I must be stupid. Hey, hey! Stop nodding your head up and down and help me out here. Did I actually hear that the Liar said in his State of the Union address the other night that no one else in the world will ever doubt America s word? Of course, I didn t watch the address because I didn t want to ram a crowbar into my television. But did he really say this? If so, has he seen a psychiatrist? Millions of people from all over the world — India, London, Paris, Ireland, Pakistan, South Korea, even Atlanta, where hundreds of protesters made it clear that they didn t even think the Liar was fit to put a wreath on Dr. Martin Luther King s grave — have been taking to the streets to, uh, doubt America s word. Or bet ter yet, doubt his word. Nearly every major European newspaper is printing story after story about how dishonest this administration is. This is not my Bush-bashing opinion. This is fact. They are mad at him for lying. And if you don t believe the Liar lies, just type Bush lies in Google s search engine. Last Sunday, it re turned 1.75 million results. And if you haven t heard of Katherine Gun, learn more about her. What you ll find is that she is in a British prison for going to The Observer with something she found as a British intelligence interpreter. She came across a dirty little piece of information about the United States and Great Britain and felt it her duty to report it because, she said, it was necessary to prevent an illegal war in which thousands of Iraqi civilians and British soldiers would be killed or maimed. The Bush administration and the National Security Agency, along with Queenie s empire, were spying on delegates at the United Nations in New York who were representing countries that were on the fence about whether or not to support the war in Iraq. They were wiretapping the home and office phones and secretly reading e-mails of the delegates from Mexico, Chile, Angola, Cameroon, Guinea, and Pakistan in an ef fort to monitor their actions and decide how to convince them to join in the march to war that was all based on lies. Am I stupid, or was it not wrong, if not illegal, to do this? Can you imagine if they were caught wiretapping the Liar s home and office phone and e-mail, provided he knows how to use e-mail? Can you imagine the things they might hear? Laura, do you think they notice when I roll my eyes real quick-like to look around the room and see people s reactions when I use those big words you taught me? Condi tells me that some more American soldiers were killed today and some Iraqi children too. I sure am glad we re here at the ranch on vacation again. Well, guess I d better get ready for my next fund-raiser. Here s another one for you: Vice President Cheney s cronies at his precious Halliburton just admitted that some of their officials got millions of dollars in kickbacks from the oil scam they pulled on the U.S. military in Iraq and Ku wait. The Liar suddenly thinks it wise to spend billions upon bil lions of dollars to go to Mars. NASA is working on a program to drill for water on Mars to study it. Who is one of NASA s major partners? Halliburton. This is not my Bush-bashing opinion. This is fact. My opinion — that the Liar should be tried for war crimes and obstruction of justice — may be a knee-jerk, left-wing liberal one, for which I am not one bit ashamed. But facts are facts. It s just too bad they don t seem to matter anymore. There. I guess I must be stupid or just missing some thing. So help me out. In the meantime, here s a brief look at some of what s going on around town this week. Tonight, there s an opening reception for works by Stephanie Eggleston Harrover at Eclectic Eye on Cooper. There s a Chef s Table of the Year multicourse dinner by Chef Jose Gutierrez at Chez Philippe in The Peabody. There s a Mr. Airplane Man CD-Release Party with The Dutch Masters at the Hi-Tone. And tonight kicks off this weekend s big International Blues Challenge, with some 90 acts performing and competing in various clubs on Beale Street.
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