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Opinion The Last Word

The Rant

Is it just me, or is there something just a little bit creepy about people lining the sidewalks of London with phones in every hand, waiting to send tweets and Facebook messages to the world, while people all over the globe are on the edge of their seats, glued to the news, awaiting the announcement that Kate Middleton has popped a baby out of her body?

All kind of calamity is going to break loose when it happens (hopefully, that will have happened by the time you read this) and churches plan on ringing those huge bells and there are going to be guns and cannons firing off everywhere. I have never been into the rebirthing thing, but shouldn’t the birth of a baby be treated with a little less fanfare to make it a little less traumatic? I mean, the kid has been in that warm womb for more than nine months, and when it comes out it might as well be paraded through the streets of screaming, royal-obsessed maniacs who will probably try to throw flowers and teddy bears at it. What a way to enter the world. Oh, and I did hear some chatter on the news about the birth being filmed. No, no, no, no. Please don’t do that. Is there nothing sacred or personal anymore in this world of social media?

Even though I’m not a royal watcher and don’t have a personal Twitter account, all of this instant communication (and I’m a communications director by day) is making me feel a little exhausted. Why does every single thing that happens in the world need to be broadcast that very second? What is the purpose? I was thinking about all of this recently and wondering if perhaps I am just being an old fuddy duddy and maybe I should think social media is a lot cooler than it is and not be exhausted by it and what is the first thing I see on the morning news when I stagger into the room with my first cup of coffee and eyes still not quite all the way open: a semi-naked photograph of Geraldo Rivera, apparently in a tweet he sent out wishing himself a happy 70th birthday.

Now you tell me: Is it a good thing for Geraldo Rivera (who, by the way, once spilled a drink on me) to send out semi-naked photos of himself? Why would he or anyone do that? I don’t even walk around my own house with my shirt off, and I think I would never leave said house again if I had either accidentally or, God forbid, intentionally sent out a photo of myself dressed (or not dressed, as it were) to ANYONE, much less the media and the entire world. I’m telling you, it was gross — Anthony Weiner gross.

And it still freaks me out that I can press a little button and send information to people all across the world within a millisecond. Does that not freak out anyone else? We have a presence on Mars, we have drones that don’t require anyone to actually be on board to fly them, but we can’t cure the common cold, find a fix for male-pattern baldness, end hunger, or have Congress agree on anything, ever, at all. And we can’t even bail out poor Detroit.

I feel sorry for Detroit. And I think the rest of the country needs to do something to come to the city’s aid and help it during this unfortunate bankruptcy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. I know most of you are thinking that crime and crooked politicians got the city into the mess, and it is getting what it deserves, but have a little compassion. I am all for the United States offering foreign aid to countries that suffer horrible disasters like famine, earthquakes, tsunamis, and other major disasters. But why can’t we do something to help Detroit out of its financial problems?

It’s one of the great American cities, once known as the “Paris of the West.” I’ve never been there, but I don’t think I need to visit the city that gave us Motown and the automobile to know it deserves a break. I know that when many of you think of Detroit, you think of urban decay and crime and such, but I think of a young Diana Ross and her friends skipping through their apartment complex singing their hearts out and becoming Diana Ross & the Supremes. I think of Gladys Knight & the Pips, Martha & the Vandellas, the Spinners, the Jackson 5, and all of the other terrific artists who made Motown what it was and helped give Detroit a personality all its own. It’s a shame that it has fallen into such bad times that retirees are facing losing their pensions or seeing them significantly reduced, and it’s a shame that so many buildings of such architectural significance are sitting empty there. I think I might have to post something about it on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Foursquare, and any other means possible to see if there’s someone in the world who’ll help save the Motor City.

Well, I’ll do it just as soon as that baby is born.