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Opinion Viewpoint

Who Are These People?

I am a stranger in my own land. I read the newspapers in puzzlement. Who are these people mentioned as Democratic presidential candidates? Oh, sure, I know Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders and Cory Booker and Kamala D. Harris and some of the others, but the other day I came across the names of John Delaney, Seth Moulton, and Tim Ryan — I already forgot another who was named — and stopped: Who? Running for president, the story said. The story did not say why.

Delaney ought to be Time magazine’s Person of the Year. He is the very personification of the new kind of presidential candidate. He’s been a successful businessman — health care and such — and was a member of Congress from Maryland. But rather than take the traditional next step — seek the governorship or move up to the Senate — he decided to head straight for the White House instead. He’s officially been a candidate since July 2017 — not that anyone has much noticed.

This is something new under the political sun, and it is not, in my estimation, a good thing. Take Delaney. Soon, he will have spent the better part of two years preparing for a life on the road as a salesman, but not necessarily for the Oval Office. The same holds for many of the other 21 Democratic declared candidates.

Something is wrong. Something is broken. The primary system, designed as a reform, has been reformed to the point of absurdity. In the Republican Party, it managed to produce a nominee who turned out to be Fred Trump’s idiot son, Donald. He only occasionally won a majority of the votes in the 2016 primaries. In a field of 12 candidates, his pluralities won him the nomination.

It is always instructive to read Theodore H. White’s classic, The Making of the President 1960. It is the tale of how John F. Kennedy secured the Democratic nomination and won the presidency. Supporting roles were played by certain big-city political bosses, particularly Richard J. Daley, mayor of Chicago and boss of the mighty Cook County Democratic machine. By the time of his death in 1976, he had been Chicago’s mayor for 21 years, a record broken only by his son.

Daley was a masterful politician, while not always an admirable man. His bigotry was ecumenical — blacks, Jews, etc. — and he was lip-read at the chaotic 1968 Democratic National Convention hurling f-bombs at Senator Abraham Ribicoff on the podium, calling him “you Jew son of a b——.” Yet, Daley served a purpose: He policed the Democratic Party.

Mayor Richard J. Daley

It is hard — actually, hilarious — to imagine some of today’s Democratic candidates coming to pay the required homage to Daley, and the mayor asking what, precisely, they had done to qualify for the most important job in the world. I can’t imagine what Beto O’Rourke or Pete Buttigieg would say. They are both endowed with great appeal, sharp minds, a winning exuberance, and the promise of a political spring. But their political experience is thin and untested. Nice to meet ya, Daley would say in lieu of an endorsement. Okay, okay, the bosses were sometimes vile and sometimes corrupt. But they looked for winners, not ideological soul mates — and winning, as Vince Lombardi reminded us, “isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” This election, the only thing is defeating President Trump.

But the Democratic Party has opted for increased chaos. The supposedly contemptible superdelegates, unelected party functionaries, have been taken down more than a peg. They now cannot have the deciding vote on the first ballot, which means that, at the very least, they can sleep late.

For too many candidates, running for the nomination is a no-cost exercise in brand enhancement. They can stay in the House or the Senate or in serene unemployment and see if lightning strikes. I’m told that the supremely competent Senator Michael F. Bennet of Colorado has said that by running, he has nothing to lose. And he’s right. If he wins, he moves into the White House. If he loses, he stays in the Senate. Either way, his summers will be muggy.

I read political news, as I do the New York Post‘s unavoidable Page Six gossip feature. In the tabloid, many boldface names are only dimly familiar, sometimes because they are merely the children of the once-famous who, on their own, are mentioned only for entering and exiting rehab. It’s ridiculous that almost anyone can be a celebrity . . . or run for president. There ought to be a difference.

Richard Cohen writes for the Washington Post Writers Group.

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Opinion The Last Word

GOP Convention Means Hot Fun in the Summertime

Richard J. Daley

People under 40 are in for a treat this summer. A new reality show combining the very best of Survivor, Jackass, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, will begin July 18th and run through the 21st. It promises to be the television event of the year, and you don’t even need cable. The macabre spectacle known as the Republican National Convention will be held in Cleveland earlier than usual this year, so as not to step on the TV ratings for the 2016 Olympics. The Democrats follow suit a week later in Philadelphia, so everybody can jet off to Rio de Janeiro and bring back the Zika virus.

