This is how pathetic my life is sometimes: I had a dream the other night about the Sears/K-Mart merger. I pray this is because of the hallucinogenic I ingested about 100 years ago when I went to high school every few days, or because I was sleeping with the television on and reports of the merger were entering my psyche without me really knowing it. I would hate to think that I actually have an interest in this. I would much rather dream about George W. Bush down there in Chili wearing that poncho and looking like a circus freak. No wonder the people protesting his visit took to the streets well before he even arrived. But then, I have no interest in that either. I have no interest in anything the man does anymore. No, I m not a whining liberal mad because he got reelected (well, maybe just a little bit). I just don t care anymore because everything he does is heinous and he gets away with it all. I just flip the page of the newspaper when I see his name in a headline. Now, if he were to take really drunk again, that would be a different story. I wish I had been sleeping with the television on during reports of the big fight at the NBA game between Indiana and Detroit. What a mess that was. With all due respect to my respected colleague Geoff Calkins, who aptly called the debacle in his Commercial Appeal coverage The Throwdown in Motown and The Malice in the Palace, I m afraid I m going to have to go with Acting Shitty in the Motor City! Why, it was almost as bad as the fiasco that has the entire city of Memphis embroiled in heated controversy and has flooded the newspapers and on-line comment news sites of the local television stations with thousands of outraged people who seem to think society as we know it is crumbling into anarchy because of an eighth-grade food fight. You people obviously didn t attend Wooddale Junior High School in the eighth grade, as I did, or you d have bigger things to worry about. That s what we called study hall. Don t you realize that the Artic is melting?! Aren t you aware that Martha Stewart is being forced to scrub toilets?! Are you not sleepless at night because Katie Couric, despite her millions, doesn t seem to have purchased a new article of clothing since 1994? Do you have no interest in the upcoming David Gest Holiday Extravaganza?! About that one, I am fairly obsessed, what with Tippi Hedren scheduled to be here and all. And David, if you are reading this, I need to talk with you. If Kim Weston is going to be here we need her to visit the Stax Museum because she is featured in the current Wattstax: It Remains to Be Seen exhibit, singing Lift Every Voice and Sing on the video real from the original Wattstax concert. She MUST come by and see it. Just call me and let me know. In the meantime, here s a quick look at some of what s going on around town this week. Today, of course, is Thanksgiving, you you re probably chowing down with the family, watching football, and doing whatever else it is you do on this holiday. I plan to dress up like a pilgrim and frighten as many people as possible by acting like a town crier. Here ye! Here ye! Look at the size of your president s ears! Or something like that. If you re looking for an alternative to the normal holiday experience, head to Skullar s Place on Mississippi Boulevard at Danny Thomas for their noon-4 p.m. Tri-State Annual Thanksgiving Dinner. And if you re looking for an escape later tonight, you can t beat going down to Beale Street for a few sets by James Govan & The Boogie Blues Band at Rum Boogie CafÇ (which, by the way, has one of the best happy hours in town). Or catch The Tyrone Smith Revueat Newby s. And the Memphis Riverkings play Fort Worth tonight at DeSoto Civic Center. — Tim Sampson
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