On Monday, the Tennessee state House approved the “success sequence” bill in a 73-20 vote. The bill, which would require the state’s public schools to teach a specific life path to “success,” previously passed the Senate in a 25-5 vote and is now headed to the desk of Governor Bill Lee for signing. That life path: education, marriage, kids.
In fact, the text of HB0178 focuses heavily on marriage as the crux of a “successful” life: “WHEREAS, children raised by married parents are more likely to flourish compared to children raised in single-parent families; and WHEREAS, children raised in stable, married-parent families are more likely to excel in school, and generally earn higher grade point averages than children who are not; and WHEREAS, children raised by married parents are about twice as likely to graduate from college than children who are not; and WHEREAS, children not raised in a home with married parents are twice as likely to end up in jail or prison before reaching thirty years of age …”
Perhaps data somewhere shows these things are more or less likely for children who had both parents around, but setting curriculum to teach youth that marriage is a required part of a “successful” life is an overstep. Will they, too, teach how to maintain a successful marriage? According to the National Center for Health Statistics, approximately 41 percent of first marriages and 60 percent of second marriages end in divorce. In 2021, the most recent state report showed Tennessee had a divorce rate of 3.3 per 1,000 inhabitants. And in 2024, U.S. News & World Report listed Tennessee among the top 10 states with the highest divorce rate. A crucial piece in teaching marriage as an asset would be teaching people how to navigate the commitments, challenges, and changes of marriage.
State Senator London Lamar, raised by a single mother, recently commented on the bill, noting it implies single parents are “less than.” “If you are not married, it does not mean that you are less than anybody else. I think this bill is misguided, it’s very offensive, and I’m living proof that this bill has no merit,” Lamar said.
I’m no senator. But I have what some may consider a successful life and career. My parents divorced when I was 5 years old, but I excelled in K-12, graduating with the fourth-highest grade point average in my high school class (a difference of mere tenths from valedictorian). I finished college at University of Memphis summa cum laude, with the highest GPA among all graduating journalism students that year. I held jobs while earning an education, taking an internship here with the Flyer as a working student. Dedicated to this publication, and with immense respect for the talented people with whom I work, I took positions in various departments to stick around — editorial, ad sales, advertorial — and wrote/edited for other magazines published by Contemporary Media. Through the years, I learned the ins and outs of the processes that make this thing work. In 2022, my bosses deemed me fit to run the whole Flyer shebang. I’m grateful and honored.
I’m also childless (by choice) and have never been married. I knew at a very young age I didn’t want children. And marriage is not for me. Do my life choices make me less than? By not following a rigid “sequence,” did I somehow fail?
Did my parents parting ways make me a bad kid? A dumb kid? A kid with less potential? No. My mother struggled at times as a single mom. But through her, I learned perseverance, determination, and the value of hard work. I knew that for most people, success (however it’s defined) would be a climb, and not a straight one — and that I was most people. I think the fact that I’m here, writing love notes to my dear city on a regular basis — and that you’re here, reading my words — is, by some measure, success.
Marriage and kids not required.