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News The Fly-By

Fly on the Wall 1498

EZ Weaves

After years of chasing recognition, Memphis officially became a World Class City ™ last week when a large, purple vending machine for hair weaves arrived at Wolfchase Galleria.

The Diamond Dynasty weave machine offers a variety of fancy hair options ranging in length and style and priced from $55-$80. TV newscasters said the vending machine will be a convenience for people who may need to change their look on the go. Like spies, maybe?

We’re #2…

In a story about the city’s declining murder rate, the Associated Press ran with the headline, “Killings Down in Tennessee’s Second Most Populous City.” It seems unnecessarily baroque and maybe a little shady even.

Verbatim

“Late at night and into the early morning hours, customers engage in so-called ‘money wars.’ The stacks of bills Dennis is bundling will be sold out of a duffel bag at the edge of the stage, minus 10 percent. In other words, $900 singles will cost you $1,000. In order to show off who has the most money to burn, customers will shower the girls with bills, competing with each other to make it rain money the hardest.” — Excerpted from “Money Wars at a Memphis Strip Club,” Forbes.

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News

Cordovans to Hold Info Meeting on Strip Club

There’s trouble brewing in Cordova, and that starts with “T” and ends with, well, “S”, and has two other letters in between. There’s a meeting tonight at a church to discuss the impact of a possible strip club. Bianca Phillips has more.

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News News Blog

Strip Club Meeting in Cordova

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When the compound-esque building at 7955 Fischer Steel Road in Cordova was erected in early 2009, neighborhood leaders warned Cordovans that building owner Steve Cooper was possibly planning to open a strip club in the space.

But concerned residents backed off when Cooper, who also owns the Gold Club, opened Stella Marris as a steak and seafood joint rather than a strip joint. Stella Marris operated as such until earlier this year when Cooper closed the restaurant. In February, Cooper applied for a compensated dance permit from the city, but his efforts were halted when the Memphis City Council imposed a 60-day moratorium on issuing such permits.

Tonight (March 15th), the Cordova Leadership Council — the same group who held anti-strip club meetings in 2009 — is hosting a community forum to inform residents about what a compensated dance permit would allow Cooper to do at Stella Marris. The meeting begins at 6 p.m. at Advent Presbyterian Church at 1875 North Germantown Parkway.

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News The Fly-By

The Last Dollar Dance

Instead of naked women, a thick layer of dust covered the main stage of the former Platinum Plus Thursday morning.

A long line formed outside the club before 10 a.m., and more than 200 people crowded inside to see Memphis’ most notorious strip club — shut down more than two years ago — and maybe buy a keepsake.

The state auctioned off all the personal property in the building last week, including chairs, poles, the DJ booth and sound equipment, and strippers’ outfits and shoes.

Some auction attendees, most of whom were men, came out of curiosity while others came for old times’ sake.

Memphian Matt Kruse said he had been to Platinum in the past for bachelor and birthday parties. “I’m not buying anything. I’m just out here seeing old memories,” Kruse said.

He wasn’t the only one. Dancers were in the locker rooms dodging reporters and photographers to get one last look — and some pictures — of their former workplace.

“I’ve already checked your locker,” one heavily made-up blonde said to another. “These are my shoes,” said another dancer, looking through the piles of stacked heels and pleather boots that lined the dressing-room counters.

Most of the lockers are decorated with the dancers’ daily words of wisdom: Bible verses and stickers that say things such as “I’m easy if you’re hard,” “Nice People Swallow,” and “5 days a week my body’s a temple, the other 2 days it’s an amusement park.”

In the main room, opened doors and a few standing lights helped bidders see the items for sale.

“I know the lighting is bad in here,” auctioneer Ken Roebuck said to the crowd, “but most of y’all got cat eyes anyway. You’ve been coming here for years.”

Memphian Darryl Johnson bid on and won many items, including the lighting rig that once illuminated the main stage and both mini-cage stages.

“I’m opening up a club,” Johnson said, though he wouldn’t say where. “It won’t be an adult entertainment club though, just a dance club.”

Another bidder, who asked to be identified as James, bought a painted glass window — featuring a naked beauty — for $675.

“I’ve spent plenty of years in here. I’m bidding on a few things,” James said. “This glass is a classic piece of art. I’m going to find a backdrop for it and put it in my house.”

