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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 1/26/23

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Noah Webster (1758–1843) worked for years to create the first definitive American dictionary. It became a cornucopia of revelation for poet Emily Dickinson (1830-1886). She said that for many years it was her “only companion.” One biographer wrote, “The dictionary was no mere reference book to her; she read it as a priest his breviary — over and over, page by page, with utter absorption.” Now would be a favorable time for you to get intimate with a comparable mother lode, Aries. I would love to see you find or identify a resource that will continually inspire you for the rest of 2023.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “The aspects of things that are most important for us are hidden because of their simplicity and familiarity.” So declared Taurus philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein in his book Philosophical Investigations. Luckily for you Tauruses, you have a natural knack for making sure that important things don’t get buried or neglected, no matter how simple and familiar they are. And you’ll be exceptionally skilled at this superpower during the next four weeks. I hope you will be gracious as you wield it to enhance the lives of everyone you care about. All of us non-Bulls will benefit from the nudges you offer as we make our course corrections.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Poet Carolyn Kizer said the main subject of her work was this: “You cannot meet someone for a moment, or even cast eyes on someone in the street, without changing.” I agree with her. The people we encounter and the influences they exert make it hard to stay fixed in our attitudes and behavior. And the people we know well have even more profound transformative effects. I encourage you to celebrate this truth in the coming weeks. Thrive on it. Be extra hungry for and appreciative of all the prods you get to transcend who you used to be and become who you need to be.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you have any interest in temporarily impersonating a Scorpio, the coming weeks will be a favorable time to play around. Encounters with good, spooky magic will be available. More easily than usual, you could enjoy altered states that tickle your soul with provocative insights. Are you curious about the mysteries of intense, almost obsessive passion? Have you wondered if there might be ways to deal creatively and constructively with your personal darkness? All these perks could be yours — and more. Here’s another exotic pleasure you may want to explore: that half-forbidden zone where dazzling heights overlap with the churning depths. You are hereby invited to tap into the erotic pleasures of spiritual experiments and the spiritual pleasures of erotic experiments.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The circle can and will be complete — if you’re willing to let it find its own way of completing itself. But I’m a bit worried that an outdated part of you may cling to the hope of a perfection that’s neither desirable nor possible. To that outdated part of you, I say this: Trust that the Future You will thrive on the seeming imperfections that arise. Trust that the imperfections will be like the lead that the Future You will alchemically transmute into gold. The completed circle can’t be and shouldn’t be immaculate and flawless.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Shakespeare’s work has been translated from his native English into many languages. But the books of Virgo detective novelist Agatha Christie have been translated far more than the Bard’s. (More info: tinyurl.com/ChristieTranslations.) Let’s make Christie your inspirational role model for the next four weeks. In my astrological estimation, you will have an extraordinary capacity to communicate with a wide variety of people. Your ability to serve as a mediator and go-between and translator will be at a peak. Use your superpower wisely and with glee!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran musician Franz Liszt (1811–1886) was a prolific and influential genius who created and played music with deep feeling. He was also physically attractive and charismatic. When he performed, some people in the audience swooned and sighed loudly as they threw their clothes and jewelry on stage. But there was another side of Liszt. He was a generous and attentive teacher for hundreds of piano students, and always offered his lessons free of charge. He also served as a mentor and benefactor for many renowned composers, including Wagner, Chopin, and Berlioz. I propose we make Liszt your inspirational role model for the next 11 months. May he rouse you to express yourself with flair and excellence, even as you shower your blessings on worthy recipients.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This may risk being controversial, but in the coming weeks, I’m giving you cosmic authorization to engage in what might appear to be cultural appropriation. Blame it on the planets! They are telling me that to expand your mind and heart in just the right ways, you should seek inspiration and teaching from an array of cultures and traditions. So I encourage you to listen to West African music and read Chinese poetry in translation and gaze at the art of Indigenous Australians. Sing Kabbalistic songs and say Lakota prayers and intone Buddhist chants. These are just suggestions. I will leave it to your imagination as you absorb a host of fascinating influences that amaze and delight and educate you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “All the world’s a stage,” Shakespeare wrote, “and all the men and women merely players.” That’s always true, but it will be even more intensely accurate for you in the coming weeks. High-level pretending and performing will be happening. The plot twists may revolve around clandestine machinations and secret agendas. It will be vital for you to listen for what people are NOT saying as well as the hidden and symbolic meanings behind what they are saying. But beyond all those cautionary reminders, I predict the stories you witness and are part of will often be interesting and fun.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In this horoscope, I offer you wisdom from Capricorn storyteller Michael Meade. It’s a rousing meditation for you in the coming months. Here’s Meade: “The genius inside a person wants activity. It’s connected to the stars; it wants to burn and it wants to create and it has gifts to give. That is the nature of inner genius.” For your homework, Capricorn, write a page of ideas about what your genius consists of. Throughout 2023, I believe you will express your unique talents and blessings and gifts more than you ever have before.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Greek writer Nikos Kazantzakis (1883–1957) was nominated nine times for the prestigious Nobel Prize in Literature, but never won. He almost broke through in the last year of his life, but French author Albert Camus beat him by one vote. Camus said Kazantzakis was “a hundred times more” deserving of the award than himself. I will make a wild prediction about you in the coming months, Aquarius. If there has been anything about your destiny that resembles Kazantzakis’, chances are good that it will finally shift. Are you ready to embrace the gratification and responsibility of prime appreciation?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Piscean educator Parker Palmer has a crucial message for you to meditate on in the coming weeks. Read it tenderly, please. Make it your homing signal. He said, “Solitude does not necessarily mean living apart from others; rather, it means never living apart from one’s self. It is not about the absence of other people — it is about being fully present to ourselves, whether or not we are with others. Community does not necessarily mean living face-to-face with others; rather, it means never losing the awareness that we are connected to each other.”

