Categories
At Large Opinion

Gettysburg, Wow

“Gettysburg, what an unbelievable battle that was. It was so much and so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways, it represented such a big portion of the success of this country. Gettysburg, wow. I go to Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, to look and to watch. And, uh, the statement of Robert E. Lee, who’s no longer in favor, did you ever notice that? He’s no longer in favor. ‘Never fight uphill, me boys, never fight uphill.’ They were fighting uphill. He said, ‘Wow, that was a big mistake.’ He lost his great general. And they were fighting. ‘Never fight uphill, me boys!’ But it was too late.”

You may or may not be familiar with the preceding paragraph. It depends to some extent upon how much of a political junkie (or masochist) you are. But even if you’re not familiar with it, you can probably guess the source. And if you guessed, Donald J. Trump, you win.

The presumptive GOP presidential nominee scatted the forgoing brain jazz at a speech in Schnecksville, Pennsylvania, on Saturday. It was just one discursive, rambling aside in an oration that consisted of more than 75 minutes of discursive, rambling asides. Some highlights:

“China is sending illegals here to start a little army in our country.”

“I will not give one penny to any school that has a vaccine mandate.”

“I love women more than I love anything. I looove women.”

“Last night we had 20 people come to our country from the Congo. Welcome to our country. Where do you live in the Congo? We live in prison. They’re bringing them in from Africa!”

“The 2020 election was rigged, pure and simple. It was a disgrace and we can never let it happen again.”

“I’m perhaps the most honest guy in the world.”

Perhaps. And if you believe that, well, you’re an idiot. We’re past the point of pretending any of this is remotely normal, but here’s the worrisome thing: It actually is normal in one sense. It’s “normal” because it happens every day that Trump says something in public. After nine years of listening to this guy, Americans have become inured to it; our politics have literally transformed. Trump has normalized things that would have destroyed the career of any politician before he came along.

Gary Hart was the front-runner for the 1988 Democratic presidential nomination when revelations of an extramarital affair emerged and he was finished. In 2004, presidential candidate Howard Dean was deemed unelectable because he screamed “Yeah!” at a rally in Iowa. See ya, Howard. You’re not “presidential” enough.

And Jimmy Carter was so concerned about a possible conflict of interest that he put his little Georgia peanut farm in a blind trust during his presidency, so as not to appear to be in the pocket of Big Peanut.

In contrast, Trump and his family made millions from his businesses while in office, including from a hotel in Washington, D.C., where foreign diplomats and lobbyists stayed in order to curry favor with the American president.

And just imagine the merde-storm that would engulf the mass media if Joe Biden bumbled his way through anything remotely similar to Trump’s lie-filled Schnecksville speech. Think of the outrage from the Confederate-loving MAGA types if Biden invented a Robert E. Lee quote that made the general sound like a surfer-pirate.

Argh, dude.

As this presidential campaign stumbles into summer, and as Trump’s trial in New York takes center stage, it is becoming more and more obvious that the GOP presidential candidate has some real issues with, well, reality. Trump is quite literally making things up — creating stories, statistics, and personal anecdotes out of whole cloth. This is not an opinion; it’s a verifiable fact: He’s a full-service gaffe station.

The question becomes: Is he doing it knowingly — just running a hustle to get elected again — or is he truly losing sentience, unable to tell fact from fiction? Does he truly believe all vaccines are bad, and that he is the most honest person in the world, and Robert E. Lee said “wow.” If it’s the latter, well, that is so interesting and so vicious and horrible and so beautiful in so many different ways. And we are so in trouble.

Categories
Hot Properties Real Estate

Pound Puppy

It looks familiar — like a basset hound and spaniel mix that’s very attractive but just a little different. This house looks at first like a Craftsman four-square, but it’s not, exactly. That style generally has a square floor plan. They are also two-story and therefore very cubic in volume. This house looks that way from the front, but move around to the side, and you realize that the plan is not square, but more broad than deep.

This happy hybrid sits on a street that has mainly Tudors with a few Craftsman-style houses — good, solid 1920s stock built on an old pecan orchard, and this side of the street is in the Snowden school district. That’s almost as good as AKC standard!

The exterior materials are classic Craftsman: dark-red brick above the ground-floor windows and a limestone belt course set at the sill line of the windows with Arkansas fieldstone to the ground. Fieldstone is also used for the tapered columns framing the screened front porch and porte cochère.

The entry door is on center and has sidelights. Inside, a broad staircase rises on center to the second floor. Even though the exterior has all the usual Craftsman materials, the interior has a more Colonial Revival floor plan. The living room runs down one side with a central fireplace backed up to the staircase. The mantel is pure Arts and Crafts with a perfectly half-round (semicircular) arch in the brick surround framing the gas logs in the firebox. Similar arches are atop a built-in bookcase in the room and across the entry into the dining room. Ceiling heights are a pleasant nine feet, both downstairs and up.

The other side of the ground floor has the typical Colonial Revival layout of dining room in front of kitchen. Both rooms have two pairs of windows and are light-filled all day. The kitchen sink faces east with a view across a rear deck and deep rear yard with a one-car garage, so the kitchen is a great spot to start the day.

At some point, a large opening was cut between the kitchen and the dining room and a breakfast room installed. This not only opens up both rooms but serves as a prep and service area. The kitchen cabinets are hand-built of tongue-and-groove pine, and the same material was used as a wainscot around the kitchen, all of which is now painted white. Countertops are plastic laminate, but an economical and appropriate upgrade would be hard-rock maple butcher block.

There is a rear ground-floor wing with a half-bath and a bedroom, which could also be a den/study. The original radiators keep the place cozy in winter, and dual AC systems take over for summer.

Upstairs is the full bath with all its original fixtures set against subway tile wainscot and a white hexagonal tile floor. The remaining bedrooms are up here, but it’s the master that is particularly noteworthy. Running above the living room, as it often does in Colonial Revivals, it is the biggest room in the house (and thus most appealing). With windows on three sides, it’s light and breezy. This room breaks nicely into two spaces with a sleeping area and a home office/exercise/sitting area.

Like a good pound hound, this house is an interesting blend of styles. The changes and upgrades have been thoughtful, and there’s room out back for more if you wanted to make this puppy your own.

920 University

1,640 square feet

3 bedrooms, 1-1/2 baths; $149,000

Realtor: Crye-Leike, 276-8800

Agent: Bill Malone, 359-4000

Categories
News

Tell Sweden About Your Odd Balls, er, Oddballs

Winters in Stockholm must be long and cold and boring, because the producers of a Swedish TV program called The Most Extraordinary Person Show have now turned to America to find the most offbeat person in our country.

Who is the most likeable, extraodinary, and offbeat person in your part of America?” they ask. “Your local odd character? There is probably one in every town.”

Just ONE? Hey, this is Memphis, remember.

According to a press release, “Filip Hamar and Fredrick Wikingsson are two of Sweden’s most beloved TV hosts. They will be in America from December 2007 to February 2008. Their assignment: Find America’s most extraordinary, likeable, and offbeat person (and 99 others who are pretty darn close).

Know anybody? Remember: They have to be “likeable.” Go to the show’s website to learn more. Watch the promo video to get an idea of what they’re after.

All we can say is, “oh geez, you betcha.”