The bar, which Roebuck said had once belonged to Al Capone and contained miscellaneous bullet holes, sold for $30,000. The large disco ball: $500.

In total, the auction netted $60,000 for the state.

“We’ve never held an auction at a nightclub before, so we weren’t sure how much it would bring in,” said Jennifer Donnals, communications director for the Shelby County District Attorney’s Office. “The money will be divided proportionately between all of the agencies that participated in the investigation and operation.”

The building will be sold at a later date.

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Opinion The Last Word

The Rant

A Florida man says that his son was taken advantage of by a Florida Panhandle strip joint. Seems the father gave his son his credit card to celebrate his graduation from Georgia Tech, and the boy ran up a $53,000 tab. This appears to be a case where the strippers were the ones who got a “happy ending.”

I guess the young man, catapulted to an undergrad degree at the tender of age 24, did not learn the economics of real life in school — chief among them is to never give strippers a free shot at your credit card, no matter how drunk you are.

Much like their brethren the lawyers, strippers quickly size up a potential client for how much they can fleece from them, based on how much money they have and how stupid they appear to be.  

I have always supported honest entrepreneurs, especially when pitted against the stupid. It is good for society when money is not left too long in the hands of idiots. It is God’s way of getting money into smarter folks’ pockets. For the less religious among us, I call it economic Darwinism, and it often happens one crumpled $5 bill at a time. As the old saying goes, “A fool and his money are soon parted.” In this case, a fool and his dad’s money were soon partying.  

I do understand these men who spend silly amounts of money in strip clubs. I have had friends whose longest female relationships have lasted two table dances. Men go to these clubs to make themselves feel important because they are lacking in self-esteem or personal affirmation. They are paying for the illusion of being a big shot, and they convince themselves that these women actually think they are attractive. They usually get buyer’s remorse when the stripper’s cooing and ego-stroking ends, which invariably happens when the guy’s money runs out. Who knew?

Surprisingly, the government, which likes to wet its beak in all vices, has yet to devise a way to muscle in on the strip-joint business. They’ve done better with our other bad habits. The feds pay farmers to grow tobacco, then tax cigarettes, and then push lawsuits against cigarette manufacturers. Governments are also into gambling big-time now, sponsoring their own state lotteries (akin to running numbers) and licensing casinos. And of course, there is booze, where government takes an inordinate cut via taxes on alcohol sales. It is best to view the government as a mob boss without the protection racket — or moral consistency. 

I don’t go to strip clubs, but it’s not because I have any ethical opposition to them. The average stripper is doing the best she can with the assets she has to make money and provide for her famiy. And I respect that — especially her assets. Basically, I don’t go simply because I am too cheap.

As for the Georgia Tech grad, it sounds like he got a master’s in finance that night — for $53,000! Welcome to the real world, son! Pain is an excellent teacher, and often, in a society that makes excuses for bad behavior, it can be the only teacher. Of course, ridicule helps, which is what I do. It is my way of giving back.

Experience is how we learn life’s lessons. Experience delivers certain harsh truths to us Homo sapiens (and straight sapiens, too). This incident taught a young man the most valuable lesson in life: Don’t be an idiot.

See, everyone has a role in our society, even strippers.

Ron Hart is a columnist and former resident of Memphis.

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News The Fly-By

Bottoming Out

When the local Crime Commission looked at crime data from January to June 2004, they found a surprising fact: Christie’s — an adult nightclub that boasts hot girls and one-cent drafts — accounted for only 0.1 percent of all crime in its ward.

During that same period, however, nearby Hickory Ridge Mall accounted for 7.5 percent of the crime in the area. In fact, even Ridgeway Middle School reported more crime than Christie’s.

But for Eric Damian Kelly, the strip-club-ordinance specialist, even those numbers suggest the city needs to change its relationship with sexually oriented businesses.

Both the City Council and the County Commission are considering new restrictions on sexually oriented businesses, including a ban on alcohol sales and stricter licensing requirements.

“The Memphis Shelby Crime Commission did a study with the records to show adverse secondary effects on the community,” Kelly told a recent City Council committee. “They found high schools and convenience stores were more of a detriment to the community than strip clubs.”

