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News of the Weird: Week of 06/29/23

Weird Science

Spring weather can be unpredictable, but a man in Ankara, Turkey, got an up-close glimpse of exactly what intense winds can do on May 17, Metro News reported. As Onur Kalmaz looked out his window, trying to check on his car during the storm, he captured on video a sofa flying from a balcony of a 35-story block of apartments nearby. Kalmaz said the sofa crashed into other buildings before falling to the ground. “No one was hurt, but we were pretty scared,” he said. [Metro News, 5/18/2023]

Illustration: Jeanne Seagle

Clothing Optional

• After crashing his truck into a Volusia, Florida, utility pole around 2 a.m. on May 21, completely severing it, 39-year-old Kevin Gardner did the obvious thing: He took off all his clothes and started banging on the front door of a home nearby. ClickOrlando reported that when officers arrived at the home, Gardner had injuries on his face and legs. The truck was registered to him, but he said it had been stolen … and that he’d had seizures and didn’t remember anything. A breath test revealed an illegal blood-alcohol content, and Gardner was held on multiple charges. [ClickOrlando, 5/23/2023]

• In Georgia, residents can now use a digital driver’s license, which can be uploaded to Apple Wallet and allows users to leave their IDs in their bag or pocket at TSA checkpoints. But, as United Press International reported, snapping a selfie for the ID comes with a few rules. “Attention, lovely people of the digital era,” the Georgia Department of Driver Services posted on its Facebook page on May 23. “Please take pictures with your clothes on when submitting them for your Digital Driver’s License and ID. Cheers to technology and keeping things classy!” Put your shirt on. [UPI, 5/25/2023]

The Passing Parade

High school seniors in Marlin, Texas, are getting a few extra days of school tacked on, KWTX-TV reported on May 23. The reason: Twenty-eight of the 33 seniors — about 85 percent — were not eligible to graduate, according to an audit performed by the Marlin Independent School District because they had failed or neglected to complete a course or they had too many absences. The ceremony, originally scheduled for May 25, will take place sometime in June. “They told us that because of the students that didn’t meet the requirements, it wouldn’t be fair for only five students to walk the stage,” said Alondra Alvarado, who is eligible to graduate. Victoria Banda, whose son did not meet the requirements, said they were given very little notice about the change in plans. They had family “traveling in from Mexico” for the original ceremony — “and if anyone knows, it’s not cheap,” she said. Administrators hope the extra time will allow the majority of students to meet the state’s requirements. [KWTX, 5/23/2023]

Florida

• When the Brevard (Florida) Public Schools board met on May 9, the topic of dress codes came up, but it went way beyond hoodies and beachwear, ClickOrlando reported. Vice chair Megan Wright told board members that she has heard concerns about students dressing up as “furries” — people who anthropomorphize animals. District 5 Representative Katye Campbell weighed in: “I’m not a big fan of the furry movement, but … if ‘ears’ means a headband with pointed ears on them, it’s a hair accessory. Tails are different, and students meowing and barking at other students — that’s not cool. But that’s not dress code.” Chairman Matt Susin said his daughter is “tired of furries” at school and the subject comes up at least once a month at his dinner table. Leave it to District 3 Representative Jennifer Jenkins to cut through the kitty litter: “This is not rocket science … If you don’t want tails on kids, just say you don’t want tails.” She said among middle school students, the new thing is barking and meowing at each other, unrelated to furry costumes: “It’s weird, but they’re doing it.” [ClickOrlando, 5/11/2023]

• Omar Gutierrez, 32, of Gainesville, Florida, donned a cat costume before plunging a knife into his roommate’s neck on May 22, WCJB-TV reported. When the victim asked why he stabbed him, Gutierrez said, “It was instinctual.” Police reported that Gutierrez had told the victim a week earlier that he was “not above killing” him; Gutierrez had claimed that the roommate had hurt his cat, although he denied it. Gutierrez was charged with first-degree attempted murder — because, you know, he had to plan the costume. [WCJB, 5/24/2023]

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News of the Weird: Week of 06/22/23

You Had One Job

Residents in Halethorpe, Maryland, are frustrated with the progress of a new bridge on U.S. Route 1, WBAL-TV reported. They’ve been waiting for months for the bridge to fully open, but a tiny error stands in the way. The bridge crosses over CSX railroad tracks, which require a minimum of 23 feet of vertical clearance, and it was built 1.5 inches too short. CSX has halted the remaining construction to complete the bridge, according to a Maryland Department of Transportation engineer. “I understand you get hiccups, but … this is not a hiccup. This is a mistake. Somebody needs to be held accountable and it needs to be taken care of,” said resident Desiree Collins. “You have engineers. This should not have happened.” The State Highway Administration now estimates completion in late 2023 or early 2024. [WBAL, 5/23/2023]