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 1/19/23

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Good news, Aries! During the next episode in the age-old struggle between the Impulsive You and the Farsighted You, I predict the latter will achieve a ringing victory. Hallelujah! I also foresee you overcoming the temptation to quit a project prematurely, and instead pushing on to complete it. There’s more! You will refrain from knocking your head against an obstacle in the vain hope of toppling it. Instead, you will round up helpers to help you wield a battering ram that will produce the desired toppling.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You may not have a clear picture of where you’ll be going in the next five years. The detailed master plan that your higher self devised for you before you were born might even be obscure. But I’m here to tell you that in the coming weeks, a new lucidity can be yours. You can summon an acute instinct about which way is forward, if only you will recognize the subtle ways it’s speaking to you. In fact, I believe you will regularly know what move you should make next so as to expedite your long-term evolution. Life will be rewarding you with mysterious step-by-step guidance. Now please write a short statement affirming your intention to love, honor, and obey your intuition.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Do you believe in the existence of guardian angels and spirit guides and ancestors who can intervene in your behalf from the other side of the veil? Do you wonder if maybe your invisible friends from childhood show up in your vicinity now and then to offer you support and kindness? Or how about the animals you loved earlier in your life but who have since passed away? Is it possible their souls have never left you, but are available if you need their affection? Even if your rational mind tells you that none of these possibilities are authentic, Gemini, I suspect you will nevertheless be the beneficiary of their assistance in the coming weeks and months. Their influence will be even more potent if you proceed as if they are real.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Among your potential strengths as a human being are empathy, sensitivity, and emotional intelligence. You may or may not choose to develop these natural gifts. But if you do, they can be instrumental in helping you achieve the only kind of success that’s really meaningful for you — which is success that your heart and soul love as much as your head and your ego. According to my astrological analysis, you are moving into a phase of your cycle when you will have extra power to ripen your empathy, sensitivity, and emotional intelligence — and thereby enhance your ability to achieve the kind of success that’s meaningful for you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Dear Rob the Astrologer: The computer firewall at my youth hostel is blocking your website. I am being told you practice ‘Illegal Folklore and Insurrectionary Fairy Tales.’ What the hell? Can you do anything at your end to get me access to your wonderful horoscopes? Maybe cut back a bit on your Illegal Folklore and Insurrectionary Fairy Tales? Haha. Just kidding. I love that crazy stuff. — Deprived Leo in Ireland.” Dear Deprived: Many of you Leos have lately had problems getting all the Illegal Folklore and Insurrectionary Fairy Tales you need. I hope you will push hard to compensate. In my estimation, you currently have a strong need for dreamy stories that appeal to the Wild Child in you. They’re essential to your mental and spiritual health.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life, Donald Miller acknowledges that fear can be a “guide to keep us safe.” Being afraid may indeed have its uses and benefits. But Miller adds that it’s also “a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.” In my astrological opinion, Virgo, fear will be of service to you — a guide to keep you safe — about 9 percent of the time in 2023. Around 83 percent of the time, it will be a manipulative emotion not worth acting on. For the other 8 percent, it will be neither. Please plan accordingly.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Select two sticky situations in your world that you would love to reinvent. Let other annoyances and glitches just slide for now. Then cultivate a focused desire to do everything in your power to transform the two awkward or messy circumstances. Proceed as if you will have to do all the work yourself — that nothing will change for the better unless you take full responsibility. If you’re absolutely sure this involves other people altering their behavior, consider the possibility that maybe your behavior needs to shift as well.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Three out of four toxic waste dumps in the U.S. are located in predominantly African-American or Latino communities. Two million tons of radioactive uranium tailings have been dumped on Native-American lands. Three hundred thousand Latino farm workers in the U.S. suffer from pesticide-related sicknesses every year. These travesties make me furious. More importantly, my rage motivates me to mitigate these travesties, like by educating my readers about them and donating money to groups crusading to fix the problems. In the coming weeks, Scorpio, I hope you will take advantage of your astrological potentials by using your anger constructively, too. Now is a favorable time for you to fight fiercely and tenderly for what’s right.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I predict that love will bring you many AHA! moments in 2023. You can’t fully prepare yourself for them — and that’s a good thing! The epiphanies will be brighter and deeper if they are unexpected. Your motivation to learn the available lessons will be wilder and stronger if you enjoy being surprised. So be ready for lots of entertaining rumbles and reverberations, Sagittarius. The adjustments you will be asked to make will often be strenuous and fun. The inspirations you will be invited to harvest will require you to outgrow some of your previous beliefs about the nature of intimacy and togetherness.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Some insects are helpful to humans. For example, ladybugs devour aphids, which are highly destructive to crops. Damsel bugs eat the pests called leafhoppers, and lacewings feed on the pernicious nuisances known as mealybugs. I also remind you that some bugs are beautiful, like butterflies, dragonflies, and jeweled beetles. Keep these thoughts in mind, Capricorn, as you contemplate my counsel. Metaphorically speaking, you will have experiences with bugs in the next three weeks. But this won’t be a problem if you ally yourself with the good, helpful, and beautiful bugs.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My Piscean pagan friend Valie says God is stealthy yet blatant, like a green chameleon perched on a green leaf. After analyzing the astrological omens, I conclude that this is a helpful, all-purpose metaphor for you to use in the coming weeks. I encourage you to be alert for beauty that is hidden in plain sight. See if you can spy the miracles embedded within the ordinary. Ask life to pleasantly blow your mind over and over again. Here’s your phrase of power: open secret.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 1/12/23

