First of all, and I know this has already gotten plenty of ink and television time, both locally and nationally, but let s just give it up one more time for the Memphis Grizzlies and the National Civil Rights Museum for the Martin Luther King Jr. Day basketball game and halftime ceremony on MLK Day. For those of you who missed it, it was one of the most shining moments in this city s history. And I am not saying that racism isn t still alive (ask Trent Lott), but as for one of the real reasons behind bringing the team to town to provide both blacks and whites with a common cause for bonding together I d say Memphis has done a better job of this than any other NBA market. So go, Grizzlies. Keep up the good work. Now, on a much uglier note, this thing about war. I am surprised that every country in the world isn t planning to partner together and wipe the United States off the map. Is there no way that we can gong George W. Bush? Just have someone on hand at all times and whenever he opens his mouth just bang a giant gong so that we never have to here another inane word out of his inane mouth? And even Colin Powell, who, unlike Bush, seemed to have an IQ greater than that of an avocado pit, is now saying that we re just going to do this no matter what the rest of the world thinks. And who knows about Vice President Cheney, because they have to keep him hidden away. A Bush, a Dick, and a Colin. That s what we have on our hands here, unfortunately. The Paranoid Party. If they would all follow the lead of Bush s niece Noelle, and down a few Xanax every hour or so, we wouldn t be in this mess. And it is a mess. I know as well as anyone else that people have been at war since the beginning of time and that society is basically set up for it because men are so worried about the size of their penises, but you d think that after thousands and thousands of years of it, someone would figure out that it just doesn t pay off at the end of the day to be an asshole. It s not rocket science. And besides, how are we going to win a war with soldiers, who, according to Donald Rumsfeld, add no value to the military because they aren t smart enough? I think instead of attacking Iraq, we need to help them out. And the first thing we need to do is send over a crew of interior decorators. Have you seen those palaces??!! Now, that is a crime. Sorry, but 24K gold toilets and reproduction Victorian furniture A) are simply horrid in every way, and B) are more dangerous than any nerve gas or weapon of mass destruction. And don t offer up any BS about it being a cultural thing. It is BAD TASTE. Again, have thousands of years meant nothing to these people? Forget sending Martha Stewart to prison. Send her to Iraq with some glue guns and let her rip. After, that is, she pens her new cookbook, Tart Reform. In the meantime, here s a little look at some of what s going on around town this week. Tonight, of course, is Will & Grace night, so you may just want to stay home. Or you could check out day one of the four-day b>Memphis Symphony League Decorator Sale at Park Place Mall, a fund-raiser for the symphony with items for sale by antique dealers, interior decorators, and upscale retailers. It s also day one of the four-day International Blues Challenge, with live music in many of the clubs on Beale Street.
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