The Happiest Place on Earth

Two families went at each other on May 15 at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom, Fox35-TV reported — all over who could stand next to a sign commemorating the 100th anniversary of the Disney Co. According to police, one family was standing in front of the sign when another group wanted to snap a photo. When the second group asked the first to step aside, punches were thrown. At least one person was treated for injuries at the site, but they didn’t want to press charges. Two people were removed from the park. [Fox35, 5/16/2023]

The Entrepreneurial Spirit

When a 36-year-old woman in Providence, Rhode Island, couldn’t afford conventional dental care for her painful teeth, a friend recommended “Yorki,” WPRI-TV reported on May 18. The woman contacted Altagracia Yorquis Adames, 57, and went to her home basement “dental practice.” There, Yorki allegedly removed instruments from a dresser drawer — some that were visibly rusty — then numbed the victim’s molar and pulled on it until it came out. She then numbed and drilled on the patient’s front teeth. Later that night, when her pain worsened, she texted with Yorki, who told her to take painkillers and ice her mouth. The next day, the victim checked into a hospital and was told she was “very sick.” Police said Yorki was a licensed dentist in the Dominican Republic but not licensed in Rhode Island; she is due back in court in August. [WPRI, 5/18/2023]

Ewwwww!

A visitor at Wonderland amusement park in Toronto, Ontario, was filled with more than wonder as he rode the Leviathan roller coaster on May 16, the Toronto Sun reported. Hubert Hsu of Toronto said as his coaster car neared the top of one of the ride’s loops, it collided with a bird — possibly a pigeon. “I looked down and saw blood on my hands and my face,” Hsu said. “There was a feather on my hand, and feathers on the girl next to me’s shirt. It seemed like the coaster car hit the bird and then it sort of exploded on us.” Hsu said attendants gave them a roll of industrial brown paper towels, and he ended up washing up in a restroom. “The kids who work in the park seemed like they had no idea what to do, and that might be an issue,” he added. [Toronto Sun, 5/19/2023]

It’s Come to This

Two Louisville, Kentucky, roommates got into a heated dispute at their home on May 20, The Charlotte Observer reported, over an unlikely subject: Hot Pockets. Clifton Williams, 64, was charged with second-degree assault after he allegedly shot the victim. Williams “got mad he ate the last Hot Pocket and began throwing tiles at him,” police said. When the victim moved to leave the home, Williams retrieved a firearm and shot the man in the posterior. He remains in the custody of Louisville Metro Corrections. [The Charlotte Observer, 5/23/2023]

News You Can Use

Beer. Need we say more? Okay, there’s more. Researchers examining paintings from the Dutch Golden Age have discovered that artists preparing their canvases often used discarded material from local breweries, the Associated Press reported. They found traces of yeast, wheat, rye, and barley, which would have been spread as a paste over the canvas to prevent the paint from seeping through. Scientists believe the Danish Academy of Fine Arts bought leftover mash from breweries and used it to ready canvases for artists such as Christoffer Wilhelm Eckersberg and Christen Schiellerup Købke. [AP, 5/24/2023]

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News of the Weird: Week of 06/15/23

Extreme Measures

In vino, vie … or something like that. Lillian Ip of Cheltenham, Australia, was stranded in the country’s remote bushland for five days in late April after she took a wrong turn and became stuck in mud, United Press International reported. Sgt. Martin Torpey of the Wodonga police said Ip had planned just a day trip, “so she had taken a couple of snacks and lollies with her, but no water. The only liquid Lillian, who doesn’t drink, had with her was a bottle of wine she had bought as a gift for her mother.” Without cell service, Ip couldn’t call for help. Her family notified police about her absence, and a four-day search over the region included helicopters. Finally, Ip was spotted waving her arms, and police were directed to her location. “I thought I was going to die there,” she said. [UPI, 5/9/2023]

Unclear on the Concept

When cake-baker Brianna Romero of El Paso, Texas, got an order for a birthday cake this spring, she was on board, NBC New York reported on May 10. The customer wanted an emo cake, so Romero put her newly perfected black icing to the test and constructed the confection. Before she delivered it, she said, she asked the client if they wanted a number on the cake. “Yes,” the client answered, “it’s for my granddaughter and she’s turning 4.” Romero “thought it was a little bit weird … but maybe she just likes Wednesday or something like that.” Still, wanting to cover her bases, she asked the client for the theme of the party. When she got the answer — “Sesame Street” — it all became clear. “I misread emo and it says ‘Elmo cake.’” Romero rushed to a local grocery, where the bakery topped the cake with an Elmo image; Romero gave the cake to the client for free. Social media ate the story up, with more than 10 million views on Twitter. [NBC New York, 5/10/2023]