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Nigerian author Wole Soyinka reworked the ancient Greek play, The Bacchae. In one passage, the god Dionysus criticizes King Pentheus, who is supposedly all-powerful. “You are a man of chains,” Dionysus tells him. “You love chains. You breathe chains, talk chains, eat chains, dream chains, think chains. Your world is bound in manacles.” The bad news, Aries, is that many of us have some resemblances to Pentheus. The good news is that the coming months will be a favorable time to shed at least some of your chains. Have fun liberating yourself! Try to help a few others wriggle free from their chains, too. Doing so will aid your own emancipation.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The coming weeks will be a great time to fill your journal with more intense ruminations than you have for many moons. If you don’t have a journal, think about starting one. Reveal yourself to yourself, Taurus! Make conscious that which has been vague, unnamed, or hiding. Here are assignments to help launch your flood of intimate self-talk. 1. Write passionately about an experience you’ve always wanted to try but have never done. 2. Conduct imaginary interviews with people who rouse strong feelings in you. 3. Describe what deity, superhero, or animal you are and how your special intelligence works. 4. Visualize a dream in which you appear as a bolder, more confident version of yourself. 5. Talk about a time you felt rousingly alive and how you plan to feel that way again.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A stranger approached me at Wild Birds Unlimited, a store that sells bird food and accessories. “You write the horoscopes, right?” she asked. “I’m a Gemini, and I want to thank you for helping me tone down my relentless fidgeting. You made me realize I have been secretly proud of tapping my fingers on the table while talking with people, and constantly darting my eyes around the room to check out the ever-changing views. I’d unconsciously believed that stuff was a sign of my incredible vitality. But you’ve been a steadying influence. You’ve shown me ways to settle down and focus my energy better. I can see how restlessness sometimes saps my energy.” I told the woman, “You’re welcome!” and let her know that 2023 will be a favorable time to do much more of this good work. Homework: Meditate on channeling your incredible vitality into being grounded and centered.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): According to Cancerian author Ronald Sukenick, the writer’s work is “to destroy restrictive viewpoints, notice the unnoticed, speak the unspeakable, shake stale habits, ward off evil, give vent to sorrow, pulverize doctrine, attack and uphold tradition as needed, and make life worth living.” I believe 2023 will be an excellent time for you to carry out those actions, even if you’re not a writer. You will have abundant power to bless and heal through creative rebellion and disruption. You will thrive as you seek out interesting novelty.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Psychotherapist Ryan Howes has wisdom you’ll benefit from heeding in the coming weeks. “We need to accept our age,” he writes. “We need to accept illnesses and addictions. We need to accept the past. We need to accept others as they are.” He goes on to say that this doesn’t mean we must like all these situations. And we can certainly try to make the best of them. But when we don’t struggle in vain to change what’s beyond our control to change, we have more energy for things that we can actually affect.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Here’s testimony from musician Pharrell Williams: “If someone asks me what inspires me, I always say, ‘That which is missing.’” Yes! This is an apt message for you, Virgo. The best way for you to generate motivation and excitement in the coming weeks will be to explore what is lacking, what is invisible, what’s lost or incomplete. Check in with your deep intuition right now. Do you feel a stirring in your gut? It may tell you where to find important and intriguing things that are missing.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Every animal knows far more than you do,” declares a proverb of the Nimíipuu people, also known as the Nez Percé. Author Russell Banks provides further testimony to convince us we should be humble about our powers of awareness. “There is a wonderful intelligence to the unconscious,” he says. “It’s always smarter than we are.” These are good pointers for you to heed in the coming weeks, Libra. You will have a special power to enhance your understanding of the world by calling on the savvy of animals and your unconscious mind. They will be especially rich sources of wisdom. Seek out their educational input!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Psychologist Carl Jung said that the whole point of Jesus Christ’s story was not that we should become exactly like him. Rather, we should aspire to be our best and highest selves in the same way that he fulfilled his unique mission. So Jesus was not the great exception, but rather the great example. I bring these meditations to your attention, Scorpio, because I believe life in 2023 will conspire to make you, more than ever before, the hero of your own destiny. You will be inspired to honor only your own standards of success and reject all others’. You will clearly see that you are progressing at your own natural and righteous pace, which is why it makes no sense to compare your evolution to anyone else’s.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A reader named Mary Roseberry describes her experience of being a Sagittarius: “I hate to be bored. I hate imperfections. I hate to wait. I hate sadness. I hate conflict. I hate to be wrong. I hate tension.” Wow! I admire Mary’s succinct understanding of who she doesn’t want to be and what she doesn’t like to do. I invite you to compose a similar testimony. You would benefit from getting clear about the experiences you intend to avoid in 2023. Once you have done that, write a list of the interesting feelings and situations you will seek out with intense devotion during the coming months.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you will soon be called upon to summon grace under pressure; to express magnanimity while being challenged; to prove that your devotion to your high standards is more important than the transitory agendas of your ego. The good news is that you are primed and ready to succeed at these exact assignments. I have confidence in your power to activate the necessary courage and integrity with maximum poise and composure.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “By dying daily, I have come to be,” wrote poet Theodore Roethke. He didn’t mean he suffered literal deaths. He was referring to the discipline of letting go of the past; shedding worn-out habits; leaving behind theories and attitudes that once served him well but no longer did; killing off parts of himself that were interfering with the arrival of the fresh future. I recommend his strategy to you, Pisces. To the degree that you agree to die daily, you will earn the right to be reborn big-time in a few weeks.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 1/5/23

