “No one was hurt, but we were pretty scared,” he said. [Metro News, 5/18/2023]

Illustration: Jeanne Seagle

Clothing Optional

• After crashing his truck into a Volusia, Florida, utility pole around 2 a.m. on May 21, completely severing it, 39-year-old Kevin Gardner did the obvious thing: He took off all his clothes and started banging on the front door of a home nearby. ClickOrlando reported that when officers arrived at the home, Gardner had injuries on his face and legs. The truck was registered to him, but he said it had been stolen … and that he’d had seizures and didn’t remember anything. A breath test revealed an illegal blood-alcohol content, and Gardner was held on multiple charges. [ClickOrlando, 5/23/2023]

• In Georgia, residents can now use a digital driver’s license, which can be uploaded to Apple Wallet and allows users to leave their IDs in their bag or pocket at TSA checkpoints. But, as United Press International reported, snapping a selfie for the ID comes with a few rules. “Attention, lovely people of the digital era,” the Georgia Department of Driver Services posted on its Facebook page on May 23. “Please take pictures with your clothes on when submitting them for your Digital Driver’s License and ID. Cheers to technology and keeping things classy!” Put your shirt on. [UPI, 5/25/2023]

The Passing Parade

High school seniors in Marlin, Texas, are getting a few extra days of school tacked on, KWTX-TV reported on May 23. The reason: Twenty-eight of the 33 seniors — about 85 percent — were not eligible to graduate, according to an audit performed by the Marlin Independent School District because they had failed or neglected to complete a course or they had too many absences. The ceremony, originally scheduled for May 25, will take place sometime in June. “They told us that because of the students that didn’t meet the requirements, it wouldn’t be fair for only five students to walk the stage,” said Alondra Alvarado, who is eligible to graduate. Victoria Banda, whose son did not meet the requirements, said they were given very little notice about the change in plans. They had family “traveling in from Mexico” for the original ceremony — “and if anyone knows, it’s not cheap,” she said. Administrators hope the extra time will allow the majority of students to meet the state’s requirements. [KWTX, 5/23/2023]

Florida

• When the Brevard (Florida) Public Schools board met on May 9, the topic of dress codes came up, but it went way beyond hoodies and beachwear, ClickOrlando reported. Vice chair Megan Wright told board members that she has heard concerns about students dressing up as “furries” — people who anthropomorphize animals. District 5 Representative Katye Campbell weighed in: “I’m not a big fan of the furry movement, but … if ‘ears’ means a headband with pointed ears on them, it’s a hair accessory. Tails are different, and students meowing and barking at other students — that’s not cool. But that’s not dress code.” Chairman Matt Susin said his daughter is “tired of furries” at school and the subject comes up at least once a month at his dinner table. Leave it to District 3 Representative Jennifer Jenkins to cut through the kitty litter: “This is not rocket science … If you don’t want tails on kids, just say you don’t want tails.” She said among middle school students, the new thing is barking and meowing at each other, unrelated to furry costumes: “It’s weird, but they’re doing it.” [ClickOrlando, 5/11/2023]

• Omar Gutierrez, 32, of Gainesville, Florida, donned a cat costume before plunging a knife into his roommate’s neck on May 22, WCJB-TV reported. When the victim asked why he stabbed him, Gutierrez said, “It was instinctual.” Police reported that Gutierrez had told the victim a week earlier that he was “not above killing” him; Gutierrez had claimed that the roommate had hurt his cat, although he denied it. Gutierrez was charged with first-degree attempted murder — because, you know, he had to plan the costume. [WCJB, 5/24/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
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News of the Weird: Week of 06/22/23

You Had One Job

Residents in Halethorpe, Maryland, are frustrated with the progress of a new bridge on U.S. Route 1, WBAL-TV reported. They’ve been waiting for months for the bridge to fully open, but a tiny error stands in the way. The bridge crosses over CSX railroad tracks, which require a minimum of 23 feet of vertical clearance, and it was built 1.5 inches too short. CSX has halted the remaining construction to complete the bridge, according to a Maryland Department of Transportation engineer. “I understand you get hiccups, but … this is not a hiccup. This is a mistake. Somebody needs to be held accountable and it needs to be taken care of,” said resident Desiree Collins. “You have engineers. This should not have happened.” The State Highway Administration now estimates completion in late 2023 or early 2024. [WBAL, 5/23/2023]

The Happiest Place on Earth

Two families went at each other on May 15 at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, Fox35-TV reported — all over who could stand next to a sign commemorating the 100th anniversary of the Disney Co. According to police, one family was standing in front of the sign when another group wanted to snap a photo. When the second group asked the first to step aside, punches were thrown. At least one person was treated for injuries at the site, but they didn’t want to press charges. Two people were removed from the park. [Fox35, 5/16/2023]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