Cheeky

British IBM IT professional Ian Clifford, 50, has not worked since September 2008 as he battled mental health issues and stage 4 leukemia, Business Insider reported. Clifford has been on sick leave for 15 years, collecting a salary of almost $68,000 per year after reaching an agreement with IBM in 2013. But in February 2022, Clifford testified in an employment tribunal that he had been treated unfairly because he hadn’t had a salary increase since the 2013 agreement went into place. He argued that inflation was causing his income to “wither” and sought a pay raise of 2.5 percent. “Your mortgage doesn’t go down because you are sick,” he noted. This spring, Paul Housego, an employment judge, rejected Clifford’s argument, saying Clifford was treated more favorably than others because he was being paid without having to work. Clifford plans to appeal. [Business Insider, 5/16/2023]

Field Report

On May 9, officers from Boone County and Watauga County, North Carolina, tried to chase down Joshua Minton, 34, after he was pulled over for reckless driving, CBS News reported. Minton ran into an “undeveloped area,” where law enforcement got an unlikely helping … hoof. Cows in the field “quickly assisted our officers by leading them directly to where the suspect was hiding,” police announced in a Facebook post. “The cows communicated with the officers as best they could and finally just had the officers follow them to the suspect’s location.” Minton was arrested on multiple charges. [CBS News, 5/12/2023]

Precocious

Two brothers in Langkawi, Malaysia, were detained after crashing the car one was driving into a lamp post on May 10, CNN reported. It’s not hard to imagine why driving might have been difficult for them: They are 6 and 3 years old. Police Chief Shariman Ashari said the Toyota Vios they were in attracted attention from other drivers, who thought the driver might be intoxicated. The boys sneaked out of their home and took the car, hoping to buy a toy car at the local shops. “Mama is at home and we are going to the store,” the 6-year-old said. “We want to buy a black car,” the 3-year-old elaborated. The only injury was a cut to one boy’s chin. [CNN, 5/10/2023]

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News of the Weird: Week of 06/08/23

Awesome!

Seventh-grader Dillon Reeves of Warren, Michigan, is being hailed as a hero after he came to the rescue of a wayward school bus on April 26, ABC News reported. Reeves noticed as he was riding the bus home from school that the driver was “in distress.” Superintendent Robert D. Livernois said the student “stepped to the front of the bus and helped bring it to a stop without incident. I could not be prouder of his efforts.” The bus driver had lost consciousness; emergency personnel tended to the driver, and students were delivered home on another bus. [ABC News, 4/27/2023]

Inexplicable

The Madison County (Texas) Sheriff’s Office is investigating the mysterious mutilations and deaths of six cows spread over three counties, Fox News reported on April 22. The cows were found along a highway with their tongues cut out, but strangely, no blood had been spilled and there were no signs of the cattle struggling. Furthermore, investigators said, the carcasses had lain undisturbed by scavengers for several weeks. All the cows were found in the same position: lying on their side, with the face cut along the jawline and the tongue neatly removed. There were no discernible tracks in the area, sheriff’s officers said. They’re working with other law enforcement agencies across the U.S. to identify similar incidents. [Fox News, 4/22/2023]

• The Coniston Tavern in Nuneaton, England, is allegedly haunted by the ghost of a former drinker there, according to the landlord, Andy Gadsby. Fox News reported that on April 24, CCTV video captured an incident where a beer glass suddenly exploded, showering three pals with shards of glass. Earlier, at the same table, a different customer’s glass suddenly slid to the floor. Gadsby said the ghost is Dave, who used to live in an apartment above the pub. “One night he drank a bottle of brandy and had a heart attack and died,” Gadsby said. “Maybe his spirit is around the pub and he’s desperately trying to pinch people’s drinks. The two incidents have spooked people out.” [Fox News, 4/27/2023]

News You Can Use

The Spanish parliament has “overcome the Spain of the past,” as Jesús Martín, director general of the Royal Board on Disabilities, put it, with a vote banning “dwarf bullfighting.” HuffPost reported that this traditional “comic” event features people with dwarfism dressed as firefighters or clowns who chase bulls without doing them any harm. The shows go back decades but are decreasing in popularity. “People with dwarfism are subjected to mockery in public squares in our country,” Martin said. However, some of the performers are objecting to the ban. “They take it for granted that people are being denigrated or laughed at, and it’s the opposite: The respect they have for us is impressive,” said Daniel Calderón, one of the bullfighters. [HuffPost, 4/27/2023]