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “My life was the best omelet you could make with a chain saw,” observed flamboyant author Thomas McGuane. That’s a witty way to encapsulate his tumultuous destiny. There have been a few moments in 2022 when you might have been tempted to invoke a similar metaphor about your own evolving story. But the good news is that your most recent chain saw-made omelet is finished and ready to eat. I think you’ll find its taste is savory. And I believe it will nourish you for a long time. (Soon it will be time to start your next omelet, maybe without using the chain saw this time!)

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): After meticulous research of 2023’s astrological omens, I have come to a radical conclusion: You should tell the people who care for you that you’d like to be called by new pet names. I think you need to intensify their ability and willingness to view you as a sublime creature worthy of adoration. I don’t necessarily recommend you use old standbys like “cutie,” “honey,” “darling,” or “angel.” I’m more in favor of unique and charismatic versions, something like “Jubilee” or “Zestie” or “Fantasmo” or “Yowie-Wowie.” Have fun coming up with pet names that you are very fond of. The more, the better.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If I could choose some fun and useful projects for you to master in 2023, they would include the following: 1. Be in constant competition with yourself to outdo past accomplishments. But at the same time, be extra compassionate toward yourself. 2. Borrow and steal other people’s good ideas and use them with even better results than they would use them. 3. Acquire an emerald or two, or wear jewelry that features emeralds. 4. Increase your awareness of and appreciation for birds. 5. Don’t be attracted to folks who aren’t good for you just because they are unusual or interesting. 6. Upgrade your flirting so it’s even more nuanced and amusing, while at the same time you make sure it never violates anyone’s boundaries.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): When she was young, Carolyn Forché was a conventional poet focused on family and childhood. But she transformed. Relocating to El Salvador during its civil war, she began to write about political trauma. Next, she lived in Lebanon during its civil war. She witnessed firsthand the tribulations of military violence and the imprisonment of activists. Her creative work increasingly illuminated questions of social justice. At age 72, she is now a renowned human rights advocate. In bringing her to your attention, I don’t mean to suggest that you engage in an equally dramatic self-reinvention. But in 2023, I do recommend drawing on her as an inspirational role model. You will have great potential to discover deeper aspects of your life’s purpose — and enhance your understanding of how to offer your best gifts.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Are the characters in Carlos Castañeda’s books on shamanism fictional or real? It doesn’t matter to me. I love the wisdom of his alleged teacher, Don Juan Matus. He said, “Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself, and yourself alone, one question. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it is of no use.” Don Juan’s advice is perfect for you in the coming nine months, Leo. I hope you will tape a copy of his words on your bathroom mirror and read it at least once a week.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Teacher and author Byron Katie claims, “The voice within is what I’m married to. My lover is the place inside me where an honest yes and no come from.” I happen to know that she has also been married for many years to a writer named Stephen Mitchell. So she has no problem being wed to both Mitchell and her inner voice. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to propose marriage to your own inner voice. The coming year will be a fabulous time to deepen your relationship with this crucial source of useful and sacred revelation.