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Shane Battier Sings Neil Diamond!

This is disturbing, but it must be shared. Beloved former Griz star Shane Battier has been videoed performing a karaoke version of “Forever in Blue Jeans” by Neil Diamond.

The Griz take on Battier’s Rockets tonight at FedExForum. Watch this video and get prepared. What’s next? Yao Ming crooning Celine Dion?

Watch it here, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

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The Cheat Sheet

The Stax Music Academy is selling former Grizzly Shane Battier’s Blackhawk Lincoln Mark VI on eBay. Sure, Battier plays for the Rockets now, but the car has leopard-print upholstery, a $5,000 stereo system, flashy rims, and autographed headrests.

Now you won’t have to go on MTV’s Pimp My Ride.

A lawyer for Anna Mae He’s foster parents presents a pretend conversation between the 8-year-old girl in the long-running custody battle and a Juvenile Court judge.

We hoped “the dialogue” might shed some light on what the little He is going through, but with “Anna Mae” talking about how “litigation was protracted,” all we know now is that she’ll make a fine attorney someday.

Greg Cravens

Hundreds of bags of ice — purchased by FEMA — are left to melt outside a warehouse on East Parkway. Ostensibly bought and warehoused in 2005 for future hurricane victims, the ice was dumped because FEMA bought too much.

Apparently, even if portions of the country are experiencing a heat wave, it’s better to throw your extra ice away. All we can say is that’s one way to liquefy your assets … and solidify your reputation. Heckuva job!

A WWII veteran is attacked and mugged in the basement bathroom of the local Veterans Medical Center. The 80-year-old Dyersburg man went to the hospital to pick up a new hearing aid. The device was initially lost in the struggle — the man grappled with his attacker — but was later found.

The hospital doesn’t know how a mugger slipped past security. Might we suggest they get new hearing aids, too?