• Not a moment too soon, Oscar Mayer announced on May 17 that it is changing the name of its iconic Wienermobile to the Frankmobile, CNN reported. The company says the name change “pays homage” to its new recipe for hot dogs, which will roll out this summer. Uh-huh. A company spokesperson said the change is a test; they’ll have “to see if it cuts the mustard” with fans. The Wienermobile first appeared in 1936; 23 of the eye-catching vehicles now travel around the country. [CNN, 5/17/2023]

Bright Idea

Students will go to just about any lengths to get out of a test — even outer space. So it was in Hemlock, Michigan, on May 16, when an enterprising student reported an alien invasion to avoid a math test, according to KTVZ-TV. The student reported that ETs came from the skies in flying saucers and landed on the playground, and the rumors quickly began circulating among the student body on social media. But Superintendent Don Killingbeck wasn’t having it: “We have thoroughly investigated the situation, and there is no evidence of any alien activity on our school grounds,” he said. The prankster has been disciplined, he added. [KTVZ, 5/17/2023]

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

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News of the Weird: 06/01/23

Creme de la Weird

For the first time since the Covid-19 pandemic began, a ritual event took place at the Sensoji Temple in Tokyo on April 22, The Guardian reported. The traditional “crying sumo” event features pairs of infants, held up by the parents facing each other, who are frightened into crying by staff wearing oni demon masks. The first baby to cry wins the match. “We can tell a baby’s health condition by listening to the way they cry,” said Hisae Watanabe, mother of an 8-month-old. “I want to hear her healthy crying.” Crying sumo events are held throughout the country. “In Japan, we believe babies who cry powerfully also grow up healthily,” explained Shigemi Fuji, chairman of the Asakusa Tourism Federation, which organized the event. [The Guardian, 4/22/2023]

Clothing Optional

Police in Mesa, Arizona, responded to the One Life Church on April 16 after receiving a call about a naked man in the church’s baptismal fountain, AZCentral reported. Officers said Jeremiah Sykes, 20, was asked to leave repeatedly but wouldn’t comply; he then wrapped himself in a blanket and wandered about the property. Sykes told officers he was baptizing himself. During his booking procedure, he punched two officers, compounding his charges. [AZCentral, 4/18/2023]

Wrong Place, Wrong Time

Shivdayal Sharma, 82, died in a freak accident in the Alwar region of India on April 19, LBC reported. As Sharma urinated near a train track, a Vande Bharat Express train struck a cow, launching it 100 feet into the air before it landed on him. Sharma was killed instantly, and another man narrowly escaped being hit also. Ironically, Sharma worked at Indian Railways before retiring 23 years ago. Officials are calling for metal fencing to keep cows away from the tracks, along with the removal of garbage and vegetation. [LBC, 4/24/2023]

It’s a Dirty Job

The Blackpool Zoo in England is hiring! Wanted: “A team of people to join our Visitor Services team as ‘Seagull Deterrents.’” You, too, can dress up in a large bird costume and scare away pesky seagulls, which steal food from both visitors and animal enclosures. The Daily Mail reported that candidates must be “outgoing, as you need to be comfortable wearing a bird costume,” and hours will be variable. [Daily Mail, 4/23/2023]

The Passing Parade

On April 19, Viktoria Nasyrova, 47, of Brooklyn, New York, was sentenced to 21 years in prison for a bizarre plot she cooked up against a look-alike friend from Ukraine, NBC News reported. Nasyrova wanted to avoid being sent back to Russia, where she faced charges in a 2014 murder, according to the Queens district attorney’s office. So in 2016, she laced a cheesecake with phenazepam, a powerful toxin found only in Russia, and fed it to her “friend.” The victim survived, but her Ukrainian passport and $4,000 in cash were stolen. Nasyrova’s attorney said that she will likely be deported after serving her sentence. [NBC News, 4/19/2023]

The Continuing Crisis

In Carmarthenshire, Wales, residents have responded to the condition of a rural road that they describe as the “worst in the county” with a clever road sign, Wales Online reported on April 27. “Caution: Remove dentures. Adjust bra straps. Secure your nuts,” the sign reads. Abergorlech Road is full of potholes, and while some have been filled, residents believe “the road is so worn and damaged that it requires complete resurfacing in many places,” a spokesman said. “Whilst the sign is intended to be funny, the constant wear and tear on our vehicles is a real issue.” The Carmarthenshire Council contends that there is no money budgeted for resurfacing, but residents say it’s “ironic that the police can check our vehicles to ensure that they’re safe for the road, but no one is ensuring that the road is safe for our vehicles.” Maybe it’s time to call the Terminator. [Wales Online, 4/27/2023]

