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Fly on the Wall 1410

Legendary Legends

A digital report that appeared on The Commercial Appeal‘s website last week received attention across social media for recounting the epic tale of UT-Knoxville student Patrick Goswitz, the Sigma Chi frat brother who invited porn star Cherry Morgan to a formal dance last weekend.

“UT fraternity brother declared ‘a legend’ for date with porn star,” was originally published by the Knoxville News Sentinel and tells the touching story of young Goswitz, who was, in fact, described as a “legend” as a result of his date with Morgan, a Knoxville-based actress famous for appearing in adult films where, like many porn stars, she gives blowjobs to plumbers, pizza guys, and other dudes who deliver.

The astonishing saga of Goswitz and Morgan was told using quotes from blogs and social media and is most notable for containing the worst sentence in the history of print journalism: “Goswitz told [Dan] Regester [of the website Total Frat Move] via an Instagram interview uploaded on TFM that he had invited Morgan to the formal via a message on Facebook and she sent him ‘her digits’ and accepted.”

Judging by quoted comments, people with internet connections and Google alerts for Cherry Morgan had many newsworthy things to say about the hot date. One person wrote “Atta boy.” Another said “Lucky guy!” A third anonymous commenter wrote “Good for him,” while a somewhat sadder post read, “I would consider myself legendary to even bring a girl to meet my family.”

This was easily the hottest story the CA has published since the previous day’s breaking story about how nicotine makes it hard to quit smoking.