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Fun Stuff News of the Weird

News of the Weird: Week of 05/15/25

Irony

Daniel Murillo, 44, was arrested on March 16 in Kissimmee, Florida, accused of repeatedly punching a 24-year-old female acquaintance as they sat in a car, The Smoking Gun reported. Things had gotten tense between the two after they traveled from Tampa but ran out of money; a verbal argument, the victim told police, led to the battery. Strangely, though, in Murillo’s mugshot, he is wearing a black shirt with bold white letters reading: “I NEVER ARGUE.” He was charged with misdemeanor battery.

Oh, By the Way …

Passengers aboard the Cunard Line’s cruiser Queen Anne received an alarming message from the ship’s captain on March 13, the Independent reported. “This area is known for piracy threats,” the announcement said as the ship traveled between Australia and Manila. It went on to say that the external promenade deck would be closed overnight and “deck lights will be on to reduce the ship’s external lighting.” Passengers were also asked to turn off stateroom lights and keep their window shades down. A representative for Cunard said there was “no specific threat to the ship or its guests, and our onboard experience remained uninterrupted.”

Most Precious Criminal

Thomas Talbert, 18, was charged with felony robbery, theft, reckless endangerment, and possession of an instrument of crime on March 24 in Duncansville Borough, Pennsylvania, WJAC-TV reported. Talbert allegedly entered the Smokers Express Store brandishing a gun, with a face covering and gloves on, and demanded a carton of cigarettes and cash from the register. But Talbert’s “gun” was an airsoft gun, and he fled the scene on an e-bike, having only collected about $200. When authorities caught up with him, he initially denied the robbery, then admitted, “I did it.” He was held in the Blair County Prison on $50,000 bail.

Weird in the Wild

Napa County, California’s Morning Glory Spillway, a passive spillway in Lake Berryessa, hadn’t been used since 2019, IFLScience.com reported on March 25. But starting in February and continuing through March, the so-called “glory hole” has been busy draining excess water from the lake into Putah Creek. When lake levels exceed 440 feet, the water spills into a vortex that looks like a giant sink drain from above. The water falls 200 feet before rushing into the creek. Large amounts of rainfall have contributed to the higher lake levels.

It’s a Dirty Job

Maybe Deon De Groot, 26, is the Easter Bunny’s little helper. The Guardian reported that De Groot was seen stuffing about $283 worth of Cadbury Creme Eggs into a duffel bag at a Tesco Express in Peterborough, England, on March 22. He also concealed some in his jacket. After store staff flagged down officers, PC Guy Cunningham asked De Groot, “What have you got in there?” to which De Groot replied, “Creme Eggs.” De Groot was sentenced to 12 weeks in prison, suspended for a year, and was banned from Cambridgeshire for the next three months.

Americans Abroad

Ukrainian American national Mykhailo Viktorovych Polyakov, 24, was arrested on March 30 after he made a visit to a remote island in the Indian Ocean, the New York Post reported. North Sentinel Island is home to a hostile, isolated tribe called the Sentinelese, and traveling there is banned. Polyakov was seen taking off in a small boat around midnight on March 29, with his only cargo a coconut and a can of Coke, which he intended to present as “offerings for the Sentinelese.” H.S. Dhaliwal, the director general of police on the Andaman Islands, said officials were trying to find out more about Polyakov. He did make it to the island but appeared to be ignored by the natives. He left his offerings on the beach and collected sand samples, then returned to South Andaman. Police say in January, Polyakov filmed another remote tribe, the Jarawa, while visiting the Baratang Islands. An American missionary, John Allen Chau, was killed with an arrow by the Sentinelese in 2018.

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
© 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
Reprinted with permission.
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At Large Opinion

A Digression

I have been living by myself for the past week or so. My wife went to a legal convention in Minneapolis, and then went to visit our grandchildren in New York. In the old days, I would have said I’ve been “batching it,” meaning I’m living like a bachelor. But now, as I type it, I don’t understand why there’s a “t” in “batching.” Or is there? If I weren’t temporarily living alone, I’d ask my wife. She probably wouldn’t know, but she’d have an opinion, and that’s all you can really ask for in a relationship.

And now I’m reminded of the phrase, “confirmed bachelor,” which those of you of a certain age will remember. My favorite uncle was a confirmed bachelor. He lived for 30 years or so with his friend Richard, who was also a confirmed bachelor. That was some seriously confirmed batching it. My father always said he wished his brother would find a “nice gal” and settle down. I never knew if he was really that clueless or just trying to hide the truth from his children.

Anyway, I digress. But, to be honest, this column is beginning to look like a string of digressions in search of a point. I hope you’ll bear with me. I’m on my own here. Except for my dogs, who are both lying on the floor in my office. Their lack of ambition is appalling.

Sorry, another digression. My bad. I will find a point. I promise.

So, I read this week about the Sentinelese Tribe, who for 50,000 years have lived on one of the Andaman Islands in the Indian Ocean. They are the most isolated group of people in the world. They violently reject all visitors, firing arrows and slinging spears at any who dare approach their beaches. They killed the last person who tried to land, in 2018. It is thought that they are so violent against visitors because whenever an outsider has made contact in the past, the tribe was exposed to diseases that wiped out large segments of the population. After decades of various attempts at contacting them, the government of India has determined that no further attempts shall be made to communicate with the Sentinelese and that they should be left alone. Like me. So I can finish this column.

A friend recently sent me a video of a compelling commencement speech at Northwestern University by Illinois Governor JB Pritzker. It addressed the subject of kindness: “When we encounter someone who doesn’t look, live, love, or act like us,” he said, “our first thought is rooted in fear or judgment. It’s an evolutionary response. We survived as a species by being suspicious of things that we aren’t familiar with.”

The governor went on: “In order to be kind, we have to shut down that animal instinct, that fear, and force our brain to travel a different pathway. Empathy and compassion are evolved states of being that require the mental capacity to step past our basic instincts. … When someone’s path through this world is marked by acts of cruelty, they have failed the first test of an advanced society. They never forced their animal brain to evolve past its first instinct.”

I disagree somewhat with the governor on this latter point. Yes, there’s an instinctual cruelty that comes from fear — like that of the Sentinelese — but there is also rampant in our society — and our politics — an intentional cruelty that uses weak and disadvantaged people for personal gain, that weaponizes the fear in others, that mocks their disabilities, body shape, and speech, that demonizes skin color, religion, gender, and sexuality, not because of some primordial fear, but for selfish ambition.

Governor Pritzker ended his speech by saying that in his experience, “the smartest person in the room was often also the kindest.” In my experience, the reverse is also true. Dumbasses are often mean. Avoid them. Don’t vote for them.

So, all of this digression needs a finish. Maybe this quote from Kurt Vonnegut will work: “And how should we behave during this Apocalypse? We should be unusually kind to one another, certainly. … Jokes help. And get a dog, if you don’t already have one.” Or two. At least. You’ll never be alone. Or cruel.