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms!Tto find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

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News of the Weird: Week of 05/25/23

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Northern Railway in England has made a specific appeal to its riders: Please stop watching porn on the train. The Mirror reported that Northern provides “Friendly Wi-fi,” which meets (apparently the bare) minimum filtering standards. Tricia Williams, chief operating officer, said people should remember that “some content is not suitable for everyone to see or hear — particularly children.” While the company understands that the ride may be “the first opportunity to view content,” commuters should “wait until you get home.” [Mirror, 4/14/2023]

Precocious

Anthony Guglielmi, chief of communications for the Secret Service, told CNN on April 18 that a toddler was able to breach the fence around the White House, setting off security alarms. The “curious young visitor” crawled through the fence posts on the north side and was quickly apprehended by Secret Service police officers, who reunited him with his parents. Perhaps he’s considering a bid for 2052. [CNN, 4/18/2023]

Illustration: Jeanne Seagle

Update

News of the Weird recently reported that former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger had taken street maintenance matters into his own hands and filled a pothole in his neighborhood. His good deed turned out to be an “oops” moment, though, according to the Associated Press. The “pothole” was actually a utility trench that had been temporarily filled by Southern California Gas Co. and was set to be fixed permanently later. SoCal Gas said rain had delayed the permanent paving. The Terminator tweeted, “Teamwork. Happy to help speed this up.” [Associated Press, 4/14/2023]

Questionable Judgment

Parents of students at Desert Hills Middle School in Kennewick, Washington, are questioning the thinking behind a school assembly activity that took place before spring break, YakTriNews reported. The game involved a large piece of clear plexiglass with stripes of whipped cream sprayed on both sides; teams of students and staff competed to see who could lick the cream off both sides at the same time, making it appear as if the two people were kissing. District Superintendent Dr. Traci Pierce sent a letter to parents on April 12, which assured them that “The content of a video being shared on social media is highly concerning” and the activity “does not reflect the high standards we hold for our staff members.” An investigation is underway. [YakTriNews, 4/12/2023]

Nyet

Olga Slegina, 70, was hit with a fine of about $500 on April 18 in Moscow for a remark she made in December about Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the Daily Mail reported. While speaking with another woman at a care home in Nalchik, Slegina called Zelenskyy, 45, a “handsome young man” with a “good sense of humor.” That’s a no-no in Russia; the Code of Administrative Offenses, introduced in March 2022, characterized her comment as “discrediting” the Russian military. Slegina was told that three people reported her over the discussion, and she was taken to a police station and told she had “praised Zelenskyy.” She was unable to attend the trial due to health reasons and intends to file an appeal. [Daily Mail, 4/19/2023]

Awesome!

A batch of ale originally brewed to celebrate King Edward VIII’s coronation in 1937 will hit the auction block, Sky News reported. Edward abdicated the throne before his coronation in order to marry American divorcee Wallis Simpson. The Coronation Ale went into storage until it was uncovered in 2011; several crates of the 86-year-old beer will be auctioned off in advance of King Charles III’s coronation in May. The brewer, Greene King, says the beer is no longer drinkable and the bottles will just be collectors’ items. (Keep an eye on News of the Weird for the unlucky collector who can’t resist a sip.) [Sky News, 4/18/2023]

Overreaction

A Monopoly game in Belgium on April 2 took a sinister turn, Sky News reported. Four people were playing the game outside their home when a neighboring man and his son, apparently annoyed by the players, came outside with a stick and a Japanese samurai sword in a sheath. A scuffle ensued, and the sword came out of its sheath; police said two men — one of the players and the son — were injured by the weapon. The Monopoly player was later discharged from the hospital, but the son was reported to be in critical condition. Both men had been arrested. Large patches of blood and scattered Monopoly cards marked the spot of the dispute. [Sky News, 4/5/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

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News of the Weird: Week of 05/18/23

Recent Alarming Headline

KOKH-TV reported that on March 12, a woman in Dickson, Oklahoma, was attacked by her neighbor’s pet monkey, Jack, resulting in her ear being ripped “almost completely off my head,” the victim, Brittany Parker, said. “He started grabbing handfuls of my hair and just ripped it out,” she added. Dickson police were called, and as they looked for the monkey, two shots were fired. “The shots came from the area of the victim’s residence. Officers went back to the house and found that a family member of the victim shot and killed the primate,” police said. Parker said she will need plastic surgery to fix her ear. P.J. Carter, Jack’s owner, is distraught: “I lost my best friend and pet due to it all,” he said. “He was my super monkey. I feel sorry for [Parker] and her injury. My friend and pet Jack lost his life over a massive misunderstanding and the lack of knowledge and education with an exotic animal,” Carter added. The district attorney has declined to file charges. [KOKH, 3/17/2023]

