Apparently I have been dead for more than a year, and I didn’t even realize it. I admit I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately, and perhaps crankier than usual. But if this is heaven, then it’s really not half as nice as I had expected. If anything, I thought I’d at least get a newer car, and perhaps an upgraded computer. You know, a Mac with “Snow Leopard” already on it.
Unless — UH OH — I ended up in “the other place” way down below. If that’s the case (and I really can’t think why it wouldn’t be), then my bleak surroundings make sense. Though it’s not quite as hot as what they used to tell us in Sunday School.
What AM I blathering about? Well, one of my many, many readers sent me this clipping from his Columbia University alumni magazine, which tells of the unfortunate demise of another Vance Lauderdale — clearly some rascal who stole my identity and even tried to pass himself off as a doctor. Then look what happened to him.
Let this be a lesson to us all. Or something. I’m not sure what to make of it.
At any rate, rest in peace, Vance.
