NOTW – Memphis Flyer

Least Competent Criminal

Early on the morning of Feb. 5, 20-year-old Lantz Kurtz broke into a gas station in Palm Coast, Florida, and stole multiple items. He exited via the front door, apparently unaware that he’d left a big clue behind: his debit card, Fox35-TV reported. Officers responding to the alarm found the card and tracked down Kurtz, who told them he had intended to come back to the store and pay for the items. But Sheriff Rick Staly wasn’t having it: “Leaving a debit card behind does not absolve you from theft or committing a burglary,” he said. [Fox35, 2/8/2023]

Crime Spree

Robert Powers, 37, managed to terrorize multiple citizens of Altoona, Pennsylvania, on Feb. 6, WTAJ-TV reported. He allegedly broke into four different homes, telling one woman as he covered her mouth, “I’m Batman.” At the next home, he choked a man, went through his pockets, and held him hostage with a pocketknife. Next, he turned the man’s gas stove on and forced him into his truck, heading across town at speeds of more than 100 mph before crashing into a Jeep. Powers then kicked open the door of a nearby home and repeatedly asked, “Why’d you do this, mom?” as he walked through the residence. Finally, at the last crime scene, police were able to subdue Powers, who admitted he may have ingested meth or bath salts. [WTAJ, 2/7/2023]

Bright Idea

Jose Ruben Nava, former director of the zoo in Chilpancingo, Mexico, is under fire after officials learned that he slaughtered four pygmy goats to serve at the zoo’s year-end dinner, MSN reported. Fernando Ruiz Gutierrez, director of wildlife for the state’s environment department, said serving the goat meat “put the health of the people who ate them at risk because these animals were not fit for human consumption.” Nava is also accused of trading a zebra for tools. He was let go from his position in January after the death of a deer at the zoo. [MSN, 2/2/2023]

Irony

A 61-year-old butcher working at the Sheung Shui Slaughterhouse in Hong Kong died at the hands — er, hooves — of a pig he was trying to slaughter on Jan. 20, CNN reported. The unnamed man was knocked to the ground by the struggling pig, which had revived after a shot from a stun gun, and suffered a wound from a meat cleaver. Strangely, police said, the man’s wounds were to his hand and foot; a cause of death had not been released. The Labour Department extended its “deepest sympathy to his family.” [CNN, 1/21/2023]

Animal Antics

The Wyandotte (Michigan) Police Department opened an investigation in January after an officer was suspected of stealing another officer’s lunch while he was out of the room. The Today show reported that Officer Barwig was called away from the break room to assist in the jail; when he returned, K-9 Officer Ice was seen licking his chops, and Barwig’s sandwich was nowhere to be seen. “Officer Ice has invoked his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent and quite frankly is not cooperating with the investigation,” the department posted on its Facebook page. Later, dozens of attorneys offered to represent Ice in court, but the department decided not to pursue discipline or criminal charges. [Today, 1/23/2023]

Can’t Possibly Be True

Jesse and Deedee O’Dell of Tulsa, Oklahoma, normally spend around $10 for their Starbucks coffees, but on Jan. 7, their bill was considerably more, KOKI-TV reported. A few days later, when Deedee tried to use the same card at a mall, it was declined. That’s when the couple discovered that Starbucks had given itself a $4,444.44 tip on their $10.90 bill. They contacted the district manager, who said there’d been an “issue” with the network, and they received two checks to cover the enormous gratuity — but both checks bounced. While they wait for replacement checks, they’ve had to cancel a family vacation, “and the tickets are nonrefundable,” said Jesse. A Starbucks representative said new checks are on the way and the mistake was caused by “possible human error.” [KOKI, 2/7/2023]