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche offered advice that is perfect for you in 2023. It’s strenuous. It’s demanding and daunting. If you take it to heart, you will have to perform little miracles you may not yet have the confidence to try. But I have faith in you, Libra. That’s why I don’t hesitate to provide you with Nietzsche’s rant: “No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. There may be countless trails and bridges and demigods who would gladly carry you across; but only at the price of pawning and forgoing yourself. There is one path in the world that none can walk but you. Where does it lead? Don’t ask, walk!”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): How might you transform the effects of the limitations you’ve been dealing with? What could you do to make it work in your favor as 2023 unfolds? I encourage you to think about these question with daring and audacity. The more moxie you summon, the greater your luck will be in making the magic happen. Here’s another riddle to wrestle with: What surrender or sacrifice could you initiate that might lead in unforeseen ways to a plucky breakthrough? I have a sense that’s what will transpire as you weave your way through the coming months in quest of surprising opportunities.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian singer Tina Turner confided, “My greatest beauty secret is being happy with myself.” I hope you will experiment with that formula in 2023. I believe the coming months will potentially be a time when you will be happier with yourself than you have ever been before — more at peace with your unique destiny, more accepting of your unripe qualities, more in love with your depths, and more committed to treating yourself with utmost care and respect. Therefore, if Tina Turner is accurate, 2023 will also be a year when your beauty will be ascendant.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “I’m homesick all the time,” writes author Sarah Addison Allen. “I just don’t know where home is. There’s this promise of happiness out there. I know it. I even feel it sometimes. But it’s like chasing the moon. Just when I think I have it, it disappears into the horizon.” If you have ever felt pangs like hers, Capricorn, I predict they will fade in 2023. That’s because I expect you will clearly identify the feeling of home you want — and thereby make it possible to find and create the place, the land, and the community where you will experience a resounding peace and stability.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Storyteller Michael Meade tells us, “The ship is always off course. Anybody who sails knows that. Sailing is being off-course and correcting. That gives a sense of what life is about.” I interpret Meade’s words to mean that we are never in a perfect groove heading directly towards our goal. We are constantly deviating from the path we might wish we could follow with unfailing accuracy. That’s not a bug in the system; it’s a feature. And as long as we obsess on the idea that we’re not where we should be, we are distracted from doing our real work. And the real work? The ceaseless corrections. I hope you will regard what I’m saying here as one of your core meditations in 2023, Aquarius.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A Chinese proverb tells us, “Great souls have wills. Feeble souls have wishes.” I guess that’s true in an abstract way. But in practical terms, most of us are a mix of both great and feeble. We have a modicum of willpower and a bundle of wishes. In 2023, though, you Pisceans could make dramatic moves to strengthen your willpower as you shed wimpy wishes. In my psychic vision of your destiny, I see you feeding metaphorical iron supplements to your resolve and determination.

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Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 12/22/22

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries author Eric G. Wilson has written a book that I might typically recommend to 40 percent of the Aries tribe. But in 2023, I will raise that to 80 percent of you. The title is How to Be Weird: An Off-Kilter Guide to Living a One-of-a-Kind Life. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it will make sense for you to stop making sense on a semi-regular basis. Cheerfully rebelling against the status quo should be one of your most rewarding hobbies. The best way to educate and entertain yourself will be to ask yourself, “What is the most original and imaginative thing I can do right now?”