Creme de la Weird

The Mondaiji Con Cafe Daku (loosely translated: Problem Child Concept Cafe) in Sapporo, Japan, was forced to fire one of its waitresses in April after she was discovered to be adding her own blood to cocktails, the Daily Mail reported. The cafe owner called her actions “absolutely not acceptable” and said the establishment would close while every drinking glass was replaced. “We will hire a contractor to clean the store, change glasses, and dispose of alcoholic beverages that may have been contaminated,” he said. He called her actions “part-time job terrorism.” A local doctor said anyone who had patronized the cafe should visit a doctor and have a blood test. [Daily Mail, 4/13/2023]

It’s a Mystery

Over the last several months, Don Powell and his wife, Nancy, have been puzzling over uninvited inhabitants of their fancy mailbox in Orchard Lake, Michigan. USA Today reported that in August 2022, two small dolls, a miniature couch, and a small table appeared in the mailbox, which is custom-built to resemble the Powells’ home, with windows and a solar-powered interior light that comes on at night. The dolls were accompanied by a note: “We’ve decided to live here. Mary and Shelley.” Powell thought a neighbor might be spoofing him, but after exhaustive investigatory work, he’s no closer to knowing the source of the figures. Over time, the home gained a four-poster bed, a dog, a rug, and art for the wall. “The whole thing got rather whimsical,” Powell said. At Halloween, Mary and Shelley were replaced by two skeleton dolls dressed in black, and at Christmas, tiny, wrapped gifts appeared. Now, Powell is thinking of writing a children’s book about the mailbox mystery. “I think it creates a novel story,” he said. [USA Today, 4/13/2023]

The Continuing Crisis

Angel Footman, 23, a teacher at Griffin Middle School in Tallahassee, Florida, was arrested on April 7 and charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, the New York Post reported. The charges came after school administrators learned Footman was allegedly hosting violent brawls between students in her classroom. Naturally, she set down rules: no recordings, and no pulling hair. No screaming (draws attention). Fights must be limited to 30 seconds each. However, several sixth-grade girls alerted administrators, and video turned up showing Footman at her desk while students fought each other. She’s scheduled for arraignment in May. [NY Post, 4/10/2023]

Bright Idea

Drivers along Interstate 5 near Eugene, Oregon, were startled on April 11 to see $100 bills floating through the air, Fox News reported. In fact, many cars stopped along the highway to grab the loot. When the Oregon State Police tracked down the source, it was Colin Davis McCarthy, who told them he’d been throwing the money out of his car to “bless others.” He said he thought he’d dispersed around $200,000. The OSP later revealed that McCarthy’s family had been in touch; he had depleted a shared family bank account for his Robin Hood moment. [Fox News, 4/14/2023]

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News of the Weird: Week of 05/11/23

Least Competent Criminals

• Nothing went right for a carjacker in East Memphis, Tennessee, on March 10, WREG-TV reported. An unnamed 22-year-old victim pulled into his own driveway that night, only to have a man yank the driver’s door open and point a gun at him. He asked for the victim’s wallet and keys to the 2006 Honda Element, then tried to back out of the driveway, but as he did so, he rolled down the window. That’s when the victim noticed the thief’s gun didn’t have a barrel, so he reached in and punched the carjacker in the face, causing the car to clip the side of the house and run into a pole. The carjacker jumped out and ran away; police were able to gather prints from the car and a recovered phone, but no arrests have been made. [WREG, 3/13/2023]

• As authorities in Gainesville, Georgia, searched the home of 75-year-old Alan Neil Thur on March 14 after receiving a tip that Thur had child pornography on his computer, Thur sat at his computer … “viewing five images of child pornography,” Hall County Sheriff’s deputies wrote in a report. WSB-TV reported that Thur was charged with seven counts of sexual exploitation of a minor and booked into the county jail. [WSB, 3/16/2023]

Oh, Canada

Fans of our favorite rude gesture, rejoice! Flipping the bird is a protected, “God-given” right in Canada, NPR reported, after Judge Dennis Galiatsatos ruled on Feb. 24 that “offending someone is not a crime.” The decision stemmed from a court case between two unneighborly neighbors in a Montreal suburb. “The complainants are free to clutch their pearls in the face of such an insult,” Galiatsatos said. “However, the police department and the 911 dispatching service have more important priorities to address.” [NPR, 3/10/2023]