When a 36-year-old woman in Providence, Rhode Island, couldn’t afford conventional dental care for her painful teeth, a friend recommended “Yorki,” WPRI-TV reported on May 18. The woman contacted Altagracia Yorquis Adames, 57, and went to her home basement “dental practice.” There, Yorki allegedly removed instruments from a dresser drawer — some that were visibly rusty — then numbed the victim’s molar and pulled on it until it came out. She then numbed and drilled on the patient’s front teeth. Later that night, when her pain worsened, she texted with Yorki, who told her to take painkillers and ice her mouth. The next day, the victim checked into a hospital and was told she was “very sick.” Police said Yorki was a licensed dentist in the Dominican Republic but not licensed in Rhode Island; she is due back in court in August. [WPRI, 5/18/2023]

Ewwwww!

A visitor at Wonderland amusement park in Toronto, Ontario, was filled with more than wonder as he rode the Leviathan roller coaster on May 16, the Toronto Sun reported. Hubert Hsu of Toronto said as his coaster car neared the top of one of the ride’s loops, it collided with a bird — possibly a pigeon. “I looked down and saw blood on my hands and my face,” Hsu said. “There was a feather on my hand, and feathers on the girl next to me’s shirt. It seemed like the coaster car hit the bird and then it sort of exploded on us.” Hsu said attendants gave them a roll of industrial brown paper towels, and he ended up washing up in a restroom. “The kids who work in the park seemed like they had no idea what to do, and that might be an issue,” he added. [Toronto Sun, 5/19/2023]

It’s Come to This

Two Louisville, Kentucky, roommates got into a heated dispute at their home on May 20, The Charlotte Observer reported, over an unlikely subject: Hot Pockets. Clifton Williams, 64, was charged with second-degree assault after he allegedly shot the victim. Williams “got mad he ate the last Hot Pocket and began throwing tiles at him,” police said. When the victim moved to leave the home, Williams retrieved a firearm and shot the man in the posterior. He remains in the custody of Louisville Metro Corrections. [The Charlotte Observer, 5/23/2023]

News You Can Use

Beer. Need we say more? Okay, there’s more. Researchers examining paintings from the Dutch Golden Age have discovered that artists preparing their canvases often used discarded material from local breweries, the Associated Press reported. They found traces of yeast, wheat, rye, and barley, which would have been spread as a paste over the canvas to prevent the paint from seeping through. Scientists believe the Danish Academy of Fine Arts bought leftover mash from breweries and used it to ready canvases for artists such as Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg and Christen Schiellerup Købke. [AP, 5/24/2023]

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© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
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Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 06/15/23

Extreme Measures

In vino, vie … or something like that. Lillian Ip of Cheltenham, Australia, was stranded in the country’s remote bushland for five days in late April after she took a wrong turn and became stuck in mud, United Press International reported. Sgt. Martin Torpey of the Wodonga police said Ip had planned just a day trip, “so she had taken a couple of snacks and lollies with her, but no water. The only liquid Lillian, who doesn’t drink, had with her was a bottle of wine she had bought as a gift for her mother.” Without cell service, Ip couldn’t call for help. Her family notified police about her absence, and a four-day search over the region included helicopters. Finally, Ip was spotted waving her arms, and police were directed to her location. “I thought I was going to die there,” she said. [UPI, 5/9/2023]

Unclear on the Concept

When cake-baker Brianna Romero of El Paso, Texas, got an order for a birthday cake this spring, she was on board, NBC New York reported on May 10. The customer wanted an emo cake, so Romero put her newly perfected black icing to the test and constructed the confection. Before she delivered it, she said, she asked the client if they wanted a number on the cake. “Yes,” the client answered, “it’s for my granddaughter and she’s turning 4.” Romero “thought it was a little bit weird … but maybe she just likes Wednesday or something like that.” Still, wanting to cover her bases, she asked the client for the theme of the party. When she got the answer — “Sesame Street” — it all became clear. “I misread emo and it says ‘Elmo cake.’” Romero rushed to a local grocery, where the bakery topped the cake with an Elmo image; Romero gave the cake to the client for free. Social media ate the story up, with more than 10 million views on Twitter. [NBC New York, 5/10/2023]

Cheeky

British IBM IT professional Ian Clifford, 50, has not worked since September 2008 as he battled mental health issues and stage 4 leukemia, Business Insider reported. Clifford has been on sick leave for 15 years, collecting a salary of almost $68,000 per year after reaching an agreement with IBM in 2013. But in February 2022, Clifford testified in an employment tribunal that he had been treated unfairly because he hadn’t had a salary increase since the 2013 agreement went into place. He argued that inflation was causing his income to “wither” and sought a pay raise of 2.5 percent. “Your mortgage doesn’t go down because you are sick,” he noted. This spring, Paul Housego, an employment judge, rejected Clifford’s argument, saying Clifford was treated more favorably than others because he was being paid without having to work. Clifford plans to appeal. [Business Insider, 5/16/2023]

