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Opinion The Last Word

AI Robots Invade the Classroom — So What?

The future tapped me quietly on the shoulder the other day and suggested that I take a moment to learn about the writing bots. They’re coming!

Excuse me, they’re here. And they struck me as alien invaders, this recent manifestation of artificial intelligence on the internet, which college students, high school students — anybody — can download, feed a topic, and get it to write an essay for them. Is this technology’s next step, after Roomba the robot vacuum cleaner? Humanity is relieved of one more odious task — writing stuff.

“The chatbot,” Kalley Huang pointed out recently in the New York Times, “generates eerily articulate and nuanced text in response to short prompts, with people using it to write love letters, poetry, fan fiction — and their schoolwork.” Apparently, all you need to do to get the AI bot to produce a piece of prose (or poetry?) is give it a subject and whatever other information is necessary to define the topic you want it to blather about. It can then access the entire internet for its data and produce whatever — your English paper, your love sonnet. The possibility of student cheating has suddenly become dire enough that college professors are starting to rethink their writing assignments.

I have some advice for them. But before I get to that, I need to calm my own pounding heart. Writing — to me, as a lifelong journalist, essayist, poet, editor, writing teacher — can be difficult as hell, but every hour devoted to a project is a wondrous adventure, a reach into the great unknown, a journey of discovery, of learning, of becoming. I have described the columns I write as “prayers disguised as op-eds,” and it’s that word, prayer, that swelled and started palpitating as I stumbled on the existence of the writing bot. Should we let AI start writing our prayers? Should we shrug and simply stop being our fullest selves? Life is messy and writing is messy — it has to be. Truth is messy. If we turn the writing process over to the AI bots, my existential fear is that humanity has taken a step toward ending its evolution, ensconcing itself in a prison of conveniences.

“Due to its free nature and ability to write human-like essays on almost any topic, many students have been reaching for this model for their university assignments,” according to the website PC Guide, focusing its attention on an AI bot called ChatGPT, which recently proved smart enough to pass a law bar exam. “And if you are a student hoping to use this in the future, you may have concerns about whether your university can detect ChatGPT.” These words start to get at my primary concern about the whole phenomenon: Critics are missing the point, as they lament that the university’s grading system is under assault. OMG, has cheating gotten easier?

And suddenly it gets clear. When it comes to writing, there’s always been a gaping hole in the American educational system, a mainstream misunderstanding of the nature — the value — of actually learning to write … finding your words, finding your wisdom, finding your voice. Let me repeat: Finding your voice. That’s where it starts. Without it, what do you have? I fear this is a silent question that plagues way too many students — way too many people of all ages — who were taught, or force-fed, spelling and grammar and the yada yada of thematic construction: opening paragraph, whatever, conclusion.

I quote my mentor and longtime friend, the late Ken Macrorie, one of the teachers who bucked this system oh so many decades ago, when I was an undergraduate at Western Michigan University. He was a professor in the English department: “This dehydrated manner of producing writing that is never read is the contribution of the English teacher to the total university,” he wrote in his 1970 book, Uptaught. He was writing about his own career. He was trapped in a system that disdained most undergrads and their writing and often managed to force the worst out of them, aka academic writing, such as: “I consider experience to be an important part in the process of learning. For example, in the case of an athlete, experience plays an important role.”

Dead language! May it rest in peace. Artificial intelligence can no doubt do just as well, probably a lot better. Macrorie quoted this oh so typical example in his book — the kind of writing that is devoid of not only meaning but soul. His breakthrough discovery was what he called free writing: He had his students, on a regular basis, sit down and write for 20 minutes or longer without stopping — just let the words flow, let fragments of truth emerge, and share what you have written. Worry later about spelling, grammar, and such. First you have to find your voice.

I wound up taking his advanced writing class in 1966, two years after he began using free writing as his starting place. Wow. I found my way in … into my own soul. I learned that truth is not sheerly an external entity to be found in some important book. We all have it within us. Doing a “free write” is a means of panning for gold.

And this is the context in which I ponder this recent bit of techno-news: that students don’t have to rely on plagiarism to fake an essay. They can simply prompt a bot and let it do the work.

But that’s not the essence of our social dilemma. As long as the system — let’s call it artificial education — focuses on “teaching to the test” and insists on reducing individual intelligence to a number, and in so many ways ignores and belittles the complex and awakening potential of each student, we have a problem. AI isn’t the cause, but it helps expose it.