Of course, if that were true, Memphis would be in more trouble than a cheating husband. Local strip clubs have a reputation for being raunchy, as well as havens for illegal activity. The so-called Mt. Moriah Performing Arts Center, Platinum Plus, where Kelly witnessed a live sex show, was shut down last December because of drugs and prostitution. The Black Tail Shake Joint, known for its “back door,” was closed in February under a public nuisance complaint.

But the numbers — or lack of them — are somewhat telling. The Crime Commission noted that most strip clubs have a “do not call” policy when it comes to law enforcement; generally, schools and convenience stores do not.

Currently, the city handles violations at sexually oriented businesses in three ways: beer board fines for the establishment, fines for individual dancers, and nuisance complaints.

But those options provide about as much coverage as a G-string.

The business fines are too small to matter. Brief suspensions of beer licenses have little impact, and within recent history, the beer board hasn’t revoked anyone’s license.

A fine might make a dancer think twice about hopping back on stage — if her establishment doesn’t pay it for her — but there are always other girls to take her place. And the nuisance complaints take months, if not years, to develop a solid case.

“You need to shift enforcement,” Kelly said. “Cite the establishment instead of the performers. It’s worth going after the back rooms.”

In a report to the council, Kelly recommended banning back rooms that are not visible to the public and utilizing penalty provisions with fines up to $2,500 and possible jail time.

Though the report suggests citing owners and managers, dancers could face stricter penalties, too. The report said dancers should be prosecuted for prostitution since the penalties for that are more serious than penalties for “being bottomless.”

And let’s be honest. Being bottomless is one thing. Being bottomless and on top of someone giving you dollar bills is another.

More importantly, Kelly recommended keeping a record of every citation or violation for alcohol, drugs, nudity, and sexual activity and tracking it by establishment, owner, and entertainer.

In the past, clubs have changed names — even their holding companies have changed names — while the owners and the establishment remain virtually the same. There are several clubs in town, but only a few owners.

For Kelly, a tough licensing ordinance would go a long way in eliminating repeat offenders.

“You [should be] able to pull [an owner’s] license and he wouldn’t be able to get another one,” Kelly said.

County commissioner Mike Ritz, sponsor of the county proposal, agreed. “Everybody who works in the clubs and all the owners would have to get a license. It doesn’t take long to say you’re going to be out of here.”

Not that everything is a done deal. The county is expected to hold a public hearing later this month, and new council member Henry Hooper II is working with Ritz on a joint city/county proposal. City Council members were interested in the implications of a ban on alcohol sales and the legal challenges they would encounter.

(Apparently, “birthday” aren’t the only suits club owners are familiar with.)

“They’re going to sue you as a matter of principle if you take a hard line,” Kelly told council members, “because you’re threatening their income.”

I know there are people out there who think regulating sexually oriented businesses is a waste of time. Maybe it is. The city has let shake joints get away with so much for so long, it might be better off creating a strip-club district and taking the local industry from infamous to just plain famous. Doing that, however, would still require more regulation.

On its own, a tougher licensing ordinance — along with a better relationship between club owners and operators and police officers — could forgo the need for undercover operations, such as the 24-month investigation that succeeded in closing Platinum Plus.

Veteran councilmember Jack Sammons said he’d rather see police officers fighting crime than staking out the shake joints.

“I want to see our police resources on the ground dealing with the crime issues we have,” Sammons said. “When we have officers measuring if someone is 12 inches away from Pamela Anderson, then I think we have a problem.”

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News The Fly-By

Fly on the Wall

Art’s Sake

The Tennessee Center for Policy Research, a conservative think tank, recently released a study cleverly titled 2007 Tennessee Pork Report: Tennessee Government Gone Hog Wild. Not surprisingly, the organization frowns on public funding of the arts, and knowing that you can’t bash The Nutcracker, TCFPR honchos Drew Johnson and Trent Seibert have wisely compiled a list of dirty art made by dirty artists with public money. Five thousand dollars went to Jeff Hand, a sculptor who stitches pillows that look like Viagra and well endowed teddy bears. University of Memphis alum Nate Eppler, who received numerous critical plaudits and awards when his play Keeping Up with the Joneses premiered at the U of M, was also singled out. Eppler used his 5G to produce his latest play, Mr. Greenjeans, which the report describes as “an intentional misinterpretation of a 1970s Japanese play The Green Stockings … follow[ing] the life of a man who has both the stomach of a cow and a suicidal panty fetish.” Congratulations of some sort are probably in order.