Suspicions Confirmed

On March 20, police officers were called to a home in Mill Creek, Washington, on a report of items stolen from the house, Fox13-TV reported. As they investigated, they discovered someone was living in the home’s upstairs loft — with a bed, drug paraphernalia, and half-eaten food. The oblivious homeowners did say they had noticed the smell of cigarette smoke. Police suggested the homeowners wait until the person returned, and it didn’t take long: On March 21, they arrested Daniel Tomoiaga, 24. In his possession, they found the stolen items, along with meth and fentanyl. No word on how long he’d been staying at the home. [Fox13, 3/23/2023]

The Tech Revolution

Artificial intelligence has infiltrated television news in China, Oddity Central reported. Ren Xiaorong, a virtual news anchor, was introduced on March 12 to viewers of People’s Daily. “For 365 days, 24 hours, I will be reporting the news for the whole year, round the clock, without rest,” (Redundant) Ren told viewers. “Whether at news sites or back in the studio, you will always see me.” She has absorbed the talents of “thousands of news anchors” and will continue to evolve based on feedback. Ren can answer many questions, but her answers are all within the parameters of the Chinese Communist Party’s rhetoric. [Oddity Central, 3/17/2023]

Clothing Optional

In the early 2000s, Joseph DeRuvo Jr. of Norwalk, Connecticut, had developed painful bunions on his feet, and his doctor suggested surgery to remove them, The New York Times reported. While awaiting his operation, he started going barefoot, and he soon realized his feet felt much better. “The tactile feedback just kind of makes everything else going on feel a little bit smoother,” he said. Now 59 years old, DeRuvo has been barefoot for two decades, and he says navigating weather and terrain is easier than navigating people. He is sometimes asked to leave a business and on occasion, he fights back. “If I’m feeling feisty,” he said. His wife added, “We get thrown out of a lot of places.” But his shoelessness contributes to a mindful life: “I pay attention to every single step I take,” DeRuvo said. [New York Times, 3/7/2023]

News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! To find out more, visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 04/27/23

Irony
Your Mates Brewing Co. has recalled cans of its Watermelon Sour Beer because of “excess alcohol,” United Press International reported. The Australian brand said the beer could pose a risk of illness; it was unintentionally fermented twice, causing it to have a higher alcohol content and carbonation. The brand is sold in Queensland and online Down Under. [UPI, 3/7/2023]

Police Reports
• Belinda H. Miller, 50, was in jail four days after a Feb. 18 incident at a Popeyes restaurant in Richmond County, Georgia, WJBF-TV reported. Miller became angry when her order was missing biscuits, the store’s manager told police, and the mistake was corrected — but that didn’t appease her. Instead, she allegedly drove her SUV into the store’s front window, narrowly missing a worker standing inside. She continued driving until debris inside the building stopped her car. Miller was charged with aggravated assault and criminal damage to property. [WJBF, 2/23/2023]

• Hayato Baba, 21, of Narashino, Japan, was taken into custody in March because he allegedly assaulted another man and stole his wallet outside a convenience store, Japan Today reported — all because the guy was taking too long in the restroom. Baba admitted to punching the victim twice in the face and taking the wallet. [Japan Today, 2/19/2023]

Creme de la Weird
Already this year, representatives of a fictional country called the United States of Kailasa have participated in two meetings at the United Nations, Oddity Central reported. Founded by Indian fugitive and “supreme pontiff of Hinduism” Nithyananda Paramashivam, the virtual nation claims to be a sovereign state for Hindus who have been “persecuted for over a decade.” In January, Kailasa suggested it had been officially recognized by the United States of America through a sister-city agreement with Newark, New Jersey, but U.S. authorities later rescinded the arrangement. A U.N. representative explained the country’s access by saying the meetings are open to the public. [Oddity Central, 3/13/2023]

Awesome!
How did your bracket hold up? If it busted, here’s some other basketball news that might cheer you up. Sporting goods company Wilson is reinventing the basketball, Oddity Central reported on March 13, with a new prototype that doesn’t require inflation. The Wilson Airless Prototype uses a “research-grade” polymer material to achieve the necessary bounce; the surface is a lattice design that keeps the traditional binding pattern so players can grip the seams of the ball more easily. There are still kinks to work out, including how to manage small objects that can get inside the ball. [Oddity Central, 3/13/2023]