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): One of your potential superpowers is cultivating links between the spiritual and physical worlds. If you develop this talent, you illuminate the ways that eternity permeates the everyday routine. You weave together the sacred and the mundane so they synergize each other. You understand how practical matters may be infused with archetypal energies and epic themes. I hope you will be doing a lot of this playful work in 2023, Taurus. Many of us non-Bulls would love you to teach us more about these mysteries.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Here are fun and useful projects for you to cultivate in 2023: 1. Initiate interesting trends. Don’t follow mediocre trends. 2. Exert buoyant leadership in the groups you are part of. 3. Practice the art of enhancing your concentration by relaxing. 4. Every Sunday at noon, renew your vow to not deceive or lie to yourself during the coming week.
5. Make it your goal to be a fabulous communicator, not just an average one. 6. Cultivate your ability to discern what people are hiding or pretending about.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In 2023, I hope you will refine and deepen your relationship with your gut instinct. I will be ecstatic if you learn more about the differences between your lucid intuition and the worry mongering that your pesky demons rustle up. If you attend to these matters — and life will conspire to help you if you do — your rhythm will become dramatically more secure and stable. Your guidance system will serve you better than it ever has. A caveat: Seeking perfection in honing these skills is not necessary. Just do the best you can.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Psychiatrist and author Irvin Yalom wrote, “The question of meaning in life is, as the Buddha thought, not edifying. One must immerse oneself into the river of life and let the question drift away.” But Holocaust survivor and philosopher Viktor Frankl had a radically different view. He said that a sense of meaning is the single most important thing. That’s what sustains and nourishes us through the years: the feeling that our life has a meaning and that any particular experience has a meaning. I share Frankl’s perspective, and I advise you to adopt his approach throughout 2023. You will have unprecedented opportunities to see and know the overarching plan of your destiny, which has been only partially visible to you in the past. You will be regularly blessed with insights about your purpose here on earth.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): As a young woman, Virgo-born Ingeborg Rapoport (1912–2017) studied medicine at the University of Hamburg in Germany. But in 1938, the Nazis refused to let her defend her PhD thesis and get her medical degree because of her Jewish ancestry. Seventy-seven years later, she was finally given a chance to finish what she had started. Success! The dean of the school said, “She was absolutely brilliant. Her specific knowledge about the latest developments in medicine was unbelievable.” I expect comparable developments for you in 2023, Virgo. You will receive defining opportunities or invitations that have not been possible before. Postponed breakthroughs and resolutions will become achievable.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Of the 2,200+ humans quoted in a 21st-century edition of Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, 164 are women — a mere 7 percent! At least that’s more than the four females represented in 1855’s first edition. Let’s take this atrocious injustice as our provocation for your horoscope. In accordance with astrological omens, one of your assignments in 2023 will be to make personal efforts to equalize power among the genders. Your well-being will thrive as you work to create a misogyny-free future. Here are possible actions: If you’re a woman or nonbinary person, be extra bold and brave as you say what you genuinely think and feel and mean. If you’re a man, foster your skills at listening to women and nonbinary people. Give them abundant space and welcome to speak their truths. It will be in your ultimate interest to do so!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): To prepare you for 2023, I’m offering you wisdom from mythologist Michael Meade. Of all the signs in the zodiac, you Scorpios will be most likely to extract riches from it. Meade writes: “Becoming a genuine individual requires learning the oppositions within oneself. Those who fail or refuse to face the oppositions within have no choice but to find enemies to project upon. ‘Enemy’ simply means ‘not-friend’; unless a person deals with the not-friend within, they require enemies around them.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “I will always be as difficult as necessary to achieve the best,” declared Sagittarian opera singer Maria Callas (1923–1977). Many critics say she was indeed one of the 20th century’s best. The consensus is that she was also a temperamental prima donna. Impresario Rudolf Bing said she was a trial to work with “because she was so much more intelligent. Other artists, you could get around. But Callas you could not get around. She knew exactly what she wanted and why she wanted it.” In accordance with astrological omens, Sagittarius, I authorize you, in your quest for success in 2023, to be as “difficult” as Callas was, in the sense of knowing exactly what you want. But please — so as to not undermine your success — don’t lapse into diva-like behavior.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Cardiovascular surgeon Michael DeBakey lived till age 99. He almost died at 97, but was able to capitalize on an invention that he himself had created years before: a polymer resin that could repair or replace aging blood vessels. Surgeons used his technology to return him to health. I am predicting that in 2023, you, too, will derive a number of benefits from your actions in the past. Things you made, projects you nurtured, and ideas you initiated will prove valuable to you as you encounter the challenges and opportunities of the future.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I decided to divine the state of your financial karma. To begin, I swirled a $10 bill through the flame rising from a green candle. Then I sought cosmic auguries in the burn patterns on the bill. The oracle provided bad news and good news. The bad news is that you live on a planet where one-fifth of the population owns much more than four-fifths of the wealth. The good news is that in 2023, you will be in decent shape to move closer to the elite one-fifth. Amazingly, the oracle also suggests that your ability to get richer quicker will increase in direct proportion to your integrity and generosity.

These are your horoscopes for the week of December 22nd. To see what’s in the stars for you for the week of December 29th, visit freewillastrology.com.