Fun with Headlines

Can you guess which of these actual headlines from local media organizations doesn’t belong here?

“South Memphis Neighborhood Happy the Bullets Stopped Flying”

“Police Standoff Ends”

“Woman Shot in North Memphis”

“Three Teens Wounded in Random Shooting in Memphis”

“Commissioner Plans to Propose [Adult] Nightclub Crackdown.”

Even as the bullets zip around our ears and ankles, Shelby County Commissioners like Mike Ritz are devising newer and better ways to suspend liquor licenses and combat the dangerous proliferation of jiggly female nakedness. The latest surge against the skinful enemy is crucial because if you don’t fight these glitter-smeared boobies in their native clubs today, you’ll be fighting them in your kitchen tomorrow. Better buy a gun, y’all.

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News The Fly-By

Italian Gravy

Over the past month, construction crews have been erecting the wall of a new building on Fisher Steel Road, and if neighbors’ suspicions are correct, that might not be the last thing to be, er, erected at the site.

Outside the windowless structure, a sign heralds the arrival of La Italiano, ostensibly an Italian restaurant. But given the building’s facade and the fact the owner, Steve Cooper, also runs Christie’s Cabaret and the Gold Club, some Cordova residents fear the restaurant will actually be a strip club.

Last week, more than 200 concerned citizens gathered at a Cordova Leadership Council meeting. Brian Stephens, who sits on the council’s board of directors, informed residents that Cooper’s property is zoned “heavy industrial,” the proper zoning for a strip club.

However, Stephens said the location is too close to both a church and a residential area for a strip club. According to city ordinance, sexually oriented businesses cannot be located within 1,500 feet of churches, schools, homes, or parks.

Stephens warned residents of Cooper’s plans to subdivide the lot. If divided a certain way, the restaurant would be outside the 1,500-foot perimeter.

Shortly after Cooper purchased the land in 1998, he went before the Land Use Control Board to request the property be divided into two lots. The board asked Cooper for a plan describing what he would be doing with each piece of the property, but Cooper refused and his request was rejected. He appealed to the City Council, but it told him to go back to the Land Use Control Board.

“He didn’t want to do that, so he filed suit against the city,” Stephens said. “The local federal court said no, you do need to go back to the Land Use Control Board and show them what they’ve asked for. He didn’t want to do that either, so he’s appealed to the Sixth Circuit appellate level court.” That case is ongoing.

Recently, the County Commission approved a resolution calling for Cooper to use his property in a lawful manner.

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News The Fly-By

Fly on the Wall

Weird Headline

Two questions: Who in the name of great Caesar’s ghost is writing headlines for The Daily News, and what can be done to stop them? On Tuesday, April 24th, the paper printed a news brief headlined to attract the attention of imaginary sports enthusiasts and fans of inexplicably popular bands. The article “Bowling for Soup” chronicled the various actions being taken to determine whether or not Liberty Bowl Memorial Stadium should be replaced. The story had nothing to do with bowling, soup, or hangovers you don’t deserve.

Memphis Mammaries

This week marks the end of a brief, bizarre, and modestly troubling era. Strip-club owner Charles “Jerry” Westlund has finally agreed to take down a controversial billboard northbound on US 61 between Tunica and Memphis. Now bleary-eyed travelers returning to Memphis after a long night of drinking and dice will no longer be subjected to Westlund’s sign, which reads, “Got Boobs?” So much for roadside attractions.

Return to Sender

Elvis Presley Enterprises, hoping to make Graceland a tourist attraction comparable to America’s larger theme parks, recently announced a new advertising campaign. EPE’s CMO Paul Jankowski has been quoted as saying, “The Discover Your Inner Elvis campaign will be used … to support [Graceland’s] worldwide branding strategy.” So Graceland hopes a catchphrase will help it compete with Six Flags, eh? Didn’t the caretakers of Elvis’ estate just blow a golden opportunity to buy Elvis’ favorite roller coaster dirt-cheap?

Correction

After last week’s Fly mentioned a WMC news story, the station’s good-natured anchor Joe Birch wrote in to complain that the accompanying picture was not an accurate representation of his current hairstyle (see Letters to the Editor).

We regret the hairor.