Well, it seems that it s that Memphis Flyer Best of Memphis time again, in which you readers can vote on all of your favorite things about Memphis. First off, use good judgment this year. Be sensible. Think it through. Vote for Pat Vanderschaff for Best Memphian, just because of her hair; vote for George W. Bush for Person You d Most Like to See Run Out of Town, just in case he ever stops playing golf on vacation long enough to come here as American soldiers are dying in his war every day and the Mid-East is becoming more dangerous than it has been in centuries, because of him; and for God s sake, vote for Geoff Calkins for Best Local Newspaper Columnist. And it seems to me that a few categories were somehow left out, such as, Best Reason to Believe The End of the World is Near. Take all of the storms we ve been having lately. I was running across the street from my office building the other night during that downtown electrical storm and huge blue flash hit right behind me on the street, followed by an instant whopper of thunder that shook the whole neighborhood. I guess I was almost struck by lightning. I tried to think of what I could have done in the past to merit that, but the list was so long I had to put it out of my mind. Then, I put on a suit and tie and went to a church and a country club in Cordova. To the sweet, sweet, couple whose wedding and reception I attended, I say only that the last time I did this was when my mother died, and you damn well better stayed married! Then I opened The Commercial Appeal Monday morning, already kind of queasy from this all-vegetable-soup diet that a friend of mine turned me onto (I hope this one works better than the other 34,000 diets I have been on since age 3; and I don t know if I should trust this character or not because he has a one-eyed dog that lost the other in a fight over a Pop Tart) to read an article about Ted Williams getting his head chopped off and frozen upon his death. Lovely. A stone that probably hasn t moved in 10 centuries fell off of a fence in Ireland the other day and landed on my ankle. In a nearby town, a doorman made me go eat fish and chips and bring him the receipt before allowing me in. Someone told me I should go live in China with Alec Baldwin because of my anti-war attitude, to which I replied, Sister, if I thought Alec Baldwin would let me come live with him I d pack up for Siberia and burn rubber. And has anyone else checked out the BBC s coverage of the Giant Gerbils that are eating away all of the grasslands in China? Richard Gere, don t even think about it. See? All signs that the Big Day is coming to us soon. So watch your step. In the meantime, here s a little bit about what s going on around town this week. Today kicks off this weekend s Center for Southern Folklore s Memphis Music & Heritage Festival in the South Main Arts District, with live music by numerous bands, outdoor vending, kids stuff, TAJJ Championship Wrestling, ethnic dancing, food, and other things. And speaking of wrestling, I do believe that there is Midget Wrestling tonight at PT s Showclub, again with paramedics on hand in case of an emergency (like midget wrestling at a topless bar is not an emergency in itself). Skinny White Chick and Andrue Sullivan are at Otherlands Coffee Bar tonight. And Andy Grooms is now playing at The Glass Onion on Thursday nights.
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