Categories
Astrology Fun Stuff

Free Will Astrology: Week of 12/1/22

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Journalist Hadley Freeman interviewed Aries actor William Shatner when he was 90. She was surprised to find that the man who played Star Trek‘s Captain Kirk looked 30 years younger than his actual age. “How do you account for your robustness?” she asked him. “I ride a lot of horses, and I’m into the bewilderment of the world,” said Shatner. “I open my heart and head into the curiosity of how things work.” I suggest you adopt Shatner’s approach in the coming weeks, Aries. Be intoxicated with the emotional richness of mysteries and perplexities. Feel the joy of how unknowable and unpredictable everything is. Bask in the blessings of the beautiful and bountiful questions that life sends your way.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Of all the objects on earth, which is most likely to be carelessly cast away and turned into litter? Cigarette butts, of course. That’s why an Indian entrepreneur named Naman Guota is such a revolutionary. Thus far, he has recycled and transformed over 300 million butts into mosquito repellant, toys, keyrings, and compost, which he and his company have sold for over a million dollars. I predict that in the coming weeks, you will have a comparable genius for converting debris and scraps into useful, valuable stuff. You will be skilled at recycling dross. Meditate on how you might accomplish this metaphorically and psychologically.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Tips on how to be the best Gemini you can be in the coming weeks: 1. Think laterally or in spirals rather than straight lines. 2. Gleefully solve problems in your daydreams. 3. Try not to hurt anyone accidentally. Maybe go overboard in being sensitive and kind. 4. Cultivate even more variety than usual in the influences you surround yourself with. 5. Speak the diplomatic truth to people who truly need to hear it. 6. Make creative use of your mostly hidden side. 7. Never let people figure you out completely.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In my dream, I gathered with my five favorite astrologers to ruminate on your immediate future. After much discussion, we decided the following advice would be helpful for you in December. 1. Make the most useful and inspirational errors you’ve dared in a long time. 2. Try experiments that teach you interesting lessons even if they aren’t completely successful. 3. Identify and honor the blessings in every mess.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “All possible feelings do not yet exist,” writes Leo novelist Nicole Krauss in her book The History of Love. “There are still those that lie beyond our capacity and our imagination. From time to time, when a piece of music no one has ever written, or something else impossible to predict, fathom, or yet describe takes place, a new feeling enters the world. And then, for the millionth time in the history of feeling, the heart surges and absorbs the impact.” I suspect that some of these novel moods will soon be welling up in you, Leo. I’m confident your heart will absorb the influx with intelligence and fascination.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo author Jeanette Winterson writes, “I have always tried to make a home for myself, but I have not felt at home in myself. I have worked hard at being the hero of my own life, but every time I checked the register of displaced persons, I was still on it. I didn’t know how to belong. Longing? Yes. Belonging? No.” Let’s unpack Winterson’s complex testimony as it relates to you right now. I think you are closer than ever before to feeling at home in yourself — maybe not perfectly so, but more than in the past. I also suspect you have a greater-than-usual capacity for belonging. That’s why I invite you to be clear about what or whom you want to belong to and what your belonging will feel like. One more thing: You now have extraordinary power to learn more about what it means to be the hero of your own life.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): It’s tempting for you to entertain balanced views about every subject. You might prefer to never come to definitive conclusions about anything, because it’s so much fun basking in the pretty glow of prismatic ambiguity. You LOVE there being five sides to every story. I’m not here to scold you about this predilection. As a person with three Libran planets in my chart, I understand the appeal of considering all options. But I will advise you to take a brief break from this tendency. If you avoid making decisions in the coming weeks, they will be made for you by others. I don’t recommend that. Be proactive.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scorpio poet David Whyte makes the surprising statement that “anger is the deepest form of compassion.” What does he mean? As long as it doesn’t result in violence, he says, “anger is the purest form of care. The internal living flame of anger always illuminates what we belong to, what we wish to protect, and what we are willing to hazard ourselves for.” Invoking Whyte’s definition, I will urge you to savor your anger in the coming days. I will invite you to honor and celebrate your anger, and use it to guide your constructive efforts to fix some problem or ease some hurt. (Read more: tinyurl.com/AngerCompassion)

