“Revised National Parks Web Page Describes Harriet Tubman as Human Trafficker.”
That was the headline of an email I got a few days ago. I opened it immediately, thinking surely it was a joke. And I was right. The email was from The Onion, a satirical publication that’s been around since 1988 and that is somehow still alive and kicking and sending out funny material in 2025.
You have to admire their spunk. Satire can’t be easy these days. Just last month, for example, in a story about the hundreds of changes and cuts the Trump administration had made to federal government websites, the Washington Post reported that the National Park Service had revised a web page about the Underground Railroad to remove a quote and image of Harriet Tubman, and to remove the word “slavery” from the opening paragraph.
See, it’s just one small step from satire to reality. Or vice versa. And it’s often hard to tell the difference. Here’s another example: “RFK Jr. Says He Swam with Grandkids in a Creek Known for Raw Sewage.” Oh, those crazy kids at The Onion, I tell ya. Oh wait, that’s a real headline from MSNBC.com. Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the head of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, actually did swim in sewage-infested Rock Creek in Washington, D.C., with his grandkids last week. No word on whether they also spotted a dead bear cub.
Here’s another tough one: “Trump Announces SEAL Team Six Kills U.S. Protester in Daring Overnight Raid.” Not quite true. At least, not yet. He is, however, having people abducted off the street and shipping them to prison without arresting them or giving them legal due process, which is horrifying enough.
How about this headline? “Trump Renames Gulf of Mexico as Gulf of America.” Yes, of course, it’s real, but by any rational measure that should have been an Onion headline, don’t you think? Since it was already taken, The Onion came up with “Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric of America.’” See, satire is hard.
“Immigrants Criticize Swimsuit Competition Portion of U.S. Citizenship Test.” Okay, yes, that’s The Onion. But just barely. The reality is almost as bizarre. It was announced last week that the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, headed by cosplaying Border Barbie, Kristi Noem, is reportedly considering a reality TV show in which immigrants would compete in American-themed challenges for a chance to win U.S. citizenship.
The show, pitched by Rob Worsoff, the producer behind Duck Dynasty, would be called The American, and would feature immigrants competing in challenges such as gold mining, balancing on logs, and assembling cars, to win a fast track to citizenship and potentially be sworn in as citizens on the steps of the Capitol. No, it’s really not from The Onion. I swear. You can google it.
So, how about this one? Real or fake? “Trump Orders Government to Stop Enforcing Rules He Doesn’t Like.” Sorry, that’s a real headline from the Washington Post. From the story: “Trump recently ordered Energy Department staff to stop enforcing water conservation standards for showerheads and other household appliances. And at one Labor Department division, his appointees have instructed employees to halt work related to anti-discrimination laws.” The story adds that at the Environmental Protection Agency, “Trump has ordered officials to scale back enforcement of rules intended to curb air and water pollution from power plants, oil refineries, hazardous waste sites, and other industrial facilities.” Argh.
So, here’s an easy one … I think: “Sean Combs Asks for Quick Trial So He Can Get to Part Where Trump Pardons Him.” A quote from Diddy: “With all due respect, your honor, can we skip some of the preamble and jump to when Trump gets all these sex trafficking and racketeering charges thrown out?” Yeah, it’s satire, unlike Trump’s pardon of 1,500 people convicted of various charges in the January 6th insurrection, but does anyone doubt Trump would actually pardon Combs? I don’t.
Okay, I’ll stop now, but here’s one last headline that has the bitter ring of truth to it. “Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be a Better Time to Get the Fuck Out of America Forever.’” Real or fake? Hard to tell, and it hurts to laugh.