Tag: Priscilla Presley

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News The Fly-By

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Cross Purposes

Easter is over, and you know what that means, right? Discount Easter candy at Walgreens! Fly on the Wall recommends this special cross-shaped tin of flavored jelly beans. In case the photo is too small to read, black represents “your sinful heart,” while white represents “the cleansing of my sin.” Purple represents “royalty,” which can’t possibly taste good. Red is clearly labeled “Jesus’ blood.”

Verbatim

“Elvis had a lot of dignity. Elvis had a lot of class. He was a beautiful specimen of a man.” — Priscilla Presley explaining why there would be no jumpsuit-wearing, sideburn-sporting tribute artists officiating at Elvis Presley’s Graceland Wedding Chapel when it opens in Las Vegas on April 23rd.

Crimeware

Where are the fashion police when you need them? Last week, Fly on the Wall shared a story about a clothing store robbery on Highland where one of the perps wore a Santa hat. This week surveillance cameras at a Union Avenue Circle K captured images of a robber wearing a luxurious shoulder-length wig.

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News The Fly-By

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Road Trip

Okay, we get it, Nashville. Elvis slept there. But seriously, what is up with the King envy? Last week, several Flyer staffers headed to Music City for the annual Association of Alternative Newsweeklies conference. Not only was there a giant Elvis photo over the bar at our downtown hotel, the entertainment district seemed to sport more Elvis statues than Memphis has panhandlers. These are weird hybrid statues, where the head of ’70s Elvis sprouts from the body of ’50s Elvis. It would be one thing if these statues were joined by similar representations of famous Nashvillians like Junior Samples and Jack White, but no. It’s all Elvis, all the time. At least someone had the good sense to decorate this one with a “Memphis as F#@$” coldy-holdy.

On a related note, this needs to be immortalized on a T-shirt, stat.

Verbatim

“My picture was on the back of buses. I was weeping so hard, child. I cried my eyelashes off.” — Memphis soul singer Toni Green to WREG, describing the star treatment Memphis artists received at Italy’s popular Porretta Soul Festival.

TCB

The headline of the week award goes to the Associated Press: “Priscilla Presley is asking fans of her late ex-husband Elvis Presley to ‘please calm down’ after a report that two jets once owned by the singer could be removed from Graceland.”

Categories
News The Fly-By

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Neverending Dutschke

The last time we heard from James Everett Dutschke, the Tupelo martial arts instructor accused of sending ricin-laced letters to President Obama and framing an Elvis impersonator, he was pleading guilty and facing a lengthy prison sentence. Now Dutschke has recanted his previous confession, blaming his incarceration on a government conspiracy and comparing the Elvis impersonator he allegedly framed to Barney the purple dinosaur. Upping the Elvis imagery, Dutschke offered to pour the contents of all the letters in question onto a peanut butter sandwich and eat it.

In related news, Paul Kevin Curtis, the Elvis impersonator who was originally accused of sending the letters, played a concert at the Lyric Theatre in Oxford last week to help fund his documentary I Didn’t Do It.

Dark Fantasies

The Memphis Comic and Fantasy Convention announced that the group will not be opening a geek-themed activity center in Ashlar Hall, the rundown castle-like structure formerly owned by Robert “Prince Mongo” Hodges. The comic con’s founder Joe Thordarson cited prohibitive rental costs as the reason. On the bright side, this opens up the possibility of developing the property as an asylum to house Memphis’ most deranged super-villains.

Neverending Elvis

Last week, Priscilla Presley told SiriusXM radio host George Klein that she’s developing a Broadway show about her early life with Elvis. Presley is currently preparing to step into the role of the evil stepmother in the London production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.