Field Report

On May 9, officers from Boone County and Watauga County, North Carolina, tried to chase down Joshua Minton, 34, after he was pulled over for reckless driving, CBS News reported. Minton ran into an “undeveloped area,” where law enforcement got an unlikely helping … hoof. Cows in the field “quickly assisted our officers by leading them directly to where the suspect was hiding,” police announced in a Facebook post. “The cows communicated with the officers as best they could and finally just had the officers follow them to the suspect’s location.” Minton was arrested on multiple charges. [CBS News, 5/12/2023]

Precocious

Two brothers in Langkawi, Malaysia, were detained after crashing the car one was driving into a lamp post on May 10, CNN reported. It’s not hard to imagine why driving might have been difficult for them: They are 6 and 3 years old. Police Chief Shariman Ashari said the Toyota Vios they were in attracted attention from other drivers, who thought the driver might be intoxicated. The boys sneaked out of their home and took the car, hoping to buy a toy car at the local shops. “Mama is at home and we are going to the store,” the 6-year-old said. “We want to buy a black car,” the 3-year-old elaborated. The only injury was a cut to one boy’s chin. [CNN, 5/10/2023]

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Reprinted with permission.
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Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 06/08/23

Awesome!

Seventh-grader Dillon Reeves of Warren, Michigan, is being hailed as a hero after he came to the rescue of a wayward school bus on April 26, ABC News reported. Reeves noticed as he was riding the bus home from school that the driver was “in distress.” Superintendent Robert D. Livernois said the student “stepped to the front of the bus and helped bring it to a stop without incident. I could not be prouder of his efforts.” The bus driver had lost consciousness; emergency personnel tended to the driver, and students were delivered home on another bus. [ABC News, 4/27/2023]

Inexplicable

The Madison County (Texas) Sheriff’s Office is investigating the mysterious mutilations and deaths of six cows spread over three counties, Fox News reported on April 22. The cows were found along a highway with their tongues cut out, but strangely, no blood had been spilled and there were no signs of the cattle struggling. Furthermore, investigators said, the carcasses had lain undisturbed by scavengers for several weeks. All the cows were found in the same position: lying on their side, with the face cut along the jawline and the tongue neatly removed. There were no discernible tracks in the area, sheriff’s officers said. They’re working with other law enforcement agencies across the U.S. to identify similar incidents. [Fox News, 4/22/2023]

• The Coniston Tavern in Nuneaton, England, is allegedly haunted by the ghost of a former drinker there, according to the landlord, Andy Gadsby. Fox News reported that on April 24, CCTV video captured an incident where a beer glass suddenly exploded, showering three pals with shards of glass. Earlier, at the same table, a different customer’s glass suddenly slid to the floor. Gadsby said the ghost is Dave, who used to live in an apartment above the pub. “One night he drank a bottle of brandy and had a heart attack and died,” Gadsby said. “Maybe his spirit is around the pub and he’s desperately trying to pinch people’s drinks. The two incidents have spooked people out.” [Fox News, 4/27/2023]

News You Can Use

The Spanish parliament has “overcome the Spain of the past,” as Jesús Martín, director general of the Royal Board on Disabilities, put it, with a vote banning “dwarf bullfighting.” HuffPost reported that this traditional “comic” event features people with dwarfism dressed as firefighters or clowns who chase bulls without doing them any harm. The shows go back decades but are decreasing in popularity. “People with dwarfism are subjected to mockery in public squares in our country,” Martin said. However, some of the performers are objecting to the ban. “They take it for granted that people are being denigrated or laughed at, and it’s the opposite: The respect they have for us is impressive,” said Daniel Calderón, one of the bullfighters. [HuffPost, 4/27/2023]

• Not a moment too soon, Oscar Mayer announced on May 17 that it is changing the name of its iconic Wienermobile to the Frankmobile, CNN reported. The company says the name change “pays homage” to its new recipe for hot dogs, which will roll out this summer. Uh-huh. A company spokesperson said the change is a test; they’ll have “to see if it cuts the mustard” with fans. The Wienermobile first appeared in 1936; 23 of the eye-catching vehicles now travel around the country. [CNN, 5/17/2023]

Bright Idea

Students will go to just about any lengths to get out of a test — even outer space. So it was in Hemlock, Michigan, on May 16, when an enterprising student reported an alien invasion to avoid a math test, according to KTVZ-TV. The student reported that ETs came from the skies in flying saucers and landed on the playground, and the rumors quickly began circulating among the student body on social media. But Superintendent Don Killingbeck wasn’t having it: “We have thoroughly investigated the situation, and there is no evidence of any alien activity on our school grounds,” he said. The prankster has been disciplined, he added. [KTVZ, 5/17/2023]

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.