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian comedian Margaret Cho dealt with floods of ignorant criticism while growing up. She testifies, “Being called ugly and fat and disgusting from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own, and defend my own loveliness.” You may not have ever experienced such extreme forms of disapproval, Sagittarius, but — like all of us — you have on some occasions been berated or undervalued simply for being who you are. The good news is that the coming months will be a favorable time to do what Cho has done: hunt, stalk, claim, own, and defend your own loveliness. It’s time to intensify your efforts in this noble project.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The bad news: In 1998, Shon Hopwood was sentenced to 12 years in prison for committing bank robberies. The good news: While incarcerated, he studied law and helped a number of his fellow prisoners win their legal cases—including one heard by the US Supreme Court. After his release, he became a full-fledged lawyer, and is now a professor of law at Georgetown University. Your current trouble isn’t anywhere as severe as Hopwood’s was, Capricorn, but I expect your current kerfuffle could motivate you to accomplish a very fine redemption.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I stopped going to therapy because I knew my therapist was right, and I wanted to keep being wrong,” writes poet Clementine von Radics. “I wanted to keep my bad habits like charms on a bracelet. I did not want to be brave.” Dear Aquarius, I hope you will do the opposite of her in the coming weeks. You are, I suspect, very near to a major healing. You’re on the verge of at least partially fixing a problem that has plagued you for a while. So please keep calling on whatever help you’ve been receiving. Maybe ask for even more support and inspiration from the influences that have been contributing to your slow, steady progress.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): As you have roused your personal power to defeat your fears in the past, what methods and approaches have worked best for you? Are there brave people who have inspired you? Are there stories and symbols that have taught you useful tricks? I urge you to survey all you have learned about the art of summoning extra courage. In the coming weeks, you will be glad you have this information to draw on. I don’t mean to imply that your challenges will be scarier or more daunting than usual. My point is that you will have unprecedented opportunities to create vigorous new trends in your life if you are as bold and audacious as you can be.

© Copyright 2022 Rob Brezsny

Categories
Letter From The Editor Opinion

Extra! Extra! Something New’s Stirring in the Flyer

I am so excited! I wish you could have seen me last week when I realized I was going to be able to bring some old favorites back into the pages of the Memphis Flyer. Just giddy as all get-out! Grinnin’ and whistlin’ and dancin’ a jig … well, I wasn’t really whistling. I’ve never been able to get much out aside from a tea-kettle-like whisper. Anyway, after our tasting for the fall beer guide we published a couple weeks back, we (may have been buzzed and) got to talking about changes we might want to implement, what new and exciting — or simply reader-friendly and engaging — things we could do to make the paper bigger, better, and weirder.

We’ve still got some ideas stewing, but we really went for it this week. And I am excited for y’all, too! I’m also excited for the handful of coworkers who are going to be just as surprised as you are when they crack open this week’s issue. I did my best to keep this a secret outside of the folks who work in the design and copyediting trenches of producing this paper.

Longtime readers will surely recognize some changes — and the return of some fun and super-useful content — all in a slightly larger, 32-page package that allowed us the breathing room to TCB on these goals. Some of you may remember the weekly insights offered by Rob Brezsny with his Free Will Astrology horoscopes. His work has been syndicated for years by alt-weeklies across the U.S. and was in our very own paper for a long time. It was cut some years back when so many publications like ours downsized and focused more closely on original content in limited print space. Another item that was cut — that I continue to be asked about when the Flyer comes up in conversation — is News of the Weird, a compilation of strange and surreal news stories from headlines across the globe. Well, guess what, lovelies? They’re baaaaack!

Also gracing these pages once again is our After Dark live music calendar. This is a bit of a trial run on those listings, as we’ve not printed them since the Before Times. But live music is kicking and thriving in the city now, and we believe this to be a valuable resource. If you’re in a band or do promotions for local venues, please send your music events to calendar@memphisflyer.com with the subject line AFTER DARK.

Were you tired of having to dig out a magnifying glass to read the clues on The New York Times crossword puzzle? Did you have to use the smallest pen in the world to fill in the answers in those teeny-tiny boxes? We’ve got great news for you (and for the many folks who’ve complained about it over the years) — we upsized the puzzle!

Lastly on the new-and-different front this week is a “now playing” conclusion to the film/TV section, where we’re testing finishing up there with a rundown of must-see films currently in theaters.

I’m new to this position and title, but I’m not new here, as you may have read in my introductory official editor’s note a few weeks back. I started out as a reader more than two decades ago — literally just a kid. I looked to the Flyer for the fun stuff — like astrology and weird news from around the world, long before we all scrolled viral videos on our phones. The extensive live music, arts, food, theater, film (etc.!) event listings helped me plan my weekends, and showed me just how much Memphis had to offer in terms of entertainment. And of course these were icing on the cake for the unmatched news reporting, politics analysis, event highlights, music and film reviews, food coverage, poignant opinion pieces (etc.!) that could be found in every issue, every single week.

We’re hoping you all will find these additions, along with our outstanding standard content, informative, fun, and useful — and we’re hoping some new readers will join us on this journey as we make the Flyer bigger, better, and weirder! (And boy, there are a lot of exclamation marks in this column! Did I mention I was excited?) With that said, after you’ve read through this week’s issue, pass your copy along to a friend or colleague. Share the love and legacy of Memphis’ alternative weekly newspaper — and stay tuned for what comes next!