The GOP’s soiree will take place in the Quicken Loans Arena, which seems a bit insensitive, considering their quadrennial gala will be held in a sports arena owned by a mortgage company that was sued by the government for “knowingly violating underwriting practices (and) issuing hundreds of defective loans.” But it all makes sense when you discover the arena is owned by Cleveland Cavaliers owner and heavy Republican donor, Dan Gilbert, a billionaire businessman and chairman of Quicken Loans, who accepted a government bailout for his mendacious operation. So that’s a good start on what will be the billionaires’ political convention.

Several pundits are predicting that the cyclone that’s about to devour Cleveland will be comparable to the 1968 bloody Democratic convention in Chicago. The greatest similarity is that we get to sit on the couch with our popcorn and watch the implosion of a major political party. The differences, however, are many. The national mood leading up to Chicago can best be described as incendiary. LBJ announced he would not run for reelection in March. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated in April, followed by the murder of Robert Kennedy in June.

The best hope for peace was Minnesota Senator Eugene McCarthy, who came to the convention with the most delegates. Every manner of protester flooded into Chicago: radicals, moderates, anti-war activists, hippies, Yippies, and the Black Panther Party. Mayor Richard J. Daley was the law, mobilizing the National Guard and the Chicago police with orders to “shoot to kill” arsonists, and “shoot to maim” looters. This emboldened the cops to commit sanctioned brutality against the loathed, long-haired intruders. For the next three days, while the Democratic Party was disintegrating inside the hall, blue-helmeted riot police removed their badges and went on a rampage, wading into the protestors with sadistic zeal, cracking skulls and bloodying campaign volunteers, men and women alike.

In the end, party bosses chose Vice President Hubert Humphrey, who had not entered a single primary, as the nominee. Because their candidate was crushed by the party machinery, a whole generation took their ball and went home, sitting out the election and enabling the reign of Richard Nixon and setting off another five years of bitter anti-war protests. Like Mick Jagger said, “You can’t always get what you want.”

This year, it’s the Republicans who are in chaos. With tempers boiling, talk of a brokered convention and an insider “Stop Trump” movement, there’s every potential for violence. Only this time, the violence will be inside the convention. While a delegate might mention the word “riot” under his breath, Trump just comes right out and predicts it. When Donald Trump speculated that if he doesn’t get the nomination, “I think you’d have riots. I’m representing … millions of people,” he virtually invited every Tea Party yahoo, Klansman, white supremacist, and open-carry gun neurotic to come to Cleveland. For certain, protesters will descend righteously into the city where 12-year-old Tamir Rice was murdered by a policeman (who was previously declared “emotionally unstable”) for brandishing a toy, airsoft pistol in a public park. Black Lives Matter will be in force. So should the many groups publicly denigrated by Trump: Mexicans, African Americans, Asians, war heroes, women, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Seventh-day Adventists, Mormons, the disabled, and the poor. This time, however, law enforcement will be overseen by the Department of Homeland Security and the Secret Service (if we can keep them away from the prostitutes) and not the trigger-happy Cleveland police.

So buckle up, this is going to be ugly. So far, it looks like the only people who will speak on behalf of Trump are Dennis Rodman, Sarah Palin, Mike Tyson, Chris Christie, and Omarosa. Maybe they could get the Cliven Bundy militia to prerecord a message of support which could then be read by Duck Dynasty‘s Phil Robertson.

The strange thing is the rules committee is not bound by rules, so they can make them up as they go along. There are two scenarios here: Trump loses the nomination and begins rampaging around the land like the Cloverfield monster, or Trump wins the nomination, but the GOP announces a third-party candidate so as not to let the country fall into the hands of a sociopath who once said, “It really doesn’t matter what (the media) write as long as you’ve got a young and beautiful piece of ass.”

Who can argue with logic like that? Except, imagine for a second if that quote came out of the mouth of Barack Obama. Rednecks would be locking up their daughters. No matter how repulsive Trump is to his fellow GOP presidential candidates, almost all of them have pledged to support the party’s nominee.

Go ahead and nominate his ass. His hate-filled reality show will be renewed for 12 more weeks, then the voters can cancel him for good — and maybe the Republican Party, as well.

Randy Haspel writes the “Recycled Hippies” blog, where a version of this column first appeared.