Robert Koehler (koehlercw@gmail.com), syndicated by PeaceVoice, is a Chicago award-winning journalist and editor. He is the author of Courage Grows Strong at the Wound.

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Fly On The Wall Blog Opinion

Futurepoop: Memphians Celebrate Arrival of Robot Toilet with Bratwurst & Barbecue

No, it’s not as exciting as a personal jetpack or as obvious as a flying car, but the astonishing automated future we were promised has to start somewhere. Why not the crapper?

Interrogative: Who needs humans when there are modern miracle robots to help you gas-up, pee, and buy a bag of chips?

Declarative: Me, apparently. 

This morning I dropped by the all (sorta) new Quick Fuel station at 4589 Old Lamar Ave., which was celebrating its grand-reopening by handing out free barbecue sandwiches, brats, and dewy cans of ice cold soda pop in Quick Fuel koozies. It was a lovely affair, as gas station grand reopenings go, but to bend an old cliche toward the literal, I’m getting too old for this crap. 

No card reader? Or anything else I can recognize? ‘Affirmative, Davis. I read you.’

 According to the lady handing out enormous piles of pulled shoulder with slaw and all the trimmings, the station was celebrating the arrival of a, “fancy” new sign, some “fancy” new gas pumps, and a “fancy” new, fully automated unisex bathroom that cleans itself top to bottom after every use. That seems a little excessive to me, but I’m not the one giving away barbecue sandwiches. (And it’s probably welcome news throughout Memphis’ OCD community). Did I mention that it’s fancy? So fancy, in fact, I never would have figured out the multi-step gas pumping procedure without the aid of three humans hovering around me explaining how I didn’t pay at the gas pump, but at a nearby card-reading station where one first enters the pump number, then dips a credit card. In order to get a receipt — with a 4-digit PIN required for anybody wanting to use the customers-only bathroom — one has to return to the pay station after pumping, re-enter the pump number and swipe his or her card a second time.

I haven’t felt this lost since Apple stopped using Google-based maps on the iPhone.
 

Not your pappy’s hook & eye.

The important question— and the one I’m sure you’re all asking right now — is whether or not this mechanized convenience stop exists in accordance with Isaac Asimov’s three laws of robotics. The short answer: I’m not sure. 


1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

I don’t really have enough information to address the question at this time, and all answers certainly hinge upon one’s definition of harm. Following contemporary political rhetoric, we can forego any notions of indirect economic injury and assume that these robots are only doing the jobs Americans don’t want, and don’t want to hire illegal immigrants to do for them. But customers who are already dancing and pinching their parts because they need to go to the bathroom really, really badly may experience discomfort and/or embarrassment while going through all the steps required for a potty PIN. As for cars with multiple passengers who all need to use the restroom —- I don’t know what to tell you other than we all have to make hard choices sometimes. 

Not recommended for long poopers.

2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. 

The automated bathroom was in cleaning mode when I went to use it, but as soon as I got the go-ahead light everything responded to my push-button commands. While urinating I was momentarily overcome by fearful memories of suicide booths in the animated TV show Futurama. But I finished my business unharmed. Before leaving I commanded, “Toilet, destroy all humans!” It was a reckless move on my part, I admit. Thankfully, no humans were hurt as a result of my bathroom visit. 

Quick Fuel: Pride of Memphis’ robot and boxcar stacking district.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.

It’s difficult to tell how the robot toilet I used might defend itself from advanced physical or electronic attacks, but it’s clear that the Quick Fuel automated filling (and emptying) station was at least designed to minimize opportunities for specific kinds of abuse. While waiting for the bathroom to finish cleaning itself I was approached by a middle-aged gentleman in a nice paisley shirt and wool coat. “There’s not a urinal in there,” he said, giving me a quick rundown of what to expect once I was inside. “We didn’t install urinals because people shit in them.”

Fair enough.

KOOZIE!

Automated self-cleaning restrooms are fairly common in parts of Europe, but this robot toilet, located in the heart of Lamar Avenue’s boxcar-stacking district, is allegedly the first of its kind in the U.S. Even if you’re a world traveler, intuitive and tech savvy, you’ll want to pay careful attention to the instructions.  

To access these instructions one must first enter the restroom. (They can be found elsewhere).

Fancy pooping everybody!

Fancy.