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Stop Buying Massive Trucks (for No Reason)

Going from a McLaren to a Ford F-450 diesel is a logical progression, right? Probably not. I’ll jump right into some numbers: over 20 percent of new vehicles sold are pickup trucks. The top three best-selling vehicles on the market are full-size pickups (Ford F series, Ram 1500, and Chevy Silverado). Why? Statistics show that the vast majority of truck owners don’t use their trucks for truck things more than a couple times per year. So, why do so many people spend $56,000, on average, on pickups when they could just buy something more logical and rent or borrow a truck when needed? People like big trucks, that’s why. 

I am a proponent of buying the right tool for the job. This also applies to car buying. If you want a practical, no frills, cheap daily driver, you get a Prius. If you want an affordable sports car, you get a Miata. If you need to haul 30,000 pounds of junk, you get a heavy-duty truck. Most people will need a truck once or twice a year. So, they go buy one and daily drive it just so they’re ready for those few hours of truck things. It’s mind-bogglingly illogical. It costs about $40 to rent the Home Depot truck for half a day. It costs an extra couple thousand per year to drive a full-size truck rather than a nice, practical Mazda 3 hatch, for example. It costs around $45K to own an F150 for five years. A Mazda 3 costs $28K to own for five years. That is a massive difference! And I didn’t pick some horrible econobox to compare to the F150, the Mazda 3 is an excellent car with an amazing interior, great driving dynamics, excellent design, and tons of space. 

I spent a week daily driving a 2013 Ford F-450 Lariat with the 6.7L turbo diesel. It’s massive. This one has the crew cab and 8’ bed which is the longest version you can buy. In fact, It’s the longest noncommercial vehicle on the market at 22 feet long and it’s also 8’ wide not including the mirrors and weighs 8,000 lbs. which is the same as 4 Mitsubishi Mirages. The big diesel makes 400 hp and a whopping 800 lbs./ft of torque which makes this thing four seconds faster to 60 mph than a Mitsubishi Mirage. This F-450 was equipped with a killer Sony sound system with a sub built in, heated and cooled leather seats, and all the other usual features. The seats are huge and very comfortable and, obviously, there is a ton of space. It has a normal glove box, huge center console, and even a third enclosed storage area on top of the dash with more 12v and USB outlets built in. This thing makes a Rolls Royce Phantom feel cramped. No complaints about the interior, especially for a 2013 model. But, as soon as you start driving, the size of this behemoth makes itself very known. It’s wider than a Hummer H1 and longer than any other truck on the market, so it’s not exactly easy to maneuver. Parking lots are a nightmare, driveways seem like they’re made by Little Tikes by comparison, and you can just forget about street parking in a city. Turning in this truck feels more like turning in a bus rather than a normal car. You can feel yourself moving sideways if that makes any sense. I emptied out my normal Germantown two-car garage to see if this truck would fit. Not even close. I pulled into the garage as far as possible and there was still a few feet of truck sticking out. The size isn’t a problem if you’re towing a gooseneck across the country, but as a daily driver, it’s immensely impractical. 

But, here’s the thing, if we all bought cars purely based on logic, we would all drive Priuses. That’s a boring world that I want no part of. So, go buy yourself a big ole parkin’ spot fillin’, diesel suckin’, garage not fittin’, hard maneuverin’ pickup if that’s what you want! But don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Not quite (Credit: Jon Luke Cave)