Someone asked me the other day why I didn t write more anti-war messages in this space. I felt kind of bad about that, but then what could I possibly say that wouldn t be completely predictable and who really cares what I think about it anyway? And if I printed what I really think about it, you still wouldn t care and I d probably get a visit from Bush s Secret Service people or have John Ashcroft looking up my rectum through a computer chip viewing apparatus. I m all in favor of the mass protests, but I believe that whether or not this war happens is simply in the hands of predestined fate and anything I could possibly write about how wrong and ignorant it is any war, for any reason, after thousands and thousands of years to evolve, most of them wasted, apparently, by men worried about money, power, and the size of their penises would not change a thing. That s why I was so glad to run across an article by thestranger.com writer Neal Pollack that basically agrees that so much of what is being written is just so writers can read their own work. Here s just a couple of his statements: Shut up, antiwar people. Shut up, pro-war people. Shut down your computers and shut your goddamn pieholes. No one gives a shit about what you write, so stop writing about the war. Shut up, all of you. I wouldn t have put that quite so bluntly, but I m glad he did. And you should read his take on the 100 Poets Against War, about which he thinks the intention of the movement is nice, but it s no excuse for trying to use the war to try to garner more attention for their pathetic attempts at poetry. If you want to read the rest of what he has to say, check out thestranger.com. If you want to have some real fun, just type in Bush Twins on your search engine and check out the dozens and dozens of sites dedicated to the First Twins. There s an amazing subculture out there obsessed with Daddy s Little Darlings. Lots of stories about them partying even one by the waiter who served her the infamous glass of wine that got the poor thing into so much trouble. I think even left wing people are obsesses with them and actually like them because somehow they ended up being interesting, nice young women, despite the odds. And they love to party. And just try typing in First Niece Noelle Bush s name. Whew. It s extraordinary. I think it s great to type in the name of the president s niece and on the first site you come to the first thing you see is her mug shot taken when she was arrested not long ago for trying to score xanax with a phony prescription. Poor thing. Lord knows she needs them. At any rate, enough of this. What do you care about what someone has to say who tried to call a friend with the television remote control the other day, anyway? And there s a lot going on around town this week, so let s get on with it. Tonight, there s an opening reception at the new Olivia Cornwell Galleries on South Main St. for an exhibition by Ashley Saer. Native Son is playing at the Flying Saucer. And at Capriccio Bar in The Peabody, tonight s Shake & Stir Thursdays with 107.5 The Pig brings in Rhett Miller, about whom Details magazine recently wrote: Good-looking guitar pickers who croon world-weary lines of love and loss tend to get laid a lot. They also tend to get labeled pretty boys by jealous boyfriends. But just because Rhett Miller could make a straight man blush doesn t mean he ll unleash his inner Kenny Loggins on his new solo album, The Instigator. If you want to go, you can register online at www.radiopig.com.
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