Florida
A flamboyant woman named Ashley Cream went before the Boca Raton Planning and Zoning Board on March 2 with a pressing concern: She suggested that March 10 should be designated Sugar Daddy and Mommy Appreciation Day. WFLA-TV reported that Cream, accompanied by an elderly man in a wheelchair, started her appeal by telling board members they were “looking absolutely fabulous, a little bit serious.” She went on to say that sugar daddies and mommies are “responsible for college educations, cars, homes, rents, jets, Birkin [bags], and the occasional body enhancement” — though she claimed to be “all natural” as she gestured toward her chest. Councilman Arnold Sevell replied that her idea is “a city council issue,” and she and her companion left the meeting. [WFLA, 3/10/2023]

Update
News of the Weird reported in July 2022 that Dean Mayhew of Sussex, England, had his Tesco grocery loyalty card QR code tattooed on his arm. While Mayhew claims he has “no regrets” about the body art, Metro News reported on March 14 that after eight months, he’s saved only 18 British pounds’ worth of points. His goal is to save enough by the end of the year to pay for his Christmas food. “Sometimes when I go in there, the cashier doesn’t believe it’s real — I have to tell them, ‘Just scan it, please!’ and they’re shocked,” he said. “I love the tattoo so much.” [Metro News, 3/14/2023]

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.

Categories
Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 04/13/23

Awesome!

Kansans take their tornado sirens seriously, so it was no surprise that on March 4 in the Wichita suburb of Park City, a ribbon-cutting ceremony took place to mark the reinstallation of the city’s oldest Thunderbolt siren, KSNW-TV reported. The sirens are remnants of the Cold War, and four of them are still in service in Sedgwick County. “About a year ago, we took them down, had them refurbished, and put them back up in our system,” explained Jonathan Marr, deputy director for Sedgwick County Emergency Management. The feted siren had been in use for 70 years. [KSNW, 3/6/2023]

It’s Come to This

Tattoo artist Dean Gunther of Manchester, United Kingdom, has made one man’s body goals come true: He’s inked a ripped six-pack on the man’s torso, freeing the man from eating right and exercising more, the Daily Mail reported on March 6. “He decided that by getting a six-pack tattoo, he will always look summer-ready while still being able to enjoy beer and good food,” Gunther said of his customer. The artistic tat took two days to complete. [Daily Mail, 3/6/2023]

Compelling Explanation

At a preliminary hearing in San Francisco Superior Court on March 6, police officers offered testimony about a Feb. 1 incident in which Dmitri Mishin fired a replica gun inside a synagogue, The San Francisco Standard reported. As officers interrogated Mishin, he explained that the shooting was an act of prayer he was giving for his neighbor’s bird. Mishin, who pleaded not guilty, told officers he lives on a submarine and talks with North Korean and Japanese leaders, and that weapons found in his home were movie props. After the shooting at the synagogue, he waved goodbye and left. Unsurprisingly, this isn’t Mishin’s first run-in with the law; his mother testified that he suffers from mental illness. The hearing was ongoing. [SF Standard, 3/6/2023]

Pick on Somebody Your Own Size

David Jimenez, 65, of Maui, Hawaii, was arrested on March 6 for “pursuing a humpback whale,” CBS News reported. Jimenez, who calls himself Dolphin Dave, was allegedly harassing the whale and dolphins in Kealakekua Bay State Historical Park, where he was snorkeling. Jimenez was unrepentant, though: He told officers “he’s not going to stop swimming with whales and dolphins ‘because it’s magical and others do much worse things.’” Humpback whales are protected under the National Marine Sanctuaries Act. [CBS News, 3/7/2023]

Bright Idea

In China, women modeling lingerie for online retailers violates the country’s rules about spreading obscene material, Insider reported on March 1. Instead, underwear companies are hiring men to model the clothing — and it’s working out better than you might think. “The guy wears it better than the girl,” one online commenter posted. Others argue that the restrictions are “depriving women of job opportunities.” “We don’t really have a choice,” said one business owner, Mr. Xu. “The designs can’t be modeled by our female colleagues, so we will use our male colleagues to model it.” [Insider, 3/1/2023]

It’s Good to Have a Hobby

You missed it again. Key West’s annual Conch Shell Blowing Contest took place on March 4, with Carol Whiteley of Ontario, Canada, winning the women’s division and Brian Cardis of Macon, Georgia, taking the men’s top prize. Entrants of all ages were judged on quality, novelty, duration, and loudness, the Associated Press reported. Michael and Georgann Wachter from Avon Lake, Ohio, impressed the audience with a shell and vocal duet of Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog.” Whiteley said she toots her shell to celebrate sunsets at her riverside home. Time to start practicing for next year! [AP, 3/4/2023]

Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com. News of the Weird is now a podcast on all major platforms! Visit newsoftheweirdpodcast.com to find out more.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2